Day 7: And so it begins. I did my first lengthening today, My erc is programmed for 0.5mm per session and I will be doing 2 sessions per day. I’ve now done only 1 session, have another in a couple of hours. I felt some tingling during the process but I’m not sure if that was just my “nerves”. Ironically I have the latest Stryde nail...but I understand that I have the 1st generation erc. It’s in a huge suitcase, looks like it is out of an 80s movie and would be used to activate a nuclear bomb. I guess it doesn’t matter but I understand the newer ercs are a little more sleek. No extra pain after, we’ll see how that changes day to day with any post lengthening aching. The tech/rep who brought the erc says I’m looking really good, knee flexibility much better today so that was encouraging.
I hit a wall last night, lack of sleep for a week combined with the emotions of over 30 years of surgeries and dealing with this, combined with all the deja vu of the recovery journey I’m on...and I just broke down and sobbed, mostly by myself. People on this journey come from all different places in life...age, gender, country, economics, religion, family situation, etc. Those factors combined with ones own personal reasons for doing this and sometimes it’s hard to have empathy for others. I can tell you, as a person with a lifetime trauma journey, one thing that just drains me is the feeling of “here we go again”. That was the wall I hit last night. If anyone can go on a journey like this and not hit a wall, you’re a stronger person than I. But you have to learn to get over the wall or the journey won’t succeed.Maybe in some future diaries I’ll share some more about this...