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Author Topic: How to cope with girls' consistently questioning my height?  (Read 993 times)

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HateLAPELoveSTEM

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How to cope with girls' consistently questioning my height?
« on: February 17, 2022, 07:59:15 PM »

  Head-up: I am not an incel so don't think of me as an incel who is interested in cracking short men up. Just throw this question here to ask for some answers.
  About 1 week ago I joined a Depression group where a clutch of Depression patients gather there sharing their life events, depressive thoughts, updating photos of their pets by texting or group-voicing to mitigate their Depressions. By accident I ran into a girl who was also the starter of our chats where we had known a lot of informations about each other and I can detect she is indistinctly faling in love with me cuz my voice and personalities are very similar to her deskmate during her junior school life so maybe that is the reason why she crushed on me so easily, also totally out of my expectations.
  TBH I am not interested in her at all and I wanna get rid of her but I am always trying to be nice so I don't think it is a good move to unfriend her straightforwards, instead I am just indulging her a series of sorta annoying texts.
  Alright the prequel of story is sketchily all that I write above but what made me fly into a rage was that she harshed to inquire how exactly tall I am! And I don't dare tell her my exact height and she told me that that was alright and her ex was only around 165cm(in light of how crazily obsessed with heights China's Genzs are, I think his real height is the same as mine, 162cm at night barefoot) after I told her I was suffering from Depression cuz I am so short(but fortunately I am feeling far better rn so everybody no need to worry about my Depression thx :)). The final answer I gave to her was 'I am nearly your ex's height' and it's lucky for me not to be devastated for one more time cuz of my height.
  But here is a question worthy of being raised here: How to deal with girls' questions about your height? Refuse to answer? Just inflate your height as much as possible? Or tell them straightforwards that you are short and you are only 160+cm?
  Hope I can achieve some excellent answers here :)
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c

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Re: How to cope with girls' consistently questioning my height?
« Reply #1 on: February 17, 2022, 09:05:24 PM »

早点做吧,我能理解,我170都想着重生,你比我更痛苦,做完手术一切就会改变
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zaozari

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Re: How to cope with girls' consistently questioning my height?
« Reply #2 on: February 17, 2022, 09:08:27 PM »

Remain positive, don't show in your face any negative signal. Then: if she's a nice person reply with a question: " does it really matter ? ". If  you don't care about her, she's not gentle or shouldn't even have asked, reply with another answer: " I really don't know. How fat are you?" . Always keep smiling and try to lead the conversation afterwards, maybe with an innocent joke or (better) improvise about something related to the context you're all in.
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HateLAPELoveSTEM

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Re: How to cope with girls' consistently questioning my height?
« Reply #3 on: February 17, 2022, 09:28:42 PM »

早点做吧,我能理解,我170都想着重生,你比我更痛苦,做完手术一切就会改变
170只是个低于平均身高2-3cm的身高(全国而言),想着重生干嘛?
170 is just under China's average height by 2-3cm, why you are contemplating on kiling urself?
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Medium Drink Of Water

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Re: How to cope with girls' consistently questioning my height?
« Reply #4 on: February 17, 2022, 09:32:13 PM »

Tell the truth to anyone who asks.  She'll instantly know your true height if you ever meet.  And if you never meet, who cares if she knows you're short?
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HateLAPELoveSTEM

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Re: How to cope with girls' consistently questioning my height?
« Reply #5 on: February 17, 2022, 09:37:28 PM »

Remain positive, don't show in your face any negative signal. Then: if she's a nice person reply with a question: " does it really matter ? ". If  you don't care about her, she's not gentle or shouldn't even have asked, reply with another answer: " I really don't know. How fat are you?" . Always keep smiling and try to lead the conversation afterwards, maybe with an innocent joke or (better) improvise about something related to the context you're all in.
Good advice. But sometimes some girls are really that toxic that they wouldn't like to let go of topics about how tall you actually are LOL. So the rest advices about leading the conversations with jokes or stuffs relevant to the context will misfire in some extremises but most of what you say can make a lot of senses thx!
But all the details I mention above are asking for resolutions online but as for offline I think any considerate girl wouldn't inquire my height so bluntly.
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HateLAPELoveSTEM

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Re: How to cope with girls' consistently questioning my height?
« Reply #6 on: February 17, 2022, 09:45:40 PM »

Tell the truth to anyone who asks.  She'll instantly know your true height if you ever meet.  And if you never meet, who cares if she knows you're short?
Just trying to avoid achieving very provocative rude words from some extremely toxic girls LOL.
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Medium Drink Of Water

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Re: How to cope with girls' consistently questioning my height?
« Reply #7 on: February 17, 2022, 10:00:39 PM »

I think it's best to hear that stuff and get used to it.
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HateLAPELoveSTEM

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Re: How to cope with girls' consistently questioning my height?
« Reply #8 on: February 17, 2022, 10:24:05 PM »

I think it's best to hear that stuff and get used to it.
Yeah I am kinda accustomed to it (I think 'callous to' is a better expression).. But I don't wanna have a mental breakdown all of a sudden when I am in a good mood.. That is very devastating and pretty leaving a bad taste on my mouth.
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AimHigh

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Re: How to cope with girls' consistently questioning my height?
« Reply #9 on: February 18, 2022, 12:02:39 AM »

I am now barefoot 179 cm, and almost 180 cm first thing in morning,(and prob 183 cm if i was an astronaut under zero G conditions!! lol), I have no hesitation saying I am 5 11 (180.3 cm), i can't believe anyone but the most height aware Nazi who is almost your exact height could tell any different.
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Exxon

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Re: How to cope with girls' consistently questioning my height?
« Reply #10 on: February 18, 2022, 12:26:12 AM »

Tell them your height without inflation but NEVER EVER show that you are insecure of it or depressed from it, if you do that then game over.
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Medium Drink Of Water

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Re: How to cope with girls' consistently questioning my height?
« Reply #11 on: February 18, 2022, 12:47:59 AM »

I am now barefoot 179 cm, and almost 180 cm first thing in morning,(and prob 183 cm if i was an astronaut under zero G conditions!! lol), I have no hesitation saying I am 5 11 (180.3 cm), i can't believe anyone but the most height aware Nazi who is almost your exact height could tell any different.

This is more of a thread for short people who would be mocked for their height rather than whether a tall person should brag.
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HateLAPELoveSTEM

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Re: How to cope with girls' consistently questioning my height?
« Reply #12 on: February 18, 2022, 02:08:36 AM »

Tell them your height without inflation but NEVER EVER show that you are insecure of it or depressed from it, if you do that then game over.
Why? As opposed to what you said, I think if I pass signals to others about my insecurties or depressions from it they can sympathize what I am experiencing and then probably not gonna poke fun at my height.
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HateLAPELoveSTEM

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Re: How to cope with girls' consistently questioning my height?
« Reply #13 on: February 18, 2022, 02:08:55 AM »

This is more of a thread for short people who would be mocked for their height rather than whether a tall person should brag.
I think he replied to a wrong post LOL.
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AimHigh

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Re: How to cope with girls' consistently questioning my height?
« Reply #14 on: February 18, 2022, 12:44:58 PM »

Sorry if i sounded braggadocios, my point is that I understand and support you if u height fraud within the limits of plasuability - btw even after 8cm CLL I still every day at work wear 6 cm elevator shoes, and it ain't nobodies business but mine.
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ReadRothbard

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Re: How to cope with girls' consistently questioning my height?
« Reply #15 on: February 18, 2022, 10:07:29 PM »

You should add 3-5 cm to your height, but no more.
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“If you're afraid - don't do it, - if you're doing it - don't be afraid!” ― Genghis Khan

172 cm in the morning (67.8"); 170 cm (67”) at night; Sitting Height: 96 cm (37.8”); Goal: 184.5 cm (6'0.7"); Ultimate Goal: 192 cm (6’3.5) morning height, 190 cm (6’3) “night” height
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zaozari

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Re: How to cope with girls' consistently questioning my height?
« Reply #16 on: February 19, 2022, 09:35:32 AM »

Why? As opposed to what you said, I think if I pass signals to others about my insecurties or depressions from it they can sympathize what I am experiencing and then probably not gonna poke fun at my height.
Because all experience and accumulated knowledge in my opinion is that people won't be better for you and much less approach you as a potential boyfriend with that psychological appearance. Because some will sympathyse but as friends....and even among these, most will do it because they will feel pitty for you. You enter a useless spiral of downgrading your selfesteem and more depression. Maybe  you find a shoulder to cry, but that's not the future you want for you, is it (caressed by some but as a teddy bear)? The way out of depression is by using positive tools, not the same negative survival mode in a swamp.
This is a harsh world. You just can't show a tear in your eyes at work for example: all in one you will be in a worse situation and more disrespected by rumours and by the silent action of the sharks that compete all day long to just smash "rivals". It's a pitty but you have to go to the toilet, close yourself and if needed cover your crying with the sound of the flashwater. Of course you need support but you just have to be very SELECTIVE. You may be right that more educated people won't poke fun at your height but those are probably those that have never poked before. And almost everybody, even nice people, sooner or later,  avoid negative, problematic, sad people.
It's a pitty but on this very concrete aspect of the problem you will have to be an actor, even an hypocrite maybe sometimes. But guess what? This double pays: you'll be more respected, or at least less disrespected (ideal would be to pass the idea that you don't give a *hit about your height because you have other assets) and it also pays because it's scientifically proven that when we change our body and mind "display" we also change a bit instantly feelings inside. For example if you raise your head and smile you'll feel instantly a bit more confident. And don't forget for one reason or another that girl got interested in you. Don't thing just right away she's just (another) neurotic (she surely is not psychopatic). Start by respecting herself! Sometimes depression atracts depression but if both people get in positive mode  they can use it as a tool to better understand and support each other and make nice things together, instesd of feeding each other's disease. Maybe they need counselling at the beginning but you should be ready to identify realistic opportunities and not search only for super perfect super models: they are hard to get, and you find out they may also be full of *hit.
So  in synthesis, believe me, I know very well what I'm saying on this, DON'T search sympathy or pitty generally and never on those that poke fun on you. Those are and will always be toxic for you. You have either to avoid them without showing any fear or prepare a list of "missiles" to throw back at them...but always either smiling or kind of not very irritated say something like *uck off and follow your way, tell them to go back doing something useful (either working or out  for example once I asked them if they prefered to look at me than go around see the beautiful girls nearby...."are you gays or what?" (with all due respect for gays, but this is a specific context and we're in "war mode" sometimes).
Seek support in other people. Of course you have to build trust on those but try that same (it's only one week, and there are more people there than her!) or other anonymous groups, old school buddies, a priest if you are religious, an activity that boosts your confidence among positive people, etc.
Train yourself to be tougher and repeat in your mind when in an "urgent episod": this: " I won't let this *ucking people ruin my mind or my day"!
Anyway these are only survival and social tactics. If you are depressed, you need to also assume that, as a first step to get out of it. Only if you find out you're depressed mainly because of your height (and conclude that medication and psychotherapy don't real help) and not that your height may only be contributing to the depression (ie, feeding and hidding other causes), you should think of CLL.
Be pacient, you are very young, and despite that apparent heightism histeria in China, until very recently the average male height (rural and urban, mixed ages) was 167 cm, so your height is not a "tragedy". There is a recent survey that says that urban boys 19 yo are average 175/176 cm tall (same as US, UK, France, Italy, Germany....) but that was a short sample and altough average height is increasing quickly in China due to better feeding and healthcare, I would say this survey may have a touch of propaganda and be biased in some way because average height just don't increase this quickly.
« Last Edit: February 19, 2022, 10:58:08 AM by zaozari »
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zaozari

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Re: How to cope with girls' consistently questioning my height?
« Reply #17 on: February 22, 2022, 12:12:17 PM »


It's not a direct answer but anyway I think this recent topic may be part of the "artillery":

http://www.limblengtheningforum.com/index.php?topic=69358.0
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