... full remote ... I live alone ... 5 years or so, I've been pretty much going through the motions in life, ... bored ... bored ... bored ...
So for years you have voluntarily self-isolated yourself away from any friends, family, or coworkers, by living alone and working in a job where you sit still and push buttons all day, and you wonder by you have lost all social skills, are lonely, bored, miserable, slowly decaying away, wondering why
your life has absolutely no meaning. No purpose.
And you're seeking a magic pill to fix the damage that you've self inflected over many years.
I think you're a fish in a dirty fish tank, slowly breathing in toxic algae that tastes sweet. But the algae has clouded your judgement, so now, to fix it, you think that it would be easier to spend a small fortune on putting chemicals into the water, rather than doing the obvious solution of cleaning the damn fish-tank.
If I were you, I would get out of your comfort zone. Get a roommate. Ditch the remote tech job, and get a job that you actually think does
good in the world and has human interaction. A job that
you believe has purpose and meaning; Helping animals (veterinarian, veterinarian-technician, dog-walker, zoo-keeper), helping people (nurse, firefighter, teacher), charity work, (or depending on your opinions perhaps even military service), etc.
Some job that you look at and you think "those are good people".
When you become old and ugly, your code will mean nothing. Your apps will be deprecated. Your scripts will be obsolete.
A nurse will look back and say "I helped thousands of people, and I saved hundreds of lives".
Whom do you think is happier?