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[precice strider]

Stats:

Asian-American Male
17 years old
5'5" (165cm)

I have suffered from height dysphoria since I was 5 years old. I was always the shortest in my class by a significant amount, and I was teased for it. My worst school experience related to my height happened when I was in first grade, when the class collected data by measuring everyone's heights. Not only was I the only first grader who wasn't at least 4', the teacher even made me be the example one which meant that I was measured twice. Although this was a long time ago, it didn't get much better. I received a lot of "Oh, am I still taller than you even when ____?"  It was at its worst in 6th grade when I was nearly half a foot shorter than everyone else.

I grew slightly faster than average during puberty, which was a great confidence boost for me. One year I grew almost 5". However, I never got to a height I was comfortable with. I was still always more than 3" shorter than most people my age I would meet and it always bothered me.

When I was 13, I watched Gattaca for school. When I saw the part where Vincent lengthens his legs in order to impersonate a taller character, I wondered when or if the surgery would become a real thing.

At 16, my little brother started coming close to my height. He has never shown any discomfort with his height and once made fun of me for having height dysphoria. One time, my mom even told me that I was a bad brother for being self-conscious about it.

It was about this time I found out cosmetic leg lengthening was indeed a real thing. However, the first thing I saw was the external procedures (even though internal existed at the time), which sounded extreme to me.

A few months later, I came across Rozbruch's video:


I found many of Sam's struggles to be relatable. It was at this point I started seriously considering this procedure. Ever since, I have done lots of research and understand the procedure, as well as the risks and commitment.

This is the only cosmetic procedure that I want, have wanted, and will ever want.

I feel worse and worse about my height every day knowing that I'm a day closer to my growth plates closing. I don't get teased as much anymore, but I feel that what I went through has had a permanent impact on my body image.

I'm expected to reach close to my dad's height of 5'6", but I wouldn't be content with that.

It would have a huge impact on my body image and emotional well-being if I could become 5'8" or 5'9", which could be achieved for me by doing 8cm in the femurs. I would do this with the STRYDE and from a reputable doctor, after I move out and get a job.

I'm not a competitive athlete, but I lift weights and enjoy building muscle. I want to continue doing this after I recover, although I understand this may not happen for a year or two.

Do you think that I would be a good candidate? Any feedback would be appreciated.

[ghkid2019]

You are a picture perfect copy of me. Nothing wrong with wanting to do LL, it is one of the only cures for height neurosis. And you're most likely done growing, growth at age 17 get exponentially rarer.

[precice strider]

You are a picture perfect copy of me. Nothing wrong with wanting to do LL, it is one of the only cures for height neurosis. And you're most likely done growing, growth at age 17 get exponentially rarer.

Thanks! I thought I was gone growing at the time as well, until a week ago when I measured myself at 5'5" for the first time. I'd been telling myself 5'4" for the past 6 months before that.

[ghkid2019]

Uhh, hello, are you me? I was also convinced I was 5' 4.xx until I measured one last time recently lol. What the fk

[precice strider]

Uhh, hello, are you me? I was also convinced I was 5' 4.xx until I measured one last time recently lol. What the fk

Interesting. What are you planning on doing with CLL in the future?

[ghkid2019]

Well I'm still in highschool, i just turned 18, graduating in June so I'm not doing cll until I'm like mid 20s, probably going to get it when I'm 26 years old.

I have not even considered ever doing CLL until 5 days ago when I found this forum and discovered stryde lol... Just like you I thought it was external and it looked too barbaric so I never considered it ever, and just sat still contemplating on if life as a short guy would work out in the end. It'll probably work out, but knowing that CLL has improved immensely in the past two years, I'm excited for the future, and I know I don't have to live with height neurosis forever.

I'm definitely going to Paley's no matter what. If somehow I can't, then rozbruch or donghoon Lee. Planning on doing quadrilaterals. Optimistic but we'll see. How about you?

[precice strider]

Depending on my job CLL may be one of the first things I will start saving up for, as well as a car.

If I end up on the west coast, I might consider going to Debiparshad or Mahboubian, flying and staying for 2 weeks following the surgery, and driving to subsequent appointments to keep the cost and time away from work down. Paley, Rozbruch, and Donghoon Lee may be better but I want to avoid losing too much time. Paley requires you to be in his area for 3 months.

If I could pick any height I wanted I would pick 6', since any more than that could make me feel cramped and of course there are disadvantages. Therefore I considered Paley's 6" plan. Then I realized that I would reach a content height by just doing 8cm in the femurs in one surgery, and that likely I would be the one paying. So that's what I would likely do.
 

[ghkid2019]

Honestly, rehab is the most important thing ever. You're not gonna feel it for 3 months to work no matter what, so it doesn't matter. There was a software engineer here who said he couldn't do any cognitive thinking at all until lengthening stopped and consolidation began.

Why try to save a few extra months and a few grand, instead of having a proper and disciplined recovery and better outcome? This is your legs at risk. Many people who go home and slack the fk off and eventually.. 2 years later still not recovered. It's worth the extra few months. Very.

During LL, your number one priority should be recovery, job and money and time are secondary

[precice strider]

Honestly, rehab is the most important thing ever. You're not gonna feel it for 3 months to work no matter what, so it doesn't matter. There was a software engineer here who said he couldn't do any cognitive thinking at all until lengthening stopped and consolidation began.

Why try to save a few extra months and a few grand, instead of having a proper and disciplined recovery and better outcome? This is your legs at risk. Many people who go home and slack the fk off and eventually.. 2 years later still not recovered. It's worth the extra few months. Very.

During LL, your number one priority should be recovery, job and money and time are secondary

Interesting, I might want to become a software engineer. However, I don't know how hard it would be to get a 3 month break for a job like that.

[ghkid2019]

It's not gonna be 3 months, probably at least 5 months minimum. There was a software engineer (Purushrottam) and he had to quit his job, I think he worked at faang too lol. He got an even better job post-LL after a few months and is making like 200k which was 50k more than his old job haha. He made a full financial recovery in 2 years, net worth and loans went back to pre-LL status. Athletic recovery in 2.5 years

This giving me motivation to be a software engineer

[llj]

at your age i would try HGH first , you still squeeze out a inch or two, no?

[precice strider]

at your age i would try HGH first , you still squeeze out a inch or two, no?

I wish I could. Unfortunately I don't have much spending money and it's unlikely my parents would pay for it. Seems less painful than CLL.

[precice strider]

Here's an update.

A few days ago, I talked to a friend over the phone. He's slightly taller than me, but still also relatively short. At one point I mentioned wanting CLL, and he mentioned a few things:

• He says that cosmetic surgery is a poor coping mechanism, and that there are better, healthier ways to handle my height dysphoria.
  
• He doesn't trust that I won't be seeking even more height after my initial hypothetical surgery. He mentioned that many people who get many cosmetic procedures start out thinking they will only get one. Come to think of it, that seems worse than not getting surgery at all.
• He told me that he has had anxiety about his looks before, but no matter how nice he tries to make himself look, he's never happy unless he accepts his body.
• By getting CLL, I'm losing to the people who teased me for being short.
• We're both Christian, so he mentioned that if I "fixed" my body with CLL, does that mean that God made a mistake? I also know a girl with Moebius syndrome from a Christian family (you can google it) who got a mostly cosmetic surgery in order for her to make facial expressions freely. Her community actually raised $41k for it.

At this point I'm unsure if I really can learn to accept my height, but I was happy to finally receive real help for the first time. This led me to reconsider my mentality when it comes to CLL.

Before then I thought I was certain I wanted it, but now I feel like I need to think long and hard before making a commitment.

I will also voluntarily undergo an evaluation with someone like Dr. Rozbruch's psychologist, even if my doctor doesn't require it. I want to make sure that if I do undergo CLL I will be satisfied with my final height.

What else do you think I should do? Also, how often do people seek more height post-CLL?

Any feedback would be appreciated.

[ghkid2019]

Here's an update.

A few days ago, I talked to a friend over the phone. He's slightly taller than me, but still also relatively short. At one point I mentioned wanting CLL, and he mentioned a few things:

• He says that cosmetic surgery is a poor coping mechanism, and that there are better, healthier ways to handle my height dysphoria.
  
• He doesn't trust that I won't be seeking even more height after my initial hypothetical surgery. He mentioned that many people who get many cosmetic procedures start out thinking they will only get one. Come to think of it, that seems worse than not getting surgery at all.
• He told me that he has had anxiety about his looks before, but no matter how nice he tries to make himself look, he's never happy unless he accepts his body.
• By getting CLL, I'm losing to the people who teased me for being short.
• We're both Christian, so he mentioned that if I "fixed" my body with CLL, does that mean that God made a mistake? I also know a girl with Moebius syndrome from a Christian family (you can google it) who got a mostly cosmetic surgery in order for her to make facial expressions freely. Her community actually raised $41k for it.

At this point I'm unsure if I really can learn to accept my height, but I was happy to finally receive real help for the first time. This led me to reconsider my mentality when it comes to CLL.

Before then I thought I was certain I wanted it, but now I feel like I need to think long and hard before making a commitment.

I will also voluntarily undergo an evaluation with someone like Dr. Rozbruch's psychologist, even if my doctor doesn't require it. I want to make sure that if I do undergo CLL I will be satisfied with my final height.

What else do you think I should do? Also, how often do people seek more height post-CLL?

Any feedback would be appreciated.

Going from nearly 5th percentile to just about average won't make you search for any more height. You want to fill the void and feel normal, not gain anything. Very few people are unhappy and get more lengthening. Very few. Obviously if it was as easy as accepting it you wouldn't be on this forum in the first place. It's nice to be all rosy dasy and say things will work itself out and you should just accept it- but it's not even about others. You yourself want to get taller, and we have ways to do that now. Trust me if it was as easy as accepting yourself- men wouldn't go through this  .

No one's losing to the bullies. The only person losing is the unhappy short kid who now is still upset over himself and will remain that way forever.

Oh don't come at me with that God bullcrap. It's fine if you believe, but things definitely are mistakes in life. Bone cancer in infants. Yeah explain that one to me. All part of God's plan to make a baby hooked on pain meds and still suffer and cry 24/7 eh? Whether it's God or nature- the point is that somethings are not good at all. Why the fk would nature birth a male that's 5 inches shorter than the average height leading to years of childhood bullying and destroyed self-esteem- when he can fking make that kid a normal goddamn height? Why the fk we got God giving little boys down syndrome and making their lifespan fking halved while making them practically isolated from society in every way and dependent on others even as adults? Point is-   is unlucky in life. There are very clear and obvious mistakes that God/nature does make. No infant deserves to be in pain 24/7, sure everyone is born with sin and things suck, but try explaining that to the mother of the stage 4 stomach cancer 3 year old baby. Explain how her baby has got so much "sin" and deserves to fking die without spending his childhood or living past 5.

If I am in pain almost daily, from thinking about my height and being so neurotic about it to the point it stops me from being me... fk cares about no fking maintaing naturalness in "God's image". All the respect to you, a Christian, but I don't give a fk what you think God's will is if it means people are living their lives unhappy in their own goddamn body every fking living second of this breathing stupid ass life. Praise the lord, but everyday I self-hate! Praise the lord, I'm just unhappy with myself and there's a solution but if I try to use that solution then I'm a sinner! fk that  .

I'd say 90%+ of people who get LL don't have regrets and don't go for more. Perhaps even more percentage are satisfied in this day and age where complications are rarer and rarer with better methods. And the people that do go for more- usually have planned it in advanced (femurs, then tibias 1 year later paley combo). I don't count that as "wanting more", since they planned that before the first surgery and it's just essentially one journey seperated by a year apart. In fact many Paley people decide to not do a second surgery because femurs was enough and they are satisfied and also don't want to go through the ordeal again. MANY people don't mind about their face or if they're not attractive- they just want to be taller and won't do face surgery or   like that. That saids something about the differences between height insecurity vs face insecurity.

(this forum censors words like sh.it and fu.ck so the above looks messy- i'm not typing it again though)

I'm all for therapy and getting help in every other way before CLL, but anyone who tells you CLL is cope is a fking retard. This is a surgery that changes lives for the better. This is as close to giving people a new revival in life in terms of confidence and self-esteem- a fking rebirth. It's a last resort- but it is a valid resort. Never think that you'll have to stay unhappy forever just to remain "pure".

[Koharu]

ghkid I don't know which country you're in but the healthcare might cover it. I remember when I was young and I had to see a bone specialist and he asked me if I was getting bullied at my school due to my height, I said I wasn't ( I should have lied lol). But I was too young (elementary) to know why my mom wanted me to grow taller and see the specialist. But otherwise, the doctor could write a note and I could have gotten HGH injections covered under healthcare. You might want to look into it.

[ghkid2019]

ghkid I don't know which country you're in but the healthcare might cover it. I remember when I was young and I had to see a bone specialist and he asked me if I was getting bullied at my school due to my height, I said I wasn't ( I should have lied lol). But I was too young (elementary) to know why my mom wanted me to grow taller and see the specialist. But otherwise, the doctor could write a note and I could have gotten HGH injections covered under healthcare. You might want to look into it.

Oh absolutely I know that, I'm an adult now. I am well knowledgeable in HGH and insurance and helped my cousin get it prescribed and covered. Told him to see multiple endocronologists until one wrote a script for it. America.

[Koharu]

Good on you helping your cousin

[bobdlln254]

I also am 5'5, want to get this surgery but I get scared sometimes, everyone always tells me I don't need it but I don't think they would really know unless they were in my shoes.

[precice strider]

I also am 5'5, want to get this surgery but I get scared sometimes, everyone always tells me I don't need it but I don't think they would really know unless they were in my shoes.

I understand that. Responses from people I have mentioned CLL to include:

My mom (5'4): "Boys grow into their 20s, you're probably going to reach 5'8 by then. Also, it's not a very good idea to have a surgery unless you have to."

My dad (5'6): "I'm sorry I passed this gene onto you, but what I think about this surgery is that it seems a bit dangerous just to make you a few inches taller. It would make me sad if you lost a limb and were disabled for the rest of your life over something you didn't have to do."

Female friend from a retreat (5'2): "You're not superrr short, I have friends who are 4'11 (some of who are male). I didn't notice it when I was with you at camp.

Male friend who I met online 5 years ago and then in person about 4 years ago (Haven't met in about 2 years, but he's probably about 5'5-5'7): "I have anxiety about my looks, but no matter how much I make myself look nice, I’m never happy unless I start by accepting my body. And if it helps, I think you look good as yourself. Getting that surgery would be like suk up to everyone who teased you for being short."

Ex-friend(male) from elementary school who previously teased me for my height, who I met on Linkedin a few months ago (Haven't seen him in 7 years but he's probably 5'8-5'11): "I know this is hypocritical coming from me, but I think you should love the way you are."

[Cas]

I understand that. Responses from people I have mentioned CLL to include:

My mom (5'4): "Boys grow into their 20s, you're probably going to reach 5'8 by then. Also, it's not a very good idea to have a surgery unless you have to."

My dad (5'6): "I'm sorry I passed this gene onto you, but what I think about this surgery is that it seems a bit dangerous just to make you a few inches taller. It would make me sad if you lost a limb and were disabled for the rest of your life over something you didn't have to do."

Female friend from a retreat (5'2): "You're not superrr short, I have friends who are 4'11 (some of who are male). I didn't notice it when I was with you at camp.

Male friend who I met online 5 years ago and then in person about 4 years ago (Haven't met in about 2 years, but he's probably about 5'5-5'7): "I have anxiety about my looks, but no matter how much I make myself look nice, I’m never happy unless I start by accepting my body. And if it helps, I think you look good as yourself. Getting that surgery would be like suk up to everyone who teased you for being short."

Ex-friend(male) from elementary school who previously teased me for my height, who I met on Linkedin a few months ago (Haven't seen him in 7 years but he's probably 5'8-5'11): "I know this is hypocritical coming from me, but I think you should love the way you are."

Hobbes, most of these responses are the primary reasons why most people who have CLL keep it as quiet as possible or if they do mention it, they only mention it to their parents and or siblings and that is about it. I understand disclosing to parents and siblings because in most cases, it is a need to know basis if they are an emergency contact or if they are going to be going with you for the surgery for help and support. I know once I have my procedure, I will not be telling anyone that is not close to me as the truth is, it simply isn't any of their business what surgeries I have had or have not had. Especially if I haven't seen them in years and have no plans of reconnecting and a casual "hi" in the street does not count for that. 

[ghkid2019]

If you live your life plagued by neuroticism from thinking about your height in every social interaction, this is more than enough of a reason to do something about it. You can't just tell a PTSD victim to get over their trauma. You can't tell an anorexic person to stop losing weight. You can't just tell a suicidal person to just live.

No one can understand you until they've lived your life from birth to now.