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Author Topic: Is LL an irrational decision?  (Read 16645 times)

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James24

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Is LL an irrational decision?
« on: December 26, 2016, 07:24:06 PM »

I've been accused of thinking irrationally about deciding to undergo LL to cure my Height Dysphoria

They say i'm young and that i'll grow out of it or i'll end up accepting/embracing myself.
I doubt that because a year of Therapy hasn't worked, and i've been suffering for about 3 years now, with it getting worse every day.

thinking about this surgery is my "happy-place" whenever i breakdown.
I tend to think of it , i have high hopes.. but people around me seem to shatter them.
It is a dream to me.. It's an escape from being so caught up with useless worries.. I hate worrying about my height. But it's as if there's someone else within me, that just wants to destroy me. it's just not in my hands to decide whether to worry about it or not

I'm not stupid for wanting to fulfill one of my dreams, Am I? Even though it may damage me financially.
No one in my family supports me in this decision. And i'm starting to feel extremely depressed because LL was my only key to happiness... I just can't seem to be at peace unless i fulfill this deeming wish.

Please tell me that LL is a rational decision for young people who are depressed and have Height Dysphoria..
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guichethope

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Re: Is LL an irrational decision?
« Reply #1 on: December 26, 2016, 08:06:46 PM »

It is ! But ..... we have do do it smart ! It must not prevent us to live our lifes . Think about all the consequences that can happen . For my part I am really worried about cancer and fat  embolism that could happen ( not sure at all for cancer , I'm a bit paranoic ) . Think , take your time , don't screwd up your life . Make money and then do it smart if you think it's worth it . For me if I was 177 or 176 I would never thought about this but I'm a 170 so .... I'm only 19 and i count to do it when I'll be 21 femur and 22 tibs or the opposite ( no one will know ) . But live your life till you get the damn money . Advice wear lift If you're so bad ( till the surgerie )
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CaptainAmerica

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Re: Is LL an irrational decision?
« Reply #2 on: December 26, 2016, 08:24:09 PM »

Not at all. Not for males under 5'6.

See this:
https://www.reddit.com/r/short/comments/4q6h7g/4_month_tinder_drought/

Guy went months swiping right on everyone and never even got a single match.

Society is becoming more and more concerned with how you look. The dynamics of dating are shifting, due to things like social media and Tinder. Young women today would rather be caught dead than post a photo with a short dude on social media, or be seen walking with one.

If you're under 5'6, it will be exponentially more difficult to get ANY female attention. Under 5'10? You don't need it, but it would really help.

If you're 5'10+ just wear good sneakers or slide 2cm lifts under the soles, say you're 6', and call it a day.

Of course, if you're older than 30, this all changes. Women will be less picky and willing to settle down. They'll care less about society's judgement and you'll have more of a chance no matter how short you are.

But I'm not going to spend my prime years celibate over a few inches. And I'm only 18 (stopped growing at 15) and I'm already so sick of the just be confident and successful facade. It's a coin toss that sometimes works, but it takes too long, and it still doesn't dismiss the issue entirely. I just want a girl to naturally like me upon first seeing me, no games about it.

With every 2 inches of height gained, the risk of suicide in males goes down a whole 9%.
https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/it-sucks-to-be-a-short-guy-511

Girls aside, being a short man intrinsically sets you up for a lack of respect anywhere you go. Especially if you want to participate in the upper-tiers of society, good luck. Whenever I've gone to the opera house, a nice restaurant, or the VIP lounge at an airport. Guess what? Average height was 6'1 easily. I feel like a freaking kid walking around. People don't take me seriously at those places, and I don't blame them, the juxtaposition is almost comical.

For most people, who lengthen conservatively (5cm maximum on each segment) and who have realistic expectations about their mobility afterwards, this surgery could really boost your quality of life.
« Last Edit: December 26, 2016, 09:02:34 PM by CaptainAmerica »
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Pope

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Re: Is LL an irrational decision?
« Reply #3 on: December 26, 2016, 08:30:13 PM »

Definitely irrational. I think if we didn't know that leg lengthening was possible, we wouldn't be obsessing about our height- that we would come to accept it. But we do, and most of us see it as a cure for ourselves. If you truly believe this is the answer to cure your height dysphoria and are willing to undergo through the stresses of LL, then do it man! We have one life and we should fulfill whatever we can. Other people don't understand what goes on through our minds and what we have to suffer through. So of course they would think we're insane. Fulfill your dream man, just do it safely and if there's a financial issue, try to save more and work harder until you feel you can handle it. LL isn't an easy goal but very possible if you're determined! Good luck with everything!
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DreamOf180cm

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Re: Is LL an irrational decision?
« Reply #4 on: December 26, 2016, 08:54:18 PM »

How tall are you? I think if you're below average and you spend A LOT of energy thinking about height and you get depressed over it, by all means LL will help. Not irrtational imo, you only have one life and you should do everything you can to have a GOOD LIFE!
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Alu

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Re: Is LL an irrational decision?
« Reply #5 on: December 26, 2016, 08:54:49 PM »

For guys under 5'7 I always say yes. Anything over is all about a cost benefit analysis.

Although, I will admit, despite my goal to do so... it's not rational thing to do considering all the lose of time and money, among the more permanent body chances. But again, it's just a cost benefit analysis, and if you don't ever try to take the easy way out (go to cheap doctors) it can be a rational decision after all.

But last thing, while it's certainly important to not get lost in your own thoughts... if you're asking me to validate your thoughts I'd say your not in the best place mate. Especially reading your post man... not going to lie even for me, a year ago when I was at my worst I don't think I was ever as bad as you, and I'm 8 cm shorter than you.
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James24

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Re: Is LL an irrational decision?
« Reply #6 on: December 26, 2016, 09:11:22 PM »

How tall are you? I think if you're below average and you spend A LOT of energy thinking about height and you get depressed over it, by all means LL will help. Not irrtational imo, you only have one life and you should do everything you can to have a GOOD LIFE!

I am 5'6.. 168cm

When you capitalized "A LOT of energy".. i couldn't agree more.
90% of my freaking youth is wasted on stressing over this useless problem. I'm getting sick of it.

I am actually depressed. I don't eat properly. I can't sleep without crying once (Yes, as embarrassing as it may seem, i will point this out so you can understand what i'm going through) and I've fallen back in studies.

I've tried to be strong. I've tried to not care.. It just seems to be getting worse and worse, day by day.

I believe LL is irrational but it will definitely turn things around for me..
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It's not about how tall you are in the eyes of the world, It's about how you feel about yourself as an individual.

James24

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Re: Is LL an irrational decision?
« Reply #7 on: December 26, 2016, 09:15:24 PM »

Not at all. Not for males under 5'6.

See this:
https://www.reddit.com/r/short/comments/4q6h7g/4_month_tinder_drought/

Guy went months swiping right on everyone and never even got a single match.

Society is becoming more and more concerned with how you look. The dynamics of dating are shifting, due to things like social media and Tinder. Young women today would rather be caught dead than post a photo with a short dude on social media, or be seen walking with one.

If you're under 5'6, it will be exponentially more difficult to get ANY female attention. Under 5'10? You don't need it, but it would really help.

If you're 5'10+ just wear good sneakers or slide 2cm lifts under the soles, say you're 6', and call it a day.

Of course, if you're older than 30, this all changes. Women will be less picky and willing to settle down. They'll care less about society's judgement and you'll have more of a chance no matter how short you are.

But I'm not going to spend my prime years celibate over a few inches. And I'm only 18 (stopped growing at 15) and I'm already so sick of the just be confident and successful facade. It's a coin toss that sometimes works, but it takes too long, and it still doesn't dismiss the issue entirely. I just want a girl to naturally like me upon first seeing me, no games about it.

With every 2 inches of height gained, the risk of suicide in males goes down a whole 9%.
https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/it-sucks-to-be-a-short-guy-511

Girls aside, being a short man intrinsically sets you up for a lack of respect anywhere you go. Especially if you want to participate in the upper-tiers of society, good luck. Whenever I've gone to the opera house, a nice restaurant, or the VIP lounge at an airport. Guess what? Average height was 6'1 easily. I feel like a freaking kid walking around. People don't take me seriously at those places, and I don't blame them, the juxtaposition is almost comical.

For most people, who lengthen conservatively (5cm maximum on each segment) and who have realistic expectations about their mobility afterwards, this surgery could really boost your quality of life.

I've stopped growing at 14.

And i'm not concerned about the women man.. I have no interest in getting feedback from others. I honestly do not care what others say..

I do not like being inferior to others. I don't feel like a man, i feel like a little kid as you said.
I feel small, useless.. all that "gain some confidence" is B.S, it does not solve the problem at all.. just makes you forget it for a while before it jumps up right back at you again.

Also, i don't believe i'll ever "grow out of it" because an insecurity tends to stay with you until the day you die. you just learn how to conceal it, and then end up sobbing alone where no one sees.
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DreamOf180cm

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Re: Is LL an irrational decision?
« Reply #8 on: December 26, 2016, 09:17:53 PM »

James24 - I know how you feel, there are times where I cry as well. My high school years went by like   because of my height. Honestly just listen to yourself, if you think you need it, then you probably do. I've already promised myself when I was 15-16 that I would get this done one way or another. I'm 19 atm and I think I will try to do it in 1-2 years.
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CaptainAmerica

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Re: Is LL an irrational decision?
« Reply #9 on: December 26, 2016, 09:18:06 PM »

I am 5'6.. 168cm

When you capitalized "A LOT of time".. i couldn't agree more.
90% of my freaking youth is wasted on stressing over this useless problem. I'm getting sick of it.

I am actually depressed. I don't eat properly. I can't sleep without crying once (Yes, as embarrassing as it may seem, i will point this out so you can understand what i'm going through) and I've fallen back in studies.

I've tried to be strong. I've tried to not care.. It just seems to be getting worse and worse, day by day.

I believe LL is irrational but it will definitely turn things around for me..

Is it irrational to want to not be ostracized from society or social circles because you're shorter than everyone else there? Is it irrational to want to prevent your genes from dying out in the gene pool?

Beyond that, why do you think it is irrational? And why even bother calling it that. Do you want it? Good. Who cares whether it's rational or not. Many of the successful people in this world (Ford, Wright brothers, Jobs) were told that their ideas were irrational.

This is your life, you have to endure it. Do exactly what you want with it but always know the weight of the decisions you make.
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James24

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Re: Is LL an irrational decision?
« Reply #10 on: December 26, 2016, 09:24:45 PM »

Is it irrational to want to not be ostracized from society or social circles because you're shorter than everyone else there? Is it irrational to want to prevent your genes from dying out in the gene pool?

Beyond that, why do you think it is irrational? And why even bother calling it that. Do you want it? Good. Who cares whether it's rational or not. Many of the successful people in this world (Ford, Wright brothers, Jobs) were told that their ideas were irrational.

This is your life, you have to endure it. Do exactly what you want with it but always know the weight of the decisions you make.

Damn man.. you really brightened up my day. I don't know how else to thank you.
Yes, I do know the weight of every choice I want to make.
I always, "always" do my research, weigh out the pros & cons, and then come to a conclusion.

I will do everything i can to make this happen. Thank you. :)
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James24

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Re: Is LL an irrational decision?
« Reply #11 on: December 26, 2016, 09:27:11 PM »

James24 - I know how you feel, there are times where I cry as well. My high school years went by like crap because of my height. Honestly just listen to yourself, if you think you need it, then you probably do. I've already promised myself when I was 15-16 that I would get this done one way or another. I'm 19 atm and I think I will try to do it in 1-2 years.

You go man.. You do what you wanna do.
Don't let anyone discriminate you for it.

I may too, do it in the next 1-2 years.
I had an appointment with my surgeon today and he say's i'm very much qualified, although he recommends to wait another 6 months just to be sure if i may change my mind or not.

Hey, buddy, if you want to get it done, Go somewhere you trust. wish you the best man. :) thanks
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James24

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Re: Is LL an irrational decision?
« Reply #12 on: December 26, 2016, 09:30:18 PM »

It is ! But ..... we have do do it smart ! It must not prevent us to live our lifes . Think about all the consequences that can happen . For my part I am really worried about cancer and fat  embolism that could happen ( not sure at all for cancer , I'm a bit paranoic ) . Think , take your time , don't screwd up your life . Make money and then do it smart if you think it's worth it . For me if I was 177 or 176 I would never thought about this but I'm a 170 so .... I'm only 19 and i count to do it when I'll be 21 femur and 22 tibs or the opposite ( no one will know ) . But live your life till you get the damn money . Advice wear lift If you're so bad ( till the surgerie )

Thanks man, 170 ain't so bad.
Again, It's not about how tall you are, it's about how you feel about yourself :)

Argh yes.. the damn money. Biggest issue so far.

Yeah, i must take my time. no rush.
I have thought it about it for months now.. I'm ready to wait another year just to make sure i'll be confident in my decision by then :)
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YourSpaceBoyfriend

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Re: Is LL an irrational decision?
« Reply #13 on: December 26, 2016, 10:12:19 PM »

No one in my family supports me in this decision.

Hah, i didn't even dare to tell anybody about this, the amount of crapstorm i could get from it...

Again, It's not about how tall you are, it's about how you feel about yourself :)

Ye but you gotta remember what you should actually change and if it's actually worth it.

I am actually depressed. I don't eat properly. I can't sleep without crying once (Yes, as embarrassing as it may seem, i will point this out so you can understand what i'm going through) and I've fallen back in studies.

I've tried to be strong. I've tried to not care.. It just seems to be getting worse and worse, day by day.

I believe LL is irrational but it will definitely turn things around for me..

Go to a shrink, seriously. Especially if you have problems with eating and sleeping.

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guichethope

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Re: Is LL an irrational decision?
« Reply #14 on: December 26, 2016, 10:18:35 PM »

hell yeah  ;)
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onemorefoot

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Re: Is LL an irrational decision?
« Reply #15 on: December 26, 2016, 10:58:28 PM »

Some people here say if I were x height I wouldnt think about LL, but the x person thinks in the same way. This is not an irrational decision, irrational would be staying suffering knowing that there is a solution. The only real problem is money not fat embolism, we are not in the 90's, when this was fatal. Of course If someone is very intelligent and get 20 cm in one go, fat embolism should be the last concern.
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James24

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Re: Is LL an irrational decision?
« Reply #16 on: December 26, 2016, 11:01:14 PM »

Some people here say if I were x height I wouldnt think about LL, but the x person thinks in the same way. This is not an irrational decision, irrational would be staying suffering knowing that there is a solution. The only real problem is money not fat embolism, we are not in the 90's, when this was fatal. Of course If someone is very intelligent and get 20 cm in one go, fat embolism should be the last concern.

Very very true.. thank you :)
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YourSpaceBoyfriend

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Re: Is LL an irrational decision?
« Reply #17 on: December 26, 2016, 11:05:12 PM »

Some people here say if I were x height I wouldnt think about LL, but the x person thinks in the same way. This is not an irrational decision, irrational would be staying suffering knowing that there is a solution. The only real problem is money not fat embolism, we are not in the 90's, when this was fatal. Of course If someone is very intelligent and get 20 cm in one go, fat embolism should be the last concern.

But things like that have it's own rational barriers.

TIBIKE once gave a good example of anorectic person which wants to lose even more weight.
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Chris

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Re: Is LL an irrational decision?
« Reply #18 on: December 26, 2016, 11:31:26 PM »


To me, LL is definitely not an irrational decision.

My height made me a social misfit.
I'm suicidal (with one attempt) because of constant exclusion and discrimination.
LL is my personal and only way out.
I've been totally open with it and I have full support of my family and I will not shut up about it until I'm done remaking myself.
I've talked to A LOT of my classmates at university and to the few but real friends I have to prepare them for what's going to happen.
It was a lot of time-consuming work but it was totally worth it in the end.
Most of them thought I was nuts at first but after confronting them with hard facts and explanations everyone found my decision rational.
The girls seemed to understand quicker why I'm going to do it. Some ladies even expressed their full support and called me brave.

Their positive reactions are my confirmation that my life issues caused by my height are real and it would be irrational to not do leg lengthening.


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onemorefoot

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Re: Is LL an irrational decision?
« Reply #19 on: December 27, 2016, 12:09:53 AM »

Height dysphoria is complex and I think can happen to anyone in some contexts. Correct me if I am wrong, but I read about some users above 180 cm who experimented that disorder. I cant tell for sure if that was irrational or not(maybe their context was taller than average), but if they feel annoyed they have to solve it soon, here comes the worst thing: until now the only real solution is LL. Go to a psycholo could have helped, I dont know if someone of the tallest dudes here chose that.
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YourSpaceBoyfriend

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Re: Is LL an irrational decision?
« Reply #20 on: December 27, 2016, 12:21:59 AM »

And there are 40kg people thinking they are still too fat, now you get the idea?

And no, LL is not the only real solution when you are 180cm, probably it's not even height dysphoria but self-esteem issues. Both of them can be cured with antidepressants.
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onemorefoot

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Re: Is LL an irrational decision?
« Reply #21 on: December 27, 2016, 01:48:03 AM »

The little difference is this: the risks for this surgery for someone who is 6 1" are the same than someone who is 4 11". If an anorexic person is satisfied he/she can die. But the general idea you say, in fact, is correct. wheter the thing you say about antidepressants is correct, I will consider them.
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jbc

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Re: Is LL an irrational decision?
« Reply #22 on: December 27, 2016, 02:37:57 AM »

The little difference is this: the risks for this surgery for someone who is 6 1" are the same than someone who is 4 11". If an anorexic person is satisfied he/she can die. But the general idea you say, in fact, is correct. wheter the thing you say about antidepressants is correct, I will consider them.

Depends on the risks. See below:

"The risks of the procedure are no greater if you are taller. The risk, theoretically, should be less since the percent increase in length of a longer bone is less." - Dr. Dror Paley

http://www.paleyinstitute.org/centers-of-excellence/stature-lengthening-center/what-is-stature-lengthening

To address the original question - is CLL irrational? First, a small tangent: CLL is slowly but certainly becoming a more widely-accepted practice, and society's views on altering the human body are changing. Please keep in mind that once upon a time cosmetic braces were frowned upon. And not too long ago, so were breast implants. Both are now widely accepted by our society.

Taking the above into account, the difference between rational and irrational is not whether to do the procedure, but your approach to CLL. A rational approach would be to consult with several surgeons, do plenty of due diligence, weigh your options and tradeoffs (what are you giving up for this, vs. what you think you will gain), take your pre-op training and conditioning seriously, do not lengthen to absurd amounts, engage a competent orthopedic surgeon with a proven track record of success in CLL, and keep safety as your number one priority, not getting taller. The latter should be an outcome of the procedure, not a priority. The priority is that you leave the hospital as healthy and safe as you arrived, only taller.

Most important, sit down with your family doctor who knows your medical history. If they show any bias, ask them to please set it aside and give you a medically relevant opinion based on science and your particular medical history on whether CLL would be right for you. I've done all of the above and my Dr's input, medical knowledge and help in researching different methods and surgeons greatly affected my decision, including ultimately my choice of surgeon.

An irrational approach would be pretty much the opposite of this, in which case you are not ready for CLL.

My .02 and FWIW.
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TIBIKE200

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Re: Is LL an irrational decision?
« Reply #23 on: December 27, 2016, 10:21:22 AM »

Its irrational if you think that it will have any benefit besides getting women. Its also irrational if you think that you must be 180+ in order to get a woman...

Talking as a 5'7 guy.
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James24

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Re: Is LL an irrational decision?
« Reply #24 on: December 27, 2016, 10:43:18 AM »

Its irrational if you think that it will have any benefit besides getting women. Its also irrational if you think that you must be 180+ in order to get a woman...

Talking as a 5'7 guy.

The goal isn't getting women though.. well atleast in my case.
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TIBIKE200

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Re: Is LL an irrational decision?
« Reply #25 on: December 27, 2016, 10:47:33 AM »

The goal isn't getting women though.. well atleast in my case.

So try to find out why you want this.. You are Persian no? Iranians arent tall....
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Premedlegs1994

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Re: Is LL an irrational decision?
« Reply #26 on: December 27, 2016, 11:26:31 AM »

it is an irrational decision if you don't research the surgeon you are going to get LL done with enough.

I researched about Dr. Paley a lot and was thinking of saving enough money to get surgery with him in 4-5 years. But I have found a lot of stuff on him that is not on this forum. Do your own research man when looking for a doctor.

I have narrowed my doctor research to:
Dr. Guichet if I want internal femurs done
or
Dr. Solomin + Dr. Kulesh for external tibias (but i have heard its very hard to get a visa if you are from united states)
Dr. Catagni (very well respected surgeon in Italy)

Dr. Mangal Parihar from India is the only doctor I would suggest for internal femurs if you cannot afford Dr. Guichet.
But beware of India. There is no such thing as lawsuit. The whole court system is corrupt. India is corrupt. You can literally be left disabled due to negligence of the doctor and the doctor will get away with it and keep his license.

How do I know this? I am Indian. There is a lot of corrupt stuff going on there. I would avoid at all costs but if you HAVE to go there, I would suggest Dr. Parihar.






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IwannaBeTaller

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Re: Is LL an irrational decision?
« Reply #27 on: December 27, 2016, 11:37:31 AM »

The little difference is this: the risks for this surgery for someone who is 6 1" are the same than someone who is 4 11". If an anorexic person is satisfied he/she can die. But the general idea you say, in fact, is correct. wheter the thing you say about antidepressants is correct, I will consider them.

The surgery, because of its magnitude and consequences, should only be done by very, very desperate people. People who suffer greatly because of their height. It's not a nose job, it can potentially destroy your physical health. To be desperate for being 1,85 is objectively irrational.
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YourSpaceBoyfriend

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Re: Is LL an irrational decision?
« Reply #28 on: December 27, 2016, 03:23:33 PM »

The surgery, because of its magnitude and consequences, should only be done by very, very desperate people. People who suffer greatly because of their height. It's not a nose job, it can potentially destroy your physical health. To be desperate for being 1,85 is objectively irrational.

Seriously risk of ending up on a wheelchair for few cm's when you are already 5'11? Hell nah.
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IwannaBeTaller

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Re: Is LL an irrational decision?
« Reply #29 on: December 27, 2016, 03:28:55 PM »

Seriously risk of ending up on a wheelchair for few cm's when you are already 5'11? Hell nah.

That's why I said it's irrational. Although I think the risk of being in a wheelchair is really small, because you're not disconnecting the nerves on your spine. At worst you will suffer from pain issues and reduced mobility, while still being able to walk.
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It's a long way to find peace of mind, peace of mind
It's a long way to find peace of mind, peace of mind.

jbc

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Re: Is LL an irrational decision?
« Reply #30 on: December 27, 2016, 07:37:21 PM »


I researched about Dr. Paley a lot and was thinking of saving enough money to get surgery with him in 4-5 years. But I have found a lot of stuff on him that is not on this forum. Do your own research man when looking for a doctor.


If you have something concrete to share about Dr. Paley, the entire forum, myself included, would appreciate it. If you do not, please do not slander (this goes for any Dr., not just Dr. Paley).

That said, I'd love to know what you found that I could not, I dug pretty deep, with the help of another Dr.
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