The year leading up to my operation was very difficult. I was in a state of constant flux, consumed by dark thoughts that oscillated between doing LL and not doing LL. I couldn't function as a normal human being until I did some deep reflection and came to peace with my decision to move forward.
Personally it was one of the best decisions of my life. I hesitate to say this because in some ways a statement like that can amplify the height neurosis of whoever reads this. The decision to move forward with this surgery is deeply a personal one. If you're struggling with height neurosis, LL should be the last resort in your journey towards resolution. Here's what I would suggest as a framework in deciding to do LL:
-Reflect on whether the core areas of your life (friends, family, career, wealth, romance, and purpose etc.) are strong and healthy. LL will not fix all of your problems. It can only fix height neurosis and possibly enhance some areas of your life. If you're not satisfied with your life beyond just your height, you will remain unsatisfied after LL. Make sure you have a healthy sense of self worth in all core areas before you do LL.
-Wear lifts for a couple months leading up to your height that puts you at your desired LL height. See how it makes you feel. When you are walking around in your lifts height, do you feel happier, sadder, or the same? Update your virtual identity with your desired LL height. For example, update your dating profile, if you have one, with your LL height. Observe how it's changed, if at all.
-See if you can resolve your height neurosis through therapy. Perhaps try meditation. A much healthier and economical way to resolve height neurosis than LL.
-Ask yourself how important athleticism is to you. If you're like me, a guy who does light workouts at the gym to stay fit....nothing to worry about. However if competitive sports and athleticism are a big part of your life, LL may not be worth it. I've decided, with a conservative estimate, that retaining 80% of my athleticism after LL was something I'd be able to live with.
-Don't worry about what other people think or if they notice you taller. I worried about this a lot and after doing LL I realized it doesn't really matter, people don't really care about you as much as you think they do. And those that really do care for you will love you unconditionally if you did LL anyways. For the rest of them, who cares....
-Plan for the worst and hope for the best in the context of financial, health, and time budgeting. If your operation is $100k, make sure you have at least $200k in savings. One thing is for certain with LL, it will not turn out how you planned. There will be unexpected costs, unexpected changes in recovery timeline, etc. At the very least this is a 6 month journey, a lot can happen in that time frame, you could lose a job, lose a romantic partner, lose friends, expect the world to change and move on. You need to have a security blanket and the ability to support yourself independently in a world of uncertainty of outcome.
-Make sure you are mentally strong. This journey will test you. Beyond just the physical pain. Isolation. Solitude. Lack of sleep. It can break you down. Don't set goals, set systems and good habits that allow you to chip away at LL day by day. Remember you are voluntarrily breaking your legs and stretching your bones and soft tissue. This is no walk in the park. It's all about the mindset and shifting your perspective to one that's positive when every day feels dark.
I hope you are able to make it through your journey, whatever that may be, and escape this state of limbo. I remember how hard it was for me. Wish you the best.
