Limb Lengthening Forum

Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  
Pages: [1]   Go Down

Author Topic: How did you tell loved ones?  (Read 888 times)

0 Members and 2 Guests are viewing this topic.

Llentt90

  • Visitor
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 8
How did you tell loved ones?
« on: September 15, 2021, 04:54:27 AM »

Hi all,

After doing some extensive research I am pretty sure I’m going to be doing CLL with Dr Debiparshad once Stryde comes back, hoping to go from 168 cm to 176 cm. I realize that for obvious reasons people who do this surgery don’t tell anyone before hand but I am sure there are cases where it’s inevitable.

I am in a serious long term relationship with someone I live with so there’s no way around doing this without telling them beforehand. She is about 3 inches shorter than me and has never had any issues with my height although she knows I’m self conscious about my height, so I am anticipating that she will be pretty against it. We have talked about the surgery before (ie me mentioning that I saw an article where people got this type of surgery), but I’ve never mentioned that I have considered it. In fact once I joked that if she got a BBL I would get CLL, she had a laugh at that.

So to people who have done this before and had to discuss it with your partner beforehand, how did you tell them? How did they react?
Logged

ilovescience

  • Sr. Member
  • ***
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1013
Re: How did you tell loved ones?
« Reply #1 on: September 15, 2021, 05:03:58 AM »

Hi all,

After doing some extensive research I am pretty sure I’m going to be doing CLL with Dr Debiparshad once Stryde comes back, hoping to go from 168 cm to 176 cm. I realize that for obvious reasons people who do this surgery don’t tell anyone before hand but I am sure there are cases where it’s inevitable.

I am in a serious long term relationship with someone I live with so there’s no way around doing this without telling them beforehand. She is about 3 inches shorter than me and has never had any issues with my height although she knows I’m self conscious about my height, so I am anticipating that she will be pretty against it. We have talked about the surgery before (ie me mentioning that I saw an article where people got this type of surgery), but I’ve never mentioned that I have considered it. In fact once I joked that if she got a BBL I would get CLL, she had a laugh at that.

So to people who have done this before and had to discuss it with your partner beforehand, how did you tell them? How did they react?

How old are you now? If you got it done and felt uncomfortable telling your girlfriend that you done LL, just tell her that: I grew a few inches taller recently, because I slept before 10PM and did some stretching exercises as well as playing basketball. Now I am 5'9.

By the way, 168cm isn't too bad, it's about 5'6 and a half. Wear some thick shoes and you would look almost 5'8.
Logged

DonBones

  • Full Member
  • **
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 236
Re: How did you tell loved ones?
« Reply #2 on: September 15, 2021, 05:57:32 AM »

Hi all,

After doing some extensive research I am pretty sure I’m going to be doing CLL with Dr Debiparshad once Stryde comes back, hoping to go from 168 cm to 176 cm. I realize that for obvious reasons people who do this surgery don’t tell anyone before hand but I am sure there are cases where it’s inevitable.

I am in a serious long term relationship with someone I live with so there’s no way around doing this without telling them beforehand. She is about 3 inches shorter than me and has never had any issues with my height although she knows I’m self conscious about my height, so I am anticipating that she will be pretty against it. We have talked about the surgery before (ie me mentioning that I saw an article where people got this type of surgery), but I’ve never mentioned that I have considered it. In fact once I joked that if she got a BBL I would get CLL, she had a laugh at that.

So to people who have done this before and had to discuss it with your partner beforehand, how did you tell them? How did they react?

I told my wife and at first she was shocked and told me this is some crazy sh*. And honestly, to some degree I thought she's right. That is why I explained to her how I ended up, mentally, in the situation in which I feel compelled to do it. This means I showed my vulnerable side and let her in on the part of my life where I took some damage. Let's be honest, we don't end up doing LL just because we want a few extra inches. This is first and foremost a mental problem we are solving here - we want to be free, we want to be confident, we want to live our lives without fear and without a rock that somehow got tied to our feet a long time ago. Is LL a cosmetic procedure? I am not so sure. I think for many of us it is much more than that. The benefits go way beyond just a few inches in extra height. Who knows, a more confident you may be more successful at work which may result in a better income for your family.

When my wife saw the bigger picture she came onboard. If someone truly loves you they don't want you to hurt yourself so they will oppose any cosmetic procedure that involves breaking legs, but when you explain that the procedure isn't quite as cosmetic as it looks on first glance and that there are more profound issues to be solved, her opinion will be more well-rounded and more in your favour because she also wants you to be happy.

So what you need is a frank faceup conversation about why you feel the way you feel, that is the important bit. Why do you have a problem and why do you feel strongly about fixing it. There must be a very good reason and if your partner loves you then she will understand. If, however, you beat around the bush and tell her some BS like you grew "a few inches because you went to bed before 10PM", you might disappoint her twice, once for taking her for an utter idiot and then for lying to her about something as serious as this. This procedure is very tough, what you need is support and what you definitely do not need is drama with your partner. Trust me, I saw people in the hospital who spent days contemplating what they will tell their parents when they get discharged from hospital because he did it in secret. When the day finally arrived, there were a lot of tears and a lot of fear and also regret.

Be honest with her, it will be worth it.
Logged
First Surgery - Prof Betz - 28th July 2021 🇩🇪
Nail Removal - Dr Becker - 13th December 2023 🇩🇪
Lengthened: 5.00cm
Height: 180cm
Current Phase: Enjoying New Height :)

ilovescience

  • Sr. Member
  • ***
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1013
Re: How did you tell loved ones?
« Reply #3 on: September 15, 2021, 06:01:56 AM »

I told my wife and at first she was shocked and told me this is some crazy sh*. And honestly, to some degree I thought she's right. That is why I explained to her how I ended up, mentally, in the situation in which I feel compelled to do it. This means I showed my vulnerable side and let her in on the part of my life where I took some damage. Let's be honest, we don't end up doing LL just because we want a few extra inches. This is first and foremost a mental problem we are solving here - we want to be free, we want to be confident, we want to live our lives without fear and without a rock that somehow got tied to our feet a long time ago. Is LL a cosmetic procedure? I am not so sure. I think for many of us it is much more than that. The benefits go way beyond just a few inches in extra height. Who knows, a more confident you may be more successful at work which may result in a better income for your family.

When my wife saw the bigger picture she came onboard. If someone truly loves you they don't want you to hurt yourself so they will oppose any cosmetic procedure that involves breaking legs, but when you explain that the procedure isn't quite as cosmetic as it looks on first glance and that there are more profound issues to be solved, her opinion will be more well-rounded and more in your favour because she also wants you to be happy.

So what you need is a frank faceup conversation about why you feel the way you feel, that is the important bit. Why do you have a problem and why do you feel strongly about fixing it. There must be a very good reason and if your partner loves you then she will understand. If, however, you beat around the bush and tell her some BS like you grew "a few inches because you went to bed before 10PM", you might disappoint her twice, once for taking her for an utter idiot and then for lying to her about something as serious as this. This procedure is very tough, what you need is support and definitely no drama with your partner. Be honest with her, it will be worth it.

I understood you. But what if wife wants to file a divorce or break up with you because of the LL she couldn't accept? Sometimes some people might not accept it.
Logged

DonBones

  • Full Member
  • **
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 236
Re: How did you tell loved ones?
« Reply #4 on: September 15, 2021, 06:07:16 AM »

I understood you. But what if wife wants to file a divorce or break up with you because of the LL she couldn't accept? Sometimes some people might not accept it.

A loving wife / girlfriend who wants you to be happy and who is able to appreciate what you are going through will support you. Seven of the ten patients I met in Germany plus one patient from Australia I was in contact with had wives or girlfriends. In fact, two of the three who were single were sixteen and eighteen years old, a bit too young for anything serious anyway. And no one had to get divorced either :)
Logged
First Surgery - Prof Betz - 28th July 2021 🇩🇪
Nail Removal - Dr Becker - 13th December 2023 🇩🇪
Lengthened: 5.00cm
Height: 180cm
Current Phase: Enjoying New Height :)

Shatter. Gee. 11

  • Jr. Member
  • *
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 157
Re: How did you tell loved ones?
« Reply #5 on: September 15, 2021, 07:27:20 AM »

I won't tell anyone. I actually will have to move to a different state anyway for 2-3 years. I plan on getting it din then. Doable I believe.
Logged
Height now 166 cm
Desired Height 177 cm

Plan- LON tibia 6 cm, LON femur 5 cm

Llentt90

  • Visitor
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 8
Re: How did you tell loved ones?
« Reply #6 on: September 15, 2021, 04:06:58 PM »

I told my wife and at first she was shocked and told me this is some crazy sh*. And honestly, to some degree I thought she's right. That is why I explained to her how I ended up, mentally, in the situation in which I feel compelled to do it. This means I showed my vulnerable side and let her in on the part of my life where I took some damage. Let's be honest, we don't end up doing LL just because we want a few extra inches. This is first and foremost a mental problem we are solving here - we want to be free, we want to be confident, we want to live our lives without fear and without a rock that somehow got tied to our feet a long time ago. Is LL a cosmetic procedure? I am not so sure. I think for many of us it is much more than that. The benefits go way beyond just a few inches in extra height. Who knows, a more confident you may be more successful at work which may result in a better income for your family.

When my wife saw the bigger picture she came onboard. If someone truly loves you they don't want you to hurt yourself so they will oppose any cosmetic procedure that involves breaking legs, but when you explain that the procedure isn't quite as cosmetic as it looks on first glance and that there are more profound issues to be solved, her opinion will be more well-rounded and more in your favour because she also wants you to be happy.

So what you need is a frank faceup conversation about why you feel the way you feel, that is the important bit. Why do you have a problem and why do you feel strongly about fixing it. There must be a very good reason and if your partner loves you then she will understand. If, however, you beat around the bush and tell her some BS like you grew "a few inches because you went to bed before 10PM", you might disappoint her twice, once for taking her for an utter idiot and then for lying to her about something as serious as this. This procedure is very tough, what you need is support and what you definitely do not need is drama with your partner. Trust me, I saw people in the hospital who spent days contemplating what they will tell their parents when they get discharged from hospital because he did it in secret. When the day finally arrived, there were a lot of tears and a lot of fear and also regret.

Be honest with her, it will be worth it.

Hey DonBones,

Thank for the advice, I appreciate it. How is your journey so far with Betz? I have actually considered him some too in case Stryde takes too long to comeback. Only issue is I am in the US.
Logged

DonBones

  • Full Member
  • **
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 236
Re: How did you tell loved ones?
« Reply #7 on: September 15, 2021, 06:23:14 PM »

Hey DonBones,

Thank for the advice, I appreciate it. How is your journey so far with Betz? I have actually considered him some too in case Stryde takes too long to comeback. Only issue is I am in the US.

Hey,

so far so good. I am at 4.2cm at this point, meaning that I should be able to reach my lengthening goal next week if all goes well.

In my case everything went smoothly so far. The clicking was fairly easy from the start and got even better after about 3cm, so that now it's a matter of 5 minutes per day for both legs. The X-Ray was good, showing callus, a perfectly aligned nail and all screws tightly in place. My walk is slightly wide, but both Betz and Peter Woll, my physiotherapist, told me that considering I am at an advanced stage it's still very good.

So on the whole I can't complain, but I will reserve my final verdict until I am actually done :)

It's actually no problem that you're from the US. There were two patients from the US while I was there, and even someone from Nigeria. I'd recommend you stay in Germany for a few weeks after the hospital, however, to make sure you can click confidently and there are no problems that need immediate attention from Betz because once you're back in the US seeing Betz will be difficult.

I personally spent time at Elke's guesthouse before the hospital and then the Parkhotel Weiskirchen after the hospital and have to say the Parkhotel is better because they have a gym, a pool, a park where you can walk and a big facility where you can book a massage or a lymphatic drainage. It is also very close to Peter Woll who I strongly recommend you see before you go out into the wild because he is an extremely experienced physiotherapist who has seen hundreds if not thousands of LL patients. He has a sharp eye for what you will have to focus on and advice on how to work on your weaknesses.

In case you are interested in the financial matters, it came to around 60000€ / $70000 for everything so far :)

Of course, also read all diaries of the current patients. It will give you a more well rounded view, particularly on topics like clicking, which can vary in terms of difficulty and pain. Perhaps I will also write my own diary or review at some point soon.

Good luck!
Logged
First Surgery - Prof Betz - 28th July 2021 🇩🇪
Nail Removal - Dr Becker - 13th December 2023 🇩🇪
Lengthened: 5.00cm
Height: 180cm
Current Phase: Enjoying New Height :)

Body Builder

  • Sr. Member
  • ***
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1950
Re: How did you tell loved ones?
« Reply #8 on: September 15, 2021, 06:37:47 PM »

I told my then gf that I wanted to become taller and LL is something I planed to do and I will do it at all costs as I wasn't happy with my height. She was ok with that, she was just afraid that all this time with a so massive surgery will harm our relationship.
She was right as we broke up 1-2 months before I removed my frames.
And she was the one and only girl that knew about my LL. Nonother gf I had never learned anything about it and it is something that I will keep it confidential to anyone (except my parents and 2 very close friends of them) till I die.
Logged

Xx_Gaylord1337_xX

  • Newbie
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 47
Re: How did you tell loved ones?
« Reply #9 on: September 15, 2021, 06:43:27 PM »

I told my then gf that I wanted to become taller and LL is something I planed to do and I will do it at all costs as I wasn't happy with my height. She was ok with that, she was just afraid that all this time with a so massive surgery will harm our relationship.
She was right as we broke up 1-2 months before I removed my frames.
And she was the one and only girl that knew about my LL. Nonother gf I had never learned anything about it and it is something that I will keep it confidential to anyone (except my parents and 2 very close friends of them) till I die.

its better this way because they would be disgusted.  8) if i get this done i will not tell anybody either. only my family and close friends like you. imagine you put that   in your dating profile you probably get like 0 matches lol
Logged

th

  • Full Member
  • **
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 229
Re: How did you tell loved ones?
« Reply #10 on: September 15, 2021, 08:45:25 PM »

wjy are u spouting such crap - when u do ll - then talk - otherwise what u on about??
Logged

th

  • Full Member
  • **
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 229
Re: How did you tell loved ones?
« Reply #11 on: September 15, 2021, 08:48:58 PM »

i've looked at ur comments - those who have done ll will know what i mean - when u have done ll - then speak - u & ur lol's fk
Logged

Llentt90

  • Visitor
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 8
Re: How did you tell loved ones?
« Reply #12 on: September 15, 2021, 08:58:13 PM »

I told my then gf that I wanted to become taller and LL is something I planed to do and I will do it at all costs as I wasn't happy with my height. She was ok with that, she was just afraid that all this time with a so massive surgery will harm our relationship.
She was right as we broke up 1-2 months before I removed my frames.
And she was the one and only girl that knew about my LL. Nonother gf I had never learned anything about it and it is something that I will keep it confidential to anyone (except my parents and 2 very close friends of them) till I die.

Thanks for that perspective. I don’t mean to pry so please don’t feel like you need to answer but did you have a strong relationship before the surgery? Was the break up directly caused by CLL or were there other issues and this was just the final straw? 
Logged

Llentt90

  • Visitor
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 8
Re: How did you tell loved ones?
« Reply #13 on: September 15, 2021, 09:05:59 PM »

Hey,

so far so good. I am at 4.2cm at this point, meaning that I should be able to reach my lengthening goal next week if all goes well.

In my case everything went smoothly so far. The clicking was fairly easy from the start and got even better after about 3cm, so that now it's a matter of 5 minutes per day for both legs. The X-Ray was good, showing callus, a perfectly aligned nail and all screws tightly in place. My walk is slightly wide, but both Betz and Peter Woll, my physiotherapist, told me that considering I am at an advanced stage it's still very good.

So on the whole I can't complain, but I will reserve my final verdict until I am actually done :)

It's actually no problem that you're from the US. There were two patients from the US while I was there, and even someone from Nigeria. I'd recommend you stay in Germany for a few weeks after the hospital, however, to make sure you can click confidently and there are no problems that need immediate attention from Betz because once you're back in the US seeing Betz will be difficult.

I personally spent time at Elke's guesthouse before the hospital and then the Parkhotel Weiskirchen after the hospital and have to say the Parkhotel is better because they have a gym, a pool, a park where you can walk and a big facility where you can book a massage or a lymphatic drainage. It is also very close to Peter Woll who I strongly recommend you see before you go out into the wild because he is an extremely experienced physiotherapist who has seen hundreds if not thousands of LL patients. He has a sharp eye for what you will have to focus on and advice on how to work on your weaknesses.

In case you are interested in the financial matters, it came to around 60000€ / $70000 for everything so far :)

Of course, also read all diaries of the current patients. It will give you a more well rounded view, particularly on topics like clicking, which can vary in terms of difficulty and pain. Perhaps I will also write my own diary or review at some point soon.

Good luck!

Thanks for all that info, I will definitely keep it in mind since I want to have a weight bearing nail and it doesn’t look like Stryde will be available for a while. Early next year would probably be the best time for me to start so I have to take that into consideration.

I don’t mind necessarily mind traveling to Germany although I would prefer to the procedure in the US. I guess my biggest question with it is how are check ups, x rays, prescription medication handled while I’m here. The US healthcare system is a whole mess so I’m not sure how it would work ie if I run out of medication can he prescribe me something if he’s in another country or would I have to go to a general doctor here? That’s the type of thing I gotta consider.
Logged

th

  • Full Member
  • **
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 229
Re: How did you tell loved ones?
« Reply #14 on: September 15, 2021, 10:49:53 PM »

the type of thing you gotta consider is whether you will really do the surgery or not...

when/date

where

by whom
Logged

Body Builder

  • Sr. Member
  • ***
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1950
Re: How did you tell loved ones?
« Reply #15 on: September 15, 2021, 10:51:30 PM »

Thanks for that perspective. I don’t mean to pry so please don’t feel like you need to answer but did you have a strong relationship before the surgery? Was the break up directly caused by CLL or were there other issues and this was just the final straw?
I was 22 yo before LL so yes it was a strong relationship for that age but not as strong as a relationship that people have at their 30s and more.
LL and so many monthhs almost only at home made me to get angry and jealous much easier than before and that made things hard as we had many fights. Also I believed she was cheated on me at the end (never really found out if I was right or not) and I decided to finish it.
Before LL we had some fights but nothing important. But I believe that if you are in a more mature age and have a strong relationship, possibilities are that LL won't cause any major problems.

Still I think that it is better to keep it confidential from any other woman you'll have in your life if you are not with her when you do LL.
It is better for both to never know about it. Noone ever would truly understand an LLer, moreover a woman.
Logged

Xx_Gaylord1337_xX

  • Newbie
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 47
Re: How did you tell loved ones?
« Reply #16 on: September 15, 2021, 11:26:56 PM »

 . the only reason most  man go for LL is to be accepted more by society.
if society wasnt this toxic towards short men people wouldnt be going through all the pain.
my parents are actually complete losers they aint achieve a goddamn thing just made 3 kids and
we all on our own. life sucks when everything is against you  :-X
Logged

DonBones

  • Full Member
  • **
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 236
Re: How did you tell loved ones?
« Reply #17 on: September 16, 2021, 05:58:53 AM »

Thanks for all that info, I will definitely keep it in mind since I want to have a weight bearing nail and it doesn’t look like Stryde will be available for a while. Early next year would probably be the best time for me to start so I have to take that into consideration.

I don’t mind necessarily mind traveling to Germany although I would prefer to the procedure in the US. I guess my biggest question with it is how are check ups, x rays, prescription medication handled while I’m here. The US healthcare system is a whole mess so I’m not sure how it would work ie if I run out of medication can he prescribe me something if he’s in another country or would I have to go to a general doctor here? That’s the type of thing I gotta consider.

Re X-Rays - I had mine done here in London and they dropped Betz the DICOM file via a link. He gave me feedback within two hours. It's fairly easy.

Prescription medication - Betz will supply you with a bag containing all the medicine you need considering your lengthening goal. Should a top up be needed, the way it works in the UK is we ask our GP (who treat common conditions, give out prescriptions or refer people to specialists) to provide a prescription. Having said that, should you need to top up, you will not be able to get Novalgin in the US because it's not available there. In my opinion this is not a big deal because you will also get Tramadol, which is an effective painkiller by itself, and you can take something other than Novalgin in addition to it should you need to.

If you are seriously considering Betz I suggest you reach out soon because they're fully booked until mid 2022 and when I was there he was performing surgeries almost daily.

For any other questions feel free to reach out via a PM as we're kind of heading off topic here :)
Logged
First Surgery - Prof Betz - 28th July 2021 🇩🇪
Nail Removal - Dr Becker - 13th December 2023 🇩🇪
Lengthened: 5.00cm
Height: 180cm
Current Phase: Enjoying New Height :)

Llentt90

  • Visitor
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 8
Re: How did you tell loved ones?
« Reply #18 on: September 16, 2021, 06:50:22 PM »

Re X-Rays - I had mine done here in London and they dropped Betz the DICOM file via a link. He gave me feedback within two hours. It's fairly easy.

Prescription medication - Betz will supply you with a bag containing all the medicine you need considering your lengthening goal. Should a top up be needed, the way it works in the UK is we ask our GP (who treat common conditions, give out prescriptions or refer people to specialists) to provide a prescription. Having said that, should you need to top up, you will not be able to get Novalgin in the US because it's not available there. In my opinion this is not a big deal because you will also get Tramadol, which is an effective painkiller by itself, and you can take something other than Novalgin in addition to it should you need to.

If you are seriously considering Betz I suggest you reach out soon because they're fully booked until mid 2022 and when I was there he was performing surgeries almost daily.

For any other questions feel free to reach out via a PM as we're kind of heading off topic here :)

Thanks I’ll do that!
Logged
Pages: [1]   Go Up