Hi all,
I have surgery booked in with Betz in September 2022.
I thought I would prepare a diary in order to share my story, thoughts, feelings, journey and learnings along the way (with the idea that they may help someone else).
If you have questions, please send me a DM and i will try to answer, just to there is somewhat of a consistent flow of my posts vs off topic discussion.
If you have advice of the back of a particular topic, please post below so that it has a chronological order that can help people (including myself).
Days from surgery - Minus 10
About myself:
- 173cm
- Australian (most people, especially newer generation, are very tall here, often 180cm) from Melbourne.
- Early 30's
- I have done very well career wise for my age. The money for the surgery is huge (& will hurt my bank) but it will not set me back long-term in my financial goals as i already own an apartment which is 60-70% paid off, have a few small online businesses and will be maybe 7 months post tax salary for me. I also think my next job will be around 1.5x - 2x this salary so in tomorrow's money it is not as much. I do worry about interest rates going up though as I am using this money from excess mortgage that i have paid down already.
- I currently work in the office 75% of the month (we have to at minimum).
- I have a girlfriend who lives with me.
- I have a long upper body and shortish lower body. I am relatively muscular but don't do much cardio or sports, just mostly upper body weights but am flexible.
Why do the surgery:
- I have always had bad height neurosis, ever since high school. I was around my height tall in year 7-8 but everyone outgrew me from year 8 onwards. I started wearing thick shoes, shoe lifts. This made me embarrassed to take off my shoes which meant i avoided beaches, peoples houses where i had to take off shoes and even around the home by myself i would wear shoe lifts in my inside shoes. Whenever i went somewhere i compared my height and it was literally always on my mind, like a cancer eating away at my happiness.
- My father is taller than me and my cousins are all 6 foot 2 or above. It is embarrassing going to family events.
- I have always researched from a young age how to get taller. There are a lot of things that don't work which are advertised, like drinking milk,
Why Betz
- Only remaining weight bearing nail in market.
- Ability to do lengthening process from my home country.
- Recent journals in the last 2-3 years have all been overwhelmingly positive with great outcomes. I had some serious concerns about earlier journals but it seems like he has improved his nail material, improved his surgery technique (with very clean breaks and being more conservative now on rates of lengthening), has a new assistant doctor (who might be bringing a fresh and youthful perspective on the above matters) and Betz is even now doing ITB releases, which he was not doing previously. I think all of these factors are leading to some really good outcomes, but i am still very nervous about this as it is a major surgery. Am i crazy for wanting to do this? I would never tell another person in real life about this, i know for sure they would think i am crazy, especially since i hide my real height.
- Initially i wanted to do tibia lengthening, as i communicated before i think my tibias look shortest (albeit my whole lower body is much shorter than upper body). But after doing more research i realised this surgery was quite risky, couldn't lengthen as long and Betz was known for Femurs. Whilst i would still prefer longer tibias i have decided the most practical approach is to do femur lengthening.
- The advice of others is not to target a specific length, rather to aim for a conservative number, listen to your body and if you are performing well to do more. The length recommended to stay under is 8cm. Personally if i got 7cm i would be incredibly happy. It is a good number, would get to me to 180cm and is under the 8cm danger mark. That being said if i need to stop at 6cm i would also be ok with this and also if things are going great, then i am also ok to push to 8cm, but not more than that.
The booking / surgery planning
- I booked the trip several months ago, i cant remember exactly, maybe 9 months ago. I wanted to have my lengthening completed by Christmas so i could be ok when i see family and go into 2023 a new man. July or August would have been ideal but the earliest i could do was September.
- The strategy is for me to spend 3 weeks with betz (i booked 3 weeks of leave), fly back, and communicate to my work at this point in time that i will need to work from home, spend 3 months (or ideally less) lengthening whilst working from home, and then maybe for consolidation start going back into the office everyday.
How i am feeling / mental preparation
- I have been relatively nonchalant going into the process (didn't seem quite real) up until about 3 weeks ago , when it started becoming more real by the day. I have been madly researching previous diaries, trying to learn as much as possible, visualise every step of the trip and every question or problem that might arise. To be honest i am probably still unprepared. I don't think i can properly comprehend what i am getting into until i actually arrive. That being said, logically i know this is something that i need to do, but emotionally i am absolutely terrified. I am afraid of making the wrong decision, the huge guilt of what i am putting my girlfriend through, of lying to people about the surgery, of the upcoming pain and huge inconvenience to my life that will come up, what if severely impact my career/work/reputation, what if someone finds out. What if i have a physical issue like non-consolidation, pre consolidation, or have a nail or screw break and have to fly back.
- I am dreading the 3 week process, including the flights, the surgery, the pain, being away from friends and family. But i know once i get past this 3 week process things will only get better from there. It is like a V shape, where it is at its worst initially, then a long steady improvement, and then for the rest of remaining 50-70 years of my life will be significantly better than my life before (i.e. removing neurosis)
- If anyone has any supporting advice or went through the same thing but now they are really glad they made the decision, please let me know, it will be helpful and reduce the chance that i don't freak out at the last minute and pull out.
- I also haven't paid yet but will need to pay next week, so i am also worried about making the payment, then pulling out, whether i can get this money back. But i am trying to see it through for a better life for me long-term.
That's all i've got for this post, but i am not flying out for another week, so i am starting quite early. I will try and keep this updated with a greater level of detail than i have seen in other posts.