I would like to devote a couple moments to addressing my post where I shared my desperation about my size.
I understand how it could disturb folks who have not undergone lengthening, and who probably stand at a much smaller height, to witness such a distressing post. In fact, one of you called me an "attention seeker" even though I am simply opening up about my true feelings in my own personal diary. lol
Wow Bohemia! How does the novelty of 8cm wear off that fast?!
Truth be told, I have a very unique style of dressing—sort of gothic and alternative, unusual for a man. I have always worn large 3.5 inch platform boots, long before I ever lengthened. Never once did a person accuse me of utilizing them for height, but rather they always commented that they matched my character or personality.
When I wear these boots today, I stand at 6'0". Behold, below:
I myself confess that I appear undeniably tall in that photo, and tower over 90% of people, especially women. In fact, it has become particularly apparent to me how short women are in general, an observation that has stuck out to me as I physically look down at them every day now.
When I remove these weird boots, and wear ordinary shoes that have a 1 inch heel, I feel small again, and the height dysphoria resumes as it did prior to the treatment. Needless to say, I cannot compare platform boots to normal shoes, but I honestly do not wish to tether myself to these kooky shoes forever just to feel sane.
Sorry to hear how you are feeling. I agree with others when they say that it's too early to become accustomed to your new height. Just concentrate on your full recovery and don't worry too much about the world around you for now.
metamorphosis: a change of the form or nature of a thing or person into a completely different one, by natural or supernatural means.
this entire process(not just physical) takes time.
I agree. I will concentrate on completing this fully, then analyze my height later.
To be honest, 5'8.5" is still small, even people who are 5'10 and 5'11 nowadays are still having height phobia.
The only height which is considered not small is 190cm+ who happens to be my German roommate. He actually told everyone he felt big. Or you can try and become a rap star who looks big on TV and in music but small in person.
Eventually there will come a day where we can increase 20cm+ safely and economically. Until then, I just be content with myself and check up the news once in a while for something positive.
Today's news... James Deen, pornstar who is watched by Taylor Swift, is 170cm. You're taller than him if that makes you feel better
I never imagined I would agree, but truly, under 180 cm (or 190 as you said) does feel small, no matter how I cut it.
Standing taller than a notorious porn star does amuse me. lol And I am the same height as numerous famous Hollywood actors, and such.
I believe it's just the fact that now you know it's possible to get taller but congrats and wow 5' 8.5" is an amazing height in my eyes. But of course I'm only 5' 4" so that sounds great to me. I think you just need time and after 3-5 months if you still not satisfied then you have option.
Don't forget at what height you started 8cm is an enormous accomplishment
When I was 5'5.5" I dreamed of being over 5'7". So yes, I do agree with you.
Bohemia,
you are the same with 8 cms more than before, You have now a bit more confidence.
You are the same without 8 Kg less than before. You have now a bit more confidence.
Enjoy the path and you new height. Give you time.
we are Never going to be enough tall to play in the NBA, you can know this.
Is you are a normal boy after LL you will be a normal boy but taller
Cheers
True, true.
I agree with Dave. You should take at least a year or two for yourself. Pursue some interest that you enjoy and just get LL out of your head while you recover. If after that time your height is still bothering you, you'll know what to do. It's been 5 years since I had the surgery. On the other hand, you don't want to wait too long because when it comes to healing, there's nothing like a young body. Don't waste your life in depression. Enjoy each step in the process and remember to celebrate the victories in your life as they come. DoingItForMe ... You're a bit taller than me. 5'9'' is a fine height
Depression about the physical body does seem like a waste of time, especially when on paper my height seems perfectly acceptable. But when I stand beside people, I feel small again. It aggravates me.
I would argue for you too seek therapy in your case Bohemia. I can understand the need to keep going in terms of becoming even taller then what you've achieved but perhaps therapy could help alleviate some pain you're mentally feeling right now. Ultimately, I don't know it will work or not, but considering the implications of going through this process again you should try as best you can to make sure you're not gonna rush into it.
I have considered it, thank you.
LL doesn't cure depression and body dysmorphia. Those need to be cured psychologically.
Bohemia, try wearing some 1.5" shoes/shoe lifts for a while and seeing if this helps you with your height dysmorphia. If it doesn't, then another surgery probably won't cure it. I wear quite thick soled sneakers to get me to 5'10", and I don't feel short at all. My height dysmorphia is gone. I think you can get away with adding an inch to your shoes without anyone calling you out on it.
How tall are you now, M, to still feel short in the airport crowd after LL?
Yes, I definitely will—probably for the remainder of my life. Sigh. So be it.
Hey Bohemia! This is totally understandable. Remember at this very moment it is totally out of your control. At this moment you are going to have to let your body recuperate before you even can go in for another surgery. I urge you to not sweat this while it's out of your control. You made a great step in transforming your life. Take a step back and appreciate what you have achieved so far. Now it's time for you to dive into your work or whatever you were thinking you wanted to achieve after this last surgery. If in three months from now you want to do that surgery, awesome! You've just gone through some discipline to spend three months healing your body. That takes amazing commitment. Take 3 months to commit to another goal. It doesn't mean you are going to relinquish goal of having another surgery. It just means your mind needs something else to commit to while you heal from your existing surgery.
Very true! Thank you for the moral support. I have simply resigned myself to the next 8 months of bone osteogenesis. There is, as you said, nothing I can do besides that currently.
You don't need therapy my friend. You need to be 5'10'' + ... I lengthened my femurs and experienced the same disappointment in the airport on the way home when I realized I still felt short in the crowd. In fact, I remember thinking to myself, "Wow, I don't feel much of a difference at all." The good news is that lengthening both segments gives the best visual result anyway. I'm going back for tibs for a few reasons: 1.) I still feel short 2.) my gait is off because my femurs are disproportionately long 3.) lengthening both segments most certainly produces the best aesthetic ... you'll look normal ... just a lot taller. I've enjoyed your diary so much. In your disappointment, don't forget that you've won something for yourself. What you did is unheard of in the general population. You just need a bit more ... Believe me, if you do your tibs also, your height will really pop. There won't be any doubt. I'm considering Monegal myself. Would you recommend him for internal tibias? I consulted with Mahboubian as well, but the price is steep in L.A. We'll see ...
Wow, so you agree with me, and will undergo a round two?!
Would you agree that the additional three inches or so has felt helpful, but did not revolutionize your height? I feel like I have finally become average size-wise, but it does not feel beautiful or exceptional as I have always dreamed.
For example, when I wear the platform boots, I feel like a gorgeous specimen of humanity. Honestly, the sense of standing above everyone else feels liberating. It sounds corny, but accurate! I possess a very strong personality, and my physical body does not quite match my character.
I definitely recommend Dr. Monegal. The guy still chats with me on Whatsapp every week for like a half hour. He will become a dear friend of yours.
***
All in all, I did not mean to disturb or dishearten anyone—I still recommend limb lengthening at the moment. I feel about 50/50 on doing a second round, and finally sympathize with the men who do lengthening when they are already quite tall. I suspect the simplicity of the whole experience surprised me, and thus doing it again does not seem so crazy.