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[RB]

Hey guys,

It's been a while since I posted here. I was planning on undergoing stryde on femurs with Dr Giotikas in sept of last year, however due to personal circumstances, I put my LL plans on hold.

In July of last year I made things official with a girl I was seeing and have been in a great relationship with her ever since. I am 5'4 and she is roughly about 5'3 by my estimation but we almost look the same height. She is a great girl and I certainly can see the potential for a long-term future with her, however this poses some problems. I tried my best to put LL out of mind and I didn't visit the forum for about 6 months or so. But I have come to accept that I will always think about height. In every situation I am still subconsciously comparing my height to everyone and it's still constantly on my mind. I have just started a great new job (I work in sales) with a great global company and better pay. I have also started a side hustle start up with one of my former colleagues and things are looking promising as we have already attracted the interest of several investors. I have a great girl, a great job and a great outlook for the future, however I can't seem to shake the dissatisfaction I have with my height and I wish I could change it. I feel that the surgery would help me, given that I have lots of other great things going on in my life, yet my lack of height is a huge mental issue for me, like many on this board.

This proves to me that this surgery was never really about women for me, it is about feeling better about myself and feeling normal in social situations. I need advice from you guys:

1) Should I go through with it? I have accepted that height will always be on my mind but I am also worried about the risks of the surgery and subsequent decline in athleticism - I train consistently in BJJ. My goal would also be 7cm on femurs to reach 170cm.

2) How on earth do I tell my girlfriend about this if I decide to go through with it? Any suggestions or experience from people dealing with this situation would be highly appreciated.

3) What is a realistic time frame to get the surgery done with Dr Giotikas?- I am thinking 2/3 years ahead. I am currently 26 years old.

Would really appreciate any advice on what I should do as I feel so anxious all over again. Thanks guys

[ghkid2019]

You'd probably have to give up bjj for like 4 years.

Be honest. You can control her reaction either. If my wife told me she wanted a jaw shaving to get better facial bones I would be angry. She will probably not support you.

Timeframe? You can get LL anytime with the exception of when covid banned elective surgeries in many countries, which is now lifted. What do you mean?

[RB]

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[RB]

You'd probably have to give up bjj for like 4 years.

Be honest. You can control her reaction either. If my wife told me she wanted a jaw shaving to get better facial bones I would be angry. She will probably not support you.

Timeframe? You can get LL anytime with the exception of when covid banned elective surgeries in many countries, which is now lifted. What do you mean?

Yeah I figure I would have to give BJJ up for a while, at least until it felt comfortable to train again.

There's a chance she won't support me, of course, however she has made comments before where she has hinted she wished I was a bit taller. If I deliver the desire to get the surgery in a way where I demonstrate how much of an affect my height has on me and how it will make me taller, then I feel she may support me but then again I am unsure how she will react given how drastic it is.

I mean more so what is a good time frame given I am 26 now. I am happy to wait 2-3 years to save up more money, build my business etc but I have a desire to get it over and done with and be taller sooner. Since I have a loan saved for part of this, money would be the least of my issues. It would be more of an issue in these other areas.

[TheAlchemist]

1) Competitive sports like BJJ will be one of the sacrifices you will have to make with CLL. Expect to be out of the game for 2 to 4 years at least, and even then, after that theres a good chance you won't be as competitive as you were pre LL. Your body mechanics are changing drastically. Based on your timeline, by the time you recover from all of this you will be in your early 30's and at that age we all start to decline physically in competitive sports. Suggest you reflect deeply on how important height is to you vs. how important BJJ is for you at this stage of your life. Deeply personal answer that only you in your heart knows.

2) For your GF, I always live by the rule that we should all put ourselves first, before anyone else. People we date should compliment our lives, not define them. If height dysphoria is impacting the quality of your life and holding you back from getting what you want out of life you should be direct with her about your height dysphoria and your desire to resolve it. If she loves you she'll eventually come around and be supportive. If not, move on, you are young and your sexual market value and confidence will improve post LL.

3) Getting LL in your late 20's is a great timeline. I did it in my mid 30's and it was worth every penny and completely changed my life. It's impact would have been even greater if I did it earlier.

[Futureller]

I would make BJJ out of the question for a long long time.  It takes a while to get to some geavy stuff like that and you might bot be able to get to it at all.  Its a sacrifice brother
  Gotta be okay with the worst case scenarios.

With your girl, all girls wish their men were taller if they are on the short or average side of the spectrum, so of course she'll like you more.  Only issue I really see with you two is your seks life being nonexistent for a few months since you will be disabled for a while.

I would put yourself first man.  Things could go south wish your girl and then you'll be old short and single...doesn't sound too good does it?  And be ol with the fact you might not go back to fighting.  Personally I dont care if I can go back to heavy lifting in the weightroom.  Also my job is verh physical so Im going to be out for a while, and who knows might not be able to go back at all.  But at least I'm going to be considered tall after my surgery instead of short so to me imo its worth it.  I believe doing whatever you gotta do to feel comfortable in your own skin.  Don't listen to people that say it's in your head or to just be extra confident, short people do get judged for it. If you don't care more power to do, but if you do and you'll willing to takes the risks then go for it.

[10cmOnTibiaOrGTFO]

who knows. maybe that girl is the one? maybe shes not.
for most women its a huge turnoff when men arent confident in
themselves. so hard to tell how she will react to it.

see if ure not sure about doing LL then dont do it.
u need to be mentally strong when doing LL. its not
a small plastic nose surgery. this is a huge thing and will
take months to recover from and months of pain and walking
in crutches, being unable to walk, jog, lift. unable to work for a
couple months which usally means ull get fired.

[Arcon]

Have you considered seeing a psychologist to help you overcome your height dysphoria?

[RB]

1) Competitive sports like BJJ will be one of the sacrifices you will have to make with CLL. Expect to be out of the game for 2 to 4 years at least, and even then, after that theres a good chance you won't be as competitive as you were pre LL. Your body mechanics are changing drastically. Based on your timeline, by the time you recover from all of this you will be in your early 30's and at that age we all start to decline physically in competitive sports. Suggest you reflect deeply on how important height is to you vs. how important BJJ is for you at this stage of your life. Deeply personal answer that only you in your heart knows.

2) For your GF, I always live by the rule that we should all put ourselves first, before anyone else. People we date should compliment our lives, not define them. If height dysphoria is impacting the quality of your life and holding you back from getting what you want out of life you should be direct with her about your height dysphoria and your desire to resolve it. If she loves you she'll eventually come around and be supportive. If not, move on, you are young and your sxxual market value and confidence will improve post LL.

3) Getting LL in your late 20's is a great timeline. I did it in my mid 30's and it was worth every penny and completely changed my life. It's impact would have been even greater if I did it earlier.

who knows. maybe that girl is the one? maybe shes not.
for most women its a huge turnoff when men arent confident in
themselves. so hard to tell how she will react to it.

see if ure not sure about doing LL then dont do it.
u need to be mentally strong when doing LL. its not
a small plastic nose surgery. this is a huge thing and will
take months to recover from and months of pain and walking
in crutches, being unable to walk, jog, lift. unable to work for a
couple months which usally means ull get fired.

I would make BJJ out of the question for a long long time.  It takes a while to get to some geavy stuff like that and you might bot be able to get to it at all.  Its a sacrifice brother
  Gotta be okay with the worst case scenarios.

With your girl, all girls wish their men were taller if they are on the short or average side of the spectrum, so of course she'll like you more.  Only issue I really see with you two is your seks life being nonexistent for a few months since you will be disabled for a while.

I would put yourself first man.  Things could go south wish your girl and then you'll be old short and single...doesn't sound too good does it?  And be ol with the fact you might not go back to fighting.  Personally I dont care if I can go back to heavy lifting in the weightroom.  Also my job is verh physical so Im going to be out for a while, and who knows might not be able to go back at all.  But at least I'm going to be considered tall after my surgery instead of short so to me imo its worth it.  I believe doing whatever you gotta do to feel comfortable in your own skin.  Don't listen to people that say it's in your head or to just be extra confident, short people do get judged for it. If you don't care more power to do, but if you do and you'll willing to takes the risks then go for it.

All great advice that I appreciate. I am heavily leaning towards going ahead with the surgery with a goal to do it by 28 years old - with the absoloute latest being 30. I think if there was a way I could complete part of the lengthening here in Australia rather than all 3 months in Athens, that would make it easier to convince my gf.

I have sent an email to Dr Giotikas asking if part of the lengthening can be done back home and am awaiting a response. I doubt this will be possible but it would make things drastically easier.

Have you considered seeing a psychologist to help you overcome your height dysphoria?

I have and it really didn't address the core of my height dysphoria, which I believe won't go away unless I am taller unfortunately. The fact that my gf is also similar in height also serves as a constant reminder of my desire to be taller.