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[Smallguy]

Chapter 3 Loss of Sex Drive

It was 10pm at night in August and I was taking this chic home who I met several hours ago at a bakery shop. I must have impressed her a lot that day. I did the usual as I have done hundred of times in the past when I take a girl out on a date. I would them to the beach to see the sunset, cross the bridge to see the ocean view, and if we have time, I would take them up to the mountain. There with the full-view of the city, I would tell a story about my journey in India and how every lunch-time I would cross the bridge to go to my ex girlfriend former workplace for lunch.

At that moment when I take my current date home, she asked me for a farewell hug. I reached over to reach her, but I guessed she wanted something more. She stared into my eyes, and told me, "it's alright." I asked it's alright what. She said it's alright that I can kiss her. But I didn't feel interested and I couldn't get started. That was the typical relationship which I had since I came back home. My interest for women has really wane off completely. I met three women since I came back and my relationship with all of them ended badly. After that I decided it's better to lead the life of being single. The 8 seconds of pleasure is not worth the 8 hours of bull .

Oh, and another significant thing I have done since I came back was to visit my ex girlfriend's former workplace. It's a cafe shop in downtown between Robson and Jervis. When I go there, it feels like how she has describe it to me back in February. I guess there is something in life which is really hard to let go.

[Smallguy]

Here a video I made today at the gym. I want to contribute something to this forum and its member.

I tried to do some martial art but felt a little bit awkward since I have no formal training in this field.

Background: Office Clerk
Height: 5'6 (written on my driver license) but 5'10.5 in the video (5'9 + 1 inche nike shoes + .5 insole)

It seems like I have lanky legs. But keep in mind that I am wearing very short shorts and I place the camera on the ground shooting upward.

[KiloKAHN]

Thanks a lot for the video. I wish more people would show post-op videos of themselves. How do your legs feel when going on the treadmill? Do you get any shin pain at all after a while or do your legs feel normal?

[OverrideYouGenetics]

I am positively surprised by your latest video.
You look proportional. And you can even stand and lift weights. That is impressive to be frank.

Keep pushing the limits, thats how you get stronger.

Regarding the sex issues, I think it's just that you are not ready yet to go on with your life. You still have feelings for your ex. It takes time, but eventually you will find a new girl.

[BilateralDamage]

Smallguy, that video was boss!  You look so natural to me, and your proportions look great.   How do your legs feel after having that kind of workout?

Regarding sex drive, is everything working fine down there?    (that's legitimately one of my biggest fears)

[Smallguy]

Thanks a lot for the video. I wish more people would show post-op videos of themselves. How do your legs feel when going on the treadmill? Do you get any shin pain at all after a while or do your legs feel normal?

No pain. I can kick a tree trunk now if I want... so they just feel normal.

I think my biggest issue is just trying to get my ankle strength back. That's why I find doing jumping jacks or skipping ropes would help.

Keep pushing the limits, thats how you get stronger.

Thanks! It will be your turn soon. I look forward to reading your own LL journey.

How do your legs feel after having that kind of workout?

Regarding sex drive, is everything working fine down there?    (that's legitimately one of my biggest fears)

I don't feel anything. The only thing that stops me from running longer is my heart beats too quickly and I'm out of breath. Otherwise, I do feel some discomfort in my ankle and quad muscle but that doesn't stop me from going farther.

lol.... I guess everyone's post LL problem is different. Luckily I don't have knee-pain or any other pain.

I think I'm getting a little impatient with girls, which is a crucial element if you want to date them. If my interest ever comes back, I will try to solve this problem. These days, if I can squeeze into a pair of tight jean, I'm sexually satisfied

[LLL]

First of all, really amazing video, nice work, and nice recovery! Looking forward to more in the future.

I have to respectfully disagree with the people saying you look proportional though. You don't look like a freak or anything, so don't worry about that, but it's pretty obvious that your knees are higher up than most people's and that your femurs are a bit short, it's especially easy to see when you bend your knees. With regards to your upper body/sitting height vs leg length proportions it's a bit hard to say if you look proportionate or not unless we know your exact measurements and see a whole body photo.

And before anyone says it - of course it might very well be the case that most people not aware of limb lengthening wouldn't really see anything weird at all unless they already knew. With LL it's always a question of proportions vs overall height. In the end what matters most is what you're comfortable with.

If you lengthen your femurs your femur/tibia ratio will obviously look more natural, but then you risk that stilty look where your upper body and sitting height are too short and that might be really obvious and you'd have to begin compensating for your off proportions with various clothing tricks. Personally I don't think I would do it.

[Medium Drink Of Water]

You have beautiful long legs that only the most discriminating LL enthusiasts would notice anything off about. 

[Sweden]

That was nice. I wish I had such a nice gym to go to.

I've been trying to record a video for 2 months now 

[Smallguy]

First of all, really amazing video, nice work, and nice recovery! Looking forward to more in the future.

I have to respectfully disagree with the people saying you look proportional though. You don't look like a freak or anything, so don't worry about that, but it's pretty obvious that your knees are higher up than most people's and that your femurs are a bit short, it's especially easy to see when you bend your knees. With regards to your upper body/sitting height vs leg length proportions it's a bit hard to say if you look proportionate or not unless we know your exact measurements and see a whole body photo.

And before anyone says it - of course it might very well be the case that most people not aware of limb lengthening wouldn't really see anything weird at all unless they already knew. With LL it's always a question of proportions vs overall height. In the end what matters most is what you're comfortable with.

If you lengthen your femurs your femur/tibia ratio will obviously look more natural, but then you risk that stilty look where your upper body and sitting height are too short and that might be really obvious and you'd have to begin compensating for your off proportions with various clothing tricks. Personally I don't think I would do it.

Thanks for the comment. Proportion is a big thing for me because I have personally seen many patients at Sarin's guesthouse who lengthen themselves to be out of proportion. And it didn't look good one bit. My first roommate who lengthened from 5'3.5 to 5'11 and he stood next to an indian maid who was 5'10 to show me how tall he was. My roommate crotch was at the same level as the indian maid's stomach.... can you imagine, two guys with the same height. One has a dck level as another guy stomach. And he was obese too. So he looked like a balloon with two long pair of legs. I told him that "his proportion looks great," but inside, I knew that he didn't look good one bit.

Actually, Apo said that after lengthing 20cm (?) women have a deary look when they see him. I suspect that they look that way not out of admiration like he has hoped, but because they feel sorry for him now that he looks like a freak.... with long skinny legs, rounded upper body and bald head. If you see Tall from old forum , you'll see another idiot who is now over 6'5 (12cm femur + 6.5cm tib?) And people would have less respect for him than when he was at his original height of 5'10. Sorry guys, I'm bit harsh in these comments because I just had a good-day.

You see myself looking in the video that way because

1. I'm wearing 1.5 inches lift (1inch nike shoes + .5 insole) and

2. I place the camera on the ground shooting upward.

So if you were to see me in person, I look nothing like what's shown in the video. Plus, my dream is always to be able to wear Mephisto flat shoes. Unfortunately, I don't feel good without my high heel nike shoes. So by completing another 3 inches, 1.5 will be for wearing flat shoes and 1.5 will be for vanity sake, I wouldn't look that much taller than what you see in the video.

[Smallguy]

You have beautiful long legs that only the most discriminating LL enthusiasts would notice anything off about. 

Thanks buddy. I feel like I can compete with my ex now that I see the word "beautiful" applies to me. Something which never happens before.

That was nice. I wish I had such a nice gym to go to.

I've been trying to record a video for 2 months now 

If I have I would have recorded outside. My city is known for its mountain, beaches, bridges and beautiful scenery.

Well, if you like what you see, you can always move here if you want

[Smallguy]

Street



This beach brings back some memories. I normally took my dates here back when I was 5'6. You can see there is one. Haha.



Took this one last summer when I came back.

[Taller]

Seeing you lookin' good at 5'10 in shoes, I think you deserve a username upgrade   

[Smallguy]

Seeing you lookin' good at 5'10 in shoes, I think you deserve a username upgrade   

Thanks buddy.

I enjoy sticking to my root. I remember where I came from. Even if I can do another surgery for +8cm, I will always appreciate and look out for the little guy. Whenever there is a fight or a competition, I always root for the small guy.

[Taller]

Whenever there is a fight or a competition, I always root for the small guy.

Me too! Seeing Russell Wilson at 178-180 CM triumph over 196 CM Peyton Manning in the Super Bowl (sorry if you don't watch American football) was incredibly inspirational for me. "Experts" told him that he was too small to succeed and he proved them wrong. It shows that there is hope for the small guys out there and that we can achieve anything.  We just have to work harder for it, but, hey, that means that we appreciate it more when we succeed!

[krin0610]

Thanks for the info regarding the hydrolic nail.

Ballerina usually goes down by itself. I find jogging helps with my ankle agility. Good to hear that you achieve your goal.

Would you consider another femur operation? Or it's too early to tell? Keep in touch!

No way for a 2nd LL. I am done with this and pretty much OK with my achieved height (Should be around 5'11 now from 5'.


Thanks

[Doflamingo]

Hey Smallguy,

First of all you look great .
I have to be honest and say you have x-legs, one is more "bent" than the other.
Don't worry though, my friend (studying medics in university) said that it is actually not that bad as it is as long it's not the bone that is "bent". If it's the bone the only way to fix this is by a surgery. If not you can fix it by daily excercise and training.
Maybe seek a doctor and show him your x rays?

[Smallguy]

Thanks Doflamingo,

This quest for bodily beauty has really taken a toll on me. If I could trade this 3 inches to have my gf back, I would trade it at once.

After this, I was hoping that my LL would have a perfect ending. Unfortunately I still have x-Ray and my left is shorter than my right by 1cm. I'm more eager now to see my orthopaedic than ever. Hopefully he can fix this and will update you on the x-Ray!

And for you. Contrary to what other ppl say and base on your own situation, I think you should go for 3 + 3. 3inches on the tib using Lon to save money. And +3 on femur using internal.

I think if you're Asian than you should have the proportion to lengthen this much! At 5'8 life would be great still and who knows. If you live long enough there may even be technology to lengthen your torso one day.

[mediocre]

Hi Smallguy, you look great with your proportion.

I think you should reconsider doing another 8cm and go for more conservative LL on your femur, as you might be near your optimum proportion already.

BTW, are you serious about this statement?

If you live long enough there may even be technology to lengthen your torso one day.

Thanks.

[Smallguy]

Yes, I'm serious. My credibility has taken a dive by now. But I didn't say it just to cheer short ppl but I truly believe it. I know I'm more optimistic than most guys on this forum. But as technology advances and there is a market for this procedure, torso lengthen, entrepreneur/doctors will capitalize on this procedure once the technology becomes available :-)

Thanks. I'm wearing 1.5 inches of platform in the video. So I think I could have room for at least 5cm more and come back home to wear flat shoes. But I will be careful of not overdoing it if I ever have a chance for another LL at all.

[mediocre]

I wish you all the best brother, whichever way you decide!
Hope it will turn out well in the end.

Yes, I'm serious. My credibility has taken a dive by now. But I didn't say it just to cheer short ppl but I truly believe it. I know I'm more optimistic than most guys on this forum. But as technology advances and there is a market for this procedure, torso lengthen, entrepreneur/doctors will capitalize on this procedure once the technology becomes available :-)

Thanks. I'm wearing 1.5 inches of platform in the video. So I think I could have room for at least 5cm more and come back home to wear flat shoes. But I will be careful of not overdoing it if I ever have a chance for another LL at all.

[Smallguy]

Thanks. These surgeries are riddle with complications and random outcome. Even if you go with the very best doctor, it's very hard to achieve a perfect outcome. I have read of many post-surgical complications from Dr. Betz. I also paid $7800 to go with the very best orthodontic for braces. But my mid-line is still shifted to the left by 1mm! My friend has rhinoplasty with the very best surgeon but after one year her nose tip dropped. She came to him yesterday and he told her that he couldn't help her with the current technology and that she could come back the same time next year. Her nose still looked great (compare if she has gone to a cheap doc) but it wasn't perfect.

So the only thing you can do from these type of surgeries is just hope for the best and maybe try to solve any problem if they do occur. I'm going back to my orthopaedic to fix this 1cm discrepancy as well as the x-leg.

I can be content with my height now. But I just feel I still want to chase after my ideal. I'm still young, single and still want to compete for the best which life has to offer.

I don't suffer from any sort of pain, can run better everyday and enjoy more and more of life. Perhaps, that's why I feel so optimistic about this surgery.

[Polycrates.]

Hey Smallguy,

It sucks to hear that you have a 1cm discrepancy. I remember a while back you mentioned Sarin verified the equal distraction of the legs before frame removal when I mentioned I was worried about this occurring to me. I think I mentioned that Sringari wasn't even doing this earlier in the year. He was merely going by the measurement produced from the cheap x-rays we get at Paras. He said he's doing a verification now, but as the end draws near for me, this is something becoming more and more worrisome to me. I expressed my trepidation to the doctor and he said he'll get Harry to take me to a CT scan before frame removal as well as the final verification. Guess there's not much else I can do.

[Smallguy]

Well, it's good that you have read this. Then you can fix it while you're still in frame. The measurement at that para hospital was incorrect, but I believe it was even more accurate than the ones Sarin use at his hospital. That's really sad!

To fix this, just measure your legs manually. I was suspicious at the gym when I felt my left knee was slight lower than my right. When I got home, I decided to measure them both with a measuring tap. You can measure the bottom of your heel up to the top of your knee and compare both legs. This will give you a broad idea of your legs proportion and if there is a discrepancy, fix it while your bones have not consolidated yet.

Yes, again... I will try to see if our benevolent medical system will save me from this one. I will call to schedule an appointment to see the orthopaedic surgeon sometime next month.

[Polycrates.]

Godspeed, Colinthesmall

[Sweatpants]

Hey Smallguy,

You nickname does not suits you any more  , but I am not the first one who tells you that, right. Your videos look great, especially after all you've been through (5 surgeries, discrepancy etc) . congrats on your achievements, new heght-new life

I don't know how young are you,  broken heart hurts the same at any age, but heals better when you are young. We tend to think about good things that happened to us while we were in the relationship, but if you think about some negatives, something that wasn't particularly right in your relationshion, maybe it would be easier for you to go on with your life and enjoy again that 8hours/8minutes universal play 

BTW, there's cosmetic surgical scar removal, I don't know the prices yet, but my guess shouldn't be that high. Could be an option.

Anyway good luck on everything.

[Disobedient]

Smallguy,


In your spare time, could you share the names of the Korean songs? Lol - they're pretty good. How do you know so much about Korean bands?

if you liked those musics maybe then you should give a shot for other bands like
Bi Rain (bad boy, rainsim, hip song)
Lee hyori (10minutes, miss korea, bad girls, chitty chitty bang bang, u go go girl)
Big Bang ( fantastic-baby, lie, haru haru, blue, la la la , Hallelujah, A good man, baby goodnight, Ego)
JYJ( Empty heart, Why did I fall in love, mirotic, Intoxication)
Beast (shadow, caffeine, trouble maker, Now, fiction)
snsd( taxi, boys, Run devil Run, oh, Gee)
CN blue (loner, intuition)
sistar ( my boy, Alone, gone not around, give it to me)
4 min (hot issue, HuH, volume up)
kara ( Wanna do, runaway, mister)
EXO(MAMA)
it would be better if you watching them live
 

[Muse]

Well, it's good that you have read this. Then you can fix it while you're still in frame. The measurement at that para hospital was incorrect, but I believe it was even more accurate than the ones Sarin use at his hospital. That's really sad!

To fix this, just measure your legs manually. I was suspicious at the gym when I felt my left knee was slight lower than my right. When I got home, I decided to measure them both with a measuring tap. You can measure the bottom of your heel up to the top of your knee and compare both legs. This will give you a broad idea of your legs proportion and if there is a discrepancy, fix it while your bones have not consolidated yet.
 

I have heard same feedback from another patient of Dr Sarin  that the Doctor does not compensate for limb length discrepancy of because he does not measure the overall bone with sophisticated software.

Dr. Sarin may just take a regular tape measure and randomly measure two spots on your leg and re-assure you they are "equal" but in reality they are not...this is what happened to multiple patients, one of whom was the HLN patient who ended up with 1-2 cm discrepancy because of this.

[mediocre]

Thanks for the internet that we're getting this info.

It's just hard to believe that some people will trust their life and their future with little research, and some even push thru even knowing those disturbing reviews.

I have heard same feedback from another patient of Dr Sarin  that the Doctor does not compensate for limb length discrepancy of because he does not measure the overall bone with sophisticated software.

Dr. Sarin may just take a regular tape measure and randomly measure two spots on your leg and re-assure you they are "equal" but in reality they are not...this is what happened to multiple patients, one of whom was the HLN patient who ended up with 1-2 cm discrepancy because of this.

[Goodnews]

I'm sorry to change the subject, I just don't know whose diary this question would go on to..

There was someone doing LL with Sarin a bit back, who contracted Malaria. I keep thinking about him and concerned and worried about him.

Does anyone recall who he is and does anyone know, if he's doing okay. My recollection was that he was from the US and had been in the Military.

I would appreciate it, if someone knows how he's doing or if he's reading this, could you please let us know how you are.

[Smallguy]

I'm sorry to change the subject, I just don't know whose diary this question would go on to..

There was someone doing LL with Sarin a bit back, who contracted Malaria. I keep thinking about him and concerned and worried about him.

Does anyone recall who he is and does anyone know, if he's doing okay. My recollection was that he was from the US and had been in the Military.

I would appreciate it, if someone knows how he's doing or if he's reading this, could you please let us know how you are.

You mean 7withSarin? I can't disclose anything about him. But I`ve chatted with him a month ago and he's doing fine now.

I have heard same feedback from another patient of Dr Sarin  that the Doctor does not compensate for limb length discrepancy of because he does not measure the overall bone with sophisticated software.

Dr. Sarin may just take a regular tape measure and randomly measure two spots on your leg and re-assure you they are "equal" but in reality they are not...this is what happened to multiple patients, one of whom was the HLN patient who ended up with 1-2 cm discrepancy because of this.

Good to know that. The 1cm discrepancy isn`t affecting me much. You probably wouldn`t notice it from my video. It`s more like an ideal thing and I`m determined to get it fixed.

Hey Smallguy,

You nickname does not suits you any more  , but I am not the first one who tells you that, right. Your videos look great, especially after all you've been through (5 surgeries, discrepancy etc) . congrats on your achievements, new heght-new life

I don't know how young are you,  broken heart hurts the same at any age, but heals better when you are young. We tend to think about good things that happened to us while we were in the relationship, but if you think about some negatives, something that wasn't particularly right in your relationshion, maybe it would be easier for you to go on with your life and enjoy again that 8hours/8minutes universal play 

BTW, there's cosmetic surgical scar removal, I don't know the prices yet, but my guess shouldn't be that high. Could be an option.

Anyway good luck on everything.

Thanks. I`m currently using a facial skin peeling product for my scars. I`m beginning to see flakes around the scar area and new skins are developing. If it doesn`t work, I will go with Dr. Jason River. He`s the best dermatologist in Vancouver but he charges $650 for fraxel facial treatment. Maybe it will be less for legs.

Now that I`m realizing that some people actually read my diary (I receive some PM), I feel like I want to edit it to make it more upbeat. To disappoint my readers worst, my reason for working out at the gym every day is not for the sake of recovering. In fact with my sedentary lifestyle, I just need to walk from my bed to my car, and that`s enough. But during these past few months, I have been secretly trying to workout at the gym so I can win my ex gf back. Instead of meeting her ever again, I met someone else different this weekend. She`s a 5`8 girl, who rejected me 2 years ago. Her persona about me totally changed. If anyone is interested in finding out what happen, let me know and I can write chapter 4 this weekend