@DoingItForMe - responding to multiple posts and jumping in your conversation with Body Builder
I agree that increasing height by 3" in online dating should be pretty eye-opening for most people in that not much will change. You'll still be lost in a forest of men that women are cherry picking from. However, I'm currently in a relationship so I can't really do the test myself. Most of my dates came from meeting women IRL anyway, and 3" lifts are too obvious to wear. I do know that there are are spots where I could improve my online dating game aside from being taller, with lifestyle certainly being one of them. I am trying to take more exciting pictures when I'm out traveling and doing stuff in case I need it in the future! You mentioned to Body Builder that the cost of LL could easily be spent on non-LL things that could improve your dating profile. But if there are a bunch of pictures of you traveling to exotic places and living a lifestyle beyond your means, then that is what girls would expect when you are actually dating them. Is spending money in that way merely to enhance your dating profile any more real than doing LL?
I've spent maybe $10,000 on trips in the past year or so. If LL was $50,000, I'd have enough for another 4 years of trips. $10,000 is enough trips to take great pics. You only have 5 profile pics anyway. 5 trips. $10,000. Done deal. But if you don't want to spend $10,000, then do volunteering pics. I have pics of me doing charity work. That gets a lot of comments and likes, too.
Regarding attractiveness vs. personality, I have been with attractive girls only to realize a few weeks later that there's nothing there except the physical aspect. The chemical rush of the initial attraction can definitely blind you to other flaws such as a lackluster personality. We are human after all. But LL would definitely improve the odds of finding someone with both a good physical appearance and a good personality instead of having to sacrifice one for the other. You're right that looks fade over time, but that is not a reason to avoid maximizing the amount of time your partner has good looks, especially if you plan to be in it for the long haul. Personality can fluctuate over time too. Can you say that you're the same person as you were ten years ago as much as you can say you looked the same? If you have enough options to be considering a 8 in looks and 10 in personality vs a 10 in looks and 8 in personality.. well I think you're doing pretty good either way. Plus personality is subjective to an extent and your 8 might be someone else's 10. Then again, so are looks lol.
Honestly, when girls tell me why they date me. It's not because of my looks or my height. It's because they find me intelligent and funny and caring. Then you might say, "That's BS, if you were 5'6", she wouldn't date you." Well guess what guys? I went ahead and asked the 5'9" blonde/blue-eyed bombshell who I'm seeing if she would date me if I was 3" shorter. I was expecting her to say, "Probably not." or lie and say, "Yes, of course." Her response? "I actually dated a 5'6" guy for a while. I also dated a 6'1" guy for a while, too." Then I asked her if his height bothered her, and she said, "That 5'6" guy made me feel more secure because he was muscular. The 6'1" guy was really skinny, so it felt like I was protecting him instead of him protecting me."
Regarding the maturity of women (and defining mature as seeking out financial stability, etc over looks, height, etc.) I'm not sure I agree with your assessment. Sure, the level of maturity varies from woman to woman, but if you observe carefully you should notice that quite a few women become "mature" right around the time they've realized that they can't capitalize on their looks forever. At that point they decide they want to settle down and find a stable provider type, but is that really them maturing or has their hand simply been forced? How do you know if the "maturity" is authentic or if they just don't think they can get that tall and handsome guy anymore?
Because I've dated 18 year olds who thought this way before, and cared more about stability than looks. She said that she cared more about feeling secure than dating a good-looking loser. She said she dates older guys because of this reason. It's subjective to say whether or not this means that the girl is mature. But it's definitely differs from girl to girl. Some of you guys reject these girls by calling them gold diggers. But gold digging has various degrees. Some don't want your money. They just don't want a loser boyfriend who has no money, or spent all his savings on cosmetic surgery.
These mature women also happen to be the ones with quite a lot of baggage from the past, whether it's kids or the guy that got away. Yes, you can say that not all girls are like this, and some of them want a decent guy at a younger age when they still have plenty of options. These girls exist, but a lot of them get snatched up in college and you won't ever get a chance to meet them. The rest that are still single after they start working are rare, but once you add in a minimum threshold of attractiveness... well now we're talking exceedingly rare. Plus every other guy from age 18 to 60 is going after them too! The demand greatly exceeds the supply, so every advantage helps.. not all of us are millionaires haha! I really hope that these are the types of girls that are on your rich guy dating sites because in the general public I think it's like finding a needle in a haystack. Also regarding those sites I would also say to watch out for adverse selection. Consider that girls on rich guy dating sites are obviously going to say they prefer stability over looks. How many are going to like a picture of you with a million dollar car? Wouldn't that just arouse the guy's suspicion? How do you know that the same girls that say they like being pampered on those sites don't also have a Tinder profile and match every guy with a shirtless six pack picture? I guess what I'm trying to say is that women liking guys for either their looks or as a provider is not so black and white. I think most women would want both, but realistically she needs to consider what she brings to the table and then plays her cards in the way that benefits herself the most.
Because I speak with these girls. And you're right, they could be matching on Tinder and screwing with a 6-pack guy. Who knows? I actually do know a few girls who try to have a sugar daddy while screwing a cute young boyfriend as well. But you can sort of figure out which girl is crazy by speaking with them and seeing how often they check their phone and whether or not they date you on Valentine's Day, and etc. But the girl I've been sleeping with now is slim blonde, blue-eyed 5'8" (not the same as the 5'9" girl I'm talking to as well), under 25, speaks 4 languages, plays video games, and comes from a wealthy family. She told me that she dates older men mainly because younger guys are stupid, immature, and/or inexperienced. I'm significantly older than her, and yet she has never asked me about my finances. She pays for her own stuff. And when she's dating me, she never checks her phone. You think maybe it's rare, but honestly, I've been talking to at least 3 other girls who are potentially the same or better. Maybe I'm just really lucky and attract these girls. Guess which picture attracted the girl? Nope, not the cars and stuff, because she's wealthy herself. The charity photos did.
Also on your other note, I have been in a long and serious relationship before. I would say on top of all the passive short guy hate accumulated over time, a lot of the guys on this site have a tipping point that brought them to LL.. usually in the form of a girl. Well this girl is the one who pushed me there. I dated her toward the end of college and during the first few years out of school. Everything was great at first - she was my ideal type both physically and intellectually, so I thought she was the one. However, long story short by mentally settling down I allowed my ambition to be reduced, which ultimately distanced her. Before we broke up she cheated on me with a guy who happened to be a lot taller. I was pretty stupid at the time and tried to reconcile things with her, which made her even more unhappy. I acted desperate and clingy then and she said a lot of excessively terrible and hurtful things regarding my height just to push me away. I think she figured out that it was a way to push my buttons. Looking back I don't think the primary reason she dumped me is because of my height, but at the time I was so certain that it was. She was never pleased about my height but obviously she was okay with it at some point while we were dating. All of the stuff she said about my height definitely had a psychological effect though. It drove me to read more about height and eventually learn about LL.
Ultimately I got over her and with that my height neurosis mostly went away, but just knowing about the existence of LL is something that can never go away. I don't think about LL nearly as much as I used to; lately it's more of an occasional thing when I get a reminder from something I hear.. usually a girl mentioning height. This has happened way too many times - a girl I am on a date with mentions a past boyfriend's height (over 6' of course) or asks me how tall I am when we're standing next to each other. I think it's some kind of power play which I am decent at deflecting since it rarely stops me from scoring, but it's still a downer!
I just want to be average height and not feel bad when people are talking about short guys whether directly to me or as a general topic of conversation. I want to answer what my height is without feeling challenged or thinking about LL. Maybe then I will never think about height ever again. I think that's kind of what you've experienced, minus our posts on your diary dragging you back to the forum
Like I said, I think it'll improve your dating life. But just not like by a lot. It'll give you access to taller girls, but I find shorter girls to be just as awesome as the taller ones. So there's this other girl, brunette, stunning 5'9" who I've been seeing as well. I asked her if me being 5'9" would bother her, because she can't wear heels. She said, no, because she will still continue wearing heels - making her 6'. Then she asked if it'd bother me. I said confidently, "No, not at all. I'm more than just my height." She agreed, and that was that. Some girls simply don't care about the height stuff. Actually, most of the girls who I like don't care much about height. And they're all pretty mature girls, even though their age range is only from 20-28 years old. The ones who write like "6 foot+ guys only" also tend to have pretty ditzy written profiles. So, yes, I do find that maybe some guys on here are just chasing after the wrong type of girls.