I hope I don't come across as a giant with this post in this forum, because I'm not. And I hope you take my thoughts seriously. I don't know of any other place on the internet where you can talk openly about this topic, so here it is.
This is not about me, I feel fine with my height of 5'10" (178cm). It's about my relationship, genetics, future children and the happiness of them.
I treat every person out there nicely and with respect, unfortunately most of the world is not like that. I know it can be very hard in life for very short men. I hear this, observe it and read many reports on the internet about it.
If you are honest, heightism is the only form of discrimination that is still tolerated almost everywhere. Make a racist, sxxist, homophonic slur and you can lose your job, make it about a man's height and it's funny. I am aware of the subject, but now to my topic:
When I met my girlfriend (5'1" 155cm average height for girls in her country) almost 3 years ago, I did not think for a second about the topic of height. No problem for me, she is an enormously attractive and kind-hearted woman. But now, with the thought of a future family with (maybe male) children, the thought has settled in my head.
I have to say that I am from Europe and she is from Latin America (Chile). I worked there for a while and met her in this time. We lived together in her country and in mine. It's still had a long distance relationship, but without major problems.
The people in her country are all much shorter on average than in mine. What shocked me a bit on my last visit there in October 2021 were her two brothers, which I have not seen in 2 years (she traveled to my country in this time). One is 16yo, the other one 21yo and neither are appreciably taller than her, maybe 5'3" at absolute best 5'4" (160-163cm). Both are shorter than their father, who should be about 5'6" (169cm+-) (parents live apart, I couldn't see him the last time I went there).Their mother is shorter than my girlfriend, maybe 4'11" (149cm) and her grandma shorter again, maybe 4'8"/9" (143cm). I don't know for sure I didn't measure of course.
All are very kind people and I treat them with the utmost respect.
Nevertheless, I must say that men with the height of her brothers do not really exist in my country. And this is what scares me when I think of a future family with children and we may have a son who could inherits the genes more from her side. Personally, I don't care how tall my son will be to be honest, but he will care I guess. And you want to see your children happy.
It sucks hard, b a man who is 5'3" certainly doesn't have it easy in my country, he will be shorter than every guy and nearly most girls. So I have a lot of concerns about my potential children's happiness, especially if it's a boy. I see our future, if there is one, in my country as well.
This thought is killing me mentally for a long time, I feel really bad about it. Am I overreacting? What do you think?
Besides, I can't talk to her openly about the subject either, because I don't want to hurt her or her family. On the other hand, she recently told me about a friend of her who is very unhappy because he has a hard time finding a partner in Chile since he is short. It put me down, I know him, he's a great guy. If he struggles to find a partner in Latin America because of his height, how is that supposed to be in my country where people are far taller?
It makes me sad, angry and desperate that I even have to think about this topic and that it's a problem, but it's a tough and unkind world out there.