Hi all, I'm new here and this is my first post, but I'm not new by any means to LL's concept and having massive body dysmorphia because of my stature. I've lurked on this forum for a while, and I wish I joined sooner. I'm more active on r/short but any serious talk about LL is shut down immediately. I'd love for this forum to be my main venting place alongside advice and tips because I always see a lot of genuine support.
For starters, I'm a 5'7 (170 cm) 24 year old man and I've had bad body issues with myself for years, despite lifting, working out, eating healthy while studying in college, all that. To the point where it's a downward spiral with suicidal thoughts because I am
so uncomfortable with my own body. More specifically, I'm a gay man and it causes me immense grief that I'm not big and masculine enough for other men. That I can always become muscular and "big", but without the tallness factor, I am always at a disadvantage because I can't and will never compete with this ideal standard of masculinity. That's where my rabbit hole into LL began a few years ago.
Planning for LL in the 2030's seriously motivates me to study my ass off and get into my good-paying career in tech to save up for LL. It's what makes me click and it's fantastic motivation for me. I hope by the time the next decade rolls around, the surgery has become much safer and less painful than it is now? I hope to get to 5'10 or 5'11, gaining 7-10 cm from what I am now. But I have serious doubts about LL because since I lift weights and I've been wanting to get into MMA and boxing. Is 7-10 cm too much? Will I have to choose between one or the other? Building/MMA or becoming taller? Or I could do LL, recover for a few years, then get back into intense sports? I know with even the most successful LL surgeries, you'll only gain back 90% of your legs at best? I dunno if anyone else has a similar situation with me, having to choose between LL or combat sports. Or has anyone here done LL and does intensive sports that are demanding on the legs?
It just sucks that I am really uncomfortable with own self no matter what I do, and it would take a life-changing surgery to get rid of the dysmorphia. We live in the 21st century and body modifications will only become more common, I believe. Why deal the cards we're dealt with when we have the chance to reshuffle them to our liking? I'm ranting a bit now so hey, hello and nice to meet y'all