Hey BD, how are you feeling as the days draw closer to your surgery date? Getting nervous?
A tad nervous but most of all... this is feeling more
real than anything! I already had my car shipped and on Monday, I'm finally flying down to Florida and moving into the Homewood Suites.
I'm excited but also a little weary of just
how difficult it will be not to have the full standing and walking capabilities of my legs for the next few months.. I have a few meetings I'll be flying out for so I'm crossing my fingers that I'll be functional enough for them (and the flights). Right now, I'm not taking for granted any little things my legs do (like being able to jog to the bathroom when I really need to use it!
)
To add some more notes on sentiment before surgery, I was very nervous about my family finding out about my LL. My family likes to keep track of
everything I do, so I had to construe a lot of deceitful stories to make me leaving the state for the summer make sense. They ate it all up and I'm in the clear, but it does feel wrong of me for lying to them. I had considered coming out and telling them all about my surgery, but I realized the price saved in living costs and support I'll receive isn't worth the life long judgment I'll face. When I'm dating girlfriends, marrying, having kids, towering over family, etc.. they'll know in the back of their minds it's a lie. To me, it makes sense that I'm doing this surgery, but to them, they'll never fully comprehend. So I'm on this one alone!
As far as loneliness goes, I've always been both an extrovert and a person who really takes solace in his personal space. So I'm not worried about getting lonely this summer. Also, I'm really excited for the change of scenery.
I'm viewing this summer as an opportunity not only to improve both physically and the way I perceive myself, but as also an opportunity to meet new people and enjoy the summer sun.