WARNING: TOPIC INCLUDES SUICIDAL IDEATION
I really dont want to trigger anyone struggling, so please click off if you don't want to see that topic. I want to preface this with saying this is my battle, it does not need to be yours. If you are feeling the same way as me, please reach out for help. Dont be like me.
With that out of the way, I'm just gonna be upfront. I'm 5'6 (my medical paperwork says 5'7", I dont know why but haven't bothered to measure myself in many, many years, too painful.) I lift weights a lot. Has done nothing for me. I go on a first date, never a second. The only person I've been with for a significant time was 4'11, and women that small are rare, and even they want someone approaching 6'. My hatred of my body has resulted in attempted suicide, and frankly I'm thinking LL might be the only way I can escape a second attempt that I have much better planned out. I just got back from yet another tinder date.
My neurosis and dysmorphoa is beyond extreme. I am 100% convinced that most of my failings in life in both love and profession is due to this disability, the only disability you can openly mock on television, in person, to someone's face, and no one bats an eye, in fact they usually laugh. I'm hard of hearing too. That's called a "disability". People accommodate for it. The difference between that and my height is so astronomically far away from each other I cannot over state it. My hearing hasn't stopped me from anything. My height is a problem every single day of my life in every single situation. I refuse to get a mail order bride or prey on women in 3rd world counties, I'm just not going to do it. This is kind of my last ditch effort.
I looked around for a comprehensive FAQ but didn't find one, but if I missed it, please link it to me and I'd be happy to read it.
I'm hoping for 3". I've read that the usual 1mm a day is detrimental and that .66mm a day is much safer and results in less complications. After that, I'll be wearing 2 or 3" lifts. Time is not an issue. Physical pain during the procedure is not an issue. My only issuse are that I'm afraid lasting chronic pain, as I can tolerate pain if i know it will end at some point, never being able to run or do weighted squats again, or other complcations, as well as money, because as I've said, it's effected my work life because I dont get treated like an adult, so cost is another big factor. I dont want to fk it up and get a bottom of the barrel "doctor" who will break your legs for you in an ally, stretch em out for you and send you on your way, but I also definitely cannot afford the exorbitant USA prices.
What is the safest method? I dont care how long it will take. How cheaply can I do it without having to resort to a quack? What does "full recovery" look like, and is it even possible? Weight lifting means a lot to me, and it would be quite a loss if I can't do barbell squats anymore, but if I need to sacrifice that then fine.