Thank you for asking about me. Sorry I haven't replied in so long. Just fighting to survive every day.
I've really been through a rough time this last month, and to think that last year I naively thought things couldn't get much worse, well it has.
During the surgery in Milan 3 weeks ago, my existing left nail broke while Guichet was removing it from my left femur to perform the osteotomy. He had to hammer it out and reinsert a brand new nail through my knee. During this surgery, marrow was extracted from both pelvic areas to graft my non-union right femur as well. I was in excruciating pain, the surgery took longer than expected and even more complications arose including a suspected blood clot. The hospital, Casa di Cura Columbus, and its doctors and nurses were really top class. Definitely better than at Princess Grace Hospital in London especially when it comes to hospital food
I stayed overnight at the hospital and returned to Radisson Blu hotel to recover for the next 5 days with no helper. I relied on Room Service to feed me and when I couldn't get myself to the bathroom, I folded my British Airways boarding pass into an origami funnel so that I could pee into a garbage can and then carefully siphon it into Pellegrino bottles. The Nespresso machine water jug looked very tempting as a pee vessel but what little dignity I had left stopped me from using it. When the boarding pass got too wet and soft, I used the In-Room Dining menu folder, and even found the bible to be super useful for once.
Because I speak Italian, the nurses at the hospital put me in touch with another Guichet patient in London who has non-union after 1.5 years. I've since met with him and since he could no longer afford Guichet to repair him, he went to NHS and they're preparing to give him a real bone graft soon. My heart goes out to him because he has maintained such a positive and cheerful disposition in spite of it all.
When I got back home in London, my nurse wasn't there to help me as she had taken a new job in Poland and didn't dare tell me. So I had nobody to help out last minute and had to survive on cornflakes, water and resorted to pee-ing into my cat's water bowl because I wasn't mobile. In addition, Guichet and my GP were concerned that I might die of pulmonary embolism because of the plane ride and suspected blood clot. So they insisted that I go get an ultrasound scan. I didn't want to do it privately at his Princess Grace Hospital because it cost me £1,200 just for basic blood tests the last time and I don't have this kind of money anymore. I have already paid Guichet £69k so far and am still owing him much much more (closer to £100k) according to his new invoice.
I went to A&E of the public hospital near me and was xray-ed, blood tested and checked for infections. My wound sites at this point were oozing green liquid and my skin started to stain with red hot patches. The doctors immediately hospitalized me, gave me strong IV antibiotic drips, cleaned out all my wounds, took swabs for the lab and didn't let me go home. The reason is because if the infection reaches my bone and nail area, I risk sepsis, gangrene and amputation. Can you imagine if that would happen? At this point, I wouldn't put it past my rotten luck.
In the meantime, of course, Guichet now tells me I owe him 3x more than the £9k I paid for the Milan surgery because he had to use a new nail. He said I should be thankful to him that he didn't wake me up in the middle of general anaesthesia to make me pay him first. Apparently, he said in the US they will do that. He is charging me £10k more for 2 months' PT/Isokinetic even though I barely used last years' sessions because my left femur fractured after 2 weeks post-op. Guichet says his package expires after 2 months and I had to re-pay again. In fact, there's now a new item on his invoice to cover the running costs of his office as well, it's called Admin Fees whatever that entails.
I was so angry and stressed out to discover that I'm continuously owing him more money and that invoices keep appearing post facto for every flimsy reason - my muscles refuse to relax and I couldn't click for 2 days last week. I was crying on Facetime with his PT trying to find my clicks through 8 straight hours and finally, I had to go to Guichet's office for help. He clicked me and then made me do 30 more sets lest I pay £4k+ for clicking under general anaesthesia. 2 days later, the same thing happened again, and he made me do 135 sets. To this day, I don't know if I have fked up my left leg by following his instructions to distract close to 10mm in one day. I already have a history of non-union on my right leg and thought it might have been caused by my fast click rate of 1mm/day from start to end.
Now Guichet is chasing me to pay up and while I was howling in pain in his office trying to click, he was standing over me holding his bill and demanding that I pay. At that point, I was so desperate, what else can I do short of jumping out the window? I am not human anymore. I don't have this kind of money anymore, I had to scrap together the £9k to pay him for Milan. I told him I didn't break his nail, he did and maybe his nail was defective since it broke so easily. Same thing, I didn't fracture myself, he created the eggshell fracture in the first place as well. He said that I signed all the waivers and understood the risks and his contract stipulates that I have to pay pay and pay because only I am solely liable.
I'm currently living day to day, expecting very little, and just hoping to get through my clicks. Ironically speaking, my left leg needs extreme rotation to click (more than 120 degrees to get enough tension for a click) and it is excruciatingly painful, the mental anguish I go through 3x a day to will myself to rebreak my leg is unbearable. What are the chances? I was expecting easier clicking in exchange for non-union. Every time I think I have hit rock bottom, the rug gets pulled from under me and I free fall even lower.
I hate where my life is right now, I hate having to rebreak my leg 3x per day with so much pain and agony, I hate being unable to pay Guichet, I hate getting fat and losing my self confidence, I hate losing my social life, I hate the very real possibility that I will never get married and have kids, I hate having lost all my investments (when oil tanked twice last month, I lost all my margins and my life savings with it), I hate not being able to go back to work whenever I want and finally, I hate myself for being such a loser to be so easily preyed on.
My brother is getting married in Hawaii in September and he asked me if I could take pictures without crutches then. I hate that even my own family is ashamed of me. I just want to disappear and never be a burden to anyone again. Not even to my cat.
So, if you're still thinking about lengthening to improve your life, please think many times again about the odds that it can also ruin your life 10x over.