Thanks, Bigguy! It was inspiring to read all you wrote
I did a few measurements today. I was 87 kg (1,65 cm) when I returned from the United States. I dropped to 80 kg's before surgery. I was able to stand on a scale today and I was around 75 kg (1,72 cm). My next goal is 68 kg so I started a diet as soon as possible. Lost 12 kg so far, added 7 cm in height - the Body Mass Index change is huge.
When I stand up, I look like those skinny rockstars wearing jeans and no top. I have some upper body muscle from +3 years of workout, anyone can tell, but it's far from perfect. Still, it's a good place to start and building back again. I can wear my old pants again. My face needs to be more skinny, that's why I stick to the diet religiously. No alcohol, no fizzy sugared drinks. Only water. No dessert, no "whites" (pasta, bread, etc.). No eating after 8 PM.
I use skin cleaners/exfoliators (Neutrogena) and skin revitalizing creams (L'Oreal Revitalift). The TV show castings start around late October. I should be ready by then. All I'm undecided about at the moment is my hair. I look very manly with a beard + short hair. At the moment I'm clean shaven + growing my hair, and I look maybe 5 years younger. Perhaps the hair should go.
I look much better with good clothes. I couldn't wear topcoats/trenchcoats when I was shorter. It looked ridiculous on me. Now they fit. I'm much more comfortable wearing a suit and tie (although I still feel that I need to be thinner when I'm wearing a suit).
I have a huge obstacle in dating: My social scene. I studied high school in Turkey, and college in the US. Now my friends from college are back there. My friends from high school are still abroad, studying (why - because I graduated 1 year early to be able to do LL as soon as possible). So at a young age, I changed my social scene a few times. It's no excuse, but it would've been better if I was still in college. That's why I still frequently hang out in college settings. I could meet people at bars, but I'd prefer to meet them in libraries, you know what I mean. So all I have right now is either getting my ex back, hitting it with one of her friends (would be an awesome revenge but I'm still not the type of guy to do that) although I admit she has a very cute friend, or there are a few alternative girls I've been talking with for a while. I always like to keep alternatives, I never trusted women (yeah, that DOES include women in my family too, haha) to stick around for too long, especially at this age (23). But I wish someone would.
When I make some money, I intend to travel to the West Coast to get my masters degree. Buy a convertible, enjoy two more years of college I was never able to enjoy before. I should definitely do this before getting married.
I still don't use Facebook, Twitter or Instagram. When I used to, I used to find and meet many girls using these. Maybe I should get back on social media - but I plan to when I have the physique of an athlete! I'm using the "returning to social media" excuse as a tool for motivation.