I am aware that you have been very active on this forum like me lately, if you don't have money and time, throw it out of your head.
or suspend
Yes. I guess that's what I have to do. I just have to throw it out of my head and build my future instead, then I'll someday be able to achieve this goal If it's possible.
Thanks for your honesty and reply I appreciate it.
This forum is like a double edged sword, in ways, it probably has made me not want to work on myself and accept my height and instead just "wait till I can do LL".
I've spent way too much time on here, but that's obvious when you discover something that literally can change the number one mental issue I have about myself.
Had I not found this forum I would probably be much more accepting of myself. I don't regret finding this forum either, but it has definitely wasted alot of my time and made me fixate on a single surgery as literally like the sole focus and goal of my life.
I personally just need to log off and not come back for a while, don't know if I have the discipline to do that. LL Forumorum is a dopamine machine, but I don't feel good either.
Especially since I'm planning to do this in 5 years, that's way far ahead and like drxboom said, I need to throw this out of my head since I can't afford it currently as of right now. So I'm literally wasting my time here lmao and like what's the point I researched more than enough
One thing that LL Forumorum has given me though, is hope. Hope that I can be comfortable in my body, one day. Not even hope, but more of a guarantee.
That's the actual thing which reduces my will of suicide by like %50. Hope. As you said, not even an actual hope. It's kind of a guarantee.
I just revolt against the life and god (if he is real) since I was not born tall naturally and have to modify my body with a risky, hard, an EXTREME process. Without being able to growing proportionally as my foot, arms, hands etc. (my hands are large af, just get what I mean..) and I just can't accept the fact that height is an excessively significant factor upon the life itself and I'm unable to change it naturally. I just wish I had HGH back in the day but who would know that I was going to have height neurosis. So I'm not blaming it on anyone.
Also, my brother is 14 and he's like 186 cm. I see him EVERYDAY towering me. I'm 20x handsome, confident, distinctive.. I get more attention than him irl. But still, there's a guy in my house who is towering me EVERY single day which causes me to increase the neurosis 20x worse and further. That's why I can't just quit the forum etc. I'm being towered every single day..
Thank you very much for your answer.
Get out this forum if you are not going to do the surgery, it’s toxic you need peace in your mind to read stuff here. You are average, you’re are lucky so stop being paranoid and think about this until you’ll go under surgery.
When you do the operation everything is different.
I know, it's toxic. I'm kinda addicted. All I want is to see people having this surgery, moving on and being happy. Because I want myself to be in that position in the future also.
Also what do you mean by "When you do the operation everything is different" is it something bad or are you trying to cheer me up, like "everything will be fine."
Thank you so much for your reply.
The bestest of my regards to you all.