If you want more height you can go up to 3 inches on femurs, which would put you at average female height (US). I personally think longer femurs would look better on a woman. I like long legs and I think when I picture them, the attractive part is that femur area primarily. One of my female friends (5’6) has the same length legs as her female friend (5’11) and it’s mostly in the femurs, and it’s super good looking! They are both models so they have all their measurements. Anyways that my personal preference so take it with a grain of salt.
As for muscle loss in your butt, this will be temporary. All your lower body muscles will atrophy during the recovery which is very long, and you’re movement is limited. Once you get moving again you will recover that muscle and maybe even more.
I do think that if you were average female height you would get more respect. Unfortunately height/ body size is hugely important to be taken seriously. I can’t speak on your other issues as it’s just not something I have experienced.
There are a lot of resources on this site discussing the surgery and it is and excellent resource to learn about it. It is a huge decision and most people who want to get it, never do for various reasons. So make sure you are well informed because there is a lot to consider.
Also there are a lot of really cool and supportive people on here, but there are a lot of people who are bitter towards women/incels/ etc. who are going to give you a hard time so brace for that.