DAY 30 - WITHIN WEEK 5 (UPDATES) - As I previously mentioned, I'm now staying at another hotel close to Taksim Square, the city center of Istanbul. After getting into an argument with the first hotel (which had the great advantage of being right next to the hospital, so Dr. Inan frequently visited me there in my room) regarding bringing in food, I found out that there's a general regulation in Turkey that prevents hotels from allowing visitors bringing in food. Now you can
sneak it in, of course, and no one cares. But if you insisted to have a daily diet meal sent to you each morning and handed over to the person working at the lobby each morning, apparently it's stretching it a bit too far. Luckily, the second hotel I'm in right now has much better service - the way they treat people is very professional and kind. It earned some kind of an international hospitality award recently. Here are some photos from my "disabled room";
- I love the physiotherapist, but hate the physio sessions. We really started to stretch and push my hamstrings very far, and it hurts. I mean it HURTS. I'm still lengthening at 1,4 mm daily, and I can surely tell that it's a hell of a different than lengthening at 1 mm per day. My quadriceps feel stiffer, yet the worst part of the lengthening so far is LOWER LEFT BACK PAIN. I'm writing this in capital letters to stop you from underestimating it. I can't sleep at night, so I sleep during changing hours within the day. I try watching a movie or reading but nothing takes my mind away from my back pain. Actually, I have a history of back pain, so it isn't anything new in my book - it's chronic, it comes and goes, only to visit again soon. You can take five different painkillers and five different sleeping pills, and it wouldn't be sufficient. The only thing that helps is Tramadol. Only Tramadol allows me to go to sleep eventually, I don't want to take a pill every night, but these days I really have to. My physio, a truly great guy, worked with Dr. Paley in Baltimore years ago, there he met Dr. Yasser from Egypt, and a lot of other doctors we discuss -and don't discuss- on these forums, so we talk about them a lot and it's a fun topic. I know a ton about other doctors' personal lives and characters now, for instance. But let's not get into tabloid and get back to the technical issues. Where was I - ah, yes, back pain. So my physio brought a small massage device (see photos above) that gives electric pulses to the local area it's placed on the body, and it makes the pain go away for a while.. and he left the device here, so I get to keep it. It certainly helps, but it doesn't provide a permanent relief. Therefore, tomorrow we'll try another technique:
http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dry_needling- I'm approximately at
3 cm at the moment. Sometimes at night, when I'm unable to sleep, I do feel down. I'm not feeling depressed, that would be exaggerating - I'm okay. But I sometimes question why I did this to myself, and I hope it'll all be worth it in the end. I cannot tell at the moment, as I'm not standing up in a crowd, not yet. I'll have my answer when I go out for the first time with my old friends, when I go out at night, hopefully at 173 cm ( 5'8 ) I'll feel that all the time and pain was worth it. I respect every individual's personal decision and to each his own, but when I read about guys who are 175 cm ( 5'9) and above who want to do LL, I just can't believe it. I would never even consider doing this to myself at that (arguably, average in most of the world) height. Now I truly understand why some LL patients feel content with themselves when they've lengthened less than their goal, and call quits earlier than they planned. It's because we're not lengthening our bones for adding height solely as "a number", this is something that we do to "feel better about our body image". The amount required to "feel better" isn't always a minimum amount of centimeters or inches. It's the pain, the effort, all the labor you put in to doing this. You feel as if you've completed something you've always waited for, and that feeling of "leaving it behind", THAT is why people stop visiting forums after a while - they don't worry over it or think about it anymore.
- Which, in this case, another problem occurs. I'll be honest. The sector I want to work in is ALL about body image. So being tall -although an advantage- isn't sufficient by itself. I feel that being immobile for a long time (and being unable to follow my diet regimen due to hotel regulations) has made me gain weight. Frankly, this is making me very unhappy at the moment. I will lose it after LL, however, I don't enjoy losing precious time for correcting past mistakes. I did LL to feel happy when I look into the mirror.. And I don't like what I see at the moment. Consequently, the rather classical question enters the thought stream immediately - "Why on earth did I do this to myself?"
- Will be moving back home on Feb 23rd. Should be a nice change, I'll be able to diet and cut some fat again. Thank God I have the opportunity of avoiding to be in a single place for a very long time - which inevitably, leads to depression after passing a certain time threshold.
- My tibiae feel numb. Weird. I'm not even lengthening you, guys.. It's none of your business.. What's your problem? Lol.