Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[wrecked]

I did LL during my uni's summer break with the help of my family with precice. I went back to uni and everything worked out great. I went back home again the next year and got my nails removed with the help of my family. I went back to uni and graduated. It was the best time of my life.

I have now moved back closer to home after graduating and to my dismay the news has spread. I keep getting asked by random neighbors and friends and cousins about how I feel now and whether I can still run and crap like that. i get sympathy from some people. One person asked me for my doctor's contact. It is torturous. I had taken so much pain to hide it from my friends at the uni, but meanwhile my family has shown complete disregard to my privacy. I don't know who exactly started it, it could have been by grandma or my dad or my sister.

I can't even begin to articulate what I'm experiencing right now. If being short had made me insecure this makes me twice as much insecure. LL is not something I could have done without family support. If involving family means this, then I honestly feel its better to just not do this surgery.

[Omar]

Hi guy,

you have nothing to reproach yourself for. it's not you who wanted to show off or whatever. if it's a member of your family, sooner or later he'll tell you and he probably blames himself already. You did the hardest man. you are in the coolest phase with a new life waiting for you. don't worry about what people think and enjoy your new body. I have a question about this? did you keep a similar approach before and after the operation and can you resume the sport as before?

[markr09]

I did LL during my uni's summer break with the help of my family with precice. I went back to uni and everything worked out great. I went back home again the next year and got my nails removed with the help of my family. I went back to uni and graduated. It was the best time of my life.

I have now moved back closer to home after graduating and to my dismay the news has spread. I keep getting asked by random neighbors and friends and cousins about how I feel now and whether I can still run and crap like that. i get sympathy from some people. One person asked me for my doctor's contact. It is torturous. I had taken so much pain to hide it from my friends at the uni, but meanwhile my family has shown complete disregard to my privacy. I don't know who exactly started it, it could have been by grandma or my dad or my sister.

I can't even begin to articulate what I'm experiencing right now. If being short had made me insecure this makes me twice as much insecure. LL is not something I could have done without family support. If involving family means this, then I honestly feel its better to just not do this surgery.

I feel for you. It's tough which family members you'd want to involve with this considering it's such a life-changing operation. Considering they'd also support you through the struggle. My only advice is talk to your family about this situation, and at the very least contain it within your family and whoever is involved not to pry any further. However that's going to be tough, but in anycase you've surpassed a pretty hard surgery to begin with, and struggled thru it. Eventually, I'm sure you'll take it in strides and be confident with your new height regardless of what happened.

To other people reading, make sure you try to tell whomever you're telling in confidence that they are capable to respect your privacy and only keep it to themselves. You're already in a tough situation handling it mentally, you wouldn't want anyone else you're not even close with to be involved. That's why in my case, I'd only tell my parents and my girlfriend. I know how much of a blabbermouth my grandma is especially to other family members.

[wrecked]

Dont know if my previous reply came but here goes

My atheltic abilities increased after surgery because I was a fatass before and never really worked out.

I recently made a post on reddit (offmychest kind of subreddit) crying out my dilemma and to my dismay, I received a lot of hateful comments ridiculing my decision to get LL and that I deserve what happened to me

I went borderline suicidal after that and looked for ways to off myself (I am fine now thank you)

At the end of the day even family's love is not unconditional. They will rat you out if it gives them something gossip about. Only you can truly love yourself.

FML

[Height Journey]

So you recently graduated from your University? Then find a new job far away from your old home where you have to move into a new place away from your family.

[GoneGhost]

Damn, I was considering being honest and truthful to some friends (I only told close family). I see now that it might be a bad idea even if they are trustworthy because of the risk and you can't go back.

Even if it's not honorable, I think it will be better to lie (i.e. tell everyone that asks that it was an accident or deformity surgery) and gaslight everyone concerning your new height lol. Simpler, plus also it's none of their business to be quite honest.

[DanishViking]

The only way to stop caring about other peoples opinions is to love yourself more by increasing your confidence. And also expressing unpopular opinions helps since the more you face your fear, the less is scares you. Start going to the gym, change your style, earn more money, be more productive and you will over time slowly start to gain more confidence and people will respect you more naturely regardless of LL...

[5cmtaller]

damn i am in a similar situation, currently 17th day consolidation. i did not tell anyone about the surgery, you made me realise that my decision is the right one. It is a heavy burden carrying such a  big secret.

[TheDream]

It does not matter who you tell. Your parents, your wife, your best friend etc.

That person will tell one other close person in their life in confidence. This person will then tell two others, who will each tell it to three others, who will each tell it to four others etc.

Before long, everyone in the social hemisphere in contact with the first person will know.

Someone doing LL is like the atomic bomb of gossip. No one will be able to keep that to themselves.

If you tell even 1 person expect everyone to find out sooner rather than later.

[markr09]

I recently made a post on reddit (offmychest kind of subreddit) crying out my dilemma and to my dismay, I received a lot of hateful comments ridiculing my decision to get LL and that I deserve what happened to me

I would surely assume people would think of that considering a lot of people still think of this surgery negatively without thinking of the mental issues that come along with being short. A lot of people, even shorties would just try to force self-confidence like "short kings" to other short guys, but while that may be positive to think about, it doesn't always apply to everyone since height dysphoria comes in many mental shapes and forms. In my opinion, I'm more impressed by the person who is willing to undergo such mental and physical trauma from surgery/therapy to better themselves and gain more confidence, than the usual "just accept who you are" bs because we all know that doesn't always meet the common society's standards. They say to change what you can control and not what you can't, but you can control your height in this case, so why not?

I'd take DanishViking's advice, go and start working out more as well and take in you have accepted LL as part of your life to other people if they already know. Eventually, people will start to respect you more with your confidence. Same way as I respect people like Noel Deyzel who are actually open about their steroid use, seek to better themselves and others rather than just some douche hiding such an obvious thing and putting other people down.

[wrecked]

Yes I am planning to move away from home asap. I have started looking for jobs in other places. It will take my mind away from this situation but the problem is only partially solved.

Seriously guys this is frustrating. I threw my phone and broke it the other day when a family member sent me a stupid message with a link to a viral LL article (one with Dr D) on messenger. I don't think words can describe my state of mind. Since I did the full 8cm my proportions are slightly unusual. After people find out that I have done LL some are able to spot the odd proportions. This is another thing I regret. While lengthening my doc said I'm doing well and can go the full 8 instead of another surgery. So I just did it. Now I think it's quite conspicuous.

I don't even want to confront my family about all this because I fear that they will spread the word some more. I have lost faith in family. Why would they do this to me when I went through a painful ordeal right under their nose. Did they find something amusing that they wanted to gossip about it? particularly my sister.

[TheDream]

No you should not bring it up. In fact, the more you bring it up the worse it will get, as you are drawing attention to it.

The best thing to do is simply ignore it, and never bring it up with anyone, if anyone brings it up via text or whatever either dont reply or reply with a laughing emoji.

You gain nothing from getting into an argument about this.

As to your sister or whomever, as I said before, someone doing LL is like the atomic bomb of gossip, no one will be able to resist the urge to tell someone close to them.

[DanishViking]

Wrecked I sort of know what your're going trough. My entire family don't support my choice of doing LL in the future. I literally don't have any good relationship espically with my parents anymore, because they keep trying to talk me out of doing it. My parents are wealthy and could easily support me financially, but have chosen not to do so, even tho I just need the last like 20% of the money.

At the end of the day if someone don't support you doing LL, that just tells you that they're bad at putting themselves in others shoes and unemphathic, and because of this should avoid them. It's better not to have toxic people in your life than try to change them, they're never going to be different.

Honestly I think everyone has something that is bad trait. Wether it's being short, having a big nose, being fat, bad style, bald etc people can always find something to bully you on. However they're usually only going to continue the bullying if you keep giving the right reaction by being mad or annoyed or seem like a easy victim and fall into there cards. Never give people that option, just simply ignore them like they don't exist.

But I guess wearing loser pants, (regular/slim?) not drawing unwanted attention towards it, and working on the things I listed before would greatly improve this aspect of your life. It did for me at least.

[Notlucky]

You can move to another city. Problem solved
 It's is not like you went viral or public on the internet or the media. Only a small number of people know about you and the majority of people they talk to them about you won't even know your name.

[GoneGhost]

Crazy idea : What if you lied to everyone you can lie to? Like deny everything, or tell them you had a deformity correction (worst case). There's no moral obligation to tell them the truth, it's none of their business. For my part, I don't expect them understand, so I plan to tell to lie/gaslight so simplify things. Be a mountain.

I imagine you must be living a nightmare (I'm not too far off from your situation, I just learned of my close ones leaked that I had surgery, I think some of my friends are onto me too RIP). Everything must be overwhelming right now, but I believe people will eventually forget, but it may take a while.

Like the others said, screw what everyone else thinks. Build you confidence.

If all else fails, yeah, move somewhere else. I assume you're young and have the rest of your life.

[Notlucky]

By the way, you are a new person now and you can make everything new. You can get a new home, new job, new life, new friends. You are not stuck in that certain city. I recommend you move out and forget you ever where short. Forget this forum too.

[r2d2]

What did you honestly think was going to happen if you involved your ENTIRE immediate family in your LL process? As someone doing the surgery you know how  ty human beings are. Did you not consider someone would spill? You should have been mentally prepared and ok with people knowing.

This is why if you don't want people to know, you should not tell a single soul. If you need financial help, too bad, take out loans or work for a while instead of having your family pay for it. Otherwise be prepared for the outcome where everyone in your personal life finds out.

[1team]

If your family paid for the surgery you were going to have a hard time keeping it secret. As another poster mentioned you need to assume someone would spill.

Other problem about doing 8cm femurs and it being conspicuous is an increasing issue in the LL community due to docs advertising everywhere and patients going public.

[NailedLegs]

"I went borderline suicidal after that and looked for ways to off myself (I am fine now thank you)"

I'm glad you are doing better now. That is incredibly serious.

 Realistically, there's not much you can do at this point. Everybody knows and theres no going back. If the pain of your family knowing is that high, then your best bet is to simply just move to a new city. And also telling your family you don't wanna talk about the procedure.

[nofear26]

Wrecked I sort of know what your're going trough. My entire family don't support my choice of doing LL in the future. I literally don't have any good relationship espically with my parents anymore, because they keep trying to talk me out of doing it. My parents are wealthy and could easily support me financially, but have chosen not to do so, even tho I just need the last like 20% of the money.

At the end of the day if someone don't support you doing LL, that just tells you that they're bad at putting themselves in others shoes and unemphathic, and because of this should avoid them. It's better not to have toxic people in your life than try to change them, they're never going to be different.

I’m in a similar position to you. My parents could pay for Paley which would barely put a dent in their financials. However, they are adamant in their belief that limb lengthening is not the right choice for me.

While it’s frustrating that the closest people to you can’t seem to empathize with your situation, I don’t think cutting them off or even labeling them as toxic is the right choice. Despite not seeing eye to eye, understand that your parents always wish the best for you, even if they are wrong. If your life happens to go awry and you fall into deep  , I imagine your family would be the few willing to help out.

For my situation, I’ve simply told them that we have our differences on limb lengthening and I’m willing to pay for it myself. But when the time comes, I hope to have their blessings which would make the recovery phase much easier.

[JJ299]

Dont know if my previous reply came but here goes

My atheltic abilities increased after surgery because I was a fatass before and never really worked out.

I recently made a post on reddit (offmychest kind of subreddit) crying out my dilemma and to my dismay, I received a lot of hateful comments ridiculing my decision to get LL and that I deserve what happened to me

I went borderline suicidal after that and looked for ways to off myself (I am fine now thank you)

At the end of the day even family's love is not unconditional. They will rat you out if it gives them something gossip about. Only you can truly love yourself.

FML

Usually lot of the hate that comes after getting LL isn't fueled by concerns/sympathy but jealously. I remember a dwarf getting 1ft+ LL and posting her experience/result on reddit. She got like 30k+ upvotes with almost all of them being very supportive/positive comments - this is because even if a dwarf gets LL they will still be taller than her, but do you know which community brandished her for getting the surgery? The dwarf community. This is because her height change effects their communities status quo and gives the idea of " If she can do it why can't I?" - but as you know this surgery is almost  inaccessible for the majority of people out there due the financial, emotional, and physical investment required.

Now imagine a 170cm person suddenly becoming 180cm - they essentially went from short to tall which gives the vast majority of people the feeling I mentioned before - it breaks the status quo and give them a major case of FOMO. So rather than giving constructive comments they go straight to hateful comments like " You are a cripple now", "Yeah but you have t-rex arms", or " You will regret it in 30 years ".

[EndGame]

Usually lot of the hate that comes after getting LL isn't fueled by concerns/sympathy but jealously. I remember a dwarf getting 1ft+ LL and posting her experience/result on reddit. She got like 30k+ upvotes with almost all of them being very supportive/positive comments - this is because even if a dwarf gets LL they will still be taller than her, but do you know which community brandished her for getting the surgery? The dwarf community. This is because her height change effects their communities status quo and gives the idea of " If she can do it why can't I?" - but as you know this surgery is almost  inaccessible for the majority of people out there due the financial, emotional, and physical investment required.

Now imagine a 170cm person suddenly becoming 180cm - they essentially went from short to tall which gives the vast majority of people the feeling I mentioned before - it breaks the status quo and give them a major case of FOMO. So rather than giving constructive comments they go straight to hateful comments like " You are a cripple now", "Yeah but you have t-rex arms", or " You will regret it in 30 years ".

+1
Completely true. Guys pre and post LL still taller than me don't care. Guys who went from taller than me to shorter than me ones who crack jokes occasionally and clearly jealous, feeling like I robbed them of their birth rite lol.

[1team]

+1
Completely true. Guys pre and post LL still taller than me don't care. Guys who went from taller than me to shorter than me ones who crack jokes occasionally and clearly jealous, feeling like I robbed them of their birth rite lol.

What jokes are they making? LL doesn't lend itself to humor.

[truthdial]

Usually lot of the hate that comes after getting LL isn't fueled by concerns/sympathy but jealously. I remember a dwarf getting 1ft+ LL and posting her experience/result on reddit. She got like 30k+ upvotes with almost all of them being very supportive/positive comments - this is because even if a dwarf gets LL they will still be taller than her, but do you know which community brandished her for getting the surgery? The dwarf community. This is because her height change effects their communities status quo and gives the idea of " If she can do it why can't I?" - but as you know this surgery is almost  inaccessible for the majority of people out there due the financial, emotional, and physical investment required.

Now imagine a 170cm person suddenly becoming 180cm - they essentially went from short to tall which gives the vast majority of people the feeling I mentioned before - it breaks the status quo and give them a major case of FOMO. So rather than giving constructive comments they go straight to hateful comments like " You are a cripple now", "Yeah but you have t-rex arms", or " You will regret it in 30 years ".

This is absolutely true! At the end of the day this surgery is about outgrowing other people. So it's what is called a "zero-sum-game". You become happier after LL because you are taller than more people than before LL. That also elevates your position in society and puts you at a more respectable position. This surgery is a success only if other shorter people don't get to do it and remain short.

That's why I almost barf at the idea of someone floating the concept of doing LL to for themselves and to feel one with their body. That is just plain euphemism for "I want to outgrow a bunch of people".

This is a wonderful time to be an LL surgeon or medical device company. Market this procedure like crazy using euphemisms like "self fulfilment". Make it go mainstream. Have patients lining up due to FOMO. Make $$$$$.

[truthdial]

When LL gets more popular

[lessthanavg8300]

Lmao women cannot keep their mouthes shut, its impulsive for them.  They literally evolved to gossip for safety to know whats going on in the tribe (sorry for sounding like an incel).  You seem to have learned this the hard way.   Anything you tell a woman you have shared to the world and might as well assume that.  Last girl I dated I might as well have been dating 4 girls because they knew every single little thing that happened in our relationship.  I guarantee it wasnt your dad flapping his gums.  And this is why I never told my family.  My mom and sister would never stfu about it until the end of time.

[NailedLegs]

This is absolutely true! At the end of the day this surgery is about outgrowing other people. So it's what is called a "zero-sum-game". You become happier after LL because you are taller than more people than before LL. That also elevates your position in society and puts you at a more respectable position. This surgery is a success only if other shorter people don't get to do it and remain short.

That's why I almost barf at the idea of someone floating the concept of doing LL to for themselves and to feel one with their body. That is just plain euphemism for "I want to outgrow a bunch of people".

This is a wonderful time to be an LL surgeon or medical device company. Market this procedure like crazy using euphemisms like "self fulfilment". Make it go mainstream. Have patients lining up due to FOMO. Make $$$$$.

This is true. Height is relative. If everyone was 6'0", then being 6'0" wouldn't be considered tall, and the magical number would go up. A 5'8" guy in the Philippines might be considered tall, but as soon as he goes to the west he's short. Or a 5'10" guy might be considered average in the USA, but in Cambodia he's tall.

You brought up a great point that hit the nail in the head. Other people need to be short in order for LL to work. Somebody has to get the short end of the stick(lol). There has to be some people essentially sacrificing themselves so that others may excel. It's like a game of hot potato. Somebody has to hold it in the end!

It's terrible, it's unfair, and it's not right. But it's the truth. We can all sit here and lie to ourselves and others, or we can be honest about it. It's essentially an arms race of height. A never ending fight and one-up'ing others.

When LL gets more popular

Knowledge of LL may increase, but the ability of people able to get it will not. I mentioned why in another thread -> http://www.limblengtheningforum.com/index.php?topic=84070.msg265759#msg265759 So I wouldn't worry too much. Maybe in 50 years when you can just take a pill once a day and you'll grow we'll have to worry.

[truthdial]

This is true. Height is relative. If everyone was 6'0", then being 6'0" wouldn't be considered tall, and the magical number would go up. A 5'8" guy in the Philippines might be considered tall, but as soon as he goes to the west he's short. Or a 5'10" guy might be considered average in the USA, but in Cambodia he's tall.

You brought up a great point that hit the nail in the head. Other people need to be short in order for LL to work. Somebody has to get the short end of the stick(lol). There has to be some people essentially sacrificing themselves so that others may excel. It's like a game of hot potato. Somebody has to hold it in the end!

It's terrible, it's unfair, and it's not right. But it's the truth. We can all sit here and lie to ourselves and others, or we can be honest about it. It's essentially an arms race of height. A never ending fight and one-up'ing others.

SPOT ON. The hot potato example is funny lol. And also sad.

The main group of people who want to avoid spreading this awareness, comprises of LL surgeons, clinics and medical companies who make nails. Because for them, business is flourishing when there is a constant passing around of the "hot potato" by millions across the world. They know fully well that in the end, society as a whole is not happier but they are playing the capitalist's game, and they are making $$$$$$$$ in the process, so it works out for them.

[wrecked]

My mental health had hit rock bottom. so I went to a therapist to discuss these problems. very uncomfortable conversation. she said honesty is very important in relationships and I would be cheating if I hid this. As for toxic people we agreed I should just cut them off. With family members she said I should tell them how I feel and stuff.



I feel artificial and like a fraud. Now my proportions bother me a lot more. 8cm feels like a bad decision. I have 0.74 femur:tibia ratio. Now I have also started to think my recovery isn't great (probably a mental negative feedback loop).


feels like a bad dream tbh. I hope others here can avoid this situation. especially the younger lot. Technology is getting better. I heard they will get newer nails soon. Have patience. Don't rush and tell people your "emotions" and your surgery plans. Practice stoicism. Never ever tell anyone your height problems. Just bottle them in (maybe go to a therapist if you want). Move away from family the first chance you get and work towards your dreams. If you never mention it and do moderate amounts I think you will get to keep the cake and eat it too.

[limby101]

Hey buddy
I think I can relate to your situation.
I guess it's an individual and every person have different personality and mental mindset, but I guess I'm also the type that would feel too bothered to feel fraud and the need to explain or justify my decisions, which basically driven by insecurity.
The thing is I got this insight while I was in the process, and however 5-6 cm seems wonderful, Im afraid I would never feel like I own this height and would actually embarrassed and try to hide it. I guess it's stupid but it's hard to change who we are.
That's why I went for a modest increase of 3 which puts me at least taller than most girls.

I think you shouldn't be bothered by proportions, it's one of those things no one ever notice and it's only in your head.
I actually had bow legs and I hated the way it looks, and just the other day I saw a picture of a celebrity Hollywood actress (from barby movie) and she actually has bowlegs and I guess shes totally unaware of it and she looks awesome and no body cares about the shape of her legs. it then really sinks in that we blow things out of proportions in our mind.

Perhaps you can tell your family members to change versions of your story and say you had a corrective surgery for a medical issue that by the way increased your height a little...
I also think that if you go to the gym and work out (a lot) to get bigger upper body, it can give the impression you got bigger rather than just longer, and it maybe can obscure you had surgery...

Good luck and try to stay positive

[lessthanavg8300]

My mental health had hit rock bottom. so I went to a therapist to discuss these problems. very uncomfortable conversation. she said honesty is very important in relationships and I would be cheating if I hid this. As for toxic people we agreed I should just cut them off. With family members she said I should tell them how I feel and stuff.



I feel artificial and like a fraud. Now my proportions bother me a lot more. 8cm feels like a bad decision. I have 0.74 femur:tibia ratio. Now I have also started to think my recovery isn't great (probably a mental negative feedback loop).


feels like a bad dream tbh. I hope others here can avoid this situation. especially the younger lot. Technology is getting better. I heard they will get newer nails soon. Have patience. Don't rush and tell people your "emotions" and your surgery plans. Practice stoicism. Never ever tell anyone your height problems. Just bottle them in (maybe go to a therapist if you want). Move away from family the first chance you get and work towards your dreams. If you never mention it and do moderate amounts I think you will get to keep the cake and eat it too.

If your femur:tibia ratio really is .74 then your proportions are absolutely fine.  You're within a normal range.  You must have started with short femurs to end up with that ratio after LL.