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[helloworld]

Unicorn,
wish you all the best for your recovery.
Not having the support of people you love really hurts! What about your Dutch best friend, she is avoiding you as well?

Looking at your situation I think most people would be in fact be happy to have your life:
1. you are smart
2. you still have all your legs
3. you are still young enough to get children
4. you probably are not ugly
5. you have good education
6. you have good work experience
7. you probably would be able to get a job making more than 1 USD a day! Probably making eve more than 500 USD a day!
8. you are not married to husband that is violent
9. you are not starving
10. you are alive
In short you are better of than 90% of the world's population. So you be grateful every day for what you have.

If I were to offer you the chance to to switch live with another living creature, another human, a bug, a dog, but you have to take a chance and be that random other creature for the rest of your life would you do it? Probably not because your life as human is so much better.
If I were to offer you the chance to swithc with any other random woman, but you have to take a chance and be that random woman for the rest of the life, you also would not change, because you know that this other women probably has a worse life than yours; you will likely have less than 2 USD per day, or a husband that is violent, and no education.

Having a non-union is terrible. But overall you still have a great life!

[Shadow91]

Do not give up Unicorn! As Helloworld says, you got a lot of things to be happy for. You are a Harvard grad for christ sake! You can easily get a well paying job with your credentials. Keep fighting, you will solve this. By the way, friends that cut you off when you are in need, are not friends. You are better off without people like that, trust me on that. And remember "this too shall pass".

[Unicorn888 by Elaine Foo]

I'm trying to get a grip of my stormy emotions and anxiety attacks.

Here's the Before and After comparison :



And this is me last week :

[jojo]

I agree. Thats not true friends.

Be glad you Got Them out of your life and focus on the Nice People
You Will fix this

[helloworld]

OH!
I am correcting my earlier comment:
4. you probably are not ugly = 4. you are very pretty

[jexus]

Wooooow you're a Harvard grad ??
That is my biggest dream.

Which department did you graduate from?

Btw you are really pretty and tall for a woman.
How did you manage to stay this good? I've looked like crap in 3 months after surgery.

Everything is okay, these days will surely pass and you will continue your life as a tall beautiful Harvard graduate which is the dream of every woman.

[KiloKAHN]

There was a user a couple years back who went to Dr Guichet and posted by the name Leechlet. The diary started positive initially and he also posted videos documenting his experience. Last I remember, he posted a video of him trying to make it up a set of stairs with a walker and his legs were exceptionally tight. He deleted everything abruptly one day and I wonder if he ran into the same or similar problems with Guichet. Coincidentally, he was Asian as well.

I can't believe Dr Guichet is still hitting you up for money he says you owe him after the state he left you in. If anything, he should be covering these treatment expenses for you to try and correct the nonunion caused by his runaway nail and negligence. Guichet had always had good reports about him, so I don't think anyone would have expected you to run into these issues. It doesn't matter if someone is the most genius surgeon in the world if he is as callous as he's been.

If it's worth anything at all, we support you on here. I'm all ears (or eyes rather) If you need to vent.

[IwannaBeTaller]

I remember seeing a couple of Leechlet's videos and in one said he couldn't find much more time to talk about LL because he was moving on with his life, and indeed he deleted all of the video at one point. Whether he ran into complications I don't know.

Unicorn, this might sound preposterous from someone who hasn't done LL, but please don't give up hope. I refuse to believe that a case like yours can't be treated to achieve good mobility at some point. I will be praying for your well-being, even though it might have no effect. All the best.

[The Dreamer]

I think avoidance is the next most painful thing I'm learning to deal with right now.  Everyone averting their eyes or avoiding to hear more bad news from me.

I had a friend visit yesterday and she asked how I was feeling.  I started to tell her and after about 5 mins, she asked if we could stop dwelling on bad stuff and watch a movie instead.  So there we were, both tuned out watching a movie so that we can protect her feelings.  That's the elephant in the room I'm talking about.

Unicorn,we are all here supporting you.You know you can talk with us whenever you want.This is the best we can do
Your diary is a cruel mixture of different feelings,sometimes pain and desperation,other times depicting a hope of seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.I'm sure it will come.It must
What was said by the other users is true,you have a problem but you are still in the game at 100%.
I know those are only words written by a stranger online but I hope they will improve a little bit your mood

[Unicorn888 by Elaine Foo]

More drama...

I took an Uber to The Dorchester hotel for lunch. The driver took me on a ‘joyride’ (circuitous route) veering towards Piccadilly and around Mayfair.  We were getting further away from my destination and I began to question his motives.  He probably thought I was a tourist in London and sought to pad his fare.

As we passed the restaurant's Park Lane entrance, he refused to stop curbside.  He became agitated as I pleaded with him to take me closer to The Dorchester’s main entrance, around the curve.  I cannot crutch very far and every meter counts.

He got hostile, halted abruptly in the middle of the road and shouted, “GET OUT YOU fkING BITCH, GET OUT!  GET OUT!”.  I started to panic as I was in the middle of the road, and didn’t want to remain in his car should he decide to drive off.  I swung the car door open and screamed for help from Dorchester's porters.

He began to video me with his smartphone calling me crazy, mad, fking lady etc etc.  I blanked out as I was focused on maneouvering myself out of his car without falling over.

He then got out of his car and rounded to my side when one of the hotel porters stopped him and tried to calm him down.  Some shouting ensued.  Cars behind us started to honk with impatience and tried to swerve around us.  I crutched as fast as I possibly could away from oncoming traffic.

I made it safely to the entrance of the hotel, and managed to capture 2 photos.  I was panicking and did not manage to video anything.  By the time I got into the hotel, I began to shake and started sobbing uncontrollably.  Dorchester’s Security Manager gave me the driver’s license plate and said he would call the police asap.

Not wanting to ruin my friends' London visit, I recomposed myself and joined them for lunch.  The police arrived and took a statement.  Towards the end of lunch, I felt moisture on the left side of my pants.  I thought, in my state of shock, my trembling hands had spilled my drink.  It was blood.  I must have scraped myself against the door latch while balancing and scrambling out of the car in a mad frenzy.

This is a minor incident, but a crippled person should not be treated with so much insensitivity and discrimination.  Forcing a disabled person to leave a car in the middle of the road is reckless endangerment.  I cannot imagine what would have happened if he had sped off before I could alight properly or if a car from behind swerved around us in haste and runs me over.

It's ironic that I signed Uber's petition to overturn London's decision to suspend their license.  I rely solely on Uber to ferry me safely to Kings College Hospital every day.

I cannot believe I've just become a target of unchecked verbal abuse, hostility and discrimination.  There should be some shred of human decency left, somewhere.

[google42]

More drama...

I took an Uber for The Dorchester hotel for lunch. The driver took me on a ‘joyride’ (circuitous route) veering towards Piccadilly and around Mayfair.  We were getting further away from my destination and I began to question his motives.  He probably thought I was a tourist in London and sought to pad his fare.

As we passed the restaurant's Park Lane entrance, he refused to stop curbside.  He became agitated as I pleaded with him to take me closer to The Dorchester’s main entrance, around the curve.  I cannot crutch very far and every meter counts.

He got hostile, halted abruptly in the middle of the road and shouted, “GET OUT YOU fkING BITCH, GET OUT!  GET OUT!”.  I started to panic as I was in the middle of the road, and didn’t want to remain in his car should he decide to drive off.  I swung the car door open and screamed for help from Dorchester's porters.

He began to video me with his smartphone calling me crazy, mad, fking lady etc etc.  I blanked out as I was focused on maneouvering myself out of his car without falling over.

He then got out of his car and rounded to my side when one of the hotel porters stopped him and tried to calm him down.  Some shouting ensued.  Cars behind us started to honk with impatience and tried to swerve around us.  I crutched as fast as I possibly could away from oncoming traffic.

I made it safely to the entrance of the hotel, and managed to capture 2 photos.  I was panicking and did not manage to video anything.  By the time I got into the hotel, I began to shake and started sobbing uncontrollably.  Dorchester’s Security Manager gave me the driver’s license plate and said he would call the police asap.

Not wanting to ruin my friends' London visit, I recomposed myself and joined them for lunch.  The police arrived and took a statement.  Towards the end of lunch, I felt moisture on the left side of my pants.  I thought, in my state of shock, my trembling hands had spilled my drink.  It was blood.  I must have scraped myself against the door latch while balancing and scrambling out of the car in a mad frenzy.

This is a minor incident, but a crippled person should not be treated with so much insensitivity and discrimination.  Forcing a disabled person to leave a car in the middle of the road is reckless endangerment.  I cannot imagine what would have happened if he had sped off before I could alight properly or if a car from behind swerved around us in haste and runs me over.

It's ironic that I signed Uber's petition to overturn London's decision to suspend their license.  I rely solely on Uber to ferry me safely to Kings College Hospital every day.

I cannot believe I've just become a target of unchecked verbal abuse, hostility and discrimination.  There should be some shred of human decency left, somewhere.

Damn this is messed up. Uber drivers should be required to take mental health check ups or something.

[Maxrules22]

Hey Unicorn,

I just spent the last couple of days reading all of your posts. So sorry you are going through this! Do you think your right leg would have not have had non-union if the gap was not so big? I am new to LL forum so I do not know much. But I do know things will get better eventually. It may take a while but time heals all wounds. Also your legs are much straighter in your recent Instagram posts so good job!!
You are in my prayers <3

[Sweden]

You took Uber “taxi”, alright then. 

Tip for the future: Don’t take any ride in some Uber car.

[Antonio]

Hi pretty lady! How are things going?

[Unicorn888 by Elaine Foo]

You took Uber “taxi”, alright then. 

Tip for the future: Don’t take any ride in some Uber car.

Hah!  No such options in London because black cabs are too high    So, only Ubers are feasible because you can plop in ass first

edited: excessive Instagram link

[Unicorn888 by Elaine Foo]

Hi pretty lady! How are things going?

Hi Antonio,

Nothing's happening    I'm taking painkillers to continue working out my walking muscles.  While risky, I can amble from one leg to the other without crutches.  I looked up the word 'amble' to see if I can better describe my walking gait.  I guess what Penguinn described was perfect, penguin walk or as the dictionary says, as someone looks for seashells they amble from one leg to another.

What hurts for now is joint pain (KNEES esp the left one) when I'm seated for too long.  Getting up hurts like crap, and my legs cannot hold me up, so I need crutches to prop myself up.  While I should rely on my quads to stand up like a normal person, I'm programmed by Guichet to never rely on my quads/femur and to use my triceps instead.  I'd rather err on the side of caution since I've no bones on the right leg.

I think this is the moment where guy muscles speed up healing.  My glutes and abs are still weak.  I went to an osteopath this week and he felt my ab muscles being pulled down by my short quads as well.  This is HOW amazing our bodies work, EVERYTHING is related

I do not want to overdo the crutchless walking either since there's nothing supporting my right leg gap except for the nail and we have no surefire way of knowing how long it can last.  I know I'm not consolidating the least bit because 3 more accidental clicks happened in the last 2-3 weeks when I sit down.  So if it can rotate, nothing is healing.

I got suicidal again twice before I left for the holidays and after I arrived, due to insensitivity on the part of family and close friends.  People TRY to correct my posture or give me advise that I should not hunch as a habit or be lazy, when they know very little about what I actually suffer.  Short soft tissues as a result of longer bones, is definitely not a symptom normal people digest easily.

Hence, for you pre-LLers, once you undergo surgery, please please please keep stretching those psoas, IT bands, hamstrings and quads so that you're lengthening soft tissues along with your bones.  Otherwise, my experience tells me that it takes even longer to lengthen muscles/soft tissues than bones    Again, not something that is spelled out clearly PRE-LL surgery.  We simply thought, off crutches, back to normal walking.  Forget about bone consolidation, rebuilding muscles AND soft tissues needing to catch up

https://www.instagram.com/unicorn_gets_taller/

[Antonio]

Hi Antonio,

Nothing's happening    I'm taking painkillers to continue working out my walking muscles.  While risky, I can amble from one leg to the other without crutches.  I looked up the word 'amble' to see if I can better describe my walking gait.  I guess what Penguinn described was perfect, penguin walk or as the dictionary says, as someone looks for seashells they amble from one leg to another.

What hurts for now is joint pain (KNEES esp the left one) when I'm seated for too long.  Getting up hurts like crap, and my legs cannot hold me up, so I need crutches to prop myself up.  While I should rely on my quads to stand up like a normal person, I'm programmed by Guichet to never rely on my quads/femur and to use my triceps instead.  I'd rather err on the side of caution since I've no bones on the right leg.

I think this is the moment where guy muscles speed up healing.  My glutes and abs are still weak.  I went to an osteopath this week and he felt my ab muscles being pulled down by my short quads as well.  This is HOW amazing our bodies work, EVERYTHING is related

I do not want to overdo the crutchless walking either since there's nothing supporting my right leg gap except for the nail and we have no surefire way of knowing how long it can last.  I know I'm not consolidating the least bit because 3 more accidental clicks happened in the last 2-3 weeks when I sit down.  So if it can rotate, nothing is healing.

I got suicidal again twice before I left for the holidays and after I arrived, due to insensitivity on the part of family and close friends.  People TRY to correct my posture or give me advise that I should not hunch as a habit or be lazy, when they know very little about what I actually suffer.  Short soft tissues as a result of longer bones, is definitely not a symptom normal people digest easily.

Hence, for you pre-LLers, once you undergo surgery, please please please keep stretching those psoas, IT bands, hamstrings and quads so that you're lengthening soft tissues along with your bones.  Otherwise, my experience tells me that it takes even longer to lengthen muscles/soft tissues than bones    Again, not something that is spelled out clearly PRE-LL surgery.  We simply thought, off crutches, back to normal walking.  Forget about bone consolidation, rebuilding muscles AND soft tissues needing to catch up

https://www.instagram.com/unicorn_gets_taller/

Hi Unicorn, I'm extremely saddened by your continued plight and the sheer callousness (pardon the pun) of your insensitive family members. Unfortunately we can't choose our family but I understand your situation coming from a high achieving one myself. I hope you can forgive them for their ignorance.

Is there no way the doctors that you are seeing can help with the bone consolidation? How about seeing a specialist, or asking for experimental treatment? What about that bone graft you referred to? In this day and age, there must be some way to fix your bones for good.

Hoping the holidays are good to you, and if there is anything that I can do, don't hesitate...

[Auron]

It seems they aren't "uber" in everything.

To be honest, I lost track of all the misfortune you have sufered but I do hope you get your right leg consolidated asap. I can see you recovering much faster afterwards.

[myloginacct]

Hi, Unicorn. Have you been getting therapy? I'm really sorry to hear about the recent suicidal thoughts. Don't forget about addressing any psychological problems you're having too.

Stay strong.

[Unicorn888 by Elaine Foo]

Hi Unicorn, I'm extremely saddened by your continued plight and the sheer callousness (pardon the pun) of your insensitive family members. Unfortunately we can't choose our family but I understand your situation coming from a high achieving one myself. I hope you can forgive them for their ignorance.

Is there no way the doctors that you are seeing can help with the bone consolidation? How about seeing a specialist, or asking for experimental treatment? What about that bone graft you referred to? In this day and age, there must be some way to fix your bones for good.

Hoping the holidays are good to you, and if there is anything that I can do, don't hesitate...

Yes, I really do think though that most people have my best interest at heart (hopefully) when they give advise or judge me.  And it's definitely my fault because what I did to myself cannot be easily explained and understood    Example : My mum tells me to just tell anyone who asks about my crutches that I just sprained my ankle skiing...  Again, glossing over my struggles to maintain dignity... and NOBODY notices that I'm taller now because I'm hunched over/duckass, so there is some good news here

The other Guichet non-union guy received a full bone graft from NHS a month ago with just cadaver bone chips.  I think his body accepted it and the last xrays show healing.  So I think I'm next on the NHS list   10cm is a huge jump, so I have no choice but to chance it.  And will try something else if this doesn't work.

I wrote to every 'experimental' expert I researched but nobody replied.  All these people who can print 3D bone or even collagen scaffolds to ease bone cells to bridge from one end to the other.  If anyone knows anyone directly, please do PM me.  At this stage, I don't mind being a guinea pig (a tall one at that )  I did notice that most experiments are done on pigs, rabbits and mice

https://www.instagram.com/unicorn_gets_taller/

[Unicorn888 by Elaine Foo]

It seems they aren't "uber" in everything.

To be honest, I lost track of all the misfortune you have sufered but I do hope you get your right leg consolidated asap. I can see you recovering much faster afterwards.

I'll post some walking gait without crutches today but it's definitely getting better superficially   Walking without bones
I'm still blown away by how good looking you are, hahaha!  We are not misfits but people who dare to strive for height.

edited: excessive Instagram link

[Unicorn888 by Elaine Foo]

Hi, Unicorn. Have you been getting therapy? I'm really sorry to hear about the recent suicidal thoughts. Don't forget about addressing any psychological problems you're having too.

Stay strong.

Yes, I now suffer from psychological probs unfortunately.  I tried to reason them away but after countless psychological and psychiatric sessions, they've put me on some pills to stabilize my depression and hopelessness.  Apparently, all that has happened cause some kind of PTSD and other snowball effect issues.

I'm getting used to being home, around friends and on holiday right now, so hopefully, all this will diminish with time.  I found out that when I told my parents/brother that when I got home from surgery in Milan and didn't have a nurse and survived on cornflakes, water and peeing into my cat's water bowl, they cried and got tickets to come to London to take care of me.

So I do understand that while sometimes friends and family do not know how to express the right words in front of me, I am very much loved.

Thank you for your message because the psychological aspect is quite important in trauma & ortho cases as our heads and bodies try to grasp and adapt to all these sudden changes.  It's not always good news everyday with LL, so being prepared for any imminent change in psychological outlook and addressing it promptly, is KEY.

https://www.instagram.com/unicorn_gets_taller/

[Unicorn888 by Elaine Foo]

Hey Unicorn,

I just spent the last couple of days reading all of your posts. So sorry you are going through this! Do you think your right leg would have not have had non-union if the gap was not so big? I am new to LL forum so I do not know much. But I do know things will get better eventually. It may take a while but time heals all wounds. Also your legs are much straighter in your recent Instagram posts so good job!!
You are in my prayers <3

Hi Maxrules22,

Yes, my right leg would not have non-union if the gap is not so big.  It's a series of problems that lead to where I am today.

My right leg was lengthened way too fast, before the calluses can keep up with bridging.  In addition, I found out my nail is non-reversible, too late.  If it were reversible, I could have shortened it again until the calluses touch each other, and re-lengthen very slowly to ensure bone consolidation.

The other issue that I've learnt as well is external LL is better for older people probably because they don't need to ream their femurs to insert the internal nails.  When you ream too much, you lose all the active cells and matrices that help with bone healing.  Hence, people who use external nails have a better chance of consolidation because they can reverse and they have full femur bones to work with 

This is my 20/20 perfect hindsight for you

https://www.instagram.com/unicorn_gets_taller/

[Auron]

I'll post some walking gait without crutches today but it's definitely getting better superficially   Walking without bones
I'm still blown away by how good looking you are, hahaha!  We are not misfits but people who dare to strive for height.

https://www.instagram.com/unicorn_gets_taller/

Yes, your proportions definetely look much better for a girl now. I hope it works as a motivation for your recovery. I had a look at your insta, you're smart and beautiful just like Helloworld said, so don't waste that gift. We are not misfits at all 

[Antonio]

Yes, I really do think though that most people have my best interest at heart (hopefully) when they give advise or judge me.  And it's definitely my fault because what I did to myself cannot be easily explained and understood    Example : My mum tells me to just tell anyone who asks about my crutches that I just sprained my ankle skiing...  Again, glossing over my struggles to maintain dignity... and NOBODY notices that I'm taller now because I'm hunched over/duckass, so there is some good news here

The other Guichet non-union guy received a full bone graft from NHS a month ago with just cadaver bone chips.  I think his body accepted it and the last xrays show healing.  So I think I'm next on the NHS list   10cm is a huge jump, so I have no choice but to chance it.  And will try something else if this doesn't work.

I wrote to every 'experimental' expert I researched but nobody replied.  All these people who can print 3D bone or even collagen scaffolds to ease bone cells to bridge from one end to the other.  If anyone knows anyone directly, please do PM me.  At this stage, I don't mind being a guinea pig (a tall one at that )  I did notice that most experiments are done on pigs, rabbits and mice

https://www.instagram.com/unicorn_gets_taller/

You would be the cutest guinea pig ever!  But seriously it's wonderful that you are next in line for the bone graft. And I think that you have such determination and positive energy that you will come through. And then when you stride out in your heels and new height you will just be slaying...

Please, more posts on Instagram!

[Leyla90]

Did the doctors give u any kind of medications to speed up the process of bone growth? hgh? calcium supplements?

[The Dreamer]

Hey Unicorn,read the Tibike200's post about the new israeli "lipograft" technique which solved a 10 cm case of non union.
You could find it interesting

[TIBIKE200]

Hey Unicorn,read the Tibike200's post about the new israeli "lipograft" technique which solved a 10 cm case of non union.
You could find it interesting

5 cm

[The Dreamer]

5 cm

Right,but it he said later also "I can add 10 cms for your stature"

[TIBIKE200]

Right,but it he said later also "I can add 10 cms for your stature"

He said it in a hypothetical manner. It's a difference between how things are read in hebrew and in english (and any other non semitic language).

[Zeo]

I hope things are getting better even if it's just a little, stay strong Unicorn