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Author Topic: I don't know what I'm doing in my life..  (Read 661 times)

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a

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I don't know what I'm doing in my life..
« on: August 07, 2020, 09:18:21 PM »

I'll be in collage next year (I won't be crap if i keep not doing anything for my future) and I have to take an university enterance exam in like 10 months, I'm wasting my whole days on this forum and playing games and talking to my girlfriend on whatsapp all the fkn day long for the past 5 months since the quarantine has begun. and I've seriously lost all my interest in life just because of my goddamn height. I don't even want to be in the collage where everyone is around 178-185 cm and giants like 190cm. It seriously kills me psychologically and I seriously don't even want to study for my exam which I HAVE TO in order to get the money and be financially stable. I just want to kill myself because I just can't do all of this. Study, be in a good collage, get a good job, get LL after YEARS etc. I feel like committing suicide is way too easier than that and I seriously have no will to fight for the things I want. If god made me an offer beetween being +10 cm taller or infinite money i'd definetely choose the first one, that's how desperate I am.

I just wanted to vomit my feelings and wanted to know if anyone here had been the same crap I've been in. I just wanted comments on this situation. Please help me, I don't know how..

Best Regards
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drxboom

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Re: I don't know what I'm doing in my life..
« Reply #1 on: August 07, 2020, 09:51:20 PM »

I am aware that you have been very active on this forum like me lately, if you don't have money and time, throw it out of your head.
or suspend
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ghkid2019

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Re: I don't know what I'm doing in my life..
« Reply #2 on: August 07, 2020, 10:07:43 PM »

This forum is like a double edged sword, in ways, it probably has made me not want to work on myself and accept my height and instead just "wait till I can do LL".

I've spent way too much time on here, but that's obvious when you discover something that literally can change the number one mental issue I have about myself.

Had I not found this forum I would probably be much more accepting of myself. I don't regret finding this forum either, but it has definitely wasted alot of my time and made me fixate on a single surgery as literally like the sole focus and goal of my life.

I personally just need to log off and not come back for a while, don't know if I have the discipline to do that. LL Forumorum is a dopamine machine, but I don't feel good either.

Especially since I'm planning to do this in 5 years, that's way far ahead and like drxboom said, I need to throw this out of my head since I can't afford it currently as of right now. So I'm literally wasting my time here lmao and like what's the point I researched more than enough

One thing that LL Forumorum has given me though, is hope. Hope that I can be comfortable in my body, one day. Not even hope, but more of a guarantee.
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Tartar

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Re: I don't know what I'm doing in my life..
« Reply #3 on: August 07, 2020, 10:13:49 PM »

Get out this forum if you are not going to do the surgery, it’s toxic you need peace in your mind to read stuff here. You are average, you’re are lucky so stop being paranoid and think about this until you’ll go under surgery.
When you do the operation everything is different.
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a

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Re: I don't know what I'm doing in my life..
« Reply #4 on: August 07, 2020, 10:34:17 PM »

I am aware that you have been very active on this forum like me lately, if you don't have money and time, throw it out of your head.
or suspend

Yes. I guess that's what I have to do. I just have to throw it out of my head and build my future instead, then I'll someday be able to achieve this goal If it's possible.
Thanks for your honesty and reply I appreciate it.

This forum is like a double edged sword, in ways, it probably has made me not want to work on myself and accept my height and instead just "wait till I can do LL".

I've spent way too much time on here, but that's obvious when you discover something that literally can change the number one mental issue I have about myself.

Had I not found this forum I would probably be much more accepting of myself. I don't regret finding this forum either, but it has definitely wasted alot of my time and made me fixate on a single surgery as literally like the sole focus and goal of my life.

I personally just need to log off and not come back for a while, don't know if I have the discipline to do that. LL Forumorum is a dopamine machine, but I don't feel good either.

Especially since I'm planning to do this in 5 years, that's way far ahead and like drxboom said, I need to throw this out of my head since I can't afford it currently as of right now. So I'm literally wasting my time here lmao and like what's the point I researched more than enough

One thing that LL Forumorum has given me though, is hope. Hope that I can be comfortable in my body, one day. Not even hope, but more of a guarantee.

That's the actual thing which reduces my will of suicide by like %50. Hope. As you said, not even an actual hope. It's kind of a guarantee.
I just revolt against the life and god (if he is real) since I was not born tall naturally and have to modify my body with a risky, hard, an EXTREME process. Without being able to growing proportionally as my foot, arms, hands etc. (my hands are large af, just get what I mean..) and I just can't accept the fact that height is an excessively significant factor upon the life itself and I'm unable to change it naturally. I just wish I had HGH back in the day but who would know that I was going to have height neurosis. So I'm not blaming it on anyone.
Also, my brother is 14 and he's like 186 cm. I see him EVERYDAY towering me. I'm 20x handsome, confident, distinctive.. I get more attention than him irl. But still, there's a guy in my house who is towering me EVERY single day which causes me to increase the neurosis 20x worse and further. That's why I can't just quit the forum etc. I'm being towered every single day..
Thank you very much for your answer.

Get out this forum if you are not going to do the surgery, it’s toxic you need peace in your mind to read stuff here. You are average, you’re are lucky so stop being paranoid and think about this until you’ll go under surgery.
When you do the operation everything is different.

I know, it's toxic. I'm kinda addicted. All I want is to see people having this surgery, moving on and being happy. Because I want myself to be in that position in the future also.
Also what do you mean by "When you do the operation everything is different" is it something bad or are you trying to cheer me up, like "everything will be fine."
Thank you so much for your reply.

The bestest of my regards to you all.
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Tartar

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Re: I don't know what I'm doing in my life..
« Reply #5 on: August 07, 2020, 10:45:16 PM »

Until you just read here everything is just a dream. At the begin I was sad about my height, it was like a curse. Before surgery for months i yess to pass every day in this forum, reading every kind of post, looking for every kind of picture. When you do it a lot of things change. First of all you appreciate more what you were. Then you see the process as a normal thing, you’re growing and it’s all up to you. I’m more quiet. I check this forum just because I have to stay at home and I pass the day with books and Pc. I think about height problem less than before, even if I have to take care of myself every day obv.
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precice strider

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Re: I don't know what I'm doing in my life..
« Reply #6 on: August 07, 2020, 10:49:31 PM »

This forum is like a double edged sword, in ways, it probably has made me not want to work on myself and accept my height and instead just "wait till I can do LL".

I've spent way too much time on here, but that's obvious when you discover something that literally can change the number one mental issue I have about myself.

Had I not found this forum I would probably be much more accepting of myself. I don't regret finding this forum either, but it has definitely wasted alot of my time and made me fixate on a single surgery as literally like the sole focus and goal of my life.

I personally just need to log off and not come back for a while, don't know if I have the discipline to do that. LL Forumorum is a dopamine machine, but I don't feel good either.

Especially since I'm planning to do this in 5 years, that's way far ahead and like drxboom said, I need to throw this out of my head since I can't afford it currently as of right now. So I'm literally wasting my time here lmao and like what's the point I researched more than enough

One thing that LL Forumorum has given me though, is hope. Hope that I can be comfortable in my body, one day. Not even hope, but more of a guarantee.

Wow, yet another similarity between us.
As I'm starting to realize it's not guaranteed I'll be able to get a completely average height without looking out of wack given I have long legs, LL can certainly complement accepting myself. I feel like it would be easier to accept a post-LL height of 5'7 as opposed to my current height. 5'7 is "short", but just barely and it would probably be easier to fit in.

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Height dysphoria since 2008. (age 5)
Hoping to undergo STRYDE 8cm femurs when I can afford it.
164 cm with a wingspan of 166cm
Goal: 5'7.5 (172+) or taller, but hopefully 5'8 (173)
https://www.instagram.com/precice_strider/

a

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Re: I don't know what I'm doing in my life..
« Reply #7 on: August 07, 2020, 10:59:28 PM »

Until you just read here everything is just a dream. At the begin I was sad about my height, it was like a curse. Before surgery for months i yess to pass every day in this forum, reading every kind of post, looking for every kind of picture. When you do it a lot of things change. First of all you appreciate more what you were. Then you see the process as a normal thing, you’re growing and it’s all up to you. I’m more quiet. I check this forum just because I have to stay at home and I pass the day with books and Pc. I think about height problem less than before, even if I have to take care of myself every day obv.

Hello again,

What are your overall thoughts and experiences about LL? Would you wish to have it earlier or would you wish to accept yourself and never did it in the first place?
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precice strider

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Re: I don't know what I'm doing in my life..
« Reply #8 on: August 08, 2020, 12:06:30 AM »

June 2019: "My growth is already slowing and being this height forever would be horrible. I wonder, is there a surgery like the one in Gattaca that can make you taller?"
*googles "height gain surgery"*
"Eww, pins going through your skin all the way down to the bone for months? I think I'll pass."

September 2019: (sees Dr. Rozbruch's video and the Precice) "I wish I could get it now. 6 inches, that would get me from 5'4 to 5'10. I couldn't give up 3 months of my life now though. Also how will I pay for it?"

January 2020: "There's no way my parents will pay, which means if I'm getting it I will have to pay for it myself after I get a job. 3 inches would be fine, if I reach my dad's height of 5'6 I'll get 5'9 which is average. Also I want it ASAP."

March 2020: Discovers LL forum.



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Height dysphoria since 2008. (age 5)
Hoping to undergo STRYDE 8cm femurs when I can afford it.
164 cm with a wingspan of 166cm
Goal: 5'7.5 (172+) or taller, but hopefully 5'8 (173)
https://www.instagram.com/precice_strider/

a

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Re: I don't know what I'm doing in my life..
« Reply #9 on: August 08, 2020, 04:01:22 PM »

Any more comments?
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Tartar

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Re: I don't know what I'm doing in my life..
« Reply #10 on: August 08, 2020, 05:53:03 PM »

Hello again,

What are your overall thoughts and experiences about LL? Would you wish to have it earlier or would you wish to accept yourself and never did it in the first place?
I’m still in distraction phase so it’s too early to talk about it
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