I read through your diary and you once mentioned that nail on of your legs had left almost no bone left on one side due to reaming. Did you ask the doctor about this?
I've never said that
Yes, the upper end of my right femur looks very thin on X-rays. I don't know why. Dr. Paley said not to worry. Other bone doctors I've asked said the same. I haven't asked for a second opinion from another CLL surgeon yet though.
I see in your video of the pool that you walk a little weird, with your knees in a bit can be?
I also see your legs very very thin, with hardly any muscle.
Is this because I was in wheelchair for about 4 months or were you like this before the process?
You run? Do you go down and climb stairs properly? How about squats on the floor (squatting)?
You lost range of knee flexion?
Not sure what "with your knees in a bit" means, but yes, I was walking a little weird. I still do, though less. Read below. I've started to re-gain leg muscle. Squats with heavy weight help, but I'm increasing the weight very gradually. I used to squat 5x5x275lbs before the surgery.
Here's an update on my blog -
Seven months post CLL surgery.
Semi-formatted version below because this
old forum doesn't support pasting formatted text.
Today marks 7 months since my last surgery, the insertion of the PRECICE rods in my femurs. Thought I'd give an update.
TimelineIt's been 4 months since I stopped using the wheelchair (about a month after I stopped lengthening), and about 3 months of walking unaided. I haven't exercised as much as I should - only 2-3 times a week.
Progress* The swelling in my legs has been gone for over a month
* I can squat with weights, and with far less pain. I can front squat 10 sets of 10 reps with a 50 lbs kettlebell.
* I can climb stairs without problems, and go down stairs, but slower than usual.
* I can jog, but only for about 20 seconds
* I can run on Precor treadmills for ~5 minutes at setting "5" (I should look up what speed that actually is).
Limitations* My
right knee hurts when I get up from a squat (3-4/10). The pain hasn't diminished for the last month, and got a little worse after I've done a bunch more walking over the last week. The area right below the kneecap feels different on the right knee - there's a noticeable dent when I touch it. The very top of the tibia hurts as if I banged my knee into a piece of furniture. Dr. Paley had said that permanent knee pain is a rare complication post-CLL, but I might just have it
* I can't run
* Perceptive people can tell I'm walking weird
How I feelI see the world a bit differently. The difference in height is perceivable. I'm taller or about the same height as most women. I haven't tried any dating, so I don't know how that side of life would be impacted, but in general, at work and around random people at conferences, I feel more their equal. Being taller than women just feels good - it's as things are meant to be; or rather - being shorter than most women felt annoying and weird before the surgery.
It's funny that even though I know what it's like to be short, I can't help but feel somehow "superior" over shorter people at work (unless they're in a higher role than me, but I haven't actually met a manager shorter than me yet). So yes, the heightism bias turns out to be real in me, a rational software engineer, in one of the most "rational" of all places (Silicon Valley), who also used to be short!
When I meet a peer who's shorter, I have a tiny bit of trouble taking him seriously, unless I'm already impressed by his reputation. Seeing eye to eye with other men feels good. This may be a coincidence, or the result of having worked in my job for several years, but I've also just led a large project for the first time, and was assigned to lead another large one.
I was quite enthusiastic about that large project, and during a work trip to complete it, I was a lot more friendly to people. My attitude was picked up by Uber/Lyft drivers, who chatted me up more than usual (or maybe drivers in that city are more friendly?).
All in all, I can't say for sure it's the height, or other aspects of life that make me feel more confident, but I do feel better about myself now, even though I walk with a slight limp, and I might be left with permanent knee pain. Was it worth $200k? It depends on what $200k means to you. To me, it means paying back debts to the tune of $5k/month. From that perspective, it was
not worth it - especially if the right knee pain doesn't go away after I take out the rods, or if I'm never able to run again.