Hey,
I'm sorry for not digging into the details of myself but you guys misunderstood some parts of it. You are right, I was not clear at all.
I've been in a relationship for 2 years. She's incredibly pretty, but she also caused me to have some psychological problems which I'm not gonna explain. (not physique related LOL, she thinks my height is perfect.)
Nobody called me short, I'm not as old as you are. I'm probably half of your age. I hope this does not change how you see me, I'm not a dumb kid. I'm mature for my age. My growth plates are already fused, have not grown since last 2 years. Not even a 1 mm. So please consider all of that.
I've never been bullied or anything, I've always been the "chad" one. There is a thing most of the people don't get. I don't want to do it just because people don't take me seriously, I can't find girls, I can't be social etc. All of them are cool in my life. Just, sometimes I can't be social because I'm too embarassed to stand when there are taller guys than me.
Nobody has guts not to take me seriously irl lol, I seriously don't know why but people tend to respect me. I'm stating, not bragging. I fkn hate myself. Face doesn't mean anything. Height is all that matters.
As I said, nobody ever called me short. Everyone called me the "most handsome guy in this high school". I'm not that type of a person who would care about girls, being taken seriously etc. Because in my whole life, I've never faced to face situations like that.
The thing is, I'm perfectionist. I just hate this life because everything is perfect now, despite my height. This social media crap digged into my brain that tall people are superior. I'm into fashion, I wear good, I have taste. Just following fashion pages on Instagram even made me realise that I cannot pull anything off. I just want to be taller and I could even be the alone guy. I can't imagine how much self confidence I'd have if I were just 4 inches taller. I could feel like the god himself.
There are tons of thoughts, opinions like that from the deepest point of my heart. It's not about anyone. It's about me, myself. I'm pretty sure most of the people won't be able to understand this and will say stuff like "Wow, you seem to have an amazing life, got a great girlfriend, everyone thinks you are handsome, nobody called you short, you need to change your view about your height!"
No, sir. Seriously no. I just want to increase my standarts. I want to be the guy who is cool as hell while walking down the street. I want to be 20 times better than I am now. I'm pretty sure it would change everything. You can't imagine how good I look while standing on my toes and wearing my leather jacket. I stand at 180-181cm while doing it and I swear, everything changes. I do it 10-20 times per day. Wearing my clothes and looking at the mirror. I feel like a stupid crap, then I boost my height; I become fkn perfect.
It's all about "Doing it for myself" kind of an opinion. Nobody could ever change it. I'm sorry for being this stubborn. I need to be taller. Then, I could FINALLY enjoy this fkn unnecessary life.
edit: I see a lot of people want to have this surgery to be short --> average. And I SEE A LOT OF PEOPLE WHO WANT TO BE AVERAGE ---> TALL. I know it'd make a good impact on those people who were short, later they became average. But imagine, I already have a good wingspan, huge hands etc. Why would I not just be a TALL guy? Why? Everything would be perfect.
second edit: If i were like "well my height bothers me, but idc at all meh" type of a guy, you could say that "I should change my point of view" but i'm saying that my height makes me want to KILL MYSELF every single goddamn day.
third edit: I'm not narcist or anything, I just want to be perfect because we only live once. I'm not an egoist guy or something like that, I always see myself as a fkn crap. I just want to be perfect as my standarts.