Hi everyone,
Apologies for the disappearance. I couldn't log into the site as I was banned indefinitely
Must be caches & cookies I've not managed to clear, manage, bake, eat etc etc etc
Now back to business... yes, I was trying to convince Dr. G to operate on me in late November before I left for vacation but he was adamant. "Non! Your bonz are not sthrong enuff!!!"
In fact, I didn't have any bones. My left fractured leg is fully healed but my right lengthened leg has zero bones. Nothing, not even calluses. Apparently whatever I had before, had receded. It's like my bone army leapt out to build a bridge, realised it's over 7.5cm long and decided to call it a day. You lazy bonz!!!
He says it's extremely rare for someone to have one leg that heals and another that doesn't. He's only had one other patient who suffered the same symptom (and that patient was taking anti-inflammatories in secret). My only conclusion is I only use my left leg, all the time and the right leg, well it's a bit too long to be useful, really. Ironic, isn't it? It feels like being a pole jumper on one leg, hence, leg to be avoided at all times.
So off I went on a 5-week vacation by the beach. I was determined... I'll walk 2 hours per day on my boneless right leg on the beach and grow bones etc etc etc.... Well... my daily routine ended up looking like breakfast in bed, lunch in bed and dinner in bed, almost.
Except for the trips to the shopping mall (YEE HAH!) and restaurants. I even managed to go to a local hospital with the nicest modern facilities to do my monthly X-rays for 1/10th the price of London. This set of X-rays now show that my right leg is growing bones again. Yippee, a little retail therapy does go a loooooong way...
I (being the pro cripple now) can safely conclude that we have to use our legs, add pressure or stress them to grow bones (Guichet's theory as well). Being an experienced cripple now, I'm the first to slash tyres and burn cars should anyone dare violate a handicap parking, in my presence. I'm now the self appointed ayatollah to handicap facilities around the world. I don't hesitate to come bearing down on you with my 2-ton crutches, hell hath no fury... I shall defend the weak and the immobile... until I grow taller.
I've since been in touch with Guichet and he says he can operate on me first week of February. Apparently, it's an outpatient procedure. He's going to remove my left leg rod, reset, re-insert. My right leg, he's contemplating extracting some marrow from moi, and violently injecting it into my right leg (kinda being violated by a staple gun maybe???). He says that will stir up new healing and for soft tissue, veins, to reconnect. He thinks non-fusion can happen when one lengthens too fast and the ends of my bones are no longer active in trying to join. Maybe I've to bribe my bones £60k? That's a good motivator, right?
So there's where I am. Taking all the same supplements and more. I'm still not resigned or depressed because here's a little dirty secret... I've clicked (BY ACCIDENT) over 3mm since I stopped lengthening (it's like 45x since mid September - I plead not guilty, your honour!). So I actually made it to 5'6" and foolhardy as I am, I'm still living the dream. Please note, DO NOT ATTEMPT THIS AT HOME... I click by accident because I'm overly flexible, don't click without your doc's supervision.
My other conclusion (girls, listen up!) is girls tend to heal much slower, especially older hens like me (missing steroids, testosterone, essentially all the guy stuff...). Guys and those under 20 tend to heal overly fast, to the point of excruciating consolidation. Whereas my lengthening, while painless in the process, was also not generating cells fast enough.
That said, I did see friends and family. HAHA. My mum & dad's like, why are you so tall (suspicious)... No mum, it's your osteoporosis... you're shrinking with age, better take some glucosamine... come come! Let's go to the pharmacy..." PHEW! Close call!
My friends didn't let me off that easily... everyone started measuring themselves to me, yikes... so I came up with a new disease... bow legged in the thighs... I had it straightened out and gained 6cm. Everyone's like... really? I didn't know that... HEE HEE!
I'll keep you guys posted when I'm closer to my surgery date. In the meantime, lots and lots of good news, I'll report all as they're confirmed, ok? Can't wait to enjoy 2017!
And yes, I can get up, walk around without crutches now... but like a zombie, because one little pig has been too lazy to go to physio or work her glutes. But hey! I'm a pre-menopausal candidate, nobody's perfect, eh?
xoxoxoxo