Hi guys,
I've been thinking alot about why i want to do this surgery recently, is it just vanity? Will I feel exactly the same inside after the surgery?
My conclusion is that my height has led to the development of a borderline personality, so much so that I don't recognize the bitter, angry, lonely, jealous man that I have matured into. When I was younger and of average height, I was such a happy confident, social kid, but the massive height spurts I suffered in puberty meant that within a year I was a social outcast at a skinny 6'7 @ 15 y/o.
Over the years I really hardened up (to deal with the bullying), bulked up and learned to become very efficient at being by myself, at overcoming the awkwardness of a >1 foot height difference with the opposite sex. But there have been costs,
big costs.
That is that height dysphoria "small man complex" (or in my case "giant complex")
rots you from the inside. I'm sure many of you can identify with this trauma. That constant pain picking away at you everyday,that social isolation never lets the wounds heal that for many of us started to open in school.
Why am I gonna do this? Despite the pain, the money, the risks, the scars, the time?
Because I can't live like this anymore. Because I
have made terrible decisions with my life and career all down to a single changeable insecurity. I went aggressively into a investment banking career just because I thought my height meant that a woman would never look at unless i had cash. Now I have cash, I realise that this thinking was flawed, woman just want a guy with mid to above average looks at ease with himself.... that is a form of
true wealth.
All I want and all any of us should aspire to is just simply the feeling of being with others and not being at all conscious of our heights. The feeling of blending in. It may sound like nothing, but we know that it is the most prized thing in the world if you don't have it.
So I guess the point is that after the surgery, I'm not expecting miracles.. just gonna take some time to take it easy and let those wounds heal for good. I suggest you do the same.
How will I do this? Your thought would be appreciated. I was thinking of just spending time with new people, just enjoying the company of social people again. Hosting dinner parties etc.
Your thoughts brothers
M