Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[al-right-folks]

Hi folks.

In mid-20s now and ever since I was 15, I have hated my height and been depressed. I think about my height and limb lengthening every single day like it's some mission in life.

A bunch of recent turn of events in my life made me realize I have mental issues. Also, I have a very strong resemblance to my dad both physically and mentally which makes me feel that I'm genetically pre-disposed to have such mental behaviors.

I posted a description of how I feel here: https://www.reddit.com/r/depression/comments/4pnvrc/what_is_my_condition/

It is very likely that I have bipolar disorder or borderline personality disorder. *However* I am very strongly inclined to believe that my problems are largely exacerbated by my inability to accept my height.

I have had my share of family problems and the hereditary mental issues passed on. But I am hoping this surgery will fix my life. If not, I am doomed, might as well call it day and become a saint and die or something.

What are your opinions?

Help me bros. You're the only ones I can talk to about this without being called a wussy or manlet. Give me a hug, these are tough times

[CCMidwest]

Step one is to stay off Reddit. Bunch of losers for sure. No way I'm going to read your post there, sorry.

What's your height?

No one is "doomed" bro.

I have both borderlines and bipolars in my family. They are distinctly different disorders.

Have you been to a mental health professional?

[al-right-folks]

here is how I feel when I read some of the some responses on the forum:

If you can't get a girlfriend while being short, you can't get one if you're tall.

um, well of course I can't get a girlfriend now. I don't like myself. I don't even feel like getting one. How can I expect a girl to like me? I will feel like I am a black spot in a girl's life if she dated me. Not because I'm short, but because I hate my own body and am insecure. I'm literally like "let me get over my neurosis and then try". What's wrong with that?

If you are depressed you shouldn't do LL. You should do LL only if you are happy with everything in else in life except LL.

don't certain things trigger other things in life? Like if you had abusive parents, will your life be good in every other way except for poor relationship with parents? don't things lead to each other? My idea of how LL will help me if nothing goes south recovery wise:
- I do LL, start liking my body. I stand barefoot and take a deep breath and say "I am normal".
- I do things I have *inhibited* myself from doing: Dating, going out with people, learning music, not acting like a loser who has something to hide deep inside.
- I will still be left with OCD and such problems, but if I feel on-par with others socially, I think I should lose all my other symptoms.

Does this make sense or am I pipe dreaming?

[TIBIKE200]

How tall are you? And from which country are you from?

[al-right-folks]

Step one is to stay off Reddit. Bunch of losers for sure. No way I'm going to read your post there, sorry.

That isn't the infamous sub-reddit for shorties That is a sub-reddit for depressed people. Please can you bear it and read it anyway? I would really appreciate someone who is knowledgeable about the matter reading how I feel.

What's your height?

It doesn't really matter as long as I feel this way, does it? Let's say 3 inches below average where I live.

No one is "doomed" bro.

To live like I am living is to be doomed by my standards.

I have both borderlines and bipolars in my family. They are distinctly different disorders.

Have you been to a mental health professional?

Yes, but it didn't really help. He didn't seem convinced I have a genuine issue.

[CCMidwest]

Not sharing your height makes me assume you are trolling.

I take depression in men very seriously. I lost a buddy of mine to depression.

What's your height?

[al-right-folks]

Not sharing your height makes me assume you are trolling.

I take depression in men very seriously. I lost a buddy of mine to depression.

What's your height?

trolling with such a detailled question with a back-link to Reddit? No my friend.

I'm 5'6" high. I want to be 5'9" or however less will make me feel better.

[TIBIKE200]

Without knowing your height, we can't tell (or atleast have an honest opinion) if your height is truely socially problematic or not... If you are a 5'9+ with social problems than it's not your height. if you are like 5'6 and below, so it could be it.

[al-right-folks]

Without knowing your height, we can't tell (or atleast have an honest opinion) if your height is truely socially problematic or not... If you are a 5'9+ with social problems than it's not your height. if you are like 5'6 and below, so it could be it.

I'm 5'6".

But to respond to your point, I think it's unfair to but a bar like that. Relative height in the country should be what counts.

Anyway it is abnormal for people NOT associate "short" with me.

[CCMidwest]

trolling with such a detailled question with a back-link to Reddit? No my friend.

I'm 5'6" high. I want to be 5'9" or however less will make me feel better.

5'6 is short, but not the end of the world type short. I've known plenty of men that height that have good lives. Its a good starting height for LL too. 5cm would put you at 5'8.

I'm currently seeing a shrink. I tried out 5 or so different ones until I found one I clicked with.

Have you only been to one?

Thanks for sharing your height.

What else have you tried to fix depression? Depression can look like other disorders, especially bipolar. (borderline is a whole other animal)

Are you on meds?

You really need to get mental help though. No shame in that at all.

[Overdozer]

It can definitely help, but it won't cure it. I highly recommend seeing a psychiatrist first.

[Cheez]

But to respond to your point, I think it's unfair to but a bar like that. Relative height in the country should be what counts.

You are completely right. And then, with globalization, even as a man from a country where men are shorter, you have more and more to compete with the sizes of men from countries where people have taller statures..

[Iamready]

It helps.  I'm much more social now.

[amenhotep]

Oh man your story is similar to mine, i too have identical mentality with my father, but physically he is taller than me by 7 cm :/, so you could imagine how it is for me.

I was always taller then my friends and classmates, people percieved me as a silent pal, strong physically and mentally. I, not always, but ussually, was in a spotlight or near it, doing not so much effort, so i accepted this combination, but after teenage years i became shorter then most of my friends and relatives, and now for me to be in spotlight i have to become another person which i do not want to be, i mean to compensate my height people expect me to be always funny, outgoing, always on good mood, always on very active mode and etc. I am not saying that it is bad to be person like this, but i don't like the fact that they somehow not by their fault, but by their inner instincts or (similar word) they compel me to be that person.

I won't hide that i am 5'8 or 5'9, i am not sure, i fear to check real height, but it is how it is, i feel that way around 4 years, and couldn't manage to overcome the fact and accept my height.

My body is average, my face is 7/10(not only in my country), few months ago started to working out, hate it because of seeing guys who have height which i desire. but somehow manage not to miss gym very often, it may sound funny but i tell myself that i will be needing muscular upper body during post operation.

About girls, don't know how to say short, i think it is insecurity that i manage to like or fell in love in girls who are my height or taller then me, i think after surgery this insecurity will not disappear, but i accepted this. I read somewhere that it might be fetish, i don't now. I punish myself everytime a girl gives signs of interest in me, my mind thinks that i am not worth her.

And last i don't know if i am only one, but very often i have this occurrence, when i walk and pass the taller guy, i lose control and raise on feet, i feel so embrassed everytime, eh

This is not my first language so sorry for grammar erros

[Alu]

The number one thing I've gathered about this surgery that plenty of patients who've done it have all said is: If you come in happy you go out happpy. If you come out sad, you'll probably stay that way.

For OP and amenhotep, I'd advice seeing a shrink first. Some of the things you've guys said aren't going to be fixed by LL (extreme lack of self-esteem). If you're a loser at X-height (this can mainly apply to anyone 5'7 or over), you'll still be a loser with a new height.

[YourSpaceBoyfriend]

i mean to compensate my height people expect me to be always funny, outgoing, always on good mood, always on very active mode and etc. I am not saying that it is bad to be person like this, but i don't like the fact that they somehow not by their fault, but by their inner instincts or (similar word) they compel me to be that person.

Don't live to someone expectations just be yourself.

I punish myself everytime a girl gives signs of interest in me, my mind thinks that i am not worth her.

Ye implying that she has a bad taste is a huge turn on, nothing more attractive than self pity woho.

And last i don't know if i am only one, but very often i have this occurrence, when i walk and pass the taller guy, i lose control and raise on feet, i feel so embrassed everytime, eh

Well i can't recommend you anything except seeking for a mental help.

If you're a loser at X-height (this can mainly apply to anyone 5'7 or over), you'll still be a loser with a new height.

+1

[TIBIKE200]

The number one thing I've gathered about this surgery that plenty of patients who've done it have all said is: If you come in happy you go out happpy. If you come out sad, you'll probably stay that way.

For OP and amenhotep, I'd advice seeing a shrink first. Some of the things you've guys said aren't going to be fixed by LL (extreme lack of self-esteem). If you're a loser at X-height (this can mainly apply to anyone 5'7 or over), you'll still be a loser with a new height.

depends your definition of happiness though. Not a single happy person would think of doing this surgery. If the expectation is to have a completely new life than you are in for a huge dissapointment. If you are unhappy because you see that your height is holding you back (and IT IS only the height) than you are in for a good result psychologically speaking.
 

[CCMidwest]

The number one thing I've gathered about this surgery that plenty of patients who've done it have all said is: If you come in happy you go out happpy. If you come out sad, you'll probably stay that way.

For OP and amenhotep, I'd advice seeing a shrink first. Some of the things you've guys said aren't going to be fixed by LL (extreme lack of self-esteem). If you're a loser at X-height (this can mainly apply to anyone 5'7 or over), you'll still be a loser with a new height.

I had sent the OP a PM offering to help in any way I can with his depression. Help him find a good mental health professional or whatever I can do, but he never responded.

I've also noticed that the patients that go into the surgery feeling good about themselves, maybe feeling bad about height but otherwise have their sh*t together, seem to have better recoveries too. I'm sure the two are related.

There are so many things a guy can do to improve himself. Why wait to do that until post LL?

Ye implying that she has a bad taste is a huge turn on, nothing more attractive than self pity woho.

Exactly.

A sign of interest is a sign of interest, period. If she shows that she is interested, she probably feels like your height is fine (or it never even crossed her mind at all)

I assume all women are attracted to me until proven otherwise.

And amenhotep, you say you have to be funny and gregarious to get attention? I dunno man, I'm a bit shorter than you and I act like a cky, arrogant pr*ck most of the time. Women like it. Most women I have been with, including my wife, said that was one of the biggest things that attracted them to me was my slightly bad attitude.

Women are play things to me, and most women I have been with have liked being treated that way. Women don't like needy and insecure.

[Alu]

depends your definition of happiness though. Not a single happy person would think of doing this surgery. If the expectation is to have a completely new life than you are in for a huge dissapointment. If you are unhappy because you see that your height is holding you back (and IT IS only the height) than you are in for a good result psychologically speaking.

Basically..

[Thatdude950]

It's easy to blame height. The problem is more likely to be personality  - especially sociability, leadership ability and competence. In the real world (i.e workplace and basically every activity other than chasing pussy) these are far bigger markers of status than height and women.

[TIBIKE200]

It's easy to blame height. The problem is more likely to be personality  - especially sociability, leadership ability and competence. In the real world (i.e workplace and basically every activity other than chasing pussy) these are far bigger markers of status than height and women.

depends on your height and what you are blaming it for. In my case, I dont blame height for anything besides the lack of a much much larger dating pool.

Socially, height has no effect.
workplace and career, height has no effect
 how attracting you are to the other sex (physically speaking), ohh yes it does (if the other parts of the package are average or above

[CCMidwest]

It's easy to blame height. The problem is more likely to be personality  - especially sociability, leadership ability and competence. In the real world (i.e workplace and basically every activity other than chasing pussy) these are far bigger markers of status than height and women.

Yep.

Really the only place height matters is in the world of casual sex.

[YellowSpike]

Yep.

Really the only place height matters is in the world of casual sex.

I think there's a point with this.

But if you're dating for an actual long-term relationship and are marriage-minded...height still counts. Obviously it counts more with online dating, but the problem is...most dating happens online now. I've noticed people now when they're out with friends just want to be with their friends (and rightfully so)...everyone knows they just have to click onto their online profiles to get a date for the evening after. So height can still hurt you with long-term dating/finding a wife you're actually attracted to.

[CCMidwest]

I've never done online dating, so I wouldn't know.

I see your point though yellowspike.

Lots of ways to meet women in real life though...

Edit: I would highly discourage any man in the western world getting married anyway. Especially if you are financially successful. Just sayin'

[YellowSpike]

I've never done online dating, so I wouldn't know.

I see your point though yellowspike.

Lots of ways to meet women in real life though...

Edit: I would highly discourage any man in the western world getting married anyway. Especially if you are financially successful. Just sayin'

I think meeting in real life is better. For many, MANY reasons. But especially if you're below 5'10". I've heard too many women say they count height more online simply, because, well, they can. If they're getting tons of emails, height becomes an easy chopping block (along with race, I'm guessing). Height counts less for LTR/marriage than for hook-ups, yes, but it still counts there too. Since (unfortunately) most dating, casual or otherwise, tends to happen online now. That's just the general trajectory society has taken.

Where I live, women tend to be very unapproachable. They don't want to be spoken to at the gym (unless you're literally a perfect specimen), when they're with their friends they generally just want to be with their friends (which I actually understand - I don't want to be bothered with "who's here!?!" when I'm with my friends either)...there are ways, yes, but a lot of that is luck too. Better to meet through friends. When I was at a crazy bar last week, women "approached" (more like felt me up/violated me) me, but they were obviously drunk, and not that attractive for my standards lol.

[DownLand]

Hey I'd rather choose AIDS or Osteocarcinoma than being short so I can totally relate!
I broke my legs with my parents' helps and now I am already 181.5cm!
Just check my diary plz.

[LLprime3]

...

I have had my share of family problems and the hereditary mental issues passed on. But I am hoping this surgery will fix my life. If not, I am doomed, might as well call it day and become a saint and die or something.

What are your opinions?

Help me bros. You're the only ones I can talk to about this without being called a wussy or manlet. Give me a hug, these are tough times

There is a section from a book in which the author, a plastic surgeon, talks about the effect of plastic surgery on people's sense of self-worth and personality:

"Some patients showed no change in personality after
surgery. In most cases a person who had a conspicuously
ugly face, or some "freakish" feature corrected by surgery,
experienced an almost immediate (usually within 21
days) rise in self-esteem, self-confidence. But in some
cases, the patient continued to feel inadequate and experienced
feelings of inferiority. In short, these "failures" continued
to feel, act and behave just as if they still had an
ugly face.

This indicated to me that reconstruction of the physical
image itself was not "the" real key to changes in personality.
There was something else which was usually influenced
by facial surgery, but sometimes not. When this
"something else" was reconstructed, the person himself
changed. When this "something else" was not reconstructed
the person himself remained the same, although
his physical features might be radically different."

Basically, plastic surgery does turn a switch in your head, AND no consultation can fix it, IF what you changed with plastic surgery was the actual source of your low self-worth. If height is the only visual thing holding you back from greatness, then it will help 100%. I say go for it.