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[Unicorn888 by Elaine Foo]

My God, Guichet is really a disaster. If you hadn't had his awful nail and were allowed to lengthen slower, I bet your situation now would be completely opposite. I'd say 0.5 is ideal for a women. Do you agree?

I have low blood flow due to sedentary life and my flexibility is abysmal. So, I really need a gigantic amount of exercise to gain the right flexibility. I will focus on yoga for legs flexibility, and I guess this is what I need to reach my goals.

I also think that taking natural supplements to enhance blood flow, during the lengthening phase, could be very helpful, since the pace of the flow is so important for the recovery of the bone.

Annalisa, you're absolutely right.  When I consulted the Chinese top orthopaedists, they recommend using Tienqi (a kind of ginseng) during bone healing because it's good for vascular circulation.

So I guess, no matter where you are in the world, or with which doctor you go, there are certain traditional wisdoms

I bet the indigenous peoples in the Amazon jungle would know how to lengthen and fuse beautifully   They can't even imagine why we're all so ignorant     

If they can do this, they can probably fix me in a jiffy!  But maybe they'll eat me for dinner too.

[Unicorn888 by Elaine Foo]

Dr.G actually prescribed aspirin for us to take twice a day since the 10th day after the surgery.

Hi Dream_Catcher,

How are you doing?  I got to the bottom of all these blood thinners and aspirin.  It's because Doc G doesn't want the bone to fuse/heal too fast.  That makes absolutely sense.  He also prescribes Xaralto, in case fusion comes too soon.

So depending on how each of our bodies react to broken bones, it's either slow down healing or speed up healing

Actually, another patient had told us before surgery too that they were prescribed aspirin during lengthening.  So after asking his physio, I was told it was to avoid pre-consolidation and in my case, either monitoring was slack or there's some other reason.

[InferiorityComplex]

Extremely valuable info, thank you. Even though i'd be considered young i am being very cautious now when Im 5 cm + and 2 months in due to posts here. I will stop at 6 or 6.5 and regarding proportions/athleticism that's where i think the threshold is unless you're born in a yoga barn and had even smaller femurs pre op than me. Why not stop 1-2 cm less - decrease your risk by a lot and if you're not content do tibia 4 cm some years down the road? We live in a virtual world where literally half of google's staff work from "home" and this will just increase almost exponentially, guess i am lucky that pure financially&time (essentially the same thing) i can do this without stress. I haven't felt any pain or stress since 2-3 weeks op, no pain meds..nothing. Now when Im close to 6 cm i definitely start to feel tension though, feels weird..def adding 1 more cm after 5 adds 3 months + complications to your recovery it feels like.

Now i am definitely not as experienced as the rest, but one thing is i am a firm believer in never giving up and continue to find solution / crack the code. Don't give up, i am quite certain if you continue to push your leg and body you eventually reach cloud formation and within time be in a much better state. JUST DONT GIVE UP!! You can only look forward, not backwards. I can help you with anything when i visit London next time. Best Regards

[Unicorn888 by Elaine Foo]

Very clear,thanks Unicorn.Interesting also your intuition on the effect of bloody pressure.Probably it is because less pressure=less speed of blood flood and as for consequences slower healing.Just my 2 cents
Yes,it is true that for young people the risk of preconsolidation is more worrying about.
At first sight I would say you have a small formation on your bottom of your right leg,but now that i'm paying more attention maybe Bleda is right.However the gap is still noticeable in my opinion
I would ask you if you know what happens exactly(biologically speaking) when you reduce the gap by shortening the nail
Why this is supposed to enhance callus formation ?
I read this statement in a lot of diaries but never understood the concept behind it

Hah!  Unfortunately, I myself do not know and I don't think it's much explored whether it's the kebab grafting of 10cm using a mixture of my hip bones + cadaver bones, switching to trauma nails or changing to Precice.

All the docs I speak to treat it like an experiment.  Hence, if I had to draw lots and take another surgery risk, I'd prefer to change to Precice.  At least, at this point I know I can reverse and stop, and it's less traumatic doing remote controlled lengthening.  An invasive bone graft would not even guarantee that my body will accept and consolidate.

Also, because I was given a 13mm nail and my femurs were reamed to abt 15mm, my NHS doc says my cortices are very thin, so I don't really even know if new nails can be replaced.  Perhaps kebab is the only way to go

Most docs basically say you need to re-injure the area and create hematoma again for it to begin the process of fracture healing.  Hence, all 3 procedures above will achieve that. 

However, remember that Guichet had done a marrow injection with the objective of injuring the gap too, but that didn't work either.  Regardless, bone aspirate doesn't fuse 10cm.  It could work on smaller fractures.  I wish I had known before.

Nobody has yet explained to me the consequences of shortening because even when my left leg gap crushed abruptly from 3cm to 0cm during the fracture last year, there was a GIANT LUMP of extra skin/soft tissues hanging out. 

So you can imagine if I shorten to 5cm.  Not sure what kind of soft tissue/nerve damage that causes aside from gross aesthetics.

See xray of the 3cm crush and how flesh was compacted.  At first, I thought my ass fell down, and didn't understand why it was hanging so low until I realized it's loose flesh... gross!!!

[Unicorn888 by Elaine Foo]

Extremely valuable info, thank you. Even though i'd be considered young i am being very cautious now when Im 5 cm + and 2 months in due to posts here. I will stop at 6 or 6.5 and regarding proportions/athleticism that's where i think the threshold is unless you're born in a yoga barn and had even smaller femurs pre op than me. Why not stop 1-2 cm less - decrease your risk by a lot and if you're not content do tibia 4 cm some years down the road? We live in a virtual world where literally half of google's staff work from "home" and this will just increase almost exponentially, guess i am lucky that pure financially&time (essentially the same thing) i can do this without stress. I haven't felt any pain or stress since 2-3 weeks op, no pain meds..nothing. Now when Im close to 6 cm i definitely start to feel tension though, feels weird..def adding 1 more cm after 5 adds 3 months + complications to your recovery it feels like.

Now i am definitely not as experienced as the rest, but one thing is i am a firm believer in never giving up and continue to find solution / crack the code. Don't give up, i am quite certain if you continue to push your leg and body you eventually reach cloud formation and within time be in a much better state. JUST DONT GIVE UP!! You can only look forward, not backwards. I can help you with anything when i visit London next time. Best Regards

Yes, I had the same 6cm sensation, everything was sooooooooo stretched.  I thought I'd burst like in one of those medieval torture instruments where you're pulled apart by 4 horses.


Also, do not forget, there are tons of people who after healing from the first 5-6cm, several years later, they undergo another osteotomy and lengthen a bit more on the same nail. 

That can be done actually and one of the patients I met did 10cm in the end.  Seated, he looks like a praying mantis though, so it's not actually recommendable for people who're sensitive to proportions and I think over time it'll hurt his athletic abilities and stress out his knees.


YAY Long Legs! 

[InferiorityComplex]

In response to lengthening on the same nail, i use Fitbone. I met Guichet personally but promised myself to trust my gut and never go with him. I definitely do not feel like Im in a medieval torture instrument, but going from 0 stretching feelings or any tension at all to definitely feeling something.

[InferiorityComplex]

And regarding proportions even though i think my femur was short pre OP going above 6 cm starts to look weird at least on me.

[Unicorn888 by Elaine Foo]

In response to lengthening on the same nail, i use Fitbone. I met Guichet personally but promised myself to trust my gut and never go with him. I definitely do not feel like Im in a medieval torture instrument, but going from 0 stretching feelings or any tension at all to definitely feeling something.

Ok, you're watching your xrays carefully and you've beautiful clouds and calluses, right?  Because the non-union guy with me at NHS didn't feel any stretch at all during his entire lengthening to 7cm, and he had zero calluses and finally after 2 years, they finally appear though not fully joined/consolidated yet.

Also, you're absolutely right, after about 5-6cm, each 1cm of extra length compounds your complications exponentially, it's not a linear projection.  Risks are higher and healing takes much much longer.

So, you're wise to veer on the safe side.

[InferiorityComplex]

I can upload them when i wake up!

[419]

I'm doing Exogen which is a light ultra sound.  As Bodybuilder pointed out, chances are it wouldn't fuse a 10cm gap esp since there're no calluses.

That said, my poor NHS doc keeps telling me, PLEASE STOP GOING ONLINE TO RESEARCH about bone fusion since you've so much time on your hands and are so desperate 

It is quite funny because that's all I do every day...  thinking about teriparatide, insuline-like growth factor 1, HGH, bone printing tech etc. and the more I search, the deeper I lose myself inside the dark net

Before we know it, I'll be drug dealing on Silk Road     My second calling in life!

are you eating lots of calcium reach food?

[Body Builder]

He prescribes a high dosage of aspirin up to 1,200mg throughout the entire lengthening period, and even after that, during the consolidation/recovery period.  He believes that thinner blood helps healing better.  So we all have to follow.  I already got screamed at in November because I stopped aspirin after I stopped lengthening.

I was always under the impression that aspirin prevents bone healing like NSAIDS and if there's a blood clot situation, heparin/warfarin can be used for a short period.

Again, we don't/didn't know enough to disobey our doctor.  It's only during my second left leg lengthening when I was so desperate that I began experimenting a little since nothing had worked for the right leg, so I literally had nothing left to lose.

Only a moron could prescribe aspirin during LL.
Guichet is really dangerous.

[Unicorn888 by Elaine Foo]

are you eating lots of calcium reach food?

Hi Prakash,

Yes, I think overdosing on calcium 

1,000mg of calcium, algaecal, lots of cheese, eggs, meat, protein powder, sardines, kale and even bone marrow

Have been trying everything and one of the most important being a rich protein and calcium based diet

[Datum]

Only a moron could prescribe aspirin during LL.
Guichet is really dangerous.

LOL. You're Guichet's troll. Monegal is more dangerous. He forgets prescribing heparine.

[c]

Yes

[Body Builder]

LOL. You're Guichet's troll. Monegal is more dangerous. He forgets prescribing heparine.

I am not comparing Guichet with Monegal to find who is the most stupid and incapable.
And you are a troll with a psychosis with Monegal, I am an LL veteran with a diary on the old forum.

So stfu before refering to me again and continue your complexes with Monegal in topics that has to do with him.
Here is Unicorn's diary who is Guichet's patient.

[Frost]

I am not comparing Guichet with Monegal to find who is the most stupid and incapable.
And you are a troll with a psychosis with Monegal, I am an LL veteran with a diary on the old forum.

So stfu before refering to me again and continue your complexes with Monegal in topics that has to do with him.
Here is Unicorn's diary who is Guichet's patient.

seems like the old forum is down, wish i could have read your journal

[Datum]

Check my reply in that thread.

[LLSouthAmerica]

Only a moron could prescribe aspirin during LL.
Guichet is really dangerous.

LOL. You're Guichet's troll. Monegal is more dangerous. He forgets prescribing heparine.

Hey Unicorn, even though I've already left Milan so long ago I still keep an eye for your journey. I hope you keep going to your NHS doctor and have the Precise nail so you can lengthen!

BodyBuilder is not a troll, he is only a guy with very strong opinions and a big attitude! Let's see where to begin (from what I researched before my LL journey) ... It is true that NSAIDS are said to cause a higher risk of delayed healing especially during the first weeks of fracture healing (inflammatory phase). Now, aspirin is also a member of this family but it behaves differently. Earlier, there were some epidemiological studies in which people taking aspirin had higher bone density. This, of course, does not imply causation. Now, in animal models (to experiment whether or not aspirin inhibit bone healing in humans is unethical) there have been conflicting results, while some have found a delayed healing, others have found faster and better callus. So again, to my knowledge, evidence tends to discourage most NSAIDS and aspirin's evidence is even more ambiguous (can't say for or against).

However, I honestly do not know why Dr. Guichet prescribes so much aspirin. He recommended 1 g of aspirin (that I remember) and this is a lot. Doses as low as 75 mg are enough for platelet inhibition, painkiller starts at 500 mg. Aspirin only behaves as an anti-inflammatory when it is used in doses higher than 1 gr.

Also, Dr. Guichet doesn't prescribe heparin!! He doesn't use any anticoagulants. I guess that early walking and compressive socks are enough for the majority of patients. He recommends Aspirin after the 2nd week (that I remember). From all the patients I've seen, I've seen 1 case but she had a distal vein trombosis so no risk of pulmonary embolism. I think Unicorn also had a blood clog after travelling back to London I don't remember.

[Unicorn888 by Elaine Foo]

Hey Unicorn, even though I've already left Milan so long ago I still keep an eye for your journey. I hope you keep going to your NHS doctor and have the Precise nail so you can lengthen!

BodyBuilder is not a troll, he is only a guy with very strong opinions and a big attitude! Let's see where to begin (from what I researched before my LL journey) ... It is true that NSAIDS are said to cause a higher risk of delayed healing especially during the first weeks of fracture healing (inflammatory phase). Now, aspirin is also a member of this family but it behaves differently. Earlier, there were some epidemiological studies in which people taking aspirin had higher bone density. This, of course, does not imply causation. Now, in animal models (to experiment whether or not aspirin inhibit bone healing in humans is unethical) there have been conflicting results, while some have found a delayed healing, others have found faster and better callus. So again, to my knowledge, evidence tends to discourage most NSAIDS and aspirin's evidence is even more ambiguous (can't say for or against).

However, I honestly do not know why Dr. Guichet prescribes so much aspirin. He recommended 1 g of aspirin (that I remember) and this is a lot. Doses as low as 75 mg are enough for platelet inhibition, painkiller starts at 500 mg. Aspirin only behaves as an anti-inflammatory when it is used in doses higher than 1 gr.

Also, Dr. Guichet doesn't prescribe heparin!! He doesn't use any anticoagulants. I guess that early walking and compressive socks are enough for the majority of patients. He recommends Aspirin after the 2nd week (that I remember). From all the patients I've seen, I've seen 1 case but she had a distal vein trombosis so no risk of pulmonary embolism. I think Unicorn also had a blood clog after travelling back to London I don't remember.

Hi LLSouthAmerica,

I wish we have a geek emoticon for you     All you said is correct, no anti-coagulants and a lot of aspirin are prescribed.  Anyway, it is what it is now.  I hope that I can be reamed further to change nails.  If not, a bone graft scares me on so many levels.

My DVT was actually detected post surgery in Milan, not post flight.  That said, everything is clear now.  Ironically enough, I finally got my ultrasound scan months later and all the docs agree that the unbelievably high amount of aspirin I was prescribed  probably helped 

So some good came of it!

[Annalisa]

Unicorn, I've sent you a pm, for a consult

[helloworld]

Unicorn,
Lots of proteins, lots of cheese, eggs, meat, protein powder, sardines?
Are you sure that is good for you?
It is opposite of what I ate and what I would recommend others patients who want a speedy recovery to eat, as I am convinced the above promotes:
Cancer
Arthritis
heart attack
Stroke
multiple sclerosis
Autoimmune diseases
Diabetes
Obesity
kidney stones
Depression
osteoporosis and
non-union!
For that reason I strongly limit my meat intake, and eat every day around 2.5 liters of shakes with raw fruits and vegetables, lots of salad and combined with starchy food, but almost no animal based food and it seems that my recovery went well and I am feeling very healthy.

The way that animal protein leads to all of the above diseases is manifold and complex, but mainly:
Creating inflammation
Creating acidity once amino acids are broken down
Toxins and pesticides contained in meat
Several amino acids, especially methionine, being essential food for cancer cells
Carnitine and choline, broken down by gut bacteria to TMA, which is converted by liver to TMAO
Animal based food creating bad gut flora
Here is just one video that you might want to watch:

[runaway]

你好，我27岁，164CM。我想做断骨增高。想咨询以下一些问题，麻烦你帮帮我。另外，我164CM想长到175CM就可以了。虽然不能保证，但是我有点担心你们的钉锤打下去，会不会把骨头打成裂纹，然后骨头就竖着的方向裂开，我很害怕。听说还有骨头连不起来的问题，很担心。我27岁了，你觉得还有可能长高的空间吗?
1、手术是在哪个国家或者城市做靠谱？
2、手术费用是多少呢？包括后期调理的补品一共需要多少钱？
3、真的有残疾或者死亡的风险吗？我担心的是骨头连不上的问题等，想咨询一下您，希望你能帮帮我。谢谢你！


Hello, I'm 27 years old, 164CM. I want to do it. Would like to ask some of the following questions, please help me. Besides, I think 164CM wants to grow to 175CM. Although there is no guarantee, but I'm a little worried about your hammer down, will put the bones into the crack, then the bones on the vertical direction of crack, I am afraid. I'm worried about the problems of bones. I'm 27 years old. Do you think there's still room to grow taller?
1, which country or city does the operation do?
2. What is the cost of the operation? How much do you need for the tonic after conditioning?
3, is there a risk of disability or death? I'm worried about the bone can not connect, and so on, I would like to ask you, I hope you can help me. Thank you very much!

[YourSpaceBoyfriend]

Unicorn,
Lots of proteins, lots of cheese, eggs, meat, protein powder, sardines?
Are you sure that is good for you?
It is opposite of what I ate and what I would recommend others patients who want a speedy recovery to eat, as I am convinced the above promotes:
Cancer
Arthritis
heart attack
Stroke
multiple sclerosis
Autoimmune diseases
Diabetes
Obesity
kidney stones
Depression
osteoporosis and
non-union!
For that reason I strongly limit my meat intake, and eat every day around 2.5 liters of shakes with raw fruits and vegetables, lots of salad and combined with starchy food, but almost no animal based food and it seems that my recovery went well and I am feeling very healthy.

The way that animal protein leads to all of the above diseases is manifold and complex, but mainly:
Creating inflammation
Creating acidity once amino acids are broken down
Toxins and pesticides contained in meat
Several amino acids, especially methionine, being essential food for cancer cells
Carnitine and choline, broken down by gut bacteria to TMA, which is converted by liver to TMAO
Animal based food creating bad gut flora
Here is just one video that you might want to watch:

Well i was wondering when vegans will start to post anything.

[Unicorn888 by Elaine Foo]

Unicorn,
Lots of proteins, lots of cheese, eggs, meat, protein powder, sardines?
Are you sure that is good for you?
It is opposite of what I ate and what I would recommend others patients who want a speedy recovery to eat, as I am convinced the above promotes:
Cancer
Arthritis
heart attack
Stroke
multiple sclerosis
Autoimmune diseases
Diabetes
Obesity
kidney stones
Depression
osteoporosis and
non-union!
For that reason I strongly limit my meat intake, and eat every day around 2.5 liters of shakes with raw fruits and vegetables, lots of salad and combined with starchy food, but almost no animal based food and it seems that my recovery went well and I am feeling very healthy.

The way that animal protein leads to all of the above diseases is manifold and complex, but mainly:
Creating inflammation
Creating acidity once amino acids are broken down
Toxins and pesticides contained in meat
Several amino acids, especially methionine, being essential food for cancer cells
Carnitine and choline, broken down by gut bacteria to TMA, which is converted by liver to TMAO
Animal based food creating bad gut flora
Here is just one video that you might want to watch:

Hi Helloworld,

You're actually preaching to the converted, no worries   After reading the THE CHINA STUDY, I became very aware about alkaline foods, cancer, inflammation and became obsessed with anti-oxidants (tumeric, goji berries, blueberries, salmon, clove oil...etc), avoiding free radicals.

But I also know I really need a lot of calories and calcium/protein for bone growth, so I'm making an exception at the expense of later suffering from liver failure, kidney stones due to the high dosage of meds/calcium, and even cancer on day.

That said, that's why I balanced out my high protein diet with a lot of dark leafy greens, lemon water, dandelion root tea, liver heat pads, even got my bone marrow/meats sourced from free-range grass-fed non-hormone farms - I'm crazy I know but I fear all our foodstuff today, wrapped perfectly in plastic and beautifully ripened under fake sun glasshouses cause us more harm than good.  So I do try to alkanize as much as possible

But thank you for this because I'm a big fan of an alkaline based living, like yourself

[Unicorn888 by Elaine Foo]

你好，我27岁，164CM。我想做断骨增高。想咨询以下一些问题，麻烦你帮帮我。另外，我164CM想长到175CM就可以了。虽然不能保证，但是我有点担心你们的钉锤打下去，会不会把骨头打成裂纹，然后骨头就竖着的方向裂开，我很害怕。听说还有骨头连不起来的问题，很担心。我27岁了，你觉得还有可能长高的空间吗?
1、手术是在哪个国家或者城市做靠谱？
2、手术费用是多少呢？包括后期调理的补品一共需要多少钱？
3、真的有残疾或者死亡的风险吗？我担心的是骨头连不上的问题等，想咨询一下您，希望你能帮帮我。谢谢你！


Hello, I'm 27 years old, 164CM. I want to do it. Would like to ask some of the following questions, please help me. Besides, I think 164CM wants to grow to 175CM. Although there is no guarantee, but I'm a little worried about your hammer down, will put the bones into the crack, then the bones on the vertical direction of crack, I am afraid. I'm worried about the problems of bones. I'm 27 years old. Do you think there's still room to grow taller?
1, which country or city does the operation do?
2. What is the cost of the operation? How much do you need for the tonic after conditioning?
3, is there a risk of disability or death? I'm worried about the bone can not connect, and so on, I would like to ask you, I hope you can help me. Thank you very much!

Hi Runwaway,

I think the best way to start is to read up various diaries.  At 27 years old (male or female?), there's definitely no more room to grow taller naturally.

If you want to grow from 164cm to 175cm, that's achieving 11cm and cannot be done in one section.  Hence, you have to look at femur lengthening of 6-7cm and tibia lengthening of 4-5cm.  It is A LOT of lengthening to do, so you'll need substantial financial reserve and time off from life.  Read the diary of  Iamready, he did both femur and tibia together.

1)  There are many countries with reknown doctors offering cosmetic limb lengthening and if you're from Asia, even China and Korea have reknown doctors.  It depends on your budget and how you can cope living faraway from the comforts of your home and culture.

2)  The cost of operation really varies from country to country and doctors.  Basic thumb of rule is if it sounds too good to be true, it's probably suspect.  That said, even the most expensive doctors are NOT a guarantee of good outcome

3)  There are a plethora of complications including some that you've stated like fracture during surgery, fractures after, non-union, infection, gangrene, even amputation or suicide/death.  The point is limb lengthening is a highly risky highly invasive procedure (and don't let ANYONE tell you otherwise), so you're really playing russian roulette.  Hence, the best you can do is risk mitigation like choosing a good experienced doctor, be prepared mentally/financially, research research research (knowledge is power), be diligent with your physiotherapy etc.

That said, feel free to PM me for more questions since you're currently in class CLL 101 

[helloworld]

Hi Helloworld,

You're actually preaching to the converted, no worries   After reading the THE CHINA STUDY, I became very aware about alkaline foods, cancer, inflammation and became obsessed with anti-oxidants (tumeric, goji berries, blueberries, salmon, clove oil...etc), avoiding free radicals.

But I also know I really need a lot of calories and calcium/protein for bone growth, so I'm making an exception at the expense of later suffering from liver failure, kidney stones due to the high dosage of meds/calcium, and even cancer on day.

That said, that's why I balanced out my high protein diet with a lot of dark leafy greens, lemon water, dandelion root tea, liver heat pads, even got my bone marrow/meats sourced from free-range grass-fed non-hormone farms - I'm crazy I know but I fear all our foodstuff today, wrapped perfectly in plastic and beautifully ripened under fake sun glasshouses cause us more harm than good.  So I do try to alkanize as much as possible

But thank you for this because I'm a big fan of an alkaline based living, like yourself

Glad you are following a mainly plant based diet and are selective about what you eat!
About protein, if you think you need still more, I would take soy rather than casein, or albumin and stay away from BCAA.
For bone healing I only took lysine and arginine.

[Unicorn888 by Elaine Foo]

Glad you are following a mainly plant based diet and are selective about what you eat!
About protein, if you think you need still more, I would take soy rather than casein, or albumin and stay away from BCAA.
For bone healing I only took lysine and arginine.

Hahahah!   Looks like we're on the same wave length.  I'm scared of casein.  And yes, I've been taking lysine and arginine as well.

I didn't stick to plant based before and during lengthening, it was basically protein shakes, cheeses, eggs, meats, dark leafy greens, bone marrow etc.

Now that I've half a leg healed, I'm going back to soy protein yes!  If our theories about alkaline based living is valid, I'm sure I've shortened my lifespan by a couple of years or decades with the prolonged exposure to high levels of meds, protein, radiation etc etc etc.

That's why the best I can do now is to detox my liver, sleep a lot and exercise a lot.  And no stress, since I'm jobless )  So no, cortisone production   No sugars, no alcohol and narcotics.

[helloworld]

Hahahah!   Looks like we're on the same wave length.  I'm scared of casein.  And yes, I've been taking lysine and arginine as well.

I didn't stick to plant based before and during lengthening, it was basically protein shakes, cheeses, eggs, meats, dark leafy greens, bone marrow etc.

Now that I've half a leg healed, I'm going back to soy protein yes!  If our theories about alkaline based living is valid, I'm sure I've shortened my lifespan by a couple of years or decades with the prolonged exposure to high levels of meds, protein, radiation etc etc etc.

That's why the best I can do now is to detox my liver, sleep a lot and exercise a lot.  And no stress, since I'm jobless )  So no, cortisone production   No sugars, no alcohol and narcotics.

Great that we are on the same wave length. Also, it sucks that you already seem to have a pretty ideal diet, because it eliminates diet change as a way to get faster recovery.

[IwannaBeTaller]

Unicorn, how are you these days?

[Unicorn888 by Elaine Foo]

Unicorn, how are you these days?

Hi,

I think the people who warn others not to read my journal because it's depressing as hell are right.

I've no news of anything.  Nobody knows yet how to repair my 10cm non-union, and nail removal to change to another nail is currently risky because it might fracture my right leg further.

I know it sounds impossible to feel this way, but I've no life left.  All my friends have left because they don't know how to deal with how miserable I am.  They don't know how to deal with my handicap.  And I am to blame because I push everyone away.

Even my own family does not know how to face me.  It's a big elephant in the room that there's this daughter/sister who is a 40+ spinster, disabled, unemployed and poor.  How do we tell our friends/relatives/neighbours?

I can't even tell you how we, the people who do not recover from this surgery, fight not to end our lives.

I wish I had opioids to be addicted to, because numbing myself out seems like such a pleasant idea.  But I can't even get myself drunk let alone, get my hands on anything.  I sometimes reminisce longingly about the moments I went under general anaesthesia because I get to zone out and not face reality.  I guess when it gets unbearable, I pop a sleeping pill and go to sleep at 7pm.

I really try to wake up everyday telling myself, it's a brand new day, and it's going to change my attitude.  But it doesn't.  I take one look at myself in the mirror, wince at my painful knee, struggle to move and I lose hope.

I know everyone judges me nonstop, I've had people asking me why I don't try to walk with a straight leg or why am I hunched over so much.  Or how I should try walking without crutches.  They don't understand, I don't want to look like a monster either.  But I've no bones, my tissues are too short, I cannot pull myself up straight, my left leg cannot help but curve inwards, and cannot be straightened.  So yes, I hobble about and scare children.

I had someone else who saw my scars and exclaimed that I'll never be able to wear a skirt again.  Really?!  What I will exchange to be able to walk again, I'd go to work nked if that's what it takes.

I think avoidance is the next most painful thing I'm learning to deal with right now.  Everyone averting their eyes or avoiding to hear more bad news from me.

I had a friend visit yesterday and she asked how I was feeling.  I started to tell her and after about 5 mins, she asked if we could stop dwelling on bad stuff and watch a movie instead.  So there we were, both tuned out watching a movie so that we can protect her feelings.  That's the elephant in the room I'm talking about.

I've just become so angry with the world too, I feel like I gave a lot to receive very little back.  That in the end, nobody owes you anything, and no good deed goes unpunished.

I'm bracing myself from hurtling further down the abyss, because I don't know how much more of this I can take.  Maybe I'm suffering from chemical imbalance right now, but this is what it feels like when you do not recover from your LL 18 months later.  Take note.

Guichet still chases me for money with some collector, writes my NHS doctor that he warned me not to lengthen to 10cm but I did it in secret, that his namesake nail can never runaway and I'm psychologically confused.

So my dear doctor pours salt on my gaping wound too, why not?

[backrandom]

People considering the surgery should carefully read your diary before doing LL and take note of the many disastrous consequences they can face if things go wrong. Do you know why LL isn't more widespread? Complication-wise the surgery isn't worth it. Unicorn's diary is a good cautionary tale for everybody here. You can lose your job, your SO, and everything you care about. Worst of all, you can lose yourself in the process. Unfortunately, there have been many lost soldiers in the battle against LL complications. Unicorn is but an example of the fact that LL can be disastrous; there are many unreported bad cases I'm aware of. Take care you all and be strong, Unicorn.