Before LL my height neurosis got so bad (after building up for more than five years, since sophomore year high school through the end of college) that I started mentioning suicide too. I never actually planned suicide, but I did hurt myself physically. I hit myself because I was feeling totally worthless and desperate. Looking back at it now, it seems so far away, but I'm ashamed to say it really happened. I'll be honest about it. LL has solved my psychological problem altogether. It's gone. I feel normal now. I feel a "healthy" level of confidence that has changed the way I treat people; I'm kinder, I smile much more often, I'm helpful and grateful. I'm grateful for the things I have; health, family and friends. I have become a better son and grandson. I feel like how I'm supposed to be, like a man, moreso like a human being. I have a healthy self respect, not cky or overconfident, but feet on the ground. I'll start working and making money in a short while and I feel happy that I'll be able to take care of my family now, just as they took care of me when I needed them the most. I've worked before, but part time. This will be my first full time job after college and I'm already excited. Life is good, it's a gift, and it takes time and experience for an individual to start appreciating it.
Being in major depression doesn't mean that you're deemed unfit for LL. This is indeed true for some people, but unlike the way some people said "Your psychological problems will continue after LL, you'll find some other thing to bother yourself about" before my surgery, LL has fixed all my psychological problems. I knew it would. My body felt like a prison and it doesn't anymore. One wouldn't understand what I mean by this unless they've been in the same situation. I was in a difficult mental condition, and I knew the way out all from the beginning. I just had to convince others.
Anyone can go through depression and hard times. We're all human. Every single case is very individual and one must find the way out by asking and guiding themselves.
Look, I'm 172 cm-ish now. Some people want to do their first LL at that height or at a taller height. I'm still not "tall". But I feel okay. I don't need to be tall. I just needed to feel "normal". (I'm not saying "short is abnormal", I would never make such a shallow claim - all I'm saying is how I used to feel and how it changed).
I read a Turkish forum everyday and they occasionally open threads bashing short men there. It's a disgrace. I used to feel angry everytime I read things like that. Now it's a distant memory and it just makes me feel sad the way how shallow some people are, and how it hurts other people's feelings so much. So I PM them and tell them why their posts are such disgraceful, and I try to make them understand.
Kudos to all people who are strong enough to endure this, and I appreciate them for not caring about what other people think about them. I have the same mental frame right now, but I had to go through certain things to obtain it.
This is not a success story or a heroic journey, and I'm not a role model. I'm a very ordinary guy who has actually started to enjoy being a very ordinary guy, blending in with the crowd with ease and sharing our journey together that is life.
@HK
Thank you for sharing your information regarding patients having troubles even with the best doctors. I hadn't heard about these cases before. Please share any updates about their situation if you hear anything new about them. I really hope they can make the best recovery as soon as possible.
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Topic: What would you do if you became permanently disabled? (Read 14178 times)