Hello, guys, nice to meet you all. OK, let's start from the beginning. First of all, sorry for my English since it's not my native language. I am from the north of the Europe. I am in my late 20s. I was born in moderate wealthy family. I had normal and quite happy childhood. Despite that, I've always wanted to prove myself, to get recognition from the others. No matter in what place (school, university, job, etc.). Sadly, there was several shoals in my life which always stopped me (which I don't want to mention here for the sake of privacy because you never know who is in the internet
. Over the years that become almost like some mania for me, I became kind of "obsessed" to do everything what is needed to get that recognition. First of all, of course, we are not living in the fairytale, so from maybe 16 years old I've already understood that I would need money to make some of my dreams come true.
I was maybe about 20 years old when I realized that I have a problem to find a girl because of my height (171 cm). I remember like it was yesterday, I was sitting in the dating site, I sent several messages to several girls and got a response: "sorry, you are to short for me." Daaaaamn. It really hurted. Maybe some of you think: "he is not so short", but you need to know, that height depends on the country and in my country my height is the same like average girl height and much lower than average guys height. I started to google: "suplements for height increasing" and realized that it's too late for me. Then I remembered some article which I read several years ago that "very painful height increasing surgery is becoming more and more popular in China" and I started to google again. That's how I've found "old forum " forum. I realized that it costs a lot of time and money. I didn't have a time because I still was in the university. Talking about money, it was also complicated. I understood that I can save up money (from my still low salary at that time) for such surgeons who have nickname "The Butcher", "The Crippler" or so. I really wanted that surgery but then it looked like completely impossible to get money for respectable surgeon. At least in the near future. So I postponed that idea. At least for some time. Btw, despite that, from time to time I returned to the forum to read experiences, other topics, etc. Also I found this forum so I was visiting forums as a non-registered silent reader (funny thing, I know almost all you guys from your stories, but you don't know nothing about me, haha).
Several years later I became graduated in the university. As I said, I was always very ambitious. I've always had very strict working culture. That's the reason why I was growing in my career really fast. I've started to earn more and more money. I became a shareholder of now really successful startup. And dreams which was unrealistic in the past, have started to become quite possible. Now I think that most of us in this forum are very ambitious and want to prove something to the World. That's a consequence of all these internal issues, of all our inner fears and weaknesses. Don't you, guys, think like that?
But as I said, I had more issues with my life which I wanted to solve first (because it was in one or another way "cheaper" to solve them). And step by step, I overcame all that other problems. Height left my only concern. Btw, I had one girlfriend, than another, than another. All of them the were shorter than me except the one who was 2 cm taller. Sadly, I am not "in the short girls". I was always really jealous to the guys who dates 175-185 cm girls. Over the years, deep inside I've got really low self-esteem which I was trying not to show to others. I tried to compensate that with luxury things, muscles, etc. Worthless. Completely worthless. Damn, when I saw an overall bad looking tall guy in the street, my first thought: "how unfair... I am well educated, blah blah, he is maybe thinking only about how he will return to home, open a beer and play Counter Strike match. And he is happy, while I am completely not."
My best friend is a 196 cm giant. His wife is maybe about 160 cm. Once I joked to him: "if I be your height, my wife would be at least 180 cm. Leave 160 cm girls to the guys like me." He said: "that's a irony of the life. If you are tall, you like short girls. If you are short, you like tall girls." Sometimes my colleagues make some joke about height. I am laughing with them but they really can't understand how it hurts me. What is worse, in all ways now I am "better" than 9 years ago. But then at least I had a courage to talk with a girl somewhere outside the internet. Now I don't. I can sit in a dating site with a hidden height but the worst moment is when I had to say my height and wait for the answer. Or I find a girl who I like and who has a comment in her profile: "Guys from 180 cm only" (180 cm is like a minimum guy "requirement" in my country) or "Afraid of short guys". And if a girl taller than me, I even don't have a courage to send her a message. Maybe height dysphoria is like a disease which becomes more and more hard over the years, it damages you more and more.
Overall, maybe somewhere deep inside I was always thinking about LL. As I said, from time to time I was still returning to forum. Not long time ago I've realized that now I can really handle respectable doctor. What's more, since 2018 Stryde is in the market which really drastically decreases healing time. Stryde could offer +8 cm to femurs which is enough for me. I would be 179 cm without shoes (just 1 cm shorter than minimum "requirement" of my country girls for the guys, haha).
OK, now about doctor. Maybe I could think even about Paley if I wait 1 year more but I don't want to. Time passes. Enough is enough for me. And I am not talking about time only. Life isn't 100% about LL only (maybe 90% only, haha). I have future business plans, etc, which needs money. I don't want pay more money than it needs to guarantee smooth journey. First of all, I was thinking about Guichet but then I found stories of Unicorn (I read all 50+ of her topic) and that poor guy who even die. Then I found dr. Giotikas who is even more cheaper and like Guichet is in European Union country what makes very comfortable travel for me (European Union don't require visas between their member countries). Another option - dr. Parihar about who I found very good responses, especially from KiloKAHN who also made his LL with dr. P. He looks like quite matching option to dr. Giotikas except that he is in India.
Any suggestions here?There is another thing also. I am sure at least some of you will understand me. In short: I am not completely sure. When you have some dream which is not realistic, you only think about "how good it be to..."
When the only thing who separates you from that dream is several months of Covid lockdown, you've started to reckon not only about good things (I can't even imagine what is going on in your head, let's say, 1 day before LL surgery, brrrrr).
What if I become crippled? What if I'm gonna bankrupt? What if..? I really afraid now. What is worse, I don't have anyone with whom I can talk about that. For obvious reasons, my parents won't understand that (I am sure, same like many of yours). I can't tell that to my friends. My best friend won't understand me because 196 guy just can't understand 171 guy. I don't want to tell to my other friends because I don't want to see disgusting in their eyes (I am "strong" guy from their point of view). That's why finally I created account in this forum and why I am writing this long boring story, but you guys are the only who can really understand me. I can't even express how I admire all of you. You who have already came through LL are legends. Who have completely determined to go through it are going to be a legends.
But how to overcome myself???Btw, I have everyday mantra - stretching while reading this forum and making notes.
Thank you if you had enough patience to read all this.
Best regards
And stay healthy
