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[Lenor12]

Hey guys, just wondered how you dealt with telling other people (e.g. parents, boyfriend/girlfriend) about your surgery?

I've slipped it into conversations in the past and everyone I've mentioned it to think it sounds absolutely nuts - which it kinda does. So i'm not sure how to break it (  ) to my boyfriend that i want to go off to Russia to be made taller.

Also i wondered if there's any other girls around here wanting to do limb lengthening?

Lenor

[GROWtalORdieTRYING1]

I think the best way to break it to people in your family, is to tell them 1 by one, and have them know that you don't want them to talk about it with anyone.

if they are curious, have them read the china FAQ. and tell them that it is as safe as a boob job.

but as for telling friends.......... that's a tough 1.

I believe it is important for family to know if your travelling to another country as it would be very demoralizing running to another country hiding it and pretending like nothing happened, most people who do this end up being to scared to come back until they are 100% healed(due to the worry about family noticing that they cant walk properly). I personally think this is to much emotional stress to go through. and that is why I believe family should know. but the question is can your family be trusted to keep it a secret. if they cant then it might be best not to tell them at all.

what does everyone else think about telling friends? should you even tell friends? could you handle the outcome if your friends told other people? friends are here today gone tomorrow. when people stop being your friend you can bet they will tell others.

I have told 1 friend and I don't plan on telling anyone else. apart from that family know. and even then not all family.

[GROWtalORdieTRYING1]

164cm for a girl is a good height. I don't think you really need it to be honest. but it is your decision.

LL is really only important for guys or if the girl is 5 foot or under.

[Lenor12]

To be quite honest I wouldn't bother telling friends anyway but will tell my parents and boyfriend. It is something people will judge you for but in the same breath, why should you really care if its something you really want and will make you feel better?

I agree 164 is alright for a female but its more on the "cute" petite side - I get called small all the time here in scandinavia! plus i'm going to be working in a male-dominant environment in 5 years time so i want to be taken seriously.

What's your current height and goal height? where will you have surgery?

Lenor

[GROWtalORdieTRYING1]

I am 171cm, I plan to do 6cm tibia, and 6cm femur.

I believe that is the safe limit. any further and it would be too much risk.

[Uppland]

Plenty of scandinavians on this forum.

[GROWtalORdieTRYING1]

Plenty of scandinavians on this forum

LOL I saw what you did there.

[Greek-Semidget]

To be quite honest I wouldn't bother telling friends anyway but will tell my parents and boyfriend. It is something people will judge you for but in the same breath, why should you really care if its something you really want and will make you feel better?

I agree 164 is alright for a female but its more on the "cute" petite side - I get called small all the time here in scandinavia! plus i'm going to be working in a male-dominant environment in 5 years time so i want to be taken seriously.

What's your current height and goal height? where will you have surgery?

Lenor

Why don't you just wear heels?

[Lenor12]

Why don't you just wear heels?

I wear heels a lot but they kill my feet something fierce.

It would be great to wear flats and not feel self conscious!

[Uppland]

It's your choise of course but even I must say I don't think you should do the surgery. You're maybe 5 cm below average and seriously you will never be as tall as the men. The good news is that there is no stigma in being short when you're female although there are female norms that will be expected of you even in northern europe. You will not easily command respect like the men unfortunately but that's not because you are short.

In fact tall women face a sort of discrimination because they don't fit in the female gender role. Your height will mostly work for you I think.

[Disobedient]

Don't tell anyone if you think you can go through this journey by yourself ..
for me I didn't tell anyone, 6 months after the surgery I had to tell my sister because I was in some troubles , and I wish if I didn't she couldn't keep her mouth shut so she told my whole family..
and women talk you know ,so by the time you'll be back to your home everyone will know about it, and they will keep asking you these stupid questions
so just DON'T TELL ANYONE

[Lenor12]

It's your choise of course but even I must say I don't think you should do the surgery. You're maybe 5 cm below average and seriously you will never be as tall as the men. The good news is that there is no stigma in being short when you're female although there are female norms that will be expected of you even in northern europe. You will not easily command respect like the men unfortunately but that's not because you are short.

In fact tall women face a sort of discrimination because they don't fit in the female gender role. Your height will mostly work for you I think.

Oh I don't want to be extremely tall... or to even look all masculine and butch!  172 - 174 would be perfect. My partner is almost 30cm taller than me too!!

Thanks for the replies guys.

[Lenor12]

Don't tell anyone if you think you can go through this journey by yourself ..
for me I didn't tell anyone, 6 months after the surgery I had to tell my sister because I was in some troubles , and I wish if I didn't she couldn't keep her mouth shut so she told my whole family..
and women talk you know ,so by the time you'll be back to your home everyone will know about it, and they will keep asking you these stupid questions
so just DON'T TELL ANYONE

How did you keep it so quiet though? Did nobody ask you or see you in those 6 months?

[Disobedient]

How did you keep it so quiet though? Did nobody ask you or see you in those 6 months?

my family thought I went to Europe, and I was contacting them through email, so they had no clue about me being in India for LL..

[Impromptu]

You'll be surprised that many of your friends whom you tell about this surgery actually think you're lying or pulling a prank on them. There were close friends that didn't believe me until I showed them x-rays.

[Kafka]

From what I've read in the forums and the web I also think a moderate gain of e.g. 6cm actually is not too evident for former friends, relatives etc. ... (although I am sure that subconsciously it is and thus 6cm are absolutely worth it)

Actually the potential following reaction of my environment to LL and missing social acceptance are the things which still hold me back a bit. E.g. I try to imagine how my future wife will react and what she will think about me if I tell her about me having done LL ...

[afonso]

I told my close friends and family.   The way I see it if I can't convincingly articulate why my LL makes sense for me then maybe I shouldn't have don't it.  In the end they might disagree but they will understand. Furthermore it's not realistic to think you can hide 8cms from all the people that really know you.

[Impromptu]

A bit off topic but consider the case where close friends whom you know prior to LL didn't notice your height gain. Won't that be disappointing? it's really a tricky balance, it's like we want the height gain to be noticed, yet we don't want it to be noticed.

I haven't reached that stage yet but I'll be surely pretty disappointed and might feel the urge to tell people just to make them notice it. 

[Dynamo]

I just undertook the surgery ten days back and kept it quiet from most people. But like the phrase goes it all comes out in the wash and so virtually everyone knows about it now. I was embarrassed and every person I told said I was mental for carrying out the treatment, however I knew that I wanted it. I flew to my home country after the surgery which I believe was the right move, its just difficult living a lie.

Once I got back I got the same comments by everyone who had found out about the lengthening after I returned. A surgeon in my local hospital even stated that I should visit a psychologist to get over the problem. This just confounded my original opinion that very few people understand why somebody would carry out this surgery, especially in the UK where it only available or specific medical conditions and not for cosmetic reasons.

The other person who undertook the treatment at the same time as myself was a 163-4cm female who told nobody at all about undertaking the surgery. I understood her position and reasons or this. I think it is sad that so many people simply don't understand leg lengthening and so just criticise.

[GROWtalORdieTRYING1]

(Dynamo) no offence but that was a dumb move.


you have 4 choices.

1 you tell family In advance and get them all on your side over a period of time, and yes it does take a little bit of time but they always come around. the reason is because people are in denial about discriminating against people based on height. and it takes time for them to admit they do this. admitting is the first step for the non LL.

2 you don't tell family or friends till you come back and are completely recovered, they will usually just accept it without criticism as the process is already over and they can see you are healthy and taller. and being taller they will subconsciously recognize your advantage when considering their view point.

3 you could choose not to tell anyone.


and 4 is the most stupid of all and what you did. you broke your dam legs and then rocked up on your families door step as a cripple with no time no warning and them not prepared. no offence but that is completely stupid. you didn't really think this through did you.

[GROWtalORdieTRYING1]

you either tell your family:

 before surgery is even started, after surgery is complete,or never tell them.

but you never tell them during surgery. that is a recipe for disaster, especially if your lengthening back home.


and if for some reason you have to tell them during surgery that is fine if you need family support. but you never just plan to fly back home crippled and spring it on them. very immature decision.

can I ask you why you choose this method? and not the other 3 options?

[Moubgf]

The reaction from people is completely normal especially when considering that leg lengthening is one of the most extreme forms of cosmetic surgery and involves the healthy patient to be debilitated for months. Only people with height neurosis will understand the reason to get LL. Justifying the reason for LL to a normal person is useless and you will be criticised. It is very likely that people will talk behind our backs and label us as "fake". This is the reason why I have not told anyone except my immediate family and I have instructed them to not let any outsiders know about my LL. The best thing is to act normal post LL and if people do notice and comment that look taller, just let them know that they have shrunk. There is no reason to let everyone know about that you have done LL. Remember that people you think are trustworthy can actually end up using the knowledge that you did LL against you!

By all means keep it that way the fewer people who knows and actually does this surgery the better it is. Or would you like for all the average dudes out there to do this surgery leaving you shorter once again. If this gets the exposure boob jobs gets. We are back at square one or atleast it diminiishes the actuall height benefit we get. so Stfu about this surgery and go along with your life. Theres worse things to bother about than a guy who broke his legs and was bed-ridden for 5 months.

but thats just me...