Hi everyone,
Guichet finally contacted me last week to schedule 3rd surgery for April 18th in MILAN. I don't have a choice but to go there to be operated. Of course, he asked for his £9k fees (even though technically the Euro is less than GBP but you will always be paying the higher of...).
And he has not refunded me any of my first surgery deposit and for my second surgery, where he said he was not going to make a profit, I found out I was being overcharged by £4k and even then, Guichet tells me that the hospital made a mistake in their fees and the receipts I had obtained showing hospital fees + anaesthetic fees totalling only <£3k are wrong, but without further supporting documentation. He told me on the phone that I may get my refunds back if I so wish, after I make the 3rd surgery payment (!). I wrote it back to him and asked him to confirm that in writing. He has chosen to ignore my message.
Better still, I get a phone call from the London hospital chasing me for unpaid hospital bills from my second surgery which I had already fully paid Guichet. I really lost it on the phone with them because I CANNOT be on the losing end on all sides. Shame on him if he stiffed the hospital after exacting so much from me. I told them to get lost and if they dare call me again, I'll set my lawyers on them.
I'm officially depressed. I take a very dim view of life currently, I hobble around like a monster and I see the worst in people. I seldom laugh and I do really hate my life and myself right now for this very horrible mistake. I was not even ugly before, I don't know why I had to be so spontaneous and stupid. The great irony is I have been wearing the same dowdy pair of shorts and nasty t-shirt since July 2016, and had to put on a dress which was too long before and guess what? I would have liked to tell you that I now look like a supermodel in it - unfortunately, the dress didn't fit me anymore because... I gained weight. Yes, the lack of activity in these last months since my lengthened femur has not fused meant that I could not put too much strain on it lest god forbid, it fractures and I lose all the lengthened height on my right leg as well. So it's a very delicate half assed guesswork balance of putting enough weight on it to encourage bone growth but not too much that I fracture the pin. Trust me, NOBODY is guiding or helping me. If I fracture my right leg, it will be my fault because I wasn't "careful" enough and if I don't fuse, Guichet tells me I've not been active enough. I lose on all ends.
I spent the last one month moving out of my old house = 80 boxes, and moving into a new one I recently purchased with renovation works delayed. So I'm sitting on gardening chairs with no furniture, covered in dust and no hot water. It's been a very very stressful time for me and my face tells it all.
My friends and family are starting to get very suspicious since I'm still in crutches after 9+ months and one of my good friends secretly told my brother that she suspects that I had leg lengthening surgery. He confronted me very angrily and I had to lie. The look on his face, he wouldn't understand and would have lost all respect for me. I keep denying it to everyone because I have lost so much self esteem and credibility amongst my close circle. People are starting to make snap judgements about my decisions - based on the fact that I seem to be at fault for making this very big erroneous judgement (and they don't even know it's for limb lengthening - they think I've made the wrong decision to go rock climbing or even choosing the wrong doctor to treat me!... Imagine if they actually knew the truth!). One of my friends called me a cripple by accident, and it cut me deep. I think I'm definitely ultra sensitive and more paranoid than usual. Or perhaps, cripples do get discriminated and we have never been in their shoes. Until now.
How did I go from the Harvard grad, retired investment banker who had lived in the US, France, Italy, Russia, speaking 7 languages to this... 42, single, no romantic or job prospects, social phobia, can't fit into my clothes and can't even walk without panting hard and sticking out my tongue to concentrate with each monstrous movement. The one thing many don't tell you about this procedure is, while you're struggling to walk, your body balance is off and you're prone to pulling and hurting your back, knees, neck etc... some days, I've to lie in bed without moving because I pulled some nerve somewhere and it immobilizes me completely. And this is when I really resent myself. I do understand why and how some people get very angry and grumpy when they're sick - it's because they're mostly angry with themselves, not the world. Themselves. Self hatred goes a very long way.
So these days, I cry at the smallest trigger, I'm on anti-depressants and I actually try not to have contact with anyone. I don't want to be hurt any more than I have endured and the slightest things do affect me. That's what the therapist calls depression. She says it's curable and with proper meds, I will one day get out of this rut. I told you before, I've become an uglier person inside.
Took another set of xrays today and my right leg shows slightly longer calluses but definitely no consolidation. I've also done the accounting of how much I've spent since deciding on this surgery and the tally is close to £100k now. Basically, whatever you need to spend on your 2-3 month surgery period has been multiplied many times over since I needed triple the amount of help, xrays, meds, sessions, transportation, delivered foods etc. on London prices. The bills keep piling up and I'm definitely not made of money. A tip for those of you planning to do this surgery, check if your country offers cosmetic surgery insurance that would cover limb lengthening - you'll be very glad you took out a policy, trust me. It didn't exist in the UK for me, but some patients I've been in touch with in other European countries took out policies and they're thanking their lucky stars they did when complications set in.
That's about it for now. Thanks Fujitora for sharing your experience, it really touched me. Courage to you. I really don't mind if I never woke up during the April 18th surgery. The point is, I was doing this to realize a dream, but it has definitely robbed me of my soul.
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Topic: UNICORN - Dr. Guichet Internal Femurs 8cm - Summer 2016 (Read 255679 times)