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Author Topic: Gonna hand in my English lesson homework. Guys can you evaluate my essay?  (Read 615 times)

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HateLAPELoveSTEM

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Our boring college arranges for a boring curriculum for our further studies and unintelligenbly it includes one lesson called public English practice, where at the end of our seminar, we gotta write an essay that summarizes the contents of three works of literature and make conclusions in the last paragraph as our final homework and we gotta hand in the homework before 26, Nov.
So I wanna hear some evaluations about my essay so I can know the score.

Live a life that fits best with yourself.

  As our modern society evolves, many of people are losing their ways about how to live, where to live, and what to live for, bombarded with a mess of philosophies taught by others. On google, youtube, facebook, d, and similar social online platforms, there will be no lack of informations but encouragements, methodologies and introductions about human’s life. But when you chill out to check out if they are eventually beneficial to your life, maybe you will be poured by a backet of cold water, because in fact, all that you are being taught online are not doing many goods to you at last! Why since we can witness some celebrities’, businessmen’s, professors’, and enterprenuers’ actual stories of success, their stories are still not duplicatable to us? The root cause of they being not beneficial to us is not that their story are fabricated (although some of stories are likely to have been exaggerated and fabricated), but that everyone is supposed to live a life fitting best with him or her, and it’s not rational to duplicate others’ lives.

  In the first work of literature, either the frogs or those two mouse, were telling a story that they failed in turning themselves into ones they were dying for being and were giving a lesson by the realities. For the former, frog is a totally different species from ox and the behaviour that the frog was having attempt to bulge his belly as the same size as the ox’s was beyond stupidities to us readers. For the latter, although the Country Mouse was indeed living a rich life, full of fine foods and drinkings with a cosy habitation, the Town Mouse still  ted in his pants after experiencing what life the Country Mouse was living and in a hurry changed his mind to live his own life.

  In the second work of literature, Cinderlla was actually uniquely beautiful but as a consequence of her poor attire and inferior status, until did she make her up with fine attire and drove a luxurious carriage into the palace, no one can recognize her beauty and charm, inducing her three harsh sisters’ worships. Seeing from this good ending, we cannot deny Cinderlla’s unduplicatable beauty which others can do nothing but begrudge. Under the hands of her godmother, finally she lived a handsome life that fits best with herself, and got rid of bad reputations obliging her to be slurred as ‘Cinderwench’.


  More obviously and absolutely, in the third work of literature, Bisclavret was a werewolf as a matter of fact and he camouflaged himself as a human being until he was captured by a king from a kingdom, where he was empowered to reign over as a king when the story was put into the end. Clearly, now that Bisclavret was a werewolf instead of a human being, it was for sure not a good move to partner with a human as his spouse, who in his shoes wouldn’t embrace his actual identity although luckily, the king, as a human being, embraced and even fell in love with Bisclavret. So as we can see, Bisclavret happened to live a life that fitted best with himself and achieved a sovereignty that he deserved.

  To recap, three works of literature are just three embodiments of philosophies about what life can fit best with yourself and why we are supposed to live such lives. In my shoes, I am not convinced that online or offline materials are the best invention that is coaching us how to do this or that, instead, just because many people are immersed in them, they are not active in digging out what lives they should live. Therefore, we should opt for placing ourselves into the lives verified that can fit best with ourselves by trial and error instead of simply by Internet, books, some old men’s introductions and similar materials. A Chinese poet named Chenghua Nie put it best:Everyone is living his or her own life, and everyone has rights to live a unique life. Why not adopt this good statement as our philosophies of life? 
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Medium Drink Of Water

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Re: Gonna hand in my English lesson homework. Guys can you evaluate my essay?
« Reply #1 on: November 19, 2021, 05:38:06 PM »

 As our modern society evolves, many of people are being bombarded with a mess of philosophies taught by others, losing questioning their ways about how to live way of life, where to they should live, and what to they should live for. On Google, YouTube, Facebook, Discord, and similar social online platforms, there will be is no lack of informations

Quote
but encouragements, methodologies and introductions about human’s life.

I don't undestand this sentence.  When you use the word "but" it means the words before the but and the words after the but contrast with each other.

For example: I want LL with Paley but I don't have enough money. The contrast is between what you want and what you can afford in the context of LL doctors.

How does "no lack of information", which means plenty of information, contrast with there being plenty of "encouragements, methodologies and introductions about human’s life"?  Or was a contrast unintended here?
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Medium Drink Of Water

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Re: Gonna hand in my English lesson homework. Guys can you evaluate my essay?
« Reply #2 on: November 19, 2021, 05:59:35 PM »

Why since We can witness some hear celebrities’, businessmen’s, professors’, and enterprenuers’ actual stories of success success stories, their stories are still not duplicatable to us? but why can't we duplicate them? The root cause of they their being not not being beneficial to us is not that their storyies are fabricated (although some of stories are likely to have been exaggerated and fabricated), but that everyone is supposed to live a the life fitting that fits best with for him or her, and. It’s not rational to try to duplicate others’ lives someone else's life.
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Medium Drink Of Water

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Re: Gonna hand in my English lesson homework. Guys can you evaluate my essay?
« Reply #3 on: November 19, 2021, 06:23:50 PM »

In the first work of literature write its name here, either the frogs or and those the two mouse mice, were telling told a story stories that about how they failed in turning themselves into the ones they were dying for being to be and were giving given a lesson by the realities reality.

Quote
For the former, frogs, is they're a totally different species from the ox, and the behaviour that when the

Did both frogs try to bulge their bellies, or did just one do it?  This sentence will end differently depending on that.


For the latter, mice, although the Country Mouse was indeed living a rich life, full of fine foods and drinkings and with a cosy cozy habitation, the Town Mouse still  ted in his pants was horrified after experiencing what life how the Country Mouse was living and in a hurry quickly changed his mind to live about living his own previous life.
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HateLAPELoveSTEM

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Re: Gonna hand in my English lesson homework. Guys can you evaluate my essay?
« Reply #4 on: November 20, 2021, 04:09:22 AM »

Why since We can witness some hear celebrities’, businessmen’s, professors’, and enterprenuers’ actual stories of success success stories, their stories are still not duplicatable to us? but why can't we duplicate them? The root cause of they their being not not being beneficial to us is not that their storyies are fabricated (although some of stories are likely to have been exaggerated and fabricated), but that everyone is supposed to live a the life fitting that fits best with for him or her, and. It’s not rational to try to duplicate others’ lives someone else's life.
Thx a lot. But you can't proofread the three paragraphs relevant to those three works of literature cuz they were stuffs on book and it's very difficult to elaborate the contents and ideas of these works. But your evaluations did make a lot of senses although  I have handed in my homework this morning and I didn't check out your replies sorry LOL. I guess it's not a right place to seek for evaluations cuz my homework is a little complicated and only after you read those three works of literature, you can grasp what I'm talking about in those three paragraphs.
But very very thank you and I don't think my essay will get a bad grade. I myself will evaluate my essay as B.
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HateLAPELoveSTEM

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Re: Gonna hand in my English lesson homework. Guys can you evaluate my essay?
« Reply #5 on: November 20, 2021, 04:27:19 AM »

As our modern society evolves, many of people are being bombarded with a mess of philosophies taught by others, losing questioning their ways about how to live way of life, where to they should live, and what to they should live for. On Google, YouTube, Facebook, Discord, and similar social online platforms, there will be is no lack of informations

I don't undestand this sentence.  When you use the word "but" it means the words before the but and the words after the but contrast with each other.

For example: I want LL with Paley but I don't have enough money. The contrast is between what you want and what you can afford in the context of LL doctors.

How does "no lack of information", which means plenty of information, contrast with there being plenty of "encouragements, methodologies and introductions about human’s life"?  Or was a contrast unintended here?
Cuz there is an idiomatic expression 'there is nothing but ....' and I guess I can make a fixable use of it like 'there is no ... but ...', in order to express 'it's very common to see ...'.
But seeing from your evaluations, this kind of fixable usage is totally self-assertive but not grammatical.
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Re: Gonna hand in my English lesson homework. Guys can you evaluate my essay?
« Reply #6 on: November 20, 2021, 04:11:10 PM »

There are multiple issues with the word choice in that sentence.

If you say "there is nothing but x, y, and z" it means x, y, and z are the only things there (or informally, so much of x, y, and z there that everything else there seems insignificant).  Nothing vs. x, y, and z is the contrast that goes with the but.  If you go to a bad LL hospital you might say "theres nothing but ckroaches, mold, and dirt everywhere".

If you say "there is no x but y and z." what you are saying is the absence of x vs. the presence of y and z" is the contrast.  It might be appropriate to say "there aren't any ckroaches, but there is a lot of mold and dirt.".

If you say "there is no lack of x but y and z" you're saying that x is present and y and z are also present.  There's nothing really wrong with that.  If you change the and to but, you need to show a contrast between x vs. y and z.  For example, "There's no lack of medical attention, but there is dirt and mold there."  How is "information" different from "encouragements, methodologies, and introductions" in that sentence?  I don't see a contrast here as a reader, but your word choice indicates that there is a contrast.
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HateLAPELoveSTEM

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Re: Gonna hand in my English lesson homework. Guys can you evaluate my essay?
« Reply #7 on: November 21, 2021, 12:41:36 PM »

There are multiple issues with the word choice in that sentence.

If you say "there is nothing but x, y, and z" it means x, y, and z are the only things there (or informally, so much of x, y, and z there that everything else there seems insignificant).  Nothing vs. x, y, and z is the contrast that goes with the but.  If you go to a bad LL hospital you might say "theres nothing but ckroaches, mold, and dirt everywhere".

If you say "there is no x but y and z." what you are saying is the absence of x vs. the presence of y and z" is the contrast.  It might be appropriate to say "there aren't any ckroaches, but there is a lot of mold and dirt.".

If you say "there is no lack of x but y and z" you're saying that x is present and y and z are also present.  There's nothing really wrong with that.  If you change the and to but, you need to show a contrast between x vs. y and z.  For example, "There's no lack of medical attention, but there is dirt and mold there."  How is "information" different from "encouragements, methodologies, and introductions" in that sentence?  I don't see a contrast here as a reader, but your word choice indicates that there is a contrast.
Yeah I got it. Thx for your helps, and they really did make a lot of senses.
I dunno if you have finished the rest of my essay, I think my essay is not bad and I dunno if I can get a 'B' for my essay.
My English teacher comes from Los Angeles and she is kinda aged but still elegant LOL.
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Medium Drink Of Water

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Re: Gonna hand in my English lesson homework. Guys can you evaluate my essay?
« Reply #8 on: November 21, 2021, 03:01:58 PM »

Want me to finish the rest of it?  I stopped working on it when you said you handed it in already.
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