Maximize- You are right about it being our obsession (women). We are the ones who created this, it's not you men. It's very sad, I see that now that my sons are short. I wish it were different.
Also this kind of works both ways/ Women starve themselves, tan, get boob jobs, anything to look younger (lifts, peels, etc) because of what most men "want" and because those are the women who get they guy's attention. However, nothing compares to LL ... Not even close.
I'm glad you at least have developed some insight now at your middle years to realize this. Sorry, but your situation is a bit funny to me.
Short women (eg. 5'2") who feel compelled to marry a tall man (eg. 6') are from what I've seen typically among the most height neurosed people on the planet. The fact that you say you "always had a gut feeling both [your] boys would be short", you are "obsessed" with the issue, and it "was hard" that your sister's son grew taller tells me pretty well what type of girl you were and are.
I wonder if a woman like you now thinks back to when you were 17-25 and going to the bar or at school. I wonder if you harshly blew off shorter guys without even giving them a second thought, all the while fawning over and gossiping about the taller guys. It must be kind of messed up to realize that it was short guys like your son you were mistreating, and that now a new generation of girls is paying that forward onto him.
I don't know you, Shortgenes, so perhaps I'm wrong. But from the way you talk about this issue, I am willing to bet I'm not far off the mark.
You do not represent women just because you are a woman, nor do you represent mothers because you are a mother. It is really a shame that you are fixating on the flaws of your son and not on his positive qualities.
To see which gender is the primary origin of height neurosis, I think we only have to compare heterosexual and gay couples. In heterosexual relationships, 98.3% of women outwardly REFUSE to date any man shorter than them. On the other hand, only half of gay men want a guy who is taller than them. The other half either want a guy who is the same height or shorter than them.
In other words, women are almost universally prejudiced against shorter men, while gay men are quite balanced on the issue. I bet if you studied the sexual orientation of men getting limb lengthening you would find we are almost universally heterosexual, and the prevalence of leg lengthening among gay men is almost nil.
Sexual selection is a powerful motivating force. If girls woke up tomorrow and as a gender started preferring short guys instead of tall ones, I am willing to bet this forum would empty out by about 85% or more.
Women are almost universally the creators of this issue. Yes, men judge each other based on height as well. But most of us hetero men care a lot more about how a girl we like is judging us vs. how the guy we chatted with at the office sees us.
You are correct in your other post that it is usually not a binary system that women apply to sexual selection. There are a lot of factors to consider. But for almost all women height is the first filter they apply (tall enough or not, typically followed by racial filtering, and then facial attractiveness and other attributes).
Many women won't search on online dating for any man less than for example 5'9-5'10. For some women it is 6' or nothing (despite the fact that only 15% of men are this tall), and they'll take tall, sleezy dirtbags over short, decent men every time. Shorter men are generally not even allowed to donate sperm, even if they are astronauts or Nobel prize winners, because women find the idea of propagating short genetics repugnant.
It is inarguable women are as a gender obsessed with height. I think it is also fairly inarguable that this is the core origin of the anxiety that the majority of us shorter men face over the issue.
Author
Topic: I don't know how to share LL with my son (Read 7452 times)