Hi y'all
I'm doing femurs at Betz next week, and I am pretty excited. There are a million reasons I have chosen to do LLS, and will probably post a dairy once I get settled in St. Ingert. In this post, I want to hear peoples experiences in dating and women in general before and after LLS.
I've read some of the threads here on this topic, but there seem to be a lot of guys thinking that height doesn't matter. But the science and the evidence seem to speak to the contrary.
I've read studies that say on average men have to be at least 5 cm taller than a woman for her to be attracted to him. These studies also show that women on average are attracted to men that are 5-12cm taller than them, and the attractiveness increases the closer the height difference is to 12cm. The same studies show that the returns are diminishing above 12cm though, which to be frank is very interesting.
Remember that these are on average and there will as with everything else always be outliers (we will come back to this later). Some women in my experience don't even care about height. My last three ex girlfriends where all around 2-8cm taller than me, so I have a lot of personal experience in this field. On the other hand being shorter than the woman is an automatic disqualifier for most. So remember that 5-12cm seems to be where you will have the best odds when it comes to women.
This means if you are 165cm like me, on average most women outside of the range 153cm - 160cm would not be attracted to me. This fact is made even worse when you look at the average height of women in Scandinavia (where I live) is 167cm. So just looking at the statistics alone (not even accounting for looks, charisma, personal preference, job and career, wealth level, social status, personality and confidence etc etc), for me walking into a room with ten women I would right of the bat because of my height be disregarded by 8-9 of them.
Being short just stacks the numbers heavily against you. It is just simple fact people!
I've read so many times here things like "if you're good looking and have game, women don't care about height bla bla bla". I am sorry, but that just isn't true, and your personal incredulity does not agree with the studies done on the subject. Most if not all, show the exact opposite.
I am not saying this to make my self seem better or to stomp on anybody, so I do apologize in advance for the picture I am going to paint about my self.
I am in fact a handsome man that dresses well, has some charm, has a high status and well paying job, knows how to talk to women and has a good level of confidence. I also try to be as humble as possbile, and yes - all of those things above I do agree with, but these are things I have for the longest time heard from women. And I have had long relationships with the mentioned above women who all where great looking.
So if I supposedly check off all the boxes required to be a "chick magnet", why do I still struggle with women? WHY? Could it be my height? And let me be clear, yes I've dated plenty of pretty women. But the number of rejections or "you're cute but" I've had to go through to get those women is no joke. Friends of mine with similar qualities (also counting looks) that are 5-15cm taller than me have much easier success though.
It is also a very long time ago since women actively chased me. And when I start looking at the numbers, the studies on height vs attractiveness seems to fit with my own experience.
To say that I've had to try to court around 10 women to find one that may show just some interest seems to be inline with my own experience. I am now in my mid 30s and I have to say that attracting women has become increasingly harder the older I've gotten. And this seems to fly in the face of common knowledge such as "the more status the more attractive a woman will find you" or "the more confidence you get the more attractive women will find you" or "women like men who are older than them" or "the better shape you are in, the more attractive women will find you" "insert just about any known attractor" and my "stats" would suggest that my dating life should just get better and better. In reality though, it has gotten harder and harder.
All of this is true, and yet it has not made my dating life easier - my dating life has gotten harder with age. I have a hypothesis to why though. But you will need some background to get the full picture.
In my teens I hooked up with girls all the time, and many of them where hot as hell and I was also super picky back then as well. Many of them even after a few kids are still stunning. Met this girls last summer at a bar (randomly) I dated when I was 18. And the she looked even hotter today. I was shocked at my self and thought "damn, how was I able to get so many more hot women before? And not anymore?". When I look at my dating life, the number of hot women dated and hooked up with has decreased as I've gotten older while the work load has gotten a lot heavier.
How could this be? It makes no sense. First of, I dressed like a slob back then, I had okay confidence but I had no idea how to talk to women. Thinking about how bad I actually was with women makes me wonder how I got any women at all. I remember this beautiful girl I was talking to on text, she seemed into me. But when we met at a party a few weeks later I didn't even dare talk to her, and when I did I was just awkward. It just makes so little sense all of it when comparing my "game" then to my "game" now.
I had several women and girls chasing me at times, so it just makes my head hurt thinking about it. From my 15 or 20 or even 25 year old perspective I totally understand why people would write here that "height doesn't matter if you are good looking etc". Because at certain age it doesn't or DOES IT??
Because this is where my hypothesis comes into play. Here it goes, and it's quite simple:
Women and girls where much more attracted to me when I was younger because I have been the same height since I was 12 (165cm) and through most of my teens I was average height for a male. Thinking about it most of the girls I hooked up with where shorter than me which makes perfect sense when considering the age. This also explains why things got harder because not only did these women grow taller (most of them taller than me according to the statistics), but my competition also (other men) grew to new heights while I stayed at the same 165cm. I think considering all the factors mentioned here, this makes a lot of sense. What do you guys think?
I made this analogy to a friend of mine today that in my mind illustrates it perfectly, imagine I was an attacking footballer on Fifa, my stats would be pretty good overall - but ball control would be well below average. That just ruins everything, makes the player unplayable. This is how I look at the being 165cm at my age where I live. For most women it's a non-starter.
As I said I am doing LLS for many different reasons, but I have to say that I also now look at this as an extremely interesting experiment. I am pretty confident that my dating life will become very different, because just like in my teens my new height will make the dating pool a lot bigger. At this point it is just simple statistics, and the numbers are going to stack much more in my favor.
I am 165cm tall now, and I am planning to go as high as possible with the Betzbone. How tall will ultimately be down to how my body reacts and the levels of pain. But I am VERY motivated to go 12cm if possible, which would put me at 177cm tall - or just below average (179cm for males in Scandinavia).
At 177cm that also puts me at the upper threshold of attractivness and the average woman (here) at 167cm. My height will make me attractive to women between below 165cm and 172cm. Walking back into that metaphorical room with those 10 women, my new height should instead of on average being a disqualifier for 8-9 of them. It should now potentially be an issue for 1 or maybe non.
Attractiveness is biological and most women (or men) don't even know why they are attracted to some one. The last year I've spoken extensively with a female friend about this. She has a background in medicine and has explained me the biology of this, and and attractiveness to taller men is subconscious. I edited som pics of me standing to next male and female friends where I stood 12cm taller and showed her. Her response was quite interesting, she said:
"I've known you for ten years, and I know these pictures are edited. I also understand the psychology behind this, but there is no doubt that looking at the non edited and edited photos back to back - you look more attractive when taller. Not only that, you look happier and more confident. It's kinda fking with my mind a bit"
I just found that reaction so very interesting and insightful.
I am planning on dating this summer and reporting back if my new height makes a difference and how much.
Lastly, If I am only able to do 7 or 8cm I may still be satisfied. Or I may just go for Tibias in the future. I will have to see and take it one millimeter at a time.
Thanks for reading the whole way through, I know this was long - but I really do appreciate it!
|| Stand taller ||
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Topic: Dating after height gain - what is your expereince? (Read 3723 times)