J+24Height Gained : 3.5cm / 162cm
Good news and bad news. Bad news is my right leg suffered a another fracture and LL has to stop. Good news is I've amnesia
Ok, catching up from my previous blog where I boasted about not having clicking pain or complications, I spoke too soon. Sometime late last week, I migrated to crutches and per Doc G's instructions, had to crutch at least an hour a day. I went on crutch laps around my house and by the same evening, my legs were on fire. Struggling at physio the next morning, Filippo kindly said it was a Friday and everyone was fed up and over exhausted by then with all kinds of ailments from the week’s rigid training programme. So we shouldn't be so hard on ourselves.
Thought nothing of it, went home and nursed my legs on fire (nothing worked!). Started overdosing on any painkiller I could get my hands on (tramadol, codeine, paracetemol, aspirin... the weak ass ones we've been prescribed
). By Saturday morning, I could no longer use my frame walker as my left leg was too tender to the touch, much less stand up. It was puffed up swollen and HURT! Throbbing nonstop. I sent pictures to Guichet and asked him if it's normal for it to swell now, OR was it part of growing up? He said it was part of the distraction process but if I could not click, I should go for an xray asap. True enough, I could no longer find my clicks. I searched into the wee hours of Sunday and managed to finish all in pure agony (it's like a very sadistic version of Pokemon Go!). I was determined not to have click catch-ups! At 15 a day, your homework piles on quick!
There was hell to pay the next day. The sound of the click had changed from a mechanical clack to a wafer crunch. It scared the living daylights out of me. I texted Guichet again on Sunday and he called me right away. I am very touched that this Doc is on call 24/7 7 days a week. He follows up personally and very diligently. He said to add 10 more clicks to see if it was just a matter of fast consolidation of the bone.
By Monday, I could no longer click, and I was a gymnast, I was contorted into pretzel on a head stand and yet no clicks were to be found (I did find 2 Pokemons mooning me). Struggled to the gym and Filippo helped me. We got 1 very weak click (again, different sound). Filippo thought it was just my body getting used to the clicks and since the length is now different, the clicking sweet spot becomes an ever changing goal post.
At this point, everyone else is crutching around like it's Formula 1 and I've regressed back to balancing on a walking frame. I asked Filippo why were my thighs different lengths. He measured and concurred and said, no worries, you'll get your xray now and see Doc G this afternoon. All will be solved.
Xrayed, waited for Doc G. The moment he stepped out of his office and saw me sitting on a wheelchair (I couldn't stand on one leg all the time anymore and the other is too short and swinging in the air like some parody of Captain Hook). He started screaming saying he doesn't have an appointment with me if I showed up in a wheelchair. It will be paralysis forever for me. I told him I didn't know how to walk with a 3cm disparity. He said look at my crotch, I've a 3cm difference in my legs and I use my hips to make up for it. I was a little confused, didn't I just pay a ton of money to get my limbs lengthened EVENLY? I don't care if he's too cheap to operate on himself! He'd probably scrimp on anaesthesia!
Anyway, I struggled to his examination table on my walker, yes, NO WHEELCHAIR enters his sacred lair EVER! And when he saw my xray he said, “Ok, you've a broken bone". It was sad. I expected him to say it was nothing but my paranoia and I’m a pussy for not withstanding pain, and not deserving to be his patient etc etc etc. I didn't want to quit so early. I didn't fall nor did I have any violent accident. He didn't fully explain but showed me how the nail cracked through my femur as mine are unusually curved. So probably related to the eggshell fracture from before. For yet another unfathomable technical reason, I lost ALL the height gained on that nail and regressed to 0 on my left leg
. Hence, the large disparity of 3cm between left and right.
I was devastated. This is where I was expecting him to tell me to pack up my bags and leave. Not at all discouraged, he put on his engineering cap and mumbled incomprehensively into his beard re different solutions etc etc etc.
Verdict : I continue lengthening my right leg to 7.5cm ish. We wait for my left leg fracture to heal (cannot do anything right now) which would take 6-12 weeks. And go for a second operation (at his charge) to restart the lengthening process again. I don't know how the nail would work but, it wasn't bent and in tip top condition, he could use the same nail but break my femur and elongate somewhere else. He was trying to show me the tension with a mechanical pencil and I started to sway in a fainting spell. Anyway, he was in his usual geek scientific zone. I half understood him, but was grateful that he was filled with solutions about screws, nuts and bolts and didn't give up on me.
For the first time ever, Doc G opened his office door, peeped furtively, and sheepishly whispered, “Bring in the wheelchair quick!”. I asked him if I could take a photo/video and post it on Youtube, and I think he immediately regretted his kind gesture.
I left so disheartened. I was doing so well before. Clicking was no issue, I was flexible and besides my spoilt sore ass syndrome, the process had not been so hard (minus post surgery days when body was in shock). To think that I've to go through the process again and an LL that would last approximately 4 months would now take about 6 months to complete didn't add to my fast sinking heart.
That said, I trudged home one legged, left leg swinging aimlessly, cat on shoulder yelling "Polly Polly". I got a bucket of KFC and sobbed my heart out into it. My glass is neither half empty nor half full, it's broken and spilled across the floor. The good news is the moment I stopped clicking, my broken leg produced not one iota of pain. It just swings uselessly like Captain Hook's. My right leg thank goodness is very well behaved for now. I'm working it hard and giving it lots of spa treats. In a lot of ways, since I don't work, it's NOT SO BAD. I'll be able to better handle the hospital (getting my own stash of heroin/cocaine/LSD!), will ask for 3-day epidural and I'll always have one good leg to lean on instead of the initial 2-broken-leg panic. It might end up beautifully since I'm focused on one at a time.
So there you go, the reason for my MIA... and I get to play truant from physio for a week YAY! Doc G told me to train the right leg at home and leave the left with a muscle stimulator electrode.
Over and out! Not much more to report. Good news is now I can concentrate on movies, books, blogs, talking on the phone, and pain threshold is at aspirin level. Just a bit of soreness. Doc said after Week 3, should be easier. Then the clicking becomes harder and you'll have soft tissue stretching pains. I started putting on make-up, doing bubble foot baths and spa-ing myself. Feeling half human now, since technically one leg is DEAD TO ME!
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Topic: UNICORN - Dr. Guichet Internal Femurs 8cm - Summer 2016 (Read 255947 times)