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[precice strider]

Today, I entered a depressed state for several hours over my height dysphoria. Two things recently made it much worse: My little brother possibly becoming taller than me (haven't quite had a chance to confirm because I don't want to measure against him) and the knowledge that my growth has slowed and will possibly stop very soon.

I've realized that I can't be in this depressed state all the time, or else I won't be able to make it through college and start saving up for surgery.

This evening, I've been given time to reflect what I have already.

At a night height of 5'4.25", I am already at InFullStryde's goal and post-surgery height. I understand that him and other 5'1" to 5'4" people have wished for my height for a long time and I am grateful that I am as tall as I am already.

When I got my driver's license at almost 16 1/2, I was excited to be able to flash it at anyone who insisted I was younger than I was. I have never had an opportunity to.

This afternoon, when I was at the meat counter at the store, a worker asked me, "How may I help you today?". She saw me as an adult and assumed I was shopping on my own despite my dad being five feet to the right of me.

I understand that other users such as LittleWhiteMan at 5'1" don't have this benefit, and my heart goes out to all those who still get juvenilized (in Dr. Paley's words) even as adults, now that I'm no longer a 4'5" 6th grader.

Over the next five to seven years, I hope to dedicate my life towards getting a job as a mechanical or software engineer. Only then will I start planning my surgery for real. I previously thought of working towards a master's or PhD after college, but I decided against it for now in order to start saving up for surgery.

I'll probably still be around, but I'm likely going to post a bit less. I'm hoping to teach myself to be more accepting of my current height for as long as it takes to save up for surgery.

See you soon,
HobbesTheDog

P.S. My parents no longer have a problem with me wanting surgery. I told both my parents about it when I was 16, and they were skeptical at first.

My mom had a friend's son who got LL for dwarfism a while ago (probably external or LON/LATN) and told me I wouldn't want to do it, and even if I did she didn't think they would do it for "no reason" aka cosmetic. I then showed her Dr. Paley's CLL page.

She told my older brother in college, I knew because before I ever mentioned it to him he already knew the typical gain was 3 inches, and that the doctors I wanted at the time (Mahboubian and Debiparshad) did it for $75,000. My brother later confirmed this.

Although my mom is controlling at home, she is always telling me that when I move out I can do whatever I want even if she doesn't approve of it. She also specifically told me it's fine if I get the surgery if that's what I decide I want to do.

My dad was more empathetic at first, knowing he was the one who passed me the "short" gene. At first he was grossed out, but on my 17th birthday he actually got me to explain the entire procedure with the Stryde and everything. He once even said he would come take care of me when I do it.

[BelowTheMean]

I’ve known about LL since 2013 and have been reading and posting on the old forum and this one for seven years. Over the last seven years I’ve had phases where I really wanted to get LL and I’d check the forum every day or every few days, and other times I didn’t feel like I needed it at all and I wouldn’t check the forum for many months.

Now I’m in my early-mid 30s and at that point where I’m thinking if I don’t get the surgery soon then I’m probably never going to do it. I’ve had “enough money” to get the surgery for years, but the timing has never been right. Also, the more money I have, the smaller the impact of paying for the surgery will be so I haven’t been in a big rush. At this point, spending $80K will push back my retirement date back around 5 months, so I view it as exchanging 5 months of my life for 3 inches in height and I’m okay with that.

I recently scheduled a consult with one of the US docs and if all goes well I’m planning for a surgery date around two months from now.

As someone on the other side of this long wait, my words of advice are to just focus on your education and career. You might not have as much fun in college as a tall guy, but you can still have fun. Your height won’t stop you from getting good grades and getting a good job. People may judge you for your height but the majority won’t notice and if they do they won’t be vocal about it. Learn about investing and financial independence and don’t spend money on things that won’t improve your life over the long run. Before you know it, you’ll have enough money to get CLL.

[..]

You have to understand that there is no such thing as "accepting" your height. What you're talking about is resignation. You don't accept the trait that makes you unhappy, but you resign from it.

At least you are very young and know what you want already.

[precice strider]

Update: I'M STILL GROWING!

When I first started measuring several times a day, I was barely 5'4" at night.

As of now, I appear to be at a strong 5'4" and possibly upwards of 5'4.25" at night. I'm hoping for a full inch but I don't know if that's too much to hope for. That would put me at a strong 5'8" with 8cm.

[ghkid2019]

Update: I'M STILL GROWING!

When I first started measuring several times a day, I was barely 5'4" at night.

Get x-rays of knee
As of now, I appear to be at a strong 5'4" and possibly upwards of 5'4.25" at night. I'm hoping for a full inch but I don't know if that's too much to hope for. That would put me at a strong 5'8" with 8cm.

Get x-rays of knee