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Author Topic: Help, things arent going well..  (Read 1407 times)

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Tengo

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Help, things arent going well..
« on: August 01, 2018, 01:35:07 AM »

Here to pour my anguish out.

I've been a member of here and old forum  for many years and have wished throughout that I could get LL. I've known that I need it since age 20ish, though I always suppress the thought. It periodically hits me that no, I actually cant live my ambitions without LL, and here's the problem:

Before age 18 I had a lot of female attention and I was a good kid. Now in my upper mid twenties at 165cm I get rejected left and right, nothing to do with my approach, personality, charm, but everything to do with my stature. I've sensed it a lot in the past few years, that people respect me much less than a donkey with a bit more height. It doesn't matter how smart you are or whatever traits you devise to seem more attractive, stature always gets in the way. My ex asked me a few times seriously about my height and she was less than 160cm. Girls are always somehow slightly interested in me for my character/confidence/charm, but when it comes to it I get rejected and avoided because the taller guy looks more socially acceptable to date and walk with. Something that really bothers me is that when I'm sat down and chat to a girl I seem very attractive as my upper body is ok proportioned, but when I get up it disappoints them, and it's happened to me many times. All the rejections are grinding at me, and I don't deserve this.

The problem with short stature is that you can't fking fix it unless you have the resources and for me it's been a problem. I spent my income on my ex to make sure she feels secure with a man that has to be embarrassed of his height. With the way it's going I wont be able to get LL for at least another 5-7 years, I don't think I can wait that much longer, and I honestly don't want to live this life where I have to regret everyday that if I had 5 extra cms on my legs I wouldn't have to get rejected and avoided so much.

This is a genuine request, help me and I'll reciprocate 10 years down the road.
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419

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Re: Help, things arent going well..
« Reply #1 on: August 01, 2018, 01:56:40 AM »

Here to pour my anguish out.

I've been a member of here and old forum  for many years and have wished throughout that I could get LL. I've known that I need it since age 20ish, though I always suppress the thought. It periodically hits me that no, I actually cant live my ambitions without LL, and here's the problem:

Before age 18 I had a lot of female attention and I was a good kid. Now in my upper mid twenties at 165cm I get rejected left and right, nothing to do with my approach, personality, charm, but everything to do with my stature. I've sensed it a lot in the past few years, that people respect me much less than a donkey with a bit more height. It doesn't matter how smart you are or whatever traits you devise to seem more attractive, stature always gets in the way. My ex asked me a few times seriously about my height and she was less than 160cm. Girls are always somehow slightly interested in me for my character/confidence/charm, but when it comes to it I get rejected and avoided because the taller guy looks more socially acceptable to date and walk with. Something that really bothers me is that when I'm sat down and chat to a girl I seem very attractive as my upper body is ok proportioned, but when I get up it disappoints them, and it's happened to me many times. All the rejections are grinding at me, and I don't deserve this.

The problem with short stature is that you can't fking fix it unless you have the resources and for me it's been a problem. I spent my income on my ex to make sure she feels secure with a man that has to be embarrassed of his height. With the way it's going I wont be able to get LL for at least another 5-7 years, I don't think I can wait that much longer, and I honestly don't want to live this life where I have to regret everyday that if I had 5 extra cms on my legs I wouldn't have to get rejected and avoided so much.

This is a genuine request, help me and I'll reciprocate 10 years down the road.

I spent a lot of my money on a beauty but as soon as money dried up she ditched me for a taller guy. Lesson for you - do not spend on women, save get LL women will come to you without spending a lot
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Thatdude950

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Re: Help, things arent going well..
« Reply #2 on: August 01, 2018, 02:13:03 AM »

You're asking for money? Not that I think it's a good idea, but that's what banks are for if you're really desperate. Get a loan. And if that's no good and can't afford to pay a bank back how would you pay anyone here back?
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Tengo

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Re: Help, things arent going well..
« Reply #3 on: August 01, 2018, 02:20:16 AM »

It's not easy to avoid it especially as you get older.
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Tengo

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Re: Help, things arent going well..
« Reply #4 on: August 01, 2018, 02:23:14 AM »

Dude I don't know. I'm having a  ty life and I've gave it enough patience.
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Bonez

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Re: Help, things arent going well..
« Reply #5 on: August 01, 2018, 02:40:10 AM »

How old are you if you don’t mind me asking
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Tengo

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Re: Help, things arent going well..
« Reply #6 on: August 01, 2018, 02:56:02 AM »

28
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Bonez

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Re: Help, things arent going well..
« Reply #7 on: August 01, 2018, 03:28:51 AM »

Don’t you have any credit?
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Sweden

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Re: Help, things arent going well..
« Reply #8 on: August 01, 2018, 05:04:36 AM »

Anyone with a brain can get $20.000 today. Anyone. Even people in third world.
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173cm before LL with Sarin, jan -13. Now 180cm tall. Considering 5cm on femurs.

..

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Re: Help, things arent going well..
« Reply #9 on: August 01, 2018, 05:21:02 AM »

Anyone with a brain can get $20.000 today. Anyone. Even people in third world.

Here in the third world, if you earn $400/month, it'd be considered pretty good.

Also, you don't expect everyone to go to Sarin, do you? 😆
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YungGud

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Re: Help, things arent going well..
« Reply #10 on: August 01, 2018, 05:26:47 AM »

Anyone with a brain can get $20.000 today. Anyone. Even people in third world.
you totally wrong about third world,when i was living in Russia i have got an experience that ur can make 20000$ but per  year and if ur are lucky:)
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Height 5 ft 10 ( 178)
Goal 6 ft 2
wingspan 6 ft 2 (188)

Sweden

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Re: Help, things arent going well..
« Reply #11 on: August 01, 2018, 08:21:29 AM »

Here in the third world, if you earn $400/month, it'd be considered pretty good.

Also, you don't expect everyone to go to Sarin, do you? 😆

There are even cheaper options, but for $20.000 he can get his 5cm without financial worries.

It hasn’t anything to do with Dr Sarin.
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173cm before LL with Sarin, jan -13. Now 180cm tall. Considering 5cm on femurs.

Tengo

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Re: Help, things arent going well..
« Reply #12 on: August 01, 2018, 09:03:33 AM »

@Sweden, I live in Europe and by the time I save $20k it'll be 3 years. Then there's the worry of needing more for any possible complication, and covering the CV gap with something. Also for $20k do you mean Russian doctor?

When you came back after ll did people finally realise what you've done or did you manage to get away with it, and how did the ladies respond with the new height?
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tlannister

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Re: Help, things arent going well..
« Reply #13 on: August 01, 2018, 11:24:53 AM »

you should become a rentboy, luxary rentboy.

i think u will get closer to LL that way than asking strangers on a forum to lend you their money.

Good luck
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Body Builder

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Re: Help, things arent going well..
« Reply #14 on: August 01, 2018, 11:57:29 AM »

Tengo I can truly understand what you say.
Although I was 1.68 before LL and I was lucky to be with some beautiful girls who didn't have any problem with my height (and they were very good looking, much better than my current gf), still for the majority of women I was invisible.
And I was lucky to have great proportions, a good face and a fit body (not muscular like now).

But after LL things are much easier. Still many women don't like my height but at least 50% are completely ok with that (without even thinking about it as something not good) and men respect me as they do with every normal man. I am muscular which makes respect from men even easier but I truly believe that even with a normal body (not skinny though) I would still have no problem geting respect

Anyway, yes you need LL and it will change a lot. First of all on how you feel about yourself and secondly about how other see you. And these two things are connected.
With about 15k euros you could do LL with a good doctor like Solomin and stay for some months on Rusia.
With 20k you could do the same with Giotikas in Greece (without staying there though) .
If you can't save more than that then go to Rusia. Chances to have a good result are on your side. And do 6cm to reach more than 1.70 border. 6cm on tibias are safe and every cm more matters (when you are less than 1.80).
So, do the big step and change your life. I can assure you that things will be much better if you overcome the border of 1.70. Still you are going to have problems on dating but at least 1/3 of women will date you without thinking about your height.
For now I think that not more than 10% will be ok with an 1.65 man even if he is perfect in anything else.
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Pyotr

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Re: Help, things arent going well..
« Reply #15 on: August 01, 2018, 03:25:35 PM »

I have been short all my life.  I am NOT going to write that short stature does not have an impact on one's life; HOWEVER, most traits have an impact on one's life.  Short, tall, fat, skinny, smart, stupid, lazy, energetic, optimistic, pessimistic--and on and on--all impact one's life. 

If you think leg lengthening will improve your love life; then, you are sadly mistaken.  Leg lengthening may cause a different population of persons to find you attractive; however, that population will not necessarily be larger or smaller than the current population that finds you attractive.

In my experience, many people will not find you attractive unless and until you become comfortable with who you are--it does not appear to me that you are comfortable with whatever good stuff you bring to a relationship and instead focus on what you perceive as a weakness; namely, your height. 

If I was a woman and got the same vibe from you that you are sending out in your post, I wouldn't be attracted to you either.  Rather than focus on your stature, I suggest you begin to honestly identify those traits you possess that you admire and value; then, begin to see yourself as someone with these genuinely valuable things to offer rather than as a guy shorted by the world.  (Pun intended.)
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Purushrottam

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Re: Help, things arent going well..
« Reply #16 on: August 02, 2018, 03:56:44 AM »

I have been short all my life.  I am NOT going to write that short stature does not have an impact on one's life; HOWEVER, most traits have an impact on one's life.  Short, tall, fat, skinny, smart, stupid, lazy, energetic, optimistic, pessimistic--and on and on--all impact one's life. 

If you think leg lengthening will improve your love life; then, you are sadly mistaken.  Leg lengthening may cause a different population of persons to find you attractive; however, that population will not necessarily be larger or smaller than the current population that finds you attractive.

In my experience, many people will not find you attractive unless and until you become comfortable with who you are--it does not appear to me that you are comfortable with whatever good stuff you bring to a relationship and instead focus on what you perceive as a weakness; namely, your height. 

If I was a woman and got the same vibe from you that you are sending out in your post, I wouldn't be attracted to you either.  Rather than focus on your stature, I suggest you begin to honestly identify those traits you possess that you admire and value; then, begin to see yourself as someone with these genuinely valuable things to offer rather than as a guy shorted by the world.  (Pun intended.)

Just stop. I've been told that stupid sh(it) all my life prior to LL. Its not true at all. Being short, in my pre and post LL experiences has a much bigger impact on your life than most of the other factors you mentioned. I would know because I was basically running on a self improvement treadmill and not getting anywhere.

There was nothing wrong with me before. I certainly didn't hate myself. However if you are short (and Indian/Asian), you are going to have a hard time having a normal, healthy relationship.
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Had LL in Sept 2017 with Dr. Paley.
Starting height: 168.5 cm (5'6.5"); Ending height: 175 cm (5'9")
http://www.limblengtheningforum.com/index.php?topic=4823.0

KrP1

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Re: Help, things arent going well..
« Reply #17 on: August 02, 2018, 07:24:38 AM »

Sincerelly , i hate those stupid posts of people saying that LL os nota going to change anything in tour Life ir that the only thing You need yo be atractive is to be Happy with how hoy are and bla bla bla... Yes , You are 165cm taller and LL could change your Life , yes Girls dont find a 165cm man atractive as boys dont find atractive an obesse women , yes you Will be more respected buenas people if you ver taller , people Who says that this is not true are ignorants
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Pyotr

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Re: Help, things arent going well..
« Reply #18 on: August 02, 2018, 02:51:31 PM »

"I am short; therefore, no one loves me".  What self-pitying nonsense!

Many people reject truth when it applies to them.  Why, because when you blame your dissatisfaction on something that is difficult to change; by doing so, you minimize your ability (or responsibility) to change.

You say to yourself, "Nobody finds me attractive because I am short."  Then, you tell yourself, "but there is nothing I can do about being short so it is not my fault that nobody finds me attractive."

Odds are, far more people find you unattractive because you whine about your height when you could be a smart, successful, fun, energetic, thoughtful person who happens to be short, then do because of your height alone.

In any event, I wish you all the best.

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edwardv6

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Re: Help, things arent going well..
« Reply #19 on: August 03, 2018, 01:22:56 AM »

"I am short; therefore, no one loves me".  What self-pitying nonsense!

Many people reject truth when it applies to them.  Why, because when you blame your dissatisfaction on something that is difficult to change; by doing so, you minimize your ability (or responsibility) to change.

You say to yourself, "Nobody finds me attractive because I am short."  Then, you tell yourself, "but there is nothing I can do about being short so it is not my fault that nobody finds me attractive."

Odds are, far more people find you unattractive because you whine about your height when you could be a smart, successful, fun, energetic, thoughtful person who happens to be short, then do because of your height alone.

In any event, I wish you all the best.
How about that beta mindset TS has thinking he needs to spend money on his girl to keep her happy and sticking around. Bet he never thought that might be a problem or the root to other/more problems. It's easy to think oh, I'll just get this surgery and boom problem solved rather than asking the real questions and taking the time to really think things out. He'll get the surgery, get nowhere fast and continue to complain some more.

And for the virgins KrP1 and Purushrottam, if you are actually getting laid nowadays, is it really because you're taller, or you have more [a false sense of] confidence now because you're taller and finally got the balls to walk up to a woman and say something, probably very awkwardly. Sorry you two never had game when you felt shorter, you guys still probably don't have any judging by the way you guys post. LOL @Purushrottam, wtf do you know about having a normal, healthy relationship with your toxic, insecure way of thinking about relationships lol you've probably yet to even have one.
« Last Edit: August 03, 2018, 01:49:49 AM by edwardv6 »
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Purushrottam

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Re: Help, things arent going well..
« Reply #20 on: August 03, 2018, 02:49:16 AM »

How about that beta mindset TS has thinking he needs to spend money on his girl to keep her happy and sticking around. Bet he never thought that might be a problem or the root to other/more problems. It's easy to think oh, I'll just get this surgery and boom problem solved rather than asking the real questions and taking the time to really think things out. He'll get the surgery, get nowhere fast and continue to complain some more.

Goes without saying. Make sure you are the best version of yourself before considering this surgery. That means having self respect and not doing things like that.

And for the virgins KrP1 and Purushrottam, if you are actually getting laid nowadays, is it really because you're taller, or you have more [a false sense of] confidence now because you're taller and finally got the balls to walk up to a woman and say something, probably very awkwardly. Sorry you two never had game when you felt shorter, you guys still probably don't have any judging by the way you guys post. LOL @Purushrottam, wtf do you know about having a normal, healthy relationship with your toxic, insecure way of thinking about relationships lol you've probably yet to even have one.

I don't think you and I are ever going to come to an agreement on this and thats ok. Believe whatever you wish to believe. I think you should read the last update from my diary to see where I'm coming from:


Overall though, life feels so much better. I'm not 100% convinced if its because of the surgery, or because I'm in a new city, or because I have a new job. I used to always get depression, thinking my life wasn't going anywhere. I was a dude with a really good career and everything about my life was good on paper... except for having 0 luck dating (or even eliciting any female interest). It was really frustrating seeing people put in less effort than me but getting a lot more in return. This was slowly turning me into a bitter person. I remember when I was in the pool at Homewood Suites, in the middle of the lengthening... I was afraid I was going to be a really bitter, angry person "Why do I have to go through this to have a normal, well adjusted life?!? Lifes not fair".

That NEVER happened. While during recovery, I was a little resentful, now that I am fully recovered, I feel so blessed. Almost everything in life is going my way now. The previous post I made on this thread may seem a bit random, but I don't remember every being depressed/angry since then.

I find it pretty easy to make friends now. Getting dates with women I'm interested isn't too hard either. Pre LL me would have been nervous as hell before a date, thinking I had to be on top of my game to keep her interest (and usually that was the case. If you are unattractive, you do have to be the best version of yourself to maintain her attention). Now I'm never nervous before a date, no matter how much of a 'catch' I think the girl is. I just go there, act like myself (still make an effort though.. everyone deserves that from their date) and let things take their course. Before that I used to get ghosted all the time.

 It feels like a great weight has been lifted off my shoulder. I no longer spend time moping about being short/hating the world/etc. I've become a much more positive person overall. Small things that used to piss me off (ie. Uber driver taking the wrong exit for the airport by accident when I'm late for a flight) just don't bother me anymore. I noticed that change when my driver made a wrong turn. I was just like "hey, don't worry about it... we all make mistakes". It came out so naturally. Pre LL me would have been silent but would have thought "omg you ****ing retard how did you mess that up?!?"

I am not going to have as many updates from now on as there isn't really much to say. I still frequent the forums though, so if there are any questions I can answer them (prefer not PMs though. I don't get email notifications). Overall, if you had a complication free experience, I can't fathom why anyone would regret this surgery. The several month gap in my career meant nothing. I don't think it affected me at all. Now that I'm working again, its as if I've been working the whole time.

I'll have one when I have my rods removed. In September it will be 1 year post op. I need to get it removed within 2 years. I can't believe time flew by so quickly.
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Had LL in Sept 2017 with Dr. Paley.
Starting height: 168.5 cm (5'6.5"); Ending height: 175 cm (5'9")
http://www.limblengtheningforum.com/index.php?topic=4823.0

Tengo

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Re: Help, things arent going well..
« Reply #21 on: August 04, 2018, 01:21:10 AM »

-'If you think leg lengthening will improve your love life; then, you are sadly mistaken. In my experience, many people will not find you attractive unless and until you become comfortable with who you are--it does not appear to me that you are comfortable with whatever good stuff you bring to a relationship and instead focus on what you perceive as a weakness; namely, your height.'-

The good mentality and positivity is always there for me but when I continuously walk into a closed door I have to do a reality check. Of course every once in a while I feel better about my self but coming to the realisation that I'm so alone and how was I able to bear it so long?? Was wanking calming me down? Well now I'm a serial wanker but can't find real love.

My short stature isn't a perception that only I have; it's happened countless times where people I'm with happened to catch a womens attention and get the dreamy flirty eyes, and I'm standing right there but I'm not even part of the equation because apparently a few cms is the difference between yes and no. At university it happened to me 3 separate times where I was really into the girl, we went out a few times; girl1 went and had an affair with some romanian guy, girl2 started dancing with an english guy infront of me in the bar and instantly realised its embarrassing, girl3 just wanted sex in the summer and I wanted to take my time and develop a relationship but my height wasn't something for her to be proud of and parade in society. All 3 left me for guys around 172cm. I got with a hot girl less than a year after this sh*tshow, under extraordinary circumstances, and we broke up more than a year back because she couldn't keep it in her pants. How low have I become to have to wait for an extraordinary circumstance when next man 5cm taller can get on with his life without these problems.

It's clear to me what impact LL will have, having read diaries for years, and looking in the mirror at my tiptoeing 172cm self seeing the difference between a yes and a no.

This is frustrating and unbearable.
« Last Edit: August 04, 2018, 02:11:31 AM by Tengo »
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