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Author Topic: Pros and cons of keeping it secret?  (Read 959 times)

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berezoni

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Pros and cons of keeping it secret?
« on: April 24, 2021, 03:51:05 AM »

 Since my daughter is only 12 years old and it is hard for her to keep any secret, she shared with her friends the info about possible future surgery. So many people including some of my relatives became very opinionated and judgmental. We talking about same kind of people who would support someone's transitioning into different gender ( i am not judging anybody ), liposuction, breast augmentation, braces for their kids with already perfect smiles, etc...Then why such cruelty toward someone who is already feeling very low. How hard is it to understand that no parent wants their kid to be called midget ..no parent wants to see their child struggling when limb lengthening surgery exists...Yesterday one of the parents asked me if we still want to go ahead with the "barbaric" surgery. Maybe it was just ignorance on her part, maybe it was an intentional insult. I don't know...either way, I am more and more agree with people who want to keep it a secret.
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RealLostSoul

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Re: Pros and cons of keeping it secret?
« Reply #1 on: April 27, 2021, 01:56:55 PM »

Do you want to do it for yourself or your daughter?
In both instances I would recommend keeping it secret ESPECIALLY from bystanders. And if you know your relatives are narrow minded don‘t tell them either. Only tell a few people you can trust.
If the LL is for your daughter though, it is gonna be more difficult but you should really make her clear the negative consequences of telling everyone about this, especially at that age (where you can‘t stand above some idiot‘s opinions lol)
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Atlas

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Re: Pros and cons of keeping it secret?
« Reply #2 on: April 27, 2021, 02:09:18 PM »

Since my daughter is only 12 years old and it is hard for her to keep any secret, she shared with her friends the info about possible future surgery. So many people including some of my relatives became very opinionated and judgmental. We talking about same kind of people who would support someone's transitioning into different gender ( i am not judging anybody ), liposuction, breast augmentation, braces for their kids with already perfect smiles, etc...Then why such cruelty toward someone who is already feeling very low. How hard is it to understand that no parent wants their kid to be called midget ..no parent wants to see their child struggling when limb lengthening surgery exists...Yesterday one of the parents asked me if we still want to go ahead with the "barbaric" surgery. Maybe it was just ignorance on her part, maybe it was an intentional insult. I don't know...either way, I am more and more agree with people who want to keep it a secret.

You seem like a confused person. I don't even know if you're talking about your daughter or yourself.
But there is no way your daughter wants to do LL at 12. I guess it's about keeping secret from your daughter

My personal opinion
you are that age already, you have 100 ways to lie to your daughter. I doubt that she will care enough about your few cm. She probably won't notice it.

« Last Edit: April 27, 2021, 02:32:53 PM by Atlas »
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berezoni

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Re: Pros and cons of keeping it secret?
« Reply #3 on: April 27, 2021, 10:38:57 PM »

Sorry,I was too upset when I wrote my post. I am happy with my height. I am talking about my daughter . She is 4'7. Her growth plates are closed. If we will go ahead with the surgery, it will be about 2 years from now. It is hard for her to keep secrets from her friends. Her friends actually very supportive, but their parents are very judgmental.
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Body Builder

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Re: Pros and cons of keeping it secret?
« Reply #4 on: April 27, 2021, 11:42:37 PM »

Since my daughter is only 12 years old and it is hard for her to keep any secret, she shared with her friends the info about possible future surgery. So many people including some of my relatives became very opinionated and judgmental. We talking about same kind of people who would support someone's transitioning into different gender ( i am not judging anybody ), liposuction, breast augmentation, braces for their kids with already perfect smiles, etc...Then why such cruelty toward someone who is already feeling very low. How hard is it to understand that no parent wants their kid to be called midget ..no parent wants to see their child struggling when limb lengthening surgery exists...Yesterday one of the parents asked me if we still want to go ahead with the "barbaric" surgery. Maybe it was just ignorance on her part, maybe it was an intentional insult. I don't know...either way, I am more and more agree with people who want to keep it a secret.
Don't let morons make you feel bad about wanting to do LL to your daughter.
An 4.7 person will always live miserably because thats our sociery. 2 LLs can make your kid become normal and live a normal life too.so go for it and don't hear any stupid parent, who would still have done the same for his kid, saying otherwise.

Personally I kept LL a secret except from my parents, my deceased grandparents and the gf I had back then and noone else will even know about it, not even my future wife.
LL is something very personal that society can't easily accept and after all, who cares about what others think? What matters is how you look and feel, we don't need noone to understand why we did it, only other LLers and some short peoole would understand, noone else. So there is no reason to know anything about something so personal and important for us.
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Serilium

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Re: Pros and cons of keeping it secret?
« Reply #5 on: April 28, 2021, 12:48:17 AM »

Just don't force neurosis on your daughter (as if she's not very insecure about height yet, don't keep reminding her or hinting at height). But I do think it will benefit her in the long run. Paley does LL with small kids all the time at early early ages (surgery starting at like age 8, then 12, then 16, so like 3 LL surgeries by the time they turn 16), and the kids are always hesitant on the first one, it's something the parent forces them to do. But after the first one, the kids actually want to go through the process for more height to reach normalcy, and willingly want to go through LL, it's an interesting phenomenon to say the least. They're just experiencing something that if they were healthy, they would experience normally- height gain

Kids are champs. They'd overcome anything. I know I didn't answer your question but this is some perspective of mine on kids doing LL.
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Atlas

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Re: Pros and cons of keeping it secret?
« Reply #6 on: April 28, 2021, 05:46:36 AM »

Sorry,I was too upset when I wrote my post. I am happy with my height. I am talking about my daughter . She is 4'7. Her growth plates are closed. If we will go ahead with the surgery, it will be about 2 years from now. It is hard for her to keep secrets from her friends. Her friends actually very supportive, but their parents are very judgmental.

Opinion from 16yrs old:

It's your daughter's choice, if she wanted too then why not?

who fuc*king cares about a friend's parents' opinion. It's not like those parents will have any effect on your daughter's life.

There is ALOT of friend parent that doesn't like me because of my behavior, well not just '' don't like''. They hate me. But who cares?

The main question:
1. Do your daughter wants to do it? - It's her choice, not you, if yes then go to number 2
2. Do your daughter fully understand the risk of complications? I don't know if 12 years old are old enough to 100% UNDERSTAND that you can even die or go crippled with this surgery, make sure to tell her that. make sure she understands it.

It's entirely if your daughter fully understands as 12 years old that she wants to go such as dangerous surgery for a couple of inches.

If she answer no and you still force her to do it, you're responsible for your own action.

Limb lengthening is still conversational even for noncosmetic reasons.

Good luck

« Last Edit: April 28, 2021, 06:13:12 AM by Atlas »
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RealLostSoul

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Re: Pros and cons of keeping it secret?
« Reply #7 on: April 28, 2021, 09:24:06 AM »

I think 12 y/o is too young to make such a decision. You should decide for her honestly. In my opinion it is obvious that she doesn‘t want or need it now (as for a 12 year old 4‘7 isn‘t too abnormal I think?) but when she gets older she will have a lot of troubles. So saving her from bad depression and height neurosis that will develop in her teenage years is reasonable.
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Atlas

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Re: Pros and cons of keeping it secret?
« Reply #8 on: April 28, 2021, 10:16:06 AM »

I think 12 y/o is too young to make such a decision. You should decide for her honestly. In my opinion it is obvious that she doesn‘t want or need it now (as for a 12 year old 4‘7 isn‘t too abnormal I think?) but when she gets older she will have a lot of troubles. So saving her from bad depression and height neurosis that will develop in her teenage years is reasonable.

She plans to do it at 14-15. I think 14-15 is a great age to make a discussion if she wanna actually do it. Also to make sure the plate is 100% closed.

Maybe she will lose 1 year during her teenage years if she decided to do it later. time is very VALUABLE at age 17-20

@berezoni, I just checked. 4'7 is 139cm.... is there something wrong with your daughter or this is genetic? At this height don't think you have a choice but to let your daughter do LL.


fk the world from 2021 :(. I hope people in 3000 realize they are fking lucky to not have to go through this barbaric surgery to grow taller.
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berezoni

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Re: Pros and cons of keeping it secret?
« Reply #9 on: April 28, 2021, 10:46:30 AM »

She plans to do it at 14-15. I think 14-15 is a great age to make a discussion if she wanna actually do it. Also to make sure the plate is 100% closed.

Maybe she will lose 1 year during her teenage years if she decided to do it later. time is very VALUABLE at age 17-20

@berezoni, I just checked. 4'7 is 139cm.... is there something wrong with your daughter or this is genetic? At this height don't think you have a choice but to let your daughter do LL.


fk the world from 2021 :(. I hope people in 3000 realize they are fking lucky to not have to go through this barbaric surgery to grow taller.

 She was supposed to be between 5 and 5'2. She had precocious puberty that went unnoticed. I am saving every penny for her to have 2 surgeries if she wants to do it in the future. We actually had the surgery scheduled in February, but it was canceled because the surgeon only wanted to use Stryde on her. I read a lot about the psychological effects of limb lenghthening surgery on kids. All of it is positive. Kids are resilient and recover quicker.
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Atlas

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Re: Pros and cons of keeping it secret?
« Reply #10 on: April 28, 2021, 12:49:50 PM »


 She was supposed to be between 5 and 5'2. She had precocious puberty that went unnoticed. I am saving every penny for her to have 2 surgeries if she wants to do it in the future. We actually had the surgery scheduled in February, but it was canceled because the surgeon only wanted to use Stryde on her. I read a lot about the psychological effects of limb lenghthening surgery on kids. All of it is positive. Kids are resilient and recover quicker.



I plan to do this surgery at 17, what do you think? I'm really scared of the pain and complications. But I think if your daughter which is a girl, and only 12 can handle the pain then hmmm.
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AllinStryde

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Re: Pros and cons of keeping it secret?
« Reply #11 on: April 29, 2021, 04:53:01 PM »

I don't know of ANY societal expectations or pressures that are put upon women for being short.  As a matter of fact, women are praised for being short and petite.  For, females, it is a very desirable trait.  She won't face even 1% of the discrimination and hardships that short boys/ men face.  Not sure this is necessary for her to go through...and that's coming from someone who did this procedure.
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Astronomy

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Re: Pros and cons of keeping it secret?
« Reply #12 on: May 02, 2021, 04:20:02 PM »

In my humble point of view they are just envying your dauguther becomin taller and more beautiful or those so-called kindly people ain't suffering from height dysphoria..
I've been persuaded out of LL for hundreds of times by tall guys over 180cm..They're always judgmental about my attempt to do LL and they're trying to preach me with examples like Xiaoping Deng,Changjiang Pan,Jack ma and so on..(I'm a Chinese boy).But I think they don't understand me.
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berezoni

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Re: Pros and cons of keeping it secret?
« Reply #13 on: May 02, 2021, 08:14:21 PM »

In my humble point of view they are just envying your dauguther becomin taller and more beautiful or those so-called kindly people ain't suffering from height dysphoria..
I've been persuaded out of LL for hundreds of times by tall guys over 180cm..They're always judgmental about my attempt to do LL and they're trying to preach me with examples like Xiaoping Deng,Changjiang Pan,Jack ma and so on..(I'm a Chinese boy).But I think they don't understand me.
I agree with you ..It is also a complete lack of empathy. Those people have no idea how being this short makes someone feel.
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Worzezterlire

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Re: Pros and cons of keeping it secret?
« Reply #14 on: May 07, 2021, 03:27:19 AM »

Any type of cosmetic surgery is taboo, but as soon as it’s perceived as functional people immediately change their mind about the outcome.  That’s why I argue anyone doing this or any other cosmetic surgery should be open about it, but always spin it as a positive and functional thing.  Going around telling people you broke your femurs to be taller will never win you any hearts or minds, but admitting to people that you had leg or back problems and had “a surgery” to “fix” those “problems” will make you look a lot better.  It’s totally fked up, but it definitely works.

People are drawn to the grotesque, which is why circus freak shows thrived over the past centuries.  It’s why people hate serial killers but also want to watch their interviews and know all about them, it’s why everyone wants to find the Zodiac killer.  I won’t lie, this surgery for cosmetic-only purposes falls into the grotesque for most people.  People will mock you for it and yet also fixate on it.  Having a functional spinal fusion or bow leg correction is arguably as dangerous, but people don’t find it grotesque.  When you are grotesque, you are the carnie others can unload their own insecurities and pent up inhumanity upon.

So I strongly suggest being open about having surgery, but not about the purpose or method.  Say you have back problems or something.  Just as dangerous to fix, but it’s socially acceptable.
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6CMFemurs

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Re: Pros and cons of keeping it secret?
« Reply #15 on: June 02, 2021, 10:18:19 PM »

I kept it secret for years until I told my now ex-gf (we were dating at the time) about 5 years post-op, she was literally like “whatever, that’s cool” and then never brought it up again during the entirety of our relationship lol. Honestly, would have been so much easier if I had just been more open with people at the beginning instead of feeling so embarrassed and ashamed of something so inconsequential. I definitely plan of disclosing to future partners and even close friends if the subject of height is ever broached.
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onlywantafewcmmore

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Re: Pros and cons of keeping it secret?
« Reply #16 on: June 04, 2021, 12:56:23 PM »

"Inconsequential", id say its a pretty big deal.
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Re: Pros and cons of keeping it secret?
« Reply #17 on: June 04, 2021, 01:00:58 PM »

Don't you have more important problems to worry about?
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