Hi everyone,
I am a Limb Lengthening veteran. I lengthened 8 cm on my femur with an internal lengthening nail in 2019. In 2023, I lengthened 6 cm on my tibias with external frames (Taylor Spatial Frames LATN). Both surgeries with
Dr. Giotikas in Athens, Greece. Great experience both times. I have long since recovered from the 2019 procedure and I have recovered well from the 2023 tibia surgery (fully consolidated, am jogging now, no complications).
I never wrote diaries because I, myself, didn’t find diaries particularly helpful in my journey. I thought most of them were too personal/patient-centric to be that useful to me. Many of the diaries just seemed to focus on personal matters like pain, depression, and loneliness. Pain/ depression occurs with everyone, but that varies quite a bit from patient to patient. For instance, my LL journey (both times) was one of the happiest periods in my life (despite the discomfort). I feel it comes down very much to your mindset, so I will discuss that below.
I started posting on the LL Forum a couple months ago to try to offer practical advice to people considering this surgery. Many men have approached me with concerns about their
mindset/ mental condition, so this is clearly an important topic for the community. I get questions like-
Am I crazy for wanting to do this surgery?
Is it morally wrong?
What will my friends think? Will my parents disown me?
How do I explain my new height?
How can I keep this private?
Can I do it alone or will I need a home aide?
What should I tell my boss so I can get the necessary time off? I have helped many with these questions. Usually via 1 on 1 interaction. I must understand your situation to give advice.
The
mindset question is broad enough to address in a post, which I will do with this post right now. However, I want to emphasize that
these opinions are purely my own. Your experience may differ. Furthermore, my views often change over time. Intellectually honest people alter their opinions when presented with evidence. With that said-
Mental StateI cannot give you psychiatric advice. But I can describe
my mindset. It got me through Cosmetic Limb Lengthening (CLL) twice with a great outcome both times. 2 points-
1). Do NOT feel guilty for improving your life You are not crazy or selfish for considering LL. Your height dysphoria has
interfered and/or downright stopped you from living. Wanting to be the best man you can be and reach your potential IS NOT selfish. That is a selfless act because-
Solving your challenges frees you to help others. Your mind can focus. Instead of thinking about your height 24/7 and operating at only 20% of your capacity. Now you can be there for others. Never feel guilty for striving to be great. Lots of people will tell you that you don’t need this procedure. I agree, you don’t need it. But in the end,
it's you that has to accept yourself. If you decide to do it, do it for yourself.
CLL is a good way to get yourself to the “next level” when you have other things in your life figured out (business/ career, social skills, dating skills, etc). It will help you advance if you have reached a bottleneck due to this height problem. But please remember- it is not a super potion/ magic bullet. It will certainly help you, but it will not magically transform every aspect of your life that needs improvement. You will still need to
put in work to advance in the key domains of life even after you increase your stature.
On a sidenote, I realize this is a very dangerous procedure. However, putting the physical elements aside, I have come to equate the
psychological desire for Limb Lengthening to how a woman wants breast implants or a Brazilian Butt Lift (BBL). Those surgeries enhance a woman’s self esteem and make her feel more attractive in a similiar way that CLL does for men.
2). High-value men take strong actions A high-value man improves his value to the world. If something interferes, the strongest action is fixing it (safely). Strong actions lead you to freedom, dignity, and self-respect. Fixing your height dysphoria will free your mind.
Here are 2 options to fix it (with tips):
Option 1- get Limb Lengthening done with a reputable and safe surgeon. Prepare physically- Get your legs as flexible as possible. Build a strong upper body. That will help you lift yourself out of the wheelchair, be confident with crutches, and be independent. I have a strong upper body. I never needed a home aide. I can discuss this more in a separate post.
Pick a great surgeon- best practices/ tips on
interviewing your surgeon will follow in a
later post. There are several questions you need to ask. I have seen rankings here that supposedly say certain surgeons are “top tier” whereas others are not. Not sure I agree with everything that has been written. But that will be addressed in another post specifically aimed at how to interview the surgeons.
Follow the surgeon’s orders to the letter, even if you think you know better. Ask him your questions and mention your research, but please DO NOT consider yourself an expert. It doesn't matter how many hours you spent on this forum or how many limb-lengthening studies you read. Those things are valuable and I encourage you to research, but we are not doctors. This advice applies to veterans (like me) who got the surgery.
Interviewing a surgeon also does not make you a surgeon (or qualified to provide medical advice). This forum is an amazing resource and I’m glad we have it. However, it can also be confusing, contradictory, and filled with false information. Be careful.
Prepare mentally for CLL by adopting a successful mindset, which I will now cover-
MINDSETWhat was the pain like?
What was it like being alone both times?
What was your mental health like during and after?
Perhaps the
happiest (and most relaxed) I have ever been was during my lengthening in Greece. Men need a
Mission/ Purpose. We NEED to achieve goals, build something, and solve a problem. Or we stagnate. In Greece, I was solving my height problem. My mind was clear. I was focused. The physical pain/ discomfort was tolerable because the
psychological pain disappeared.
I also
believed that everything would work out. I cannot prove this, but our subconscious manifests our reality.
Thoughts are energy. They hold real-world consequences. Our minds are connected to God and the universe.
You choose your reality based on
what you tell yourself in your mind. When you believe you are attractive, you become attractive (and others will see you that way). Most will view your confidence as proof and accept your reality.
So, if you
envision yourself succeeding at CLL, you WILL succeed (IF YOU PICK A REPUTABLE SURGEON). However, even if you pick the world’s best surgeon, you
may have a setback/ complication (it happens to all the doctors). You will overcome that setback if your surgeon is proactive, you trust the process and believe in yourself.
My discomfort/ pain was a temporary inconvenience because my
mindset was strong. And I trusted Dr. Giotikas (my surgeon) and
followed his orders well. The human spirit adapts to uncomfortable situations once you accept them for what they are (temporary discomfort that leads you to your goal). You wake up, feel better, and keep going.
Option 2- Accept your height and improve other aspects of your lifeHere are some things you can try. You can do them instead of CLL (or in addition to it).
1). Find your Life Purpose. Your purpose is whatever you want it to be. Something you are excited to do for the next 30 years.
2). Attain celebrity status (or high status in a particular niche/ field). This brings access to beautiful women and high-status men. Your height may bother you less. There are tons of short celebrities/ world leaders. Does their height bother them? At least to some extent, I’m sure. Did any do CLL? Not to my knowledge.
3). Find God and become devoted to your religion
4). Move to a country with
shorter people5). Move to a country with
better dating options IF women are your main motivation for this surgery. This is purely my experience (and those of many friends), but I feel that cold-approaching women you do not know will always be somewhat difficult in the Western World (USA, Canada, UK, Western Europe). No matter how tall, handsome, and compelling of a man you become. You will get rejected a lot (unless you are a celebrity). But I have lived in many non-Western countries with a MUCH better dating environment for men (regardless of your height). I can make a separate post about this subject later if there is enough interest.
6).
Therapy. There is no shame in seeking therapy. I encourage you to do so, especially if your thoughts are overwhelming and intrusive. If you are diagnosed with Body Dysmorphic Disorder, read the book on BDD by Dr. Katharine Phillips.
7).
Meditation/ Autogenic Training (there is a great book on AT by Kai Kermani)
Best of luck to you all in your journey.
Post your questions on this thread and/or send me a PM if you need help.
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Topic: LL Mindset (Advice from Veteran) (Read 1222 times)