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Author Topic: At 20 years old, I finally allow myself to meet reality  (Read 2729 times)

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lickerish

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At 20 years old, I finally allow myself to meet reality
« on: April 18, 2018, 10:44:10 AM »

It may or may not be hard for some of you to believe but this is my first time ever discussing with others my insecurity about my height. I believe I have been blessed in many parts of life; I have two parents, growing up I never had to stress about money, pretty attractive to most girls, funny and mildly charming, but for the past 8 or so years my happiness has dwindled down and grown smaller like a candle. I had never been a big kid growing up, and it wasnt until about the third grade where at my yearly checkup the doctor noticed that I had not grown for an entire year which is extremely odd for a kid of 9 years old. My mom didnt seem to care, so neither did I. The doctor assured that everything would balance out and that I'd end up around my Dad's height at 5'9. Time went by and now I'm in 6th grade. By this time I was noticeably smaller than all of my classmates. With middle school being 6th-8th grade I was probably one of the smallest boys in the school. I wish I had numbers for you all but I know for a fact I was shorter than my mom at the time who is 5'1, so I would say it's safe to say I was about 4'10-11. This is where I became insecure for the first time in my life, about anything. I constantly tried to eat healthy foods, sleep all 8 hours and would always ask my mom to measure me in hopes of catching up to everyone else. The pain set in rather deep, and I began to have anxiety about the future and what kind of life I would have. 7th grade came and I had a spurt, I had finally began to catch up. At about 12-13 I was standing 5'3 which was pretty average for that age. Puberty had barely set in so things were looking optimal for me at this time. All I ever wanted was to be as tall as my dad, even an inch less. I never once sought out to be tall; I just HATED being short. Going into highschool 9th grade year I was probably about 5'4. growing an inch in two years where growth is supposed to be the most active was terrible. Everyone shot up past me. Fast forward to 20 years old I stand 5'5-5'6. I've tried so many times to to convince myself that it's just a part of life and that everyone has insecurities or even do things that I enjoy to remind myself of all that I have to be grateful for but as of recently those things that have made me happy are starting to fade as I finally face reality. Unless I do something, this is my height. forever. I'm sick of making excuses on why I can't meet with people or go out and do things that I want to because I hate my height. I wear insoles in my shoes to give me an extra inch which doesn't even make me feel good anymore because of how embarrassed I feel when the shoes come off once I go inside. This insecurity has eaten up part of my personality to where I hide my feelings and distance myself from others, even my family. I hate going out now, and would prefer to just stay home and play video games but not because I enjoy them so much! simply because I don't want to have to allow other people to see me. For quite some time I felt resent to my mother, because it is her genes that gives me such short stature, or even to my younger sister who luckily gets to be the same height as me. The older I get the more guilty I feel about all the opportunities I've missed out on and how much happiness and experience I have missed out on. I believe I'm at the point where LL is the decision that I must make for myself, I've tried very hard to get past this for the past 8 years and I have given it my all. I am not going to risk looking back on my life and regretting all of the things that I missed out on because I was insecure. Now more than ever, I deserve to be happy.
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Body Builder

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Re: At 20 years old, I finally allow myself to meet reality
« Reply #1 on: April 18, 2018, 10:58:22 AM »

Do LL, get 6-7 cm taller and you'll have a drastic chamge in your life.
Still you won't be tall enough for many women but noone will disrespect you for your height and if you have a good body and style you'll have successes with women too.

So your only choice is LL, moaning about yourself won't change anything.
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zakika

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Re: At 20 years old, I finally allow myself to meet reality
« Reply #2 on: April 18, 2018, 11:40:25 AM »

Well said.
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171 cm - TSF-tibia (5cm)+Stryde femur (5-6 cm) Giotikas - aim 180-182 cm

Great321

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Re: At 20 years old, I finally allow myself to meet reality
« Reply #3 on: April 18, 2018, 12:39:41 PM »

I'm sick of making excuses on why I can't meet with people or go out and do things that I want to because I hate my height. I wear insoles in my shoes to give me an extra inch which doesn't even make me feel good anymore because of how embarrassed I feel when the shoes come off once I go inside.  The older I get the more guilty I feel about all the opportunities I've missed out on and how much happiness and experience I have missed out on. I believe I'm at the point where LL is the decision that I must make for myself, I've tried very hard to get past this for the past 8 years and I have given it my all.

Hey that's exactly how I also feel and what I experienced. And I'm 20 years old, too. Only shorter than you. I'm 5'3 and my dream would be 5'7 or even a bit more if possible (considering proportions).

It's funny because I think that it would have been a lot easier for me If I were 5'6...like you. But I get how many men wouldn't be pleased with that either as my aim height would be above that, too.


Even though I really want to do this as soon as possible we shouldn't forget the risks of this surgery. So before doing this  we should enjoy life on our own(not concerning about others, women). Like doing sports, travelling and stuff even if it's only for a summer before.

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Honore

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Re: At 20 years old, I finally allow myself to meet reality
« Reply #4 on: April 18, 2018, 02:12:57 PM »

Dear Lickerish,

This is also the story of my life.. But I am a bit older and at your age I had no options for CLL.. The first time I heard about CLL I was relieved.. for the first time in my life I realized that being short is a "choice".. There IS something I can do about it...I am planning doing CLL next year, in my late 40s. So try to change your mindset and focus purely on how to get CLL... make a plan for the project, duration of the project is no issue, since there IS an option now, you can afford time. Read about the dangers of such a big, big operation(the option IS there, but it still is a huge project), get your funding in gear, get a proper education, eat healthy, work out etc etc....Your still very young, believe me, you still have a lot of time to be happy...

As I gather from your post, you are a smart kid with a lot of mental maturity and even easy on the eyes... so the future is yours... Say in the next 10 years(it sounds like a lot of time, but I assure you that the best years of your life are past 30) you get 2 operations for a total of 4 inches(10cm), at 5'10 you are of decent height anywhere in the world...

Being short sucks. Being short can cause severe mental trauma... but also make sure that height is your only problem, so before starting this whole journey get some therapy. It will only make you better prepared for the whole thing..

Good luck, my friend.
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myloginacct

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Re: At 20 years old, I finally allow myself to meet reality
« Reply #5 on: April 18, 2018, 02:46:01 PM »

I need to save a standard reply for threads like this.

But from your OP, it's clear you need some form of therapy/counseling. I know some posters here get mad when I bring therapy up, since therapy can't make you taller. However, due to sentences like:

Quote
I'm sick of making excuses on why I can't meet with people or go out and do things that I want to because I hate my height. I wear insoles in my shoes to give me an extra inch which doesn't even make me feel good anymore because of how embarrassed I feel when the shoes come off once I go inside. This insecurity has eaten up part of my personality to where I hide my feelings and distance myself from others, even my family. I hate going out now, and would prefer to just stay home and play video games but not because I enjoy them so much! simply because I don't want to have to allow other people to see me. For quite some time I felt resent to my mother, because it is her genes that gives me such short stature, or even to my younger sister who luckily gets to be the same height as me.

Even if you still do CLL and are/start saving for it, it seems to me you still need someone who listens to you and tries to help sorting some of these feelings out.

CLL and therapy don't need to be mutually exclusive.

Take the optimal routes to alleviate your suffering in life.

By the way, you can get a lot more than just one inch with elevator shoes. That'll help too.
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myloginacct

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Re: At 20 years old, I finally allow myself to meet reality
« Reply #6 on: April 18, 2018, 02:51:02 PM »

Also, do spine stretching exercises before going to bed, if possible. If you're the type who stays sat all day, there's a good chance you have both terrible posture and you can get a decent amount of height by doing stretching exercises and correcting your posture (one also helps with the other).

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CaptainAmerica

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Re: At 20 years old, I finally allow myself to meet reality
« Reply #7 on: April 18, 2018, 04:20:57 PM »

Yep, I was average height (5’3) towards the end of middle school and beginning of high school as well. It was such an amazing time, I was really popular with girls and had a massive friend group, and for the first time in my life I felt genuinely popular and normal and dominant in the way a male should be. (I was kinda short all my childhood as well). I thought I would at least be 5’7 or 5’8 given my height back then... then of course over the next 2 years everyone shot up 6+ inches while I stayed the same height. Also 20 now and 5’6 and it’s a nightmare obviously, people treat me completely different, girls do as well. It’s like I’m a ghost desperately trying to fit in and pretend he is human, all the while not being taken seriously by anyone.

I always knew since the age of 14 if I didn’t grow significantly more I’d be fkED, I just didn’t think it would be THIS bad. I remember being angry at the thought of only being 5’7. I would KILL for that extra inch now.

I’m still in disbelief at how much I didn’t grow. My body proportions don’t even look that different from when I was 13. My body frame is still small and my waist is still narrow. (This is even after working out). Meanwhile a lot of other guys I knew at 13 with my body type, not only did they grow significantly until they were 16, but then after 16 their bodies became much wider and broader. It’s fking embarrassing having to hang out with those friends now, it’s like I got left behind. I’m really in shock at how juvenile my bone structure is, because my dad looks very manly and broad and he’s also taller, I still look like a little kid compared to him. But my mom is only 5’1 and my grandfather is 5’0 so I’m not that surprised.

And yes, I resent my mother as well. Only because she noticed I was depressed and I brought this up and she tried comforting me by telling me I was “tall” and “not short.” Then I brought it up again and she got genuinely mad at me and started yelling at me, saying that I have to stop thinking about it already and shouldn’t let it hold me back in life.  ;D ;D ;D

Thanks mom, your right! Everything is gonna be just fine!


So I don’t think you should vent out to your mother expecting a lot of sympathy. They will never understand, on the basis alone of being female. Start saving up money right now and hope for the best. Good luck!
« Last Edit: April 18, 2018, 05:44:15 PM by CaptainAmerica »
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hirsty

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Re: At 20 years old, I finally allow myself to meet reality
« Reply #8 on: April 22, 2018, 09:54:17 PM »

Your situation is so similar to mine it's uncanny.

I'm also about 5'5-6 and am 20 years old. Was considering HGH but I guess that my growth plates have almost certainly sealed now.

Only problem is I don't see how I'm ever going to be able to afford it, I'm very poor in the UK, starting university this September, hoping to get into banking, we are talking 5 years minimum, 10 years realistically as it would be difficult to take time off for LLS when I'm in the middle of my career.
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myloginacct

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Re: At 20 years old, I finally allow myself to meet reality
« Reply #9 on: April 22, 2018, 10:44:02 PM »

Your situation is so similar to mine it's uncanny.

I'm also about 5'5-6 and am 20 years old. Was considering HGH but I guess that my growth plates have almost certainly sealed now.

Only problem is I don't see how I'm ever going to be able to afford it, I'm very poor in the UK, starting university this September, hoping to get into banking, we are talking 5 years minimum, 10 years realistically as it would be difficult to take time off for LLS when I'm in the middle of my career.

You aren't alone in this.

We have lots of diaries where people state they only learned about this procedure a decade before they actually did it. Hang in there.
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hirsty

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Re: At 20 years old, I finally allow myself to meet reality
« Reply #10 on: April 22, 2018, 11:01:04 PM »

Good, perhaps in 5-10 years the procedures will be more advanced and perhaps cheaper/able to be done in the UK?

I don't see how I can afford it right now, I want to get into investment banking which is very time-consuming but handsomely paid.
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lucindaris

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Re: At 20 years old, I finally allow myself to meet reality
« Reply #11 on: April 22, 2018, 11:30:33 PM »

feel you man, but honestly i see way more doctors doing this cosmetically even in Poland so if number of clinics increase they will fight for clients offering different technology and prices. Stay positive.
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short2tall

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Re: At 20 years old, I finally allow myself to meet reality
« Reply #12 on: April 23, 2018, 12:54:36 AM »

lickerish, as you can see from a lot of the other responses, you are not alone. Some of us may have different starting heights, but we all went through similar things in our childhoods that made us feel insecure about our height. Yes, many of us who are actually going through with LL right now are a little older than you and have had time to save, but the earlier you start preparing for LL the better off you are. If you decide that it is definitely something you want to pursue, then you can start to plan your future around it which will be really helpful. Choose a career where you will be in high demand so you won't have trouble finding a job after LL, or choose something where you can work remotely during LL (like IT services). There are a lot of LL options out there for you to consider, so spend some time really educating yourself on the procedures. Some external tibia methods are surprisingly affordable. Technology also continues to improve, so waiting a while is not a bad thing. Most of the LL patients I have met are around the same starting height as you, and are doing one operation to get to 5'9. That alone will be a vast improvement for you. Hang in there, you can truly improve your situation if you put your mind to it. The fact that we can control out height is one of the most powerful motivators you can have. I wish you the best of luck on your journey.
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Bilateral femurs with Dr. M on March 1st
Starting height: 5'8.5"
Shooting for 5'11"

..

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Re: At 20 years old, I finally allow myself to meet reality
« Reply #13 on: April 30, 2018, 07:00:14 PM »

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Infinity

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Re: At 20 years old, I finally allow myself to meet reality
« Reply #14 on: August 18, 2018, 12:48:02 AM »

feel you man, but honestly i see way more doctors doing this cosmetically even in Poland so if number of clinics increase they will fight for clients offering different technology and prices. Stay positive.

Hey Buddy, Are you based in poland as you seems to have a lot of knowledge about CLL and doctors in poland?
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lucindaris

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Re: At 20 years old, I finally allow myself to meet reality
« Reply #15 on: August 18, 2018, 02:22:16 AM »

Not exactly, but I grew up there and currently doing outsourcing work in benelux countries. I know there like 3 doctors who are willing to do it as cosmetic surgery and from what I can tell - it's cheaper and technology is better, ha what is even funnier that Paley will contribute new clinic in Skierniewice where they will use only his techniques and equipment! Unfortunately there is a weird mentality and stricted regulations so in most cases they will reject You. Ofc You can try to ask and write an emails, unfortunately most of the doctors don't know english well :(

http://aparatilizarowa.pl/szpitale.html - translate this website - its the list of hospitals with ilizarov techniques in Poland moreover there are 2 or more private clinics in Warsaw and Poznan not listed there where they are doing this as cosmetic surgery with Stryker and Synthes devices. They are not using Ilizarov as cosmetic procedure.
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mkeistem

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Re: At 20 years old, I finally allow myself to meet reality
« Reply #16 on: August 26, 2018, 05:55:57 PM »

Hi, I am totally new to this forum and this is my first post. I leave in Poland in Warsaw.

I am 168 and I am going to have both femurs lengten 7-8 cm by Dr Michal Deszczynski, he has just came back from US from dr Paley Clinic. He spent there more than a year and specializes in limb lengtening and deformities. He will use the PRECICE nail. He is working in Rehasport Medicover Hospital. Do you have any experience with this surgeon?
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lucindaris

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Re: At 20 years old, I finally allow myself to meet reality
« Reply #17 on: August 27, 2018, 12:23:50 AM »

Hi, I am totally new to this forum and this is my first post. I leave in Poland in Warsaw.

I am 168 and I am going to have both femurs lengten 7-8 cm by Dr Michal Deszczynski, he has just came back from US from dr Paley Clinic. He spent there more than a year and specializes in limb lengtening and deformities. He will use the PRECICE nail. He is working in Rehasport Medicover Hospital. Do you have any experience with this surgeon?

Jaka cena? Pisz priv.
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YungGud

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Re: At 20 years old, I finally allow myself to meet reality
« Reply #18 on: August 27, 2018, 06:50:19 AM »

myslim co to bude ne moc drahy
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Height 5 ft 10 ( 178)
Goal 6 ft 2
wingspan 6 ft 2 (188)

177cmm

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Re: At 20 years old, I finally allow myself to meet reality
« Reply #19 on: August 27, 2018, 09:22:47 AM »

Kurwa, zapomnijcie o operacji w Polsce. Ceny wyciągnięte nie wiadomo z czego. Internal na pewno tu nie zrobisz. Lepiej pojechać do Rosji i tam wszystko wykonać.
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6feet2isTooShort

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Re: At 20 years old, I finally allow myself to meet reality
« Reply #20 on: August 27, 2018, 10:41:59 AM »

Admitting reality is sign of a real man.
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lucindaris

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Re: At 20 years old, I finally allow myself to meet reality
« Reply #21 on: August 27, 2018, 11:45:17 AM »

Kurwa, zapomnijcie o operacji w Polsce. Ceny wyciągnięte nie wiadomo z czego. Internal na pewno tu nie zrobisz. Lepiej pojechać do Rosji i tam wszystko wykonać.

Niestety racja, miałem kontuzje na siłowni, wpierw musiałem czekać długo na termin - operacje połowicznie zjebali, następnie prywaciarze z pl mnie oskubali jak się da, a problem został. Kojarzyłem tylko 2 kliniki w PL jeśli chodzi o prywatny LL, z czego jedna już zdrożała o ponad 20 tys - a chodzi tu o koszt samej operacji i "kieszeni" doctora. Myślałem o Betz bo umiem Niemiecki i pracuję w Szwajcarii, ale opinie też takie fifty fifty.
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177cmm

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Re: At 20 years old, I finally allow myself to meet reality
« Reply #22 on: August 27, 2018, 04:57:45 PM »

Ja za rok lecę do Sankt Petersburga by piszczele wyciągnąć o 5cm. Nie ma co kombinować. Cena tam jest przystępna, wizę łatwo ogarnąć więc wszystko się da w tanszym szpitalu zrobic, zobacz jak Android sobie radzi, nie ma tragedii , opinie również dobre. Nie ma co patrzeć w stronę zachodu, to nie na kieszeń polaka, nawet w Polsce to nie jest na kieszeń polaka, najlepiej w Rosji wszystko zrobić i mieć spokój, trochę się pocierpi, łatwo nie będzie ale no pain no gain. BTW z jakiego województwa jesteś?
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wants2growtaller

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Re: At 20 years old, I finally allow myself to meet reality
« Reply #23 on: October 15, 2018, 01:50:25 AM »

Im a bit older than some of you and what I can say is that society has change quite a bit. I have always been short. But I never got bullied or treated unfairly as a child,, teenager or young adult. The world has completely changed. Once when shortness use to overlook and people focused more on personality. It is no longer the case. there was a short time when if a person had a good personality people would overlook their appearance. But its not the case anymore. The last ten years of my life has been hell. I haven't been able to keep jobs. housing etc.and I just get treated and looked down by everyone. Being short does suck. Because of how people think we are inferior and just a waste of time to deal with. Its like the only thing they look at is our height. And they think that they can find someone better than us. I have tried to fight height prejudice in t he last 4 years. But just very draining and unseuccessfu. So I just want achance at life and saving up to do CLL.
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Some of us may have ''grown'' in stature. But it seems the majority of us have yet to grow in humanity

MissLuna

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Re: At 20 years old, I finally allow myself to meet reality
« Reply #24 on: November 28, 2018, 01:18:34 PM »

Czy ktoś miał operację w Polsce? Zastanawiam się nad Trigon w Warszawie. / has anyone undergone procedure in Warsaw/Poland?
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