It may or may not be hard for some of you to believe but this is my first time ever discussing with others my insecurity about my height. I believe I have been blessed in many parts of life; I have two parents, growing up I never had to stress about money, pretty attractive to most girls, funny and mildly charming, but for the past 8 or so years my happiness has dwindled down and grown smaller like a candle. I had never been a big kid growing up, and it wasnt until about the third grade where at my yearly checkup the doctor noticed that I had not grown for an entire year which is extremely odd for a kid of 9 years old. My mom didnt seem to care, so neither did I. The doctor assured that everything would balance out and that I'd end up around my Dad's height at 5'9. Time went by and now I'm in 6th grade. By this time I was noticeably smaller than all of my classmates. With middle school being 6th-8th grade I was probably one of the smallest boys in the school. I wish I had numbers for you all but I know for a fact I was shorter than my mom at the time who is 5'1, so I would say it's safe to say I was about 4'10-11. This is where I became insecure for the first time in my life, about anything. I constantly tried to eat healthy foods, sleep all 8 hours and would always ask my mom to measure me in hopes of catching up to everyone else. The pain set in rather deep, and I began to have anxiety about the future and what kind of life I would have. 7th grade came and I had a spurt, I had finally began to catch up. At about 12-13 I was standing 5'3 which was pretty average for that age. Puberty had barely set in so things were looking optimal for me at this time. All I ever wanted was to be as tall as my dad, even an inch less. I never once sought out to be tall; I just HATED being short. Going into highschool 9th grade year I was probably about 5'4. growing an inch in two years where growth is supposed to be the most active was terrible. Everyone shot up past me. Fast forward to 20 years old I stand 5'5-5'6. I've tried so many times to to convince myself that it's just a part of life and that everyone has insecurities or even do things that I enjoy to remind myself of all that I have to be grateful for but as of recently those things that have made me happy are starting to fade as I finally face reality. Unless I do something, this is my height. forever. I'm sick of making excuses on why I can't meet with people or go out and do things that I want to because I hate my height. I wear insoles in my shoes to give me an extra inch which doesn't even make me feel good anymore because of how embarrassed I feel when the shoes come off once I go inside. This insecurity has eaten up part of my personality to where I hide my feelings and distance myself from others, even my family. I hate going out now, and would prefer to just stay home and play video games but not because I enjoy them so much! simply because I don't want to have to allow other people to see me. For quite some time I felt resent to my mother, because it is her genes that gives me such short stature, or even to my younger sister who luckily gets to be the same height as me. The older I get the more guilty I feel about all the opportunities I've missed out on and how much happiness and experience I have missed out on. I believe I'm at the point where LL is the decision that I must make for myself, I've tried very hard to get past this for the past 8 years and I have given it my all. I am not going to risk looking back on my life and regretting all of the things that I missed out on because I was insecure. Now more than ever, I deserve to be happy.