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Author Topic: So depressed, is this even worth it?  (Read 1512 times)

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Unknown

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So depressed, is this even worth it?
« on: May 20, 2021, 06:23:28 AM »

Anyone struggling with feelings of hopelessness and depression due to their short height? I feel like even after this surgery, there will be a long way to go before I could even work. How does walking for hours actually feel like after LL? Any LLers could tell their experiences going back to normal lives after surgery and be brutally honest?
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RB

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Re: So depressed, is this even worth it?
« Reply #1 on: May 20, 2021, 07:01:54 AM »

As someone who is currently lengthening with a weight bearing nail, I am aiming for 6 months post surgery to be able to walk somewhat normally but even then I don’t expect to feel like I did pre surgery as that will likely take more time. Even if you can weight bear on your nails, doctors will always exaggerate just how quickly you can recover and get back to normal so if you go through with it, expect to be recovering in one way or another for a while. In my opinion limited mobility for a few months is worth the height increase for a lifetime.
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Femurs with Dr. Betz - March 2021
5'4" > 5'7.5"
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Unknown

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Re: So depressed, is this even worth it?
« Reply #2 on: May 20, 2021, 07:57:10 AM »

As someone who is currently lengthening with a weight bearing nail, I am aiming for 6 months post surgery to be able to walk somewhat normally but even then I don’t expect to feel like I did pre surgery as that will likely take more time. Even if you can weight bear on your nails, doctors will always exaggerate just how quickly you can recover and get back to normal so if you go through with it, expect to be recovering in one way or another for a while. In my opinion limited mobility for a few months is worth the height increase for a lifetime.
Thanks for the honesty. As of yet are you still content with your decision for your surgery? As someone of similar height to ur starting height, would you encourage him to get this done? Any notice in differences in how others perceive you yet?
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RB

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Re: So depressed, is this even worth it?
« Reply #3 on: May 20, 2021, 08:47:27 AM »

Thanks for the honesty. As of yet are you still content with your decision for your surgery? As someone of similar height to ur starting height, would you encourage him to get this done? Any notice in differences in how others perceive you yet?

It’s always tough to say while you are going through it if it was worth it but the fact that I was finally able to do something about my height which had caused me so much pain for years, is what has made it worth it for me so far. Yes, at our heights it is often the first thing people notice about us and while it is possible to live a happy life at any height, at 163 you become defined as the short guy and have to work 10 times as hard as others to achieve the same results / respect / women as others who put in less effort so I would 100% without a doubt recommend it to someone who is your height as I know exactly what it’s like and the issue isn’t in our heads, we face genuine heightism.

So personally I started noticing the increase at 5cm and am now at 5.8cm. But since I haven’t returned to society yet, I only have my family members and gf to compare heights to so haven’t noticed a difference in treatment as of yet but likely will be able to tell you when I am back in society. My duck ass is also taking away about half a cm at least lol.

But yes like I said, I highly recommend this surgery for people in our height range even despite the pain, cost and long recovery time.
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Femurs with Dr. Betz - March 2021
5'4" > 5'7.5"
Status: Consolidation phase
Diary: http://www.limblengtheningforum.com/index.php?topic=66296.0

LLSouthAmerica

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Re: So depressed, is this even worth it?
« Reply #4 on: May 20, 2021, 02:09:29 PM »

What I experienced is that age will change the way you perceive yourself. You can be successful and happy at any height. But particularly, even if you are still short after the surgery, you will feel like you did the best you could. You will be at peace with yourself and most of the people I know would not do the surgery again to gain further cms.
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Went from 164 to 170 cm
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Unknown

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Re: So depressed, is this even worth it?
« Reply #5 on: May 20, 2021, 04:04:31 PM »

Would you do it again? Assuming you are back to your pre-op state
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Sbsbsb

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Re: So depressed, is this even worth it?
« Reply #6 on: May 20, 2021, 05:26:23 PM »

I am a female with height dysphoria,2nd post-op day LATN.I wish I could reverse my decision.The diaries I had read all showed progress.No one mentioned how walking when your bones are broken, unstable and grind on each other feel like.How you will be dependent on nurses for everything,havent washed my face or brushed my teeth in 3 days.Not opened bowels, and passing urine in a bedpan that causes me pain everytime its shoved below me as I have to bend my legs.The severe pain I have,the fear that I will be discharged in 2 days and dont know how I will manage to stand,walk,go to toilet,open bowels.When will I actually be able to walk.The frame is so heavy and clunky and I am just depressed.The enormity of the procedure has hit me.
People who have done the surgery,how did you go to toilet when you went home?? Even with family members helping.Do I need to buy a commod or something.
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PerfectBody

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Re: So depressed, is this even worth it?
« Reply #7 on: May 20, 2021, 06:01:02 PM »

I am a female with height dysphoria,2nd post-op day LATN.I wish I could reverse my decision. ...
People who have done the surgery,how did you go to toilet when you went home?? Even with family members helping.Do I need to buy a commod or something.


The regret is STRONG the days immediately after surgery :( For real I was extremely depressed the first two days, regretting everything and longing for my little, stupid but happy life. I never realized how much I loved everybody I was connected to  - friends, family... It was really hard. Still kind of is.

I'm now about 5 days after surgery and I'm less depressed about having done it. I'm overwhelmed about how much time I have to spend in a foreign country however.

Pooping is rough because bending my knees isn't easy. I have to assume a spider-like pose above the toiler. and carefully lower myself until i'm either touching or close enough. Getting off the bed is a similar situation. Moving won't be easy for the first two weeks because our legs are broken so please, please be patient with yourself. The people who walk can only do so for a few minutes max at a time. If you're less than 4 days from your surgery, it's seconds.

Please go easy on yourself. You underwent the craziest cosmetic surgery, and your body is healing. You* will make it out the other end :)

*edit: we
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LON Femur with Dr Buldu
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Activatedxx

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Re: So depressed, is this even worth it?
« Reply #8 on: May 20, 2021, 06:30:21 PM »

I am a female with height dysphoria,2nd post-op day LATN.I wish I could reverse my decision.The diaries I had read all showed progress.No one mentioned how walking when your bones are broken, unstable and grind on each other feel like.How you will be dependent on nurses for everything,havent washed my face or brushed my teeth in 3 days.Not opened bowels, and passing urine in a bedpan that causes me pain everytime its shoved below me as I have to bend my legs.The severe pain I have,the fear that I will be discharged in 2 days and dont know how I will manage to stand,walk,go to toilet,open bowels.When will I actually be able to walk.The frame is so heavy and clunky and I am just depressed.The enormity of the procedure has hit me.
People who have done the surgery,how did you go to toilet when you went home?? Even with family members helping.Do I need to buy a commod or something.


You should see another doctor, I was walking next day after surgery 30 steps with little pain with walker
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5’5 starting. 8cm distracted. External LON Femur Buldu (Turkey) 2021. Nail removal at HSS (USA) .
Tibia external TSF 10-2024, Assayag (Usa). In progress.
If considering external femurs please change your mind

Unknown

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Re: So depressed, is this even worth it?
« Reply #9 on: May 20, 2021, 06:46:24 PM »

I am a female with height dysphoria,2nd post-op day LATN.I wish I could reverse my decision.The diaries I had read all showed progress.No one mentioned how walking when your bones are broken, unstable and grind on each other feel like.How you will be dependent on nurses for everything,havent washed my face or brushed my teeth in 3 days.Not opened bowels, and passing urine in a bedpan that causes me pain everytime its shoved below me as I have to bend my legs.The severe pain I have,the fear that I will be discharged in 2 days and dont know how I will manage to stand,walk,go to toilet,open bowels.When will I actually be able to walk.The frame is so heavy and clunky and I am just depressed.The enormity of the procedure has hit me.
People who have done the surgery,how did you go to toilet when you went home?? Even with family members helping.Do I need to buy a commod or something.
Thank you for sharing your experience. I feel that we need to be as honest to each other about how the procefure actually is rather than painting a beautiful ideal about it. I was almost certain doing this until I saw some diary and read some experiences that made me really hesitate.
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LLSouthAmerica

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Re: So depressed, is this even worth it?
« Reply #10 on: May 20, 2021, 09:35:03 PM »

This surgery is something you have to do when you are at a high point in your life and you have plenty of support from family and loved ones. I consider myself a very cold and determined guy and even for me there were a few times where I regretted the surgery. Remember you will have chronic pain for weeks if not months after surgery.
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Went from 164 to 170 cm
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BelowTheMean

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Re: So depressed, is this even worth it?
« Reply #11 on: May 20, 2021, 11:13:51 PM »

Honestly right after surgery I felt the best about it since I was still in the honeymoon phase. I could still withstand all the pain and not being able to walk very well because I was excited about getting taller. But now that I’m 6 months in, any little problem I have with gait or weakness  or flexibility and I get frustrated because I thought I would be fully healed by now. I’m also used to the height already so I don’t feel taller anymore - it feels like I’ve always been this tall and my legs just don’t work very well.
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Stryde Femurs - Debiparshad - Nov 2020
Nail Removal - Downey - Apr 2022
Journal (169cm -> 177cm) http://www.limblengtheningforum.com/index.php?topic=65617

Current Status: Recovered, moving on

spark

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Re: So depressed, is this even worth it?
« Reply #12 on: May 21, 2021, 02:32:56 AM »

Honestly right after surgery I felt the best about it since I was still in the honeymoon phase. I could still withstand all the pain and not being able to walk very well because I was excited about getting taller. But now that I’m 6 months in, any little problem I have with gait or weakness  or flexibility and I get frustrated because I thought I would be fully healed by now. I’m also used to the height already so I don’t feel taller anymore - it feels like I’ve always been this tall and my legs just don’t work very well.

What do you mean it feels like youve always been this tall? Were you daydreaming of being taller before the surgery or walking on your toes to see how that would feel?
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Unknown

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Re: So depressed, is this even worth it?
« Reply #13 on: May 21, 2021, 02:47:31 AM »

For patients that had the surgery for more than a year ago, do you still regret this?
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BelowTheMean

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Re: So depressed, is this even worth it?
« Reply #14 on: May 21, 2021, 03:09:24 AM »

What do you mean it feels like youve always been this tall? Were you daydreaming of being taller before the surgery or walking on your toes to see how that would feel?

I mean I’ve already forgotten what it’s like to be my original height. A few months at the new height and that’s the only perspective I can picture now. Think about back when you were growing up. Whenever you grew taller, how long did it take to get used to it? Internalizing your new height should have been pretty quick and it’s the same for LL.
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Stryde Femurs - Debiparshad - Nov 2020
Nail Removal - Downey - Apr 2022
Journal (169cm -> 177cm) http://www.limblengtheningforum.com/index.php?topic=65617

Current Status: Recovered, moving on

Unknown

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Re: So depressed, is this even worth it?
« Reply #15 on: May 21, 2021, 03:09:58 AM »

This surgery is something you have to do when you are at a high point in your life and you have plenty of support from family and loved ones. I consider myself a very cold and determined guy and even for me there were a few times where I regretted the surgery. Remember you will have chronic pain for weeks if not months after surgery.
Did you regret it after a year of doing? Of just initially after surgery
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th

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Re: So depressed, is this even worth it?
« Reply #16 on: May 21, 2021, 09:05:13 AM »

but you can brush your teeth from the bed if you have to...

these things will help - and it will get better... :)
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LLSouthAmerica

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Re: So depressed, is this even worth it?
« Reply #17 on: May 21, 2021, 01:46:26 PM »

Honestly right after surgery I felt the best about it since I was still in the honeymoon phase. I could still withstand all the pain and not being able to walk very well because I was excited about getting taller. But now that I’m 6 months in, any little problem I have with gait or weakness  or flexibility and I get frustrated because I thought I would be fully healed by now. I’m also used to the height already so I don’t feel taller anymore - it feels like I’ve always been this tall and my legs just don’t work very well.

Man, you'll most likely get there. Who told you you would be back 100% 6 months after surgery. Every person recovers at their own rate, and even then, most people are more or less functional 6 months in. Very far from being back to normal.
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Went from 164 to 170 cm
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th

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Re: So depressed, is this even worth it?
« Reply #18 on: May 21, 2021, 02:30:41 PM »

I am a female with height dysphoria,2nd post-op day LATN.I wish I could reverse my decision.The diaries I had read all showed progress.No one mentioned how walking when your bones are broken, unstable and grind on each other feel like.How you will be dependent on nurses for everything,havent washed my face or brushed my teeth in 3 days.Not opened bowels, and passing urine in a bedpan that causes me pain everytime its shoved below me as I have to bend my legs.The severe pain I have,the fear that I will be discharged in 2 days and dont know how I will manage to stand,walk,go to toilet,open bowels.When will I actually be able to walk.The frame is so heavy and clunky and I am just depressed.The enormity of the procedure has hit me.
People who have done the surgery,how did you go to toilet when you went home?? Even with family members helping.Do I need to buy a commod or something.

but you also need to change your attitude - this may naturally occur anyway - but you need to help it again - try to see it as an adventure etc - otherwise will be much harder and less enjoyable etc...
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th

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Re: So depressed, is this even worth it?
« Reply #19 on: May 21, 2021, 02:37:47 PM »

help it along - i meant
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Serilium

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Re: So depressed, is this even worth it?
« Reply #20 on: May 21, 2021, 02:48:36 PM »

but you also need to change your attitude - this may naturally occur anyway - but you need to help it again - try to see it as an adventure etc - otherwise will be much harder and less enjoyable etc...

This is actually an underrated mental perspective shift. Thanks for this, one of the best thoughts I've seen in a while.
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th

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Re: So depressed, is this even worth it?
« Reply #21 on: May 21, 2021, 02:59:46 PM »

i did ll in russia - one guy refused to walk after surgery - he stayed in bed and didn't stop complaining - he had a tough time and the doctors nearly stopped treating him - others enjoyed walking and mixing and venturing out in to the city - huge difference after same procedure etc

u have to embrace the journey... :)
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BelowTheMean

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Re: So depressed, is this even worth it?
« Reply #22 on: May 21, 2021, 03:30:43 PM »

Man, you'll most likely get there. Who told you you would be back 100% 6 months after surgery. Every person recovers at their own rate, and even then, most people are more or less functional 6 months in. Very far from being back to normal.

Well I was following SNC's journal the most when I went into surgery due to timing, so I thought the recovery process would be a lot quicker. I'm not expecting to be able to run or play sports, but I was hoping to at least have a normal walk by the 6 month mark...
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Stryde Femurs - Debiparshad - Nov 2020
Nail Removal - Downey - Apr 2022
Journal (169cm -> 177cm) http://www.limblengtheningforum.com/index.php?topic=65617

Current Status: Recovered, moving on

Bagga

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Re: So depressed, is this even worth it?
« Reply #23 on: May 21, 2021, 03:46:51 PM »

Are you still planning to do?
Dr. Sarjit Singh is located in Singapore
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AimHigh

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Re: So depressed, is this even worth it?
« Reply #24 on: May 26, 2021, 09:59:50 PM »

Yes, this is an expensive, daunting, painful and life changing surgery. You are more realistic than most, You will probably fare well - .
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2016 5.3 cm RFem. Fitbone, 2019 8cm LFem. Precice 2.2, 2022 2.9 cm Rfem Precice 2.2

10cmOnTibiaOrGTFO

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Re: So depressed, is this even worth it?
« Reply #25 on: May 26, 2021, 10:15:05 PM »

life is   anyways. some people have great lifes, for others many things are unreachable  :'(
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RealLostSoul

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Re: So depressed, is this even worth it?
« Reply #26 on: May 28, 2021, 09:36:01 AM »

i know ths feeling and i believe i cant do it bc of it, u need dto be content to dothis, i am severely depressd aslife worsend by alot recevntly. icant do it now soo i can nevver do it , ithink i tke the otheer way. goodluckto allof you ll pattients.s
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