I haven’t been in the mood to update my journal lately, but having reached the six month mark I figured it’s time to put all my notes together and make an update.
Surgery Week +21, Consolidation Week 4
This week I was supposed to get an X-ray but I forgot, so I ended up pushing it back to the following week. I went to PT three times as usual and I’m still weaker on the leg press than I was before I caught COVID-19. At least during the last PT session this week my hip abductor strength felt like it had recovered to where it was before I caught the virus. I need to continue training my glutes, legs, hips, and core muscles, so I will continue to pay money to go to PT. I think my anterior pelvic tilt has improved a little bit visually, but it’s definitely still somewhat there because I can feel it. My lower back still hurts if I walk long distances. My walking gait still has some swaying, but it seems like it’s basically only on the left side.
My flexibility continues to slowly improve. When splitting my legs apart with my knees bent, I can finally open my legs to 90 degrees, which I haven’t been able to for months. I still can’t quite sit on my heels when kneeling down, but I’m getting a lot closer than I could before; my butt is only a few inches away from my heels. My right quad is still a lot more flexible than my left quad, so I usually stretch them individually. On a related note, while I generally sleep pretty well, there are still positions that are not comfortable for me, but as time goes on I have been able to sleep in more positions than before.
I really haven’t been stretching as much as I should, with very few formal stretching sessions. This is another reason why I have continued going to PT even though it’s not cheap. However, whenever I remember that I’m supposed to stretch, I will randomly do some hip or quad stretches wherever I’m standing at the moment, or I’ll do some sitting stretches while I’m watching TV. It would probably be good to do more hamstring stretches as well, but it’s harder to stretch those casually. Also, both of my shins are still very much numb. It’s not any worse than before, but it’s not getting any better either.
I started an online dating profile with 5’11” as my listed height. So far it feels like my match rate is better than before, but it could just be my own brain convincing myself that getting LL was worth it. I had some prospective dates scheduled and at first I decided that I wouldn’t mind going in as a waddling cripple because I don’t really care what a stranger thinks about me. However, then I thought about it and realized it’s a waste of time to go out just for the sake of going out. Aside from the match rate, I don't think I've noticed any difference with online dating. Of course in the past I've mostly dated offline, so I don't have a ton of experience online. Hoping I eventually reach a point where I have confidence in walking again.
Surgery Week +22, Consolidation Week 5
This week I can finally reach my toes again in the sit-n-reach. I’m probably still quite a bit away from reaching my toes with my wrists (if I’ll even be able to do that again) but any improvement is an improvement. I noticed that it has been easier to pick things up off the ground. I tried getting into my car feet first and it was doable with a ton of arm support, but for now it’s still much easier to get in butt first.
I got my first post-lengthening X-rays this week; based on my own observations it looks like there’s a little additional bone growth, but not really a lot given that it has been over a month. I guess I will try to take more supplements over the next month. I’m still randomly feeling nerve activity in my calves and ankle area sometimes. I wouldn’t say it’s painful, but it’s definitely not normal. My shins continue to be very numb and I can only hope it goes away eventually.
PT is tough some days and easier on other days. It definitely varies depending on how much energy I have and how sore, stiff, and in pain my legs are. I don’t want to take any painkillers for PT though, so I just bear with the pain. Sometimes I come out of PT with a limp because I work hard on all the exercises they give me. If only I was that motivated at home! Overall, in the mornings I still feel pretty tight, but as I stretch and walk around in the morning my legs feel more normal pretty quickly. My gait is still not that great, though it seems to be improving a little. I’m not sure what else I can really do to improve my gait. I’ve tried tons of different exercises from the PT and from YouTube. All of it makes my legs sore, but I don’t really see any major improvements.
Surgery Week +23, Consolidation Week 6
I had “substitute” PTs all week since my regular PT was out on vacation, and they worked me super hard so my legs felt sore for basically the entire week. I think it’s good though, as it feels like I’m gaining a lot of strength, and I’m finally feeling better about my gait for the first time in a while. I think stretching my hips before I walk helps a bunch. I also can definitely tell now that my gait gets much worse as my legs get tired. Before, it was all whatever since I was kind of waddling around no matter what, but now that my gait has improved I can see the difference between fresh and tired legs very clearly. Unfortunately I’m pretty busy until next month, so I’m probably not going to be able to work out as hard as I want to.
While the PTs have been pushing me pretty hard, I’m still a bit surprised that my recovery period is so long. I feel like all of my leg muscles have been continuously worked over the last 5 months and they should really be able to recover much faster, but in reality I’m sore coming out of PT, and I’m not 100% fresh going into the next session. I wonder if the issue is that my leg muscles are still stretching and recovering their flexibility, and because of this they don’t really have a chance to recover from working out. Maybe once I fully regain flexibility in my legs then my muscles won’t be chronically sore. Sometimes it’s actually sore to the point of being painful, so it’s not very easy for me to do these PT exercises. I’ve continued to gain a little flexibility, though the gain in flexibility is only a little bit each week.
The doctor finally got my X-ray disc from last week in the mail and said that I have made some progress on consolidation. I’ve been eating bone supplements and generally eating pretty healthy, though my total calorie intake might be too low right now. I’m also probably not bearing weight as often as I could. My next consolidation X-ray is in 6 weeks instead of 4 weeks, so maybe the doctor also thinks I’m consolidating a bit slower than he previously thought I would be. That’s six more weeks of not being able to do any additional weight bearing and only being able to walk and lift weights with my upper body.
I really can’t imagine how bad things must have been before Stryde. Even though I can’t jog or do squats and deadlifts in the gym, my daily life feels pretty normal. I drive normally, go shopping normally, go to PT and the gym normally. I could even go to the office normally if I wasn’t working from home every day. If I was in a wheelchair and the doctor told me that I would have another 6 weeks before I could walk, I would be so depressed. Really my biggest problem right now is just my gait. If I could walk normally without any hip sway, I would feel 99% normal. Not being able to lift heavy stuff or run is actually not really all that detrimental to my daily life. While I’d like to do sports, going to the gym and lifting weights is plenty of exercise for the time being.
Surgery Week +24, Consolidation Week 7
I think I spoke too soon about my gait improvements last week. I think my gait was noticeably worse at the start of this week, with both hips swaying a bit whenever I walk. I did a lot of hip flexor stretches at PT early in the week in hopes that my gait would be better if my hips were more flexible. It didn’t help much though - there are still no major improvements yet - my left leg is still much weaker than my right leg, but I just can’t seem to find where the weakness that’s causing hip sway is, or how to make those weaker muscles stronger. I have started stretching more, stretching every night before I go to bed and in the middle of the day.
I am continuing to gain a little strength in the muscles and by the last PT session of the week I was able to do the two new hard exercises fairly well. One of them is the one-legged squat with partial weight support, and the other is a one-legged hip hinge bend with a light dumbbell in hand. The PT said that these were supposed to quickly help me improve my gait, but I’m not really seeing it. I can also walk faster on the treadmill; doing 10 minutes at 2.5mph is no problem. My anterior pelvic tilt has also improved quite a bit. I haven’t tried measuring my height in a while (I guess I don’t really care anymore since I already did the surgery) but maybe I’ve unlocked the full gain by now. My flexibility has continued to improve a little. When I’m standing on one leg and bend the other knee I can finally touch that foot with my hand. However, at this point I still can’t touch my heel to my butt yet, either while standing or crouching.
Surgery Week +25, Consolidation Week 8
I had to do a lot of sitting in chairs for the first time since surgery this week, and it looks like the nerve issues in my legs haven't gone away. When I sit for too long, I can still feel streaks of light nerve discomfort running along the inside of my lower legs. It’s on both sides, though a little more intense on the right side. Speaking of nerve issues, my shins are still just as numb as before, but the area of numbness has changed slightly. Up and down my leg it seems to have condensed a bit, but across my leg it seems to have expanded a bit. Of course, I could just be misremembering things since it’s not like I measured or marked the exact location of the shin numbness at any point. I don’t know how any of this works, but if there are changes, hopefully that means things are improving a bit. Sometimes the numbness near my shin hurts a little, but usually I don’t feel anything.
Work finally started easing up a bit this week and I’m switching from three PT sessions a week to two. Now I should definitely have time to take longer walks, which I believe has helped some people on the forum recover faster. The weather is definitely getting nicer outside, and I’m in a pretty good mood in general, even though my gait isn’t perfect. I plan to train harder in the next few weeks now that I have more free time, and I hope my legs are finally good enough to walk without hip sway.
This week was the first time I put on my shoes without sitting in a chair. At first I crouched down to put them on, but then I realized that I could reach my heels with my hands without having to bend my knees a lot. It’s still a bit hard to crouch since I can’t touch my butt to my heels. I basically have to put my hands down first and then lower myself. I obviously can’t squat either so there’s still more work to do there.
Late in the week I hurt my right leg at PT while doing split squats. I went down too far and must have pulled my quadricep muscle or the tendon between my quads and knee or something in that area. For the last few days it has hurt just to weight bear when walking normally. Recovery really isn’t easy.
Recently I accidentally bumped into my boss at a networking event (I say accidentally because I was trying to avoid him but he saw me). The first thing he did when he saw me was to point out that I had a limp. I just said that I had an accident and was still recovering and he didn’t ask for any more details. He’s the first person that I’ve seen since surgery that I know well. I noted in my first journal entry that he is about 6’3” and honestly I couldn’t tell at all that I was any taller than before relative to him. Even after lengthening I barely go up to his nose level lol. Because of this I’m almost completely certain that he didn’t notice I grew taller at all. I’m quite glad he wasn’t able to tell because I definitely don’t feel like explaining anything to him. I’m sure it will be much more apparent once I bump into people who were around my previous or current height.
I got one of the COVID vaccines just before the weekend. I felt fine at first, but I had worked out in the gym the day before and took a long walk in the afternoon after I got the vaccine. By the evening I was feeling so fatigued that I ended up staying in bed all weekend as I could hardly do anything. It’s just another thing hampering my recovery. However, I have to get it sooner or later, and I am going to be meeting friends and family soon so I figured it was the responsible thing to do. However, the fatigue is real and I didn’t have any energy to stretch or work out all weekend.
Surgery Week +26 (Month +6), Consolidation Week 9 (Month +2)
The first few days this week I was still recovering from the vaccine. I almost feel like I regressed a bit from laying in bed so much. For the last few days I had even had trouble walking around indoors. I’m not sure if it’s from the COVID vaccine fatigue or if it was because I was staying in bed and my muscles have atrophied a bit. Maybe it could even be from the knee injury last week. Whatever the reason, my recovery has been pretty slow lately. PT was okay this week. I did two sessions this week and my leg strength definitely seems better now. I can do 110 lbs on the leg press with one leg without struggling very hard. The PT used the hard roller on my IT bands during the last session and it hurt a ton and it still hurts three days later. She probably rolled over the screws.. I should have told her to use less pressure.
Later in the week I tried to train very hard to catch up because I have run out of time to get better. My gait has not improved to the point where it’s unnoticeable; the hip sway is still there. I got another haircut this week and the stylist pointed out that I was limping yet again even though I was trying super hard to walk normal. It was very frustrating to hear. I now think that I was far too confident believing that I could have a normal gait six months after surgery. Maybe catching COVID-19 delayed my recovery more than expected, but I don’t think I would have reached a normal gait by this point even if I was able to train harder.
Soon I will be attending an event where quite a few of my old friends will be present. I haven’t seen any of them in at least a year, so I really hope that none of them will notice that I got taller. If I had perfect gait it would be much less suspicious, but whenever I see my reflection on glass while walking outside it’s very clear that there’s something wrong with my walk. Everyone that I’ve met so far has pointed out that I have a limp and I’m not very confident with my gait.
At least my time in the gym and healthy diet has paid off. I’m leaner than before surgery (around 12% body fat) with a couple more pounds of muscle in my upper body. If anyone says I got taller, I’ll just say it’s an illusion due to lifting weights and looking bigger in general. It doesn’t help that I have a built upper body and skinny legs though; it looks like I’ve been skipping leg day for a year. Also, since I’ll be dressed up for the event, I can also say that I’m wearing lifts, though there aren’t any lifts that would give me this much height. I think it’s amusing that I’d rather admit to wearing lifts than the possibility that I got taller.
I have to visit my parents and hang out with some local friends soon as well. I could continue to delay seeing everyone while working on my gait but it has been too long. With summer coming up and all the holidays and gatherings it’s going to be impossible to socially isolate for much longer and I’ve been hidden away by myself for so long that I don’t think I can take it anymore tbh. Since I’ve seen all these people about six months ago right before my surgery, they’ll all have fresher memories of me at a sub-5’7” height so it’s going to be tougher to explain how I totally didn’t grow all of a sudden. Regardless, I suspect the next update I post will have some interesting anecdotes as I start meeting friends and family for the first time after lengthening. Ah, the things we sacrifice in the name of getting taller...
My gait actually looks okay in the video, especially when I’m walking slower. It’s definitely better than last time and naturally there should be some kind of improvement since it has been over a month. However, it takes a bit of focus to walk like this and it still feels unnatural while I walk. My gait also gets a lot worse after my legs become tired, whether that’s from PT or a long walk outdoors. I also need to warm up a little to get a good gait. When I first stand up in the morning or after sitting for a while my gait is not very good. My flexibility is way better than before and I assume it will continue to improve. I forgot to show my crouch/squat in the video, but I can't reach my heels with my butt yet anyway, so maybe that can be a goal for the next video. Oh, I feel like I improved a little going down stairs this week, though still not yet at the point where I'm comfortable or that it looks fluid.
Going forward I’m planning to stop PT after two more weeks. I hope my next X-ray will show that I’m consolidated enough that I don’t need to get any more X-rays before nail removal. With this I will finally be done with all major CLL expenditures except for nail removal. I will write a journal entry detailing all the ancillary expenses as promised earlier. Other than that I don’t plan to write any updates for a few months. There’s probably not going to be anything interesting happening until I can start jogging. I really don’t feel the urge to update this journal anymore as thinking about LL is taking up a smaller percentage of my daily life as I recover more. I know that I’m going to eventually move on from this phase of my life like most people on the forum, but for now I will still visit the forum sometimes.
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Topic: BelowTheMean – Stryde Femurs w/ Dr. Debiparshad – Nov 2020 (Read 43046 times)