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[BiggestProblem]

So basically I love this girl. We have known eachother for a year but only started hanging out 1 month ago due to her anxiety. Ever since the day we first had sex I felt like I could postpone the LL surgery forever. But she had to cut it off because she is too depressed. As soon as it ended I cried for 6 hours in a row and all I had on my mind was LL.

Is it like that for you guys too? When your mental status is bad you feel more inclined to do the surgery?

[Alu]

Yes and no. I've never had a long term relationship/feelings for one particular girl that lasted more than 1 year. That's just in my nature though. I'm generally a very caring guy, but one who always likes to keep his distance and be behind an emotional barrier due to many people coming and going in my life. Another reason is that I don't want to fall in love with someone as that would make my decision to justify LL more awkward: not to me, but to her.

Also, yes I've thought about how if I were to be in a long term relationship I could in theory just move on from LL as my priorities would shift drastically. Sort of the transitional mindset people have when they become parents; it's not just about you anymore.

Specifically to you, yes emotional distress that isn't necessary just related to height can make you more inclined to think about LL.

However, and this is some advice, you have no reason to believe that it was height related dude. She never said it up front did she? From what you're telling me— she's in a lot of emotional distress— and while I don't know ever nuanced detail about what she's dealing with, I will say you need to show you are supportive. If she's in such a bad state, then you need to let her know she has an ear she can speak to: a shoulder to cry too. This is about you saving that girl, and possibly your in the process.

[Koi]

I understand what you mean. You could always meet someone that made you feel your life is so great that you don't even need to change something like your height, althought it had been a high priority in the past. Not my case, though, so I can't tell. But I have always felt more secure about myself and cared less about certain things when I had relationship with a person that made me feel my life "complete". Also, the more tied you feel to your current life, the less available you'll be to do the procedure, and viceversa. Basically, unless you have a very tolerant, open-minded person in your life (or he/she is also into this, lol), you're better not bound to anyone until you've made every change you need in your life.
So you can basically choose between two paths, changing your life or accepting it. If you choose the second one by relying on another person, you will be vulnerable, and if that person ever leaves you, you'll be completely wrecked and you'll have lost a lot of time. Staying away from any of those things on purpose makes me feel empty, which feeds my will of doing the procedure. So yes, I do feel I really need this when I'm depressed.

Cheers.

[BiggestProblem]

That's a very good answer!

[Koi]

That's a very good answer!

If you ever need anything, especially expressing your thoughts or talking (I'm not a LL expert but I'm a thoughtful human who's been through your same problem), you can PM me whenever you need some support.

Best of luck.

[The Kaiser]

So what i understand, you wanted to stop this surgery before, because of one single puss*.  height is nothing when it comes to girls, its a bonus. Your personality, work status and money is everything.

and why she were worried (anxiety), because of you?

[BiggestProblem]

Well I was so happy I didn't feel like I nedded it. Also her anxiety is complicated I barely understand but it's tough stuff.

[The Kaiser]

Well I was so happy I didn't feel like I nedded it. Also her anxiety is complicated I barely understand but it's tough stuff.

i don't think its related to height am i right?

[BiggestProblem]

No it has nothing to do with that. It doesn't have to do with me either. Just her general well being makes a relationshsip impossible

[IwannaBeTaller]

I never had a girlfriend, so I can't comment on what that feels like. But I absolutely think that if you have a lot going on in your life, be it a happy relationship or a successful job/occupation to keep you busy, your height problems can easily fade away for some time, even if you have serious height neurosis. I've seen this when I had stuff going on, before that, I was afraid my height problems would keep me from being concentrated and productive, but when I need concentration, the height problems can fade away because they have to, luckily. However, this is not a permanent solution. Sooner or later they will come back. My dad always tells me to concentrate on other things, other people than myself, but this is not really helpful, because you are with yourself all the time in your life. Sooner or later your bad thoughts will resurface, at least in my experience.

[Peaceout]

I never had a girlfriend, so I can't comment on what that feels like. But I absolutely think that if you have a lot going on in your life, be it a happy relationship or a successful job/occupation to keep you busy, your height problems can easily fade away for some time, even if you have serious height neurosis. I've seen this when I had stuff going on, before that, I was afraid my height problems would keep me from being concentrated and productive, but when I need concentration, the height problems can fade away because they have to, luckily. However, this is not a permanent solution. Sooner or later they will come back. My dad always tells me to concentrate on other things, other people than myself, but this is not really helpful, because you are with yourself all the time in your life. Sooner or later your bad thoughts will resurface, at least in my experience.

This is very true,atleast for me.Like,i could concentrate on other things or be happy and forget about height just for those moments.But maybe after 15 min or 3 hours or a day those height related thoughts will come back and fk up your mood really hard.

[TIBIKE200]

Very normal... Each time i am seeing someone I want to do LL but much less. When I leave the relationship I want to do LL again like before. Has to do with low self worth feeling which anyone with any appearance related insecurity has. And since in the end we all care about height because of women (And please stop lying to yourself that women are not the number 1 reason by far as I doubt anyone in here beleive the bullcrap how height has any effect on your life besides the dating scene...), once you are with a woman/women you feel better with yourself and thus the height thingy gets calmed down

[BiggestProblem]

I agree with you 100% Tibike

[ub40]

Very normal... Each time i am seeing someone I want to do LL but much less. When I leave the relationship I want to do LL again like before. Has to do with low self worth feeling which anyone with any appearance related insecurity has. And since in the end we all care about height because of women (And please stop lying to yourself that women are not the number 1 reason by far as I doubt anyone in here beleive the bullcrap how height has any effect on your life besides the dating scene...), once you are with a woman/women you feel better with yourself and thus the height thingy gets calmed down

I can honestly say it's not women. Once you hit the 30 year range you have a better idea of what's really important. You also see a lot of good looking girls with ugly guys and vice versa. Also if your goal is to actually be in a committed monogamous relationship there really is no reason to a "ladies man". But if you just want to get laid in a superficial way focus on money and status.

And I'm by no means trying to say I'm not vain, it's just that my reasons aren't about women at all