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Author Topic: word of advice about privacy - don't tell family  (Read 1678 times)

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questfor

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word of advice about privacy - don't tell family
« on: September 11, 2022, 04:58:12 AM »

hi guys

i am a 29 year old female, i did femoral LL here in the states and recovered well but want to give this piece of advice for those who wanna keep this procedure private

do not tell your family. if you have to tell someone, tell a distant friend, but not family for sure.

family members will talk with each other and it will never remain a secret. i am surprised how many people found out about my procedure because i told my sister. i told my sister and now my brother in law, my nephew, my grandma, my parents and some cousins know. i feel betrayed by my sister.

now they ask stupid questions all the time about this and they consider my bones 'fragile'. its super embarrassing. now the cat is out of the bag. i am considering telling my bf when we get serious because there is no other option (he will find out anyway)

if i had told a distant friend i could have easily cut ties with her and moved on, but with family, what do you do?
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shortisnotfun

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Re: word of advice about privacy - don't tell family
« Reply #1 on: September 11, 2022, 05:03:39 AM »

hi guys

i am a 29 year old female, i did femoral LL here in the states and recovered well but want to give this piece of advice for those who wanna keep this procedure private

do not tell your family. if you have to tell someone, tell a distant friend, but not family for sure.

family members will talk with each other and it will never remain a secret. i am surprised how many people found out about my procedure because i told my sister. i told my sister and now my brother in law, my nephew, my grandma, my parents and some cousins know. i feel betrayed by my sister.

now they ask stupid questions all the time about this and they consider my bones 'fragile'. its super embarrassing. now the cat is out of the bag. i am considering telling my bf when we get serious because there is no other option (he will find out anyway)

if i had told a distant friend i could have easily cut ties with her and moved on, but with family, what do you do?

I mean I'm 5'2.5 and looking to do 5 inches. So if all of a sudden I show up much taller they're gonna know something is up. I plan on blaming it on delayed puberty, but yes do not tell anyone you're doing this.
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http://www.limblengtheningforum.com/index.php?topic=85804.0

1team

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Re: word of advice about privacy - don't tell family
« Reply #2 on: September 11, 2022, 07:04:28 AM »

Did you tell your sister to keep it private? Also how much height did you gain?

The only real time family has to know is if you are a rich kid who has their parents pay for their LL, that's the trade off. Otherwise it's no one else's business.
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Limbfan2020

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Re: word of advice about privacy - don't tell family
« Reply #3 on: September 11, 2022, 08:00:14 AM »

Hi questfor,

did you do the lengthening with the Precice Nail? Didn't you meet your family during the whole lenghthening and consolidation phase?

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questfor

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Re: word of advice about privacy - don't tell family
« Reply #4 on: September 11, 2022, 08:58:06 AM »

hi i did stryde back in 2020. i took my sister's help (not financially but emotionally and she checked on me a few times after surgery). i met only my sister during my lengthening and recovery. i used my own money of course. i told her to not tell anyone. i had discussed this surgery with her a couple of years before (in 2018) itself when i was still deciding. i think she told people back then itself.

i understand it's not really her fault. her immediate family is closest to her and i am an outsider in the context of her immediate family. it was my fault for assuming that anyone would keep a secret like this.

in hindsight i could have easily hired some help, lied that i was going abroad and done it all alone. if i really needed some emotional support i could have told a therapist or a random friend.

i gained 2 inches . if i had never told anyone, i could have easily hidden it.

i regret this mistake every day. silly mistake but costly one.

this is hard enough to deal as a female (because being a bit insecure about appearance is considered more 'normal') but i understand most of you are men. so be careful who you tell.
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TheDream

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Re: word of advice about privacy - don't tell family
« Reply #5 on: September 11, 2022, 09:41:22 AM »

If you tell someone they will talk about it to someone else. Probably multiple people close to them.
Those people will then tell even more people, especially as soon as your name comes up.
This is inevitable. Eventually everyone will know.
Only way to keep it secret is to never tell a soul.

Or to talk about it with someone who has no links to your social world.
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boklecrt

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Re: word of advice about privacy - don't tell family
« Reply #6 on: September 11, 2022, 12:06:58 PM »

hi guys

i am a 29 year old female, i did femoral LL here in the states and recovered well but want to give this piece of advice for those who wanna keep this procedure private

do not tell your family. if you have to tell someone, tell a distant friend, but not family for sure.

family members will talk with each other and it will never remain a secret. i am surprised how many people found out about my procedure because i told my sister. i told my sister and now my brother in law, my nephew, my grandma, my parents and some cousins know. i feel betrayed by my sister.

now they ask stupid questions all the time about this and they consider my bones 'fragile'. its super embarrassing. now the cat is out of the bag. i am considering telling my bf when we get serious because there is no other option (he will find out anyway)

if i had told a distant friend i could have easily cut ties with her and moved on, but with family, what do you do?


ultimate betrayal by the blabbermouth sister. she wanted to observe some drama at your expense. id say tread carefully when it comes to your future sibling relationship with her
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questfor

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Re: word of advice about privacy - don't tell family
« Reply #7 on: September 11, 2022, 02:40:03 PM »


ultimate betrayal by the blabbermouth sister. she wanted to observe some drama at your expense. id say tread carefully when it comes to your future sibling relationship with her

she is actually very dear to me but my guess is (and she admits now) that she forgetfully mentioned it in front of her immediate family (husband and child). i don't want to blame it on her. the stupidity is mine and mine alone. others cannot understand what this surgery means to some of us. and once people get married and have kids, that becomes 70% of their world and others become 'extended' family in a way. also since i took a little of her help during lengthening, she must have explained something vague to her husband back then. my mistake all the way.

i can imagine that the stigma would be much worse for males. i respect those who can own their decision and stand proud but i am not fond of a stupid quality of attention over this.

as meticulous as i am, i can't believe i missed such an important aspect of this procedure
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Medium Drink Of Water

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Re: word of advice about privacy - don't tell family
« Reply #8 on: September 11, 2022, 08:12:00 PM »

I concur with this.  My mom blabbed to a bunch of other family members WHO I DIDN'T EVEN SEE VERY OFTEN.  I could've lied and gotten away with it since I looked young for my age and a late growth spurt would've been believable.  It was for the other side of the family.  They still have no idea.

Trust noone, tell noone.
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lessthanavg8300

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Re: word of advice about privacy - don't tell family
« Reply #9 on: September 15, 2022, 02:15:45 PM »

How did you honestly expect to keep this private in the first place unless you did a very small amount of lengthening.  Even 2 inches is pretty noticeable.  Anything over and its obvious.
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Gained 3.2CM on femurs for a final height of 5'8.5-5'8.75.

Polvorón

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Re: word of advice about privacy - don't tell family
« Reply #10 on: September 15, 2022, 05:12:42 PM »

now they ask stupid questions all the time about this and they consider my bones 'fragile'. its super embarrassing. now the cat is out of the bag. i am considering telling my bf when we get serious because there is no other option (he will find out anyway)
Be proud of you, don't let other people say that. You got this surgery because you though that it would improve your live, so they must accept that. It's your life and your body, not theirs.

If your BF loves you, he will always support you.

Cosmetic surgery is good, it helps people to have the body that they want.

Most of them could be admiring tall people all the time, people who have this surgery done have their reasons.
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Note: at this moment I'm only a "pretender", I want to know more about this interesting procedure. Hopping to become 185 cm (6'1'') from 174 cm (5'8 ½''), but it is too expensive.
My sitting height is 92½ - 94 cm (36''½ 37''), my length of legs is 81 cm (32'') and my armspan is 180 cm (70'' 7/8).

ten

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Re: word of advice about privacy - don't tell family
« Reply #11 on: September 16, 2022, 07:42:39 AM »

How did you honestly expect to keep this private in the first place unless you did a very small amount of lengthening.  Even 2 inches is pretty noticeable.  Anything over and its obvious.

2-3 inches is noticeable but you can hide it if you never mention this surger and meet no one during recovery I think

Without stryde I think its hard to do this alone though.
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lessthanavg8300

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Re: word of advice about privacy - don't tell family
« Reply #12 on: September 16, 2022, 01:13:36 PM »

1 inch - you can hide it no problem

2 inches - you have a chance but people your height who are family members will probably notice especially your immediate parents

3 inches - no shot.  You are much taller.


I dont think people really understand how much difference 2 inches makes let alone 3.  With 3 inches youre basically looking over your former selfs head.
« Last Edit: September 16, 2022, 02:03:45 PM by lessthanavg8300 »
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Gained 3.2CM on femurs for a final height of 5'8.5-5'8.75.

readyprecisestryde

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Re: word of advice about privacy - don't tell family
« Reply #13 on: September 20, 2022, 06:21:04 AM »

I gained 3 inches in height and several people made comment about it but most people don't notice it. I did not tell anyone about it and glad I kept it to myself.
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lessthanavg8300

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Re: word of advice about privacy - don't tell family
« Reply #14 on: September 20, 2022, 01:08:36 PM »

Even your close relatives didnt notice?

What height did you start with and go to?
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Gained 3.2CM on femurs for a final height of 5'8.5-5'8.75.

ll.patient

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Re: word of advice about privacy - don't tell family
« Reply #15 on: May 28, 2023, 12:28:53 PM »

My closest relatives need to know for a particular reason, but rest dind't. I don't live in same country of them

I can tell 2 noticed that Im taller, I told was the shoes I was using

My friends who also didn't see me long time didn't notice. One after a time noticed, I also blamed the shoes. Others noticed something was different but couldnt tell why, asked me if I did fillers.

I think this is something you can hide, and you should as much as possible. People might find odd at first, but then will just get used to

It is not a known surgery, so for the moment people think its impossible, so they will accept whatever you blame as the reason you look taller
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junior006

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Re: word of advice about privacy - don't tell family
« Reply #16 on: May 31, 2023, 06:24:00 AM »

1 can turn into 2. 2 to 4, 4 to 8, and so on. you have the option of cutting ties if they continually bring it up and embarrass you. let them know beforehand you are uncomfortable with people knowing, they genuinely might not understand.
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BelowTheMean

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Re: word of advice about privacy - don't tell family
« Reply #17 on: June 16, 2023, 12:22:58 AM »

I knew people would talk, so I never told anyone. Whoever made a comment about it I would just deny and gaslight. No one I knew from before can prove that I did it ;)

Also I moved after I did it and I have a mostly new circle of friends, so that helps. The only people who I still hang out with from before are cool (or self-aware) enough not to even bring it up.
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Stryde Femurs - Debiparshad - Nov 2020
Nail Removal - Downey - Apr 2022
Journal (169cm -> 177cm) http://www.limblengtheningforum.com/index.php?topic=65617

Current Status: Recovered, moving on
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