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[private_ll]

I have decided to get LL in July using Precice. I decided to quit my desk job for 8 months until I recover and can walk normally because privacy is super important to me. Even though we were already working from home for a year, our office is going to reopen soon now.

So I had a conversation with my manager

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Me: "I need to quit due to personal reasons as I will not be able to come to the office for 8 months. The reasons are personal."

Manager: "you are an asset to the team, will you stay if we allow you to work from home for a year?"

Me (elated): "yes"

After a few days

Manager: "this is fine by me, but you see this is a big corporation and there are certain policies for such a work from home request like this. HR has said they will allow this under exceptional circumstances. They want to discuss your case with you"

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Now if I tell them the truth and give them a letter from my doctor they will happily allow this. But I want privacy. No one at work, not even HR should find out I did LL.

Please suggest some reasons which I can use.

The reasons I came up with are:

1. "I need to take care of a family member in a different city"
2. "I need to stay with my girlfriend who lives in a different city" - Can they ask me to fly once a month to come to office?
3. "I need to correct my bones" - Bad reason because they can ask me to produce a doctor's letter

Somehow I am not able to think of that "perfect" excuse. Note that the company doesn't care about me leaving. It's me who badly wants to keep the job. I am getting very nervous about the HR meeting.

[private_ll]

Also, my teammates and manager are really close to me. So I feel a little cold hearted to tell them "no more questions, it's personal". I want to give them a reason which would not be embarrassing and also give compassion I deserve.

The thing is, 8 months is unusually long. It's hard to justify this.

[Serilium]

bow legs surgery. u can get doctor to produce note for that. dey dont need to be specific

[private_ll]

bow legs surgery. u can get doctor to produce note for that. dey dont need to be specific

1. I don't know if my doc will produce a false note. It's not bow legs surgery, so why would he write that?
2. I don't want me to ever be associated with my doctor in a note like that. He is famous at LL and one Google search will give me away. He is known for cosmetic LL in particular.

[Serilium]

Take 24/7 care of dying mother. Mother has dementia and psychotic and panics and is crazy when around caretakers, cannot leave her alone. Cannot hire caretaker, cannot put into nursing home, she is psychotic and depression away from son. Nursing home "evicted" her due to bad behavior. Maybe she is even history of allergic to vaccines. Thus she cannot take the covid vaccine, and nursing home is dangerous. Attempted to put her into hospice but depression for her and she wants to stay with her son always, and rapidly deteriorated when she tried hospice for a week. She is terminally ill with some cancer or disease. Doctor expecting her to go to heaven in about 8 months. Please boss I need to take care of my mom. Thank you so much boss, allow me 8 months off. Please boss I am begging you. This is my mother. My productivity will be good boss I am begging you let me WFH (it wont, you'll probably need to take at least 2 weeks off at the start and productivity goes down due to pain and depression from LL journey).

[private_ll]

Any suggestions people?

My company has offices in every tiny city. That's another headache. What if they say, "why don't you work from that branch instead?"

Sigh. Any good reasons people? There *has* to be that perfect excuse!

[PerfectBody]

You need surgery on your legs. Say deformity. Be honest but don't tell him everything - he doesn't need to know everything.

You can provide proof later of surgery and pics of your legs healing. Don't overcomplicate this situation, don't lie. You'll do a   ton of damage to yourself and your reputation if you start making   up.

[private_ll]

As I said my surgeon is famous at this procedure. One Google search and they will know its cosmetic LL. So no medical letters ever.

You're right about lying, it's important to not get caught here. That's why the reason should not be something verifiable.

[private_ll]

The reason should elicit this response:

"Oh okay Tom, we understand you're going not be able to come to work for 8 months because of <reason>. We don't need to know anything more. You are allowed to work from home for 8 months. Best of luck"

in essence

[Medium Drink Of Water]

Go to a psychiatrist and say you're so depressed/anxious that you can't work, or that you were abusing drugs but now you want to stop and need help dealing with withdrawl.  Get a note from that doctor.  That's the one type of doctor you don't need to show physical proof of an illness to.

Although your teammates and manager who're you're really close to might wonder how going away for 8 months for drug treatment made you so much taller.

[private_ll]

Go to a psychiatrist and say you're so depressed/anxious that you can't work, or that you were abusing drugs but now you want to stop and need help dealing with withdrawl.  Get a note from that doctor.  That's the one type of doctor you don't need to show physical proof of an illness to.

Although your teammates and manager who're you're really close to might wonder how going away for 8 months for drug treatment made you so much taller.

So my company would learn that I need to be away for 8 months for some psychiatric treatment. That's the last impression I want anyone to have of me.

Aren't there any non medical reasons one could use?

I used to wear shoe lifts. I will go back without the lifts. I have no concerns about the height change.

[BelowTheMean]

Even if you convince HR, won't your team know once you come back to the office? (Since you're the only one who switched to WFH temporarily) If your whole company was WFH and then everyone came back around the same time, then it might be easier to get away with it, but if you're the only one who took leave then it will be trickier to avoid questions about the change in your physical appearance as well. I'm just thinking that whatever story you come up with is going to have to be consistent since your coworkers might accidentally say something to HR as well.

But yeah, the HR thing is BS and I'm glad I did this during the pandemic so I didn't have to take leave. If I'm forced to go back into the office more than 40% of the time after the pandemic, I'm going to switch to a permanent remote job.

[private_ll]

Even if you convince HR, won't your team know once you come back to the office? (Since you're the only one who switched to WFH temporarily) If your whole company was WFH and then everyone came back around the same time, then it might be easier to get away with it, but if you're the only one who took leave then it will be trickier to avoid questions about the change in your physical appearance as well. I'm just thinking that whatever story you come up with is going to have to be consistent since your coworkers might accidentally say something to HR as well.

But yeah, the HR thing is BS and I'm glad I did this during the pandemic so I didn't have to take leave. If I'm forced to go back into the office more than 40% of the time after the pandemic, I'm going to switch to a permanent remote job.

Honestly I am not worried about people noticing my height change. I have been wearing shoe lifts all along and will remove them after LL. If it is a big concern I will stay a little aloof and not get into office chitchat so people don't talk about me like I'm their buddy.

I wish I had done it before, but they removed Stryde when I was about to. I kept waiting indecisively but now I realize it's not coming anytime soon. It sucks all the more because with Stryde I could have gone back in just 4-5 months if I lengthened conservatively.

Looks like I'll just have to tell them "sorry it's a personal matter, I'm going to have to quit if my request isn't fulfilled" and stay unemployed for 8 months. I doubt they will even take me back later if I leave like this.

[HeightGain]

A lot of the famous doctors have other doctors that they will be training, you might be under the care of them and their name might be what goes on documentation if you ask for it.

[AllinStryde]

Hey dude...If I were you, I would wait for Stryde to come back, and it WILL.  It will also be safer and better than ever.  Don't settle for being wheelchair-bound for 8 months when you can just wait a little longer and have access to Stryde and be back in 3 months.  Just my thoughts. 

[private_ll]

A lot of the famous doctors have other doctors that they will be training, you might be under the care of them and their name might be what goes on documentation if you ask for it.

This is good advice but it's not applicable to many. Take Paley for example. If you get the letter from Robbins, it's still going to be on the Paley institute letterhead and there is no way they would hide the true procedure performed.

[private_ll]

Hey dude...If I were you, I would wait for Stryde to come back, and it WILL.  It will also be safer and better than ever.  Don't settle for being wheelchair-bound for 8 months when you can just wait a little longer and have access to Stryde and be back in 3 months.  Just my thoughts.

Hey, yeah I read all these Stryde diaries and can't help but feel jealous of how easy they have it. But if they launch a new version of the nail will I be happy being one of the first ones to use it? Nope. If they determine that the nail was perfectly safe as it was, then I wouldn't mind using it. It has been months since the recall and unfortunately we have not had any information about what is going on. You gave me a glimmer of hope but I think we'll just end up wasting precious youth waiting for it That said, I do get shivers thinking about the Precice experience too. Can't win

[Serilium]

But if they launch a new version of the nail will I be happy being one of the first ones to use it? Nope.

You say that, but I think in reality you and everyone else would definitely use it if it meant not having to go 5 months in wheelchair 

[Worzezterlire]

You mentioned HR being involved.  You should make it very clear that this is something that is confidential and that you don’t want anyone beyond HR knowing about it.  Maybe even speak to counsel about it to get some legal ideas (don’t show up to work saying you have a lawyer obviously) on secrecy within HR.  At the end of the day, if HR spreads the rumor, you need to make sure there’s skin in the game and someone loses their job over it.  That tends to be the easiest way to prevent malice on the part of any individual actor.

I am not a lawyer but that’s my opinion.  Plus then you don’t have to lie to your company.

[private_ll]

You mentioned HR being involved.  You should make it very clear that this is something that is confidential and that you don’t want anyone beyond HR knowing about it.  Maybe even speak to counsel about it to get some legal ideas (don’t show up to work saying you have a lawyer obviously) on secrecy within HR.  At the end of the day, if HR spreads the rumor, you need to make sure there’s skin in the game and someone loses their job over it.  That tends to be the easiest way to prevent malice on the part of any individual actor.

I am not a lawyer but that’s my opinion.  Plus then you don’t have to lie to your company.

Nah man. HR is just people. They gossip like everyone. It's legally impossible to trace who leaked it outside if it happens verbally.

[Meh]

Why not just say its for a limb length discrepancy? They'll google the surgeon and see the doctor is a specialist in limb lengthening and since you wear lifts your height won't change.

[private_ll]

Why not just say its for a limb length discrepancy? They'll google the surgeon and see the doctor is a specialist in limb lengthening and since you wear lifts your height won't change.

Most people have no clue about LL. It just won't cross their mind when someone is away for months. To put this idea in their minds is a terrible idea.

[private_ll]

Here is Donghoon Lee's take on Stryde:

Not too optimistic. 

[Meh]

Yes but it wont be a total lie and you can explain away anyone who googles the surgeon.

[Worzezterlire]

Nah man. HR is just people. They gossip like everyone. It's legally impossible to trace who leaked it outside if it happens verbally.

HR are people, but they also should be held to a much higher standard when it comes to personal medical leave.  I was at a small company before my current stint at a FAANG (which have extremely strict HR procedures), and had to be out for a month.  The HR there was fantastic at shielding my coworkers from my condition (I had a really bad disease for a month and couldn’t breathe) and they did likewise with another coworker who left for 3 months before returning — even now I don’t know why she was gone for that period of time.  If that company of all companies could do it right, I’m sure yours can too.  Have a little faith in other people 

[private_ll]

HR are people, but they also should be held to a much higher standard when it comes to personal medical leave.  I was at a small company before my current stint at a FAANG (which have extremely strict HR procedures), and had to be out for a month.  The HR there was fantastic at shielding my coworkers from my condition (I had a really bad disease for a month and couldn’t breathe) and they did likewise with another coworker who left for 3 months before returning — even now I don’t know why she was gone for that period of time.  If that company of all companies could do it right, I’m sure yours can too.  Have a little faith in other people 

They will be professional for the most part. But you just can't stop people from socializing and talking when they meet each other. And HR people are the most social by nature.

Your health condition was not something that would generate a lot of curiosity and judgement. But LL is something that would pique everyone's interest. Look at how they write news articles on the topic.

I guess I'm just very paranoid.